A New Beginning
“Hey.” You gave me a glance, a grin, then a double take. “You did your hair different tonight,” you said.
While you look as breathtaking as always, darling. The way your cheekbones arched would turn the gods green with envy, and the twinkle of city lights caught in your dark eyes would put the stars to shame. I gave you my brightest smile. It wasn’t hard, you always did bring out the best in me. “Do you like it?” For you, my darling, this is for you.
“Yeah. Yeah, it suits you.” And you gave me that lopsided smile. One that I knew only mischief would ensue. I did not mind, it graced you well. “Then again you could go mohawk, and I’d still think it suits you.” You sighed dramatically, “It’s alarming, truly, how I am blinded by love.”
I laughed and shook my head, as though I took it as yet another of your sweet-nothings. But you could probably see it in my eyes: My darling, I hope your words ring true.
“Come on, we don’t wanna miss this!” You took a hold of my hand, and our fingers intertwined together just perfectly, the bare warmth of our chilled skins complimenting each other. Don’t you think this is a sign? We are simply meant to be.
You pulled me towards the voices, chatters and laughter and occasional jesting shouts, a crowd of so many bodies, all united in one purpose tonight. I could feel the excitement in you, the energy rushing into you and thus into me, too.
“Five..!”
The crowd was starting, and I tugged you back just slightly, