#myownreflection

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Little did I know

Blog Reflection 4 -- A conversation with someone of a different point of view.

Everything being said was fundamentally wrong, yet I sat there listening. In fact, I was jumping out of my seat. A debate was taking place in my global citizenship class, Citizenship without Boarders. Each group had to pick a topic -- the topics already debated: automated labour, and euthanasia. 

The other topics were interesting, making fair -- or moderately fair -- points on their own behalf. But, this debate was getting at people, it wasn’t just me fidgeting. I kept reflecting over the same meagre, stale, outdated points being made by the opposition. It got me so mindful of this, as a bystander, I could not help but write out my own responses.

When the time came for questions my hand shot up like many others. I was not going to go unheard, as was my meek attempt to ask a question during other debates. That wasn’t going to happen.     It had been a long night, and class was concluding, so I was able to reign in the full attention of the class for one seismic question. Luckily, an astute classmate followed after the conversation from my question subsided -- it was my second question, but taken further. I rejoiced, literally thanking my classmate while he was asking the question. But, still, my last question went unanswered.

Or so I thought.

While packing up, one of the three men opposed to legalizing prostitution came up to me and asked me to ask my question because it was obvious I was burning a hole in my seat during the debate. I was appreciative of this. Not only did we have a platform in class, but this was on his own time asking to open a dialogue about our differences.

I asked. He answered. And but so did others. Four of us stayed behind talking about the intricacies of what came up in the debate -- how it affected our lives, and how this plays into society as a larger picture. It was surprising to hear the humanity which was seemingly to be absent before, just as the shared opinions and shared experiences. 

What I realized was that I remove the humanity from others who disagree with me about core values. Even though I can hear someone out, I have disregarded them, written-off people as a classification according to one topic in a reality of millions of global issues.    The feeling of my eyebrows raising was abrupt when I realized I was distancing myself off, rather than engaging; further, rather than accepting that this opposition is part of other human experiences and perceptions. It is not my own, it is far from it, but people share all the same needs. To define a person off of one interaction, one behaviour, one opinion is absurd, but it does happen every day. What I realized though, is like my final year has groomed me to actively acknowledge and challenge my assumptions, I need to challenge my own resistance to that which is not my reality.

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Deciphering the Code

Blog reflection 3 -- Reflection on podcast episode ‘Eggshells’

It can be awkward realizing your behaviour is not understood by others. Then to call someone out on it, only to have them use the ‘I’m not a racist’ card. That’s right this blog post is about the things white people do which causes dysfunction while interacting outside their own skin colour. 

WRONG ASSUMPTION

Last week while listening to the ‘Eggshells’ episode of Colour Code’s podcast I was initially confused. From the language I was hearing, I was prepared to hear an angry offensive white person, with an emotional wreck of a person of colour as the introduction to the episode spoke about a heated discussion about white fragility.    Instead, I heard an oblivious man making generalisations, who when caught off guard, was not able to articulate himself well. His opposite, an intelligent woman who remained calm while still focused on making a point... to the point she didn’t seem to make much else happen. The conversation stagnated. 

The content of this problem was because the conversation focused on knit picking apart what was being said, rather than focusing on the concepts being exchanged. The conversation originated out of the topic of a poll suggesting POC do not integrate themselves into the community. The point being made is that presence in a space is interacting versus how others, particularly white people, prescribe this interaction to be becoming unsettled when others do not mirror their own behaviour.

IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS

But, the conversation was falling apart because the fill-in host was not seasoned about talking about race while hosting a conversation which is racially motivated. When this was beginning to be uncovered, he was unable to calibrate his understanding, but simply looked to affirmative conversation with like-minded people.    When faced with the opportunity to hear about how what he perceived to be normal was in fact only one reality, of many lived realities, the host decided to shut down. He defended himself rather than listening and creating an open dialogue. 

Another point I struggled with was reconciling the concept that when a person realizes their own ignorance, to not latch to others to solve their own blindspot; and, that it is not the responsibility of someone experiencing ignorance of someone else to take it upon themselves to educate that person. However, this was due to the content of the episode.    It had one person taking on that role: stepping into a conversation to correct assumptions. But the conversation was stuck on the same points rather than explaining the position and how that functioned. The conversation was stuck repeating certain points, rather than discussing the function of what was being said to the system overall. 

WHAT TO DO IF IT HAPPENS TO YOU

The conclusion of the episode unpacked the point of the analysis of the recordings which transpired: when speaking to someone who has done something racist, if you choose to engage, make sure to focus the distinction you aren’t calling them a racist: that what you are saying, is that they have done something racist. Focus on the action, not the person. Otherwise, ego will kick in. To have a productive conversation, to get through you have to walk on eggshells.    And, if you are that person who is being called out. Take a second; listen. Acknowledge your unawareness, and try to understand what it is in context that is not your own. It is up to you to figure things out, which might have to be in a different space, at a different time. 

