This week, we're talking about ABC's summer series about psychics, vampires, angels, and more based on novels by Charlaine Harris. We're joined by our good friend Marie Ann Fernandez-Silva to talk about why this one...didn't quite work for us.
Thanks to Stefan Chin for our theme music: www.twitter.com/pilocrates
Find us all on Twitter:
Marie Ann: twitter.com/mfdezsilva
Nicole: twitter.com/sweeneysays
Marines: twitter.com/mynameismarines
twitter.com/snark_squad
www.snarksquad.com
I had the truly, unironically #blessed opportunity to see the original Twitter investigation of Handbook for Mortals when it first appeared on the NYT Bestseller list. For a moment, Book Twitter came together, like the repressed Veronica Marses they are, and detected the shit out of the book no one had heard of that pushed (the amazing, worth the hype) The Hate U Give from its number one spot.
Since then, the case has only gotten stranger, partly because the author, Lani Sarem, seems to be completely unapologetic about what she’s done.
I have to admit that I was curious about the book from moment one. Snarking bad books is kind of a thing for me. Thus started the war within between ignoring her and hoping it would all go away and dragging the book because it had to be shit, right?
Right, well, here we are.
The first page starts with ms whoever saying she's NEVER had a "normal" day before. NEVER. Maybe brief normal moments. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines) September 16, 2017
I imagine those brief normal moments in her day are bathroom breaks? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/vETrTwRWPI
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
oh, honey, have I got some news for you#snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/9GiHeG93ER
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
I'll never forget this one particular, super important day-- BUT FIRST, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE COLORS I DYE MY HAIR LOL. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
Bitch, we've all had windy days. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
Levi's jeans "ripped in all the right places": a guide by me#snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/oweamXam2N
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
Yes, she's really taking time to describe her outfit, and it includes jeans "ripped in all the right places." #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
She RARELY thinks about how she wants a photographer around to capture how awesome she looks. RARELY. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/oMWb4IJqfz
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
"Even when she was in a hurry, she never looked like she was rushing or running, but instead floating gingerly." #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/Wfyh5aiXYL
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
Anyone have guesses about how she'll describe herself? Does she know she's beautiful? Is that what makes her beautiful? #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
People say she's beautiful but... but... she doesn't have a thigh-gap! #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
The dialogue is awful. They keep glaring at each other. Her mom keeps asking questions that aren't really questions. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
"I edged myself closer and directed my words so closely she could feel my breath on her face."
Awful. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/EoXCCJYVfU
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
Also, Zade and her mother have both ground their teeth during this argument? What is happening? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/wXmMzKXmNr
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
Please, for a good time, try replicating this at home. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/sStONUjBqI
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
SHE PUTS THE LYRICS IN THE BOOK. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
I HAVE COME ALL THIS WAY FOR YOU, TACKY CARPET. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
You guys just have to read this for yourselves. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/hbPzbQvXwG
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
If I hadn't been so nervous, I would've paid more attention to him! Here's 5 more lines of me paying attention to him lol. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
"I ONCE READ AN ARTICLE THAT SAID YOU CAN TELL SOMEONE'S PERSONALITY BY HOW THEY WALK AND CARRY THEMSELVES." #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
You: He was confident.
Zade, an intellectual: I once read an article about walking and now I notice that kind of thing. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
The magician's name is Charles Spellman. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
She mentions describing him as someone might describe Ford and then goes on and on about black clothes and cufflinks. WHAT. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
Says the girl that randomly wishes a photographer were around to capture her beauty in the wind. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/yqUaCBWW0f
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
Wow the beautiful woman is being bitchy what a plot twist, who saw this coming. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/4tA20P15ae
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
Hey little buddy comma. Whatcha doing there? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/Kmwl7ZRMJk
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
NOT SWOLLEN AFTER A BEE STING LOOKING, GOT IT. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
This happened a lot in Grey by EL James and we just assumed all the italics were thoughts from Grey's dick. 💁🏽#snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
CASUALLY, 11 pages into chapter 1, still no nearer to her actual audition. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/MBmvupuS6q
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
All of these professional magic show people are trying to figure out how she did her trick and she's like RUH-ROH!. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
Not eavesdropping. Everyone is just standing around her, talking about her so she can hear. Because first person is hard. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
"Calm, collected, sweet, kind, and confident cascaded out of his being."
