every night i cant sleep... im up till 4 or 5 in the morning thinking. thats it, im just thinking. im thinking what am i doing tmrrw and i'll think what am i going to eat then what im gonna do next, then my mind goes to "i wonder what Noels doing.." "i wonder if he still thinks about me.." "i really want to talk to him but he has a boyfriend and i miss him but they have a solid relationship unlike our skype calls/ facetime/ messaging.." i was happy.. i looked forward to every single day as long as i got to hear your voice or just seeing you even if its through a computer screen and for a minute before you had to work.. i always gave you a stupid virtual kiss and "i love you". but i guess now i have to find that happiness and joy somewhere else. well, this post went a little bit deep but idc. whatever