It’s not right, it’s a priviledge
Blog reflection 1 -- Reflection of my own reality and experiences.
Privilege occurs in many ways: situational advantages, societal advantages, advantages within a community, advantages of exclusion, and so on. These circumstances are out of our control, yet shape the world. They cause critical life-long impacts to our experiences, often ingrained as second nature; often unrealized because they are the way framework we exist in.
This is something I’ve thought about since attending Challenge Day in high school back in 2004. As a representative of Crescent Heights High School’s Leadership group, I went to Lord Beaverbrook High School for a seminar on social interactions to counteract bullying. This focused on breaking down barriers between cliques with the realization we are more than the image of ourselves; so is everyone else.
Among many exercises that day, there was one emotionally charged activity: to be seen for our vulnerabilities. Questions were asked, and to respond (in the spirit of honesty) students left the safety of the group to cross a line in the middle of the gym to form a populous of that demographic. Questions ranged from warm: ‘I have grown up in the same neighbourhood as my friends’; to harder reflection, ‘I consider my family to be poor’.
When the question came: ‘I am gay’, I was emotional, but I was able to walk across the gym without hesitation because of the safety created in this space. I knew nobody, and my honesty was inconsequential. The courage of the group that day was vulnerable: by these peers revealing their real identities, they felt both relief and objectified.
What struck me most was the exact purpose of the day: Realizing the preconceived notions I implied onto people I had never really known. Through the responses of these people my perceptions shattered.
That day occurred a decade ago. What I know now is that opinions are unconscious. It’s whether we ourselves acknowledge this habit and act against it that makes a difference in how we relate to others.
As a white male in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, I am privileged with securities and safety others are not. I have unimpeded access to clean air, clean water, and ample food supply, be it fast food chains or groceries.
I have access to support systems: government infrastructure provides access to health care, my student benefits gives me access to mental health specialists and medication coverage; if I am in need, my family live 30 minutes from my door. There is public transit in place to visit them, and they too have the means to visit me if they need. Both my parents are together. Both my parents are alive, so is my sister and my niece. I can see them altogether when I visit them.
As part-time employee, I am able to manage my time to include leisure, self-care, and pursuit of formal education. As a person with a disability in pursuit of education, I have access to grants for assistive technology which I am able to use outside of school work. As a student, I was able to leverage this status to apply for temporary housing in a well located area near my school. And, having had a government infrastructure to provide education throughout my up-bringing, I am literate to be accessing digital services and software for leisure and purposes.
Other ‘advantages’ are afforded from my minorities and experiences. Being marginalized by mental illness, sexual violence, abuse, disability, and sexual orientation I am sensitive that hardships and oppression are faced by other communities, (without first-hand awareness of the specific experiences of others).
There are several communities I have been excluded from, which has caused a lack of awareness of the world and its function. What I have realized as of late, is that I have a unique experience of growing up sheltered without basic affiliations most people in First World Nations do:
Growing up without any affiliation to either religion or politics:
Neither parent had a religious or political background, so I have no foundational knowledge of religious teachings, scripture, or community dynamic, nor policy and political framework. News and current events were never of focus, so I never knew about problems around the world, or communities, or about interactions.
Growing up without having close relationships:
As many people with autism do, my awareness of social dynamics: interactions, norms, expectations are a struggle. This excluded close relationships with extended family, immediate family, and friends.
Growing up, I was never brought up with any awareness of cultural heritage or cultural traditions:
Beyond the ritual of presents for birthday’s and Christmas, I was never learned any cultural traditions for my heritage, what my heritage was, nor of Canadian history.
My only known culture was of multi-culturalism, being a ‘friendly Canadian’, and being a white gay male in Calgary, Alberta. I will never understand the pride for a national army or firearms, nor of ‘maleness’.
Growing up without parents of an educated background, and without a dedicated career path:
Savvy of understanding of systems, societies, communities, business skill-sets and practices are unknown. Likewise, I was never aware of scientific discoveries or impacts, and their societal impacts.
Growing up with just enough to get by:
I grew up without excess. I was neither impoverished, nor did I enjoy luxuries beyond free time. My family and I lived out of a camping trailer and motel for a time, but we were able to vacation at drive in campsites in southern Alberta.
Growing up without activity, both in lifestyle and hobbies:
Concepts of discipline, dedication, and long-term pursuit were never imposed. Neither parent followed any sport or personal interest, nor associated with anyone outside of work, nor took up any general skill in mechanics, home skills, cooking, carpentry, gardening, etc.
Growing up as a white, gay, male in Calgary, AB.
I will never know what it is like to grow up as a visible minority, or as a person with a physical disability, or as a woman, or as a person with tight-knit family or social networks, or without, or as a person without access to quality necessities for life.