*flips ahead to see if any editor is thanked* #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
"Even so, Riley's energy was youthful and energetic."
HIS ENERGY WAS ENERGETIC YOU GUYS I CANNOT. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 16, 2017
Dear sweet mercy, I made it out of chapter one. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 17, 2017
Zade has already met and spoken with Beth, hence why she's waiting for her. That's not how first impressions work, girl. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/RA2wbuMu1z
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
Ever hear that if you have to explain the joke, it's not funny? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/WW5DX3WtnZ
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
I knew that sharing that quote with you all you would take as a joke. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
"I stood up slowly and calculated." #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/cJpAQblUPF
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
She's still 3 inches shorter? She still... has to look up...? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/Je3sgNpOgC
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
Sucks to be you average bitches. Zade is TALL which means she can look the menses in the eye. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
"I half smiled and slowly spoke..."
DID ANYONE READ THIS BEFORE IT WAS PUBLISHED? #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
You know an argument is getting heated when a bad author whips out all the animal noises. Growling snarling hissing! Oh my!
#snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
Zade describes Charles as someone who doesn't have compromise in his vocabulary. DID ANYONE READ THIS??? #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
He demands to know how she does her magic trick hiss growl snarl. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
Charles, the magician Harrison Ford, steps in and says that Zade will tell only him her magical secrets.
The end. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
It's like listening to my 5 year old niece tell a story, honestly. Check the repetition and errors. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/st37NDgjNG
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
This is CHAPTER 2. We sill don't know WTF is going on, but we do know about her HALLOWEEN COSTUME PREFERENCES. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/Dy38mjzHPH
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
If you are playing Terrible MC Bingo at home, Zade is currently ignoring everything another female character is saying! #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
You guys. There's just been an abrupt change in perspective, indicated by this large and in charge symbol? #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/K3RomEos4D
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
Look at her describe how Mac makes a fist to knock on the door. SHE DESCRIBES HIS FIST-MAKING ACTION. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
Remember when Zade was all, "I guess I'm okay looking but I'm not skinny wah." Clarification: her waist is SMALL. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
This character is going to be played by the author in a movie. She's an author stand in. I'M UNCOMFORTABLE. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
Awww yeah, time for another round of Please I Beg You Try This At Home:#snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/4M1nFzX2Pp
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
Mac spies on her while she's naked but he's not happy about it, okay? She's the ENEMY. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
Zade literally runs into another hot guy named Jackson so I guess we have a love triangle now? #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
It's really more than just bad writing. She's so repetitive that I have to assume than she thinks we are all stupid. #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/7BaH1xqyCh
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
I have no proof, but that's what I think 'cause I've learned enough in the past to kinda prove it.#snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
Round 3 of please try this at home, scrunching twitching edition: #snarkformortals pic.twitter.com/pIuw6wPCqP
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
"Each step was precise."
All this time, I've been walking imprecisely. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
"I have long legs, but his are longer..."
YEAH, WE REMEMBER ZADE. YOU ARE ALMOST AS TALL AS THE MENS. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
Mac is back. Quiz time!