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Yes men? No thank you, sir.

Blog reflection 2 -- Reflection from the film ‘the Yes Men fix the world’

Do you ever ask yourself, “where would we be?”... Where would we be if ‘yes men’ didn’t exist? Those mindless drones who yield to the status quo, rather than intervene in plans posing negative outcomes to the world. Where would we be?    Where would we be if large organizations and institutions were held accountable for their wrong doings? Those heartless conglomerates lobbying for their best bottom line, banking on the dividends to justify the means. Where would we be?     Where would we be if voices of those affected held more significance than the sound of the trade market bell? Those soulless peddlers governed by their wallets, while staying ignorant to those effected by their decisions. Where would we be? Who is to say? Right now, the reality of the world is that ‘yes men’ do exist. ‘Yes men’ do perpetuate industries, and major forces within them, to thrive unregulated, uncorrected, unpunished. Organizations do foster ‘yes men’ behaviour to allow exploitation in pursuit of wealth for the elite, without justice to those effected along the way.    Being this is our inherited reality, it is easy to get frustrated with how little justice there seems to be; how little change seems to be affected. History proves humour makes the public realize atrocities of the world, while finding a way to laugh through the abuse.

The Yes Men, recognized these frustrations. The duo weaponize farce to contrast circumstances of the improbable with opportunities of the impossible, making the rest of us ask “why can’t this be, instead?”. 

FILM TAKE AWAY’S

The concept of ‘yes men’ is not a new one. Neither is the impact of ‘yes men’ on the status quo. But, what is new is the taste of poetic justice The Yes Men dole out. Their stunts address industries and directly call out companies for ineptitude; trespassing against these entities by taking responsibility for their wrong doing, on their behalf.  

Some of the take away’s of the film: 1. There is a polarization of behaviours:

   Those who’s guiding star is money, and those who’s guiding star is entirely different. Reactions to stunts were based either on money lost or reputations, or praise for acknowledging the real problem being overlooked.    This further breaks down to those who blindly believe the free market should be entrusted to, and does provide just outcomes, and those who recognize the sheer volume of contradictions to that notion, and those who have lived experience of the injustice.

2. How there is opportunity for acknowledgement and accountability:

   Each stunt or hoax performed by The Yes Men addressed opportunities for people to act. The opportunities along the path of decision making where people fail to flex their critical thinking, or just raise a hand and question what was going on.    More directly, where there were audiences ready to encourage the (mock-)announcements taking responsibility for wrong doing, but there was an expectation and hunger from the world, to see these actions taking place. 

3. Misplaced sentiments:

   When the praise subsided, it was revealing to see how many people ‘spoke for’ the victims. How so many outlets spoke to outrage against the stunt.    Anecdotal evidence on the ground in many instances proved outrage of victims was toward the true perpetrators, not toward the stunts. Many victims recognized their cause had new life through new attention. New conversations. Victims were being heard, where before they were faded murmurs, or excluded from the conversation. 

These victims were historically unheard, being excluded from having legitimate hold in decision making for their future.    The people directly affected are the conversation. Without their input, without taking their input as the critical input, there is no legitimate outcome.

4. Free market system is blind to its own contradiction:

   For those who believe in the free market system, believes consumers vote with their dollars. How a person spends their dollars depends on having options; how a system executes decision making emphasises having a vast competitive market which has been driven to high quality, for lower cost. This is neither reality, nor proven trajectory of markets where the ones making the profit control the factors governing the price and quality. There is no competition. Often, those affected do not have a say in what they are given, it is dictated.

BEING AN INFO DESIGNER

Focusing on the design process, and progress of our design post-intervention, brings to mind a couple insights from the movie:

1. It is that it is okay to be outlandish:        Starting conversations can be an outcome unto itself. Conversations are a tool giving life to ideas and protest against the way things exist. Just having people question their behaviour and be aware to the behaviours around them causes change.  2. Don’t just focus on the obvious:

   There are ways into the conversation which are impactful,  but not necessarily directly considered when thought about the topic.  3. First be obvious, then be clever:

   Sometimes the impact is lost in the design. Make sure the concepts are easy to understand, and the system of design layers together important, relevant contributions to enhance the experience. 4. Cut out the bystander syndrome:

   Make a space for everyone to participate, and be included in the solution, regardless of their stance. Whether it be a thought exercise, or voicing an opposing view point, to have a legitimate dialogue is to understand all areas of the problem and how it contributes to the way things are.

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It’s not right, it’s a priviledge

Blog reflection 1 -- Reflection of my own reality and experiences.