What is Mac doing?
a. singing beautifully
b. whispering
c. speaking normally
d. snarling#snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
Zade says two people are arguing and she doesn't stop to listen. Then goes on to tell us everything they are saying. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
That was her explaining why she was comforting someone who just drowned, by the way. #snarkformortals
— Marines (@mynameismarines)
September 18, 2017
SHE'S PLAYING A SONG THAT PERFECTLY MATCHES MAC AND THE LYRICS ARE PRINTED AGAIN. #snarkformortals
Somehow the Snark Ladies managed to live 3 decades on this planet without ever viewing a Star Wars film. Recently that changed and in then they attempted to discuss one. It goes...well, it goes.
theme music by Stefan Chin: http://www.twitter.com/pilocrates
Find us on Twitter:
http://www.twitter.com/Snark_Squad
http://www.twitter.com/SweeneySays
http://www.twitter.com/mynameismarines
I was listening to a book review by a reviewer i really like, and it made me better understand a couple of issues and pet peeves i have with many ya books and those inspired by the style (mainly romantasy), even if i generally enjoy the books in question.
The review is by MyNameIsMarines, she's on youtube and tiktok, and i find her analyses very good and thoughtful, and really enjoy listening to them even for books i have never and don't plan on reading.
So, let's get into the topics:
She mentioned this in this video too, it's the fairly widespread phenomenon of the main character getting some odd physical sensation in relation to the love interest. In this book it had been scalp tingling, but it can be any number of things. Often things that can be folded into the typical sensations of having a crush on someone. Marines doesn't get into it deeper because it's just one of many points in her review, but it made me realise that it is most likely a teen book adjusted stand-in for horniness. Perhaps this has been clear to everyone already but it has not for me.
Two is a thing Marines calls attention to in multiple other reviews as well, and something that annoys me deeply as well. It's when the character refuses to connect any dots. Even if they are generally capable, when it comes to the main mystery of the plot, all logic ability escapes them. Especially if they are portrayed as highly capable, perhaps even experts on some field or portrayed as some sort of genius. They behave like a maths professor, who, as soon as it's plot relevant, stares at 1+1 and goes "what could this possibly mean?". Deeply frustrating. I had one and now two theories for why that is such a common phenomenon. One is so that, being teen books which cover an age range, readers of higher and lower reading comprehension level won't be left behind by the plot. Valid, but i do think there is different ways to do this. Second theory is especially around books that keep telling the reader how super smart the protagonist is. It's so that every reader, including those with lower reading comprehension and those that didn't pay much attention and mainly came there for the romance, can feel smart for being ahead of the protagonist regarding the plot mystery. Also valid, but again you could do this in a way that is less grating, and that doesn't seem like you look down on your readers reasoning and reading comprehension abilities. Putting in pitstops to let everyone catch up is not in contradiction with believing your readers to be capable and treating them as such.
In general, i feel like, in the past decade, books (and tv shows and movies) have lost a degree of respect for the audience, of assuming the audience is capable of thinking along and rising up to being challenged.
It goes hand in hand with encouraging a rising sentiment in people that they aren't capable of learning new skills, nor of their thoughts having merit and bringing something to the world. That if they don't comfortably understand something on the first attempt, they can't ever get to a point of understanding it.
This feels deeply upsetting and infantilising and condescending to me, and fits in neatly with convenience culture and the ai boom, and unfortunately, the rise of fascism as well. It's also really fucking rude and devaluing towards the audience, even outside all those wider contexts.
Nicole & Marines have some strong feelings on anti-hero stories and this week we are joined again by Samantha Lane from Thoughts on Tomes who has her own very strong feelings on the matter. Hear about some of our favorites as well as the kinds of things turn us off from these stories.
Thanks to Stefan Chin for our theme music: www.twitter.com/itsmestefanchin
Find us all on Twitter:
Sam: twitter.com/thoughtsontomes
Nicole: twitter.com/sweeneysays
Marines: twitter.com/mynameismarines
twitter.com/snark_squad
www.snarksquad.com
In anticipation of the second season of Westworld, we watched the first season of HBO's sci fi mystery. We're joined by our good friend Abi and this conversation escalates from 0 to #deep real fast. As always we have an abundance of feelings.
Thanks to Stefan Chin for our theme music: www.twitter.com/itsmestefanchin
Find us all on Twitter:
Abi: twitter.com/abi_jean
Nicole: twitter.com/sweeneysays
Marines: twitter.com/mynameismarines
twitter.com/snark_squad
www.snarksquad.com