PRIVILEGE

Privilege occurs in many ways: situational advantages, societal advantages, advantages within a community, advantages of exclusion, and so on. These circumstances are out of our control, yet shape the world. They cause critical life-long impacts to our experiences, often ingrained as second nature; often unrealized because they are the way framework we exist in.

  This is something I’ve thought about since attending Challenge Day in high school back in 2004. As a representative of Crescent Heights High School’s Leadership group, I went to Lord Beaverbrook High School for a seminar on social interactions to counteract bullying. This focused on breaking down barriers between cliques with the realization we are more than the image of ourselves; so is everyone else.

Among many exercises that day, there was one emotionally charged activity: to be seen for our vulnerabilities. Questions were asked, and to respond (in the spirit of honesty) students left the safety of the group to cross a line in the middle of the gym to form a populous of that demographic. Questions ranged from warm: ‘I have grown up in the same neighbourhood as my friends’; to harder reflection, ‘I consider my family to be poor’.

   When the question came: ‘I am gay’, I was emotional, but I was able to walk across the gym without hesitation because of the safety created in this space. I knew nobody, and my honesty was inconsequential. The courage of the group that day was vulnerable: by these peers revealing their real identities, they felt both relief and objectified.

What struck me most was the exact purpose of the day: Realizing the preconceived notions I implied onto people I had never really known. Through the responses of these people my perceptions shattered.

   That day occurred a decade ago. What I know now is that opinions are unconscious. It’s whether we ourselves acknowledge this habit and act against it that makes a difference in how we relate to others.

MY PRIVILEGE

As a white male in Calgary, Alberta, Canada, I am privileged with securities and safety others are not. I have unimpeded access to clean air, clean water, and ample food supply, be it fast food chains or groceries.

   I have access to support systems: government infrastructure provides access to health care, my student benefits gives me access to mental health specialists and medication coverage; if I am in need, my family live 30 minutes from my door. There is public transit in place to visit them, and they too have the means to visit me if they need.  Both my parents are together. Both my parents are alive, so is my sister and my niece. I can see them altogether when I visit them.

   As part-time employee, I am able to manage my time to include leisure, self-care, and pursuit of formal education. As a person with a disability in pursuit of education, I have access to grants for assistive technology which I am able to use outside of school work. As a student, I was able to leverage this status to apply for temporary housing in a well located area near my school. And, having had a government infrastructure to provide education throughout my up-bringing, I am literate to be accessing digital services and software for leisure and purposes.

Other ‘advantages’ are afforded from my minorities and experiences. Being marginalized by mental illness, sexual violence, abuse, disability, and sexual orientation I am sensitive that hardships and oppression are faced by other communities, (without first-hand awareness of the specific experiences of others).

MY BLINDSPOTS

There are several communities I have been excluded from, which has caused a lack of awareness of the world and its function. What I have realized as of late, is that I have a unique experience of growing up sheltered without basic affiliations most people in First World Nations do:

Growing up without any affiliation to either religion or politics: Neither parent had a religious or political background, so I have no foundational knowledge of religious teachings, scripture, or community dynamic, nor policy and political framework. News and current events were never of focus, so I never knew about problems around the world, or communities, or about interactions.

Growing up without having close relationships: As many people with autism do, my awareness of social dynamics: interactions, norms, expectations are a struggle. This excluded close relationships with extended family, immediate family, and friends.

Growing up, I was never brought up with any awareness of cultural heritage or cultural traditions: Beyond the ritual of presents for birthday’s and Christmas, I was never learned any cultural traditions for my heritage, what my heritage was, nor of Canadian history.   My only known culture was of multi-culturalism, being a ‘friendly Canadian’, and being a white gay male in Calgary, Alberta. I will never understand the pride for a national army or firearms, nor of ‘maleness’.

Growing up without parents of an educated background, and without a dedicated career path: Savvy of understanding of systems, societies, communities, business skill-sets and practices are unknown. Likewise, I was never aware of scientific discoveries or impacts, and their societal impacts.

Growing up with just enough to get by: I grew up without excess. I was neither impoverished, nor did I enjoy luxuries beyond free time. My family and I lived out of a camping trailer and motel for a time, but we were able to vacation at drive in campsites in southern Alberta.

Growing up without activity, both in lifestyle and hobbies: Concepts of discipline, dedication, and long-term pursuit were never imposed. Neither parent followed any sport or personal interest, nor associated with anyone outside of work, nor took up any general skill in mechanics, home skills, cooking, carpentry, gardening, etc.

Growing up as a white, gay, male in Calgary, AB. I will never know what it is like to grow up as a visible minority, or as a person with a physical disability, or as a woman, or as a person with tight-knit family or social networks, or without, or as a person without access to quality necessities for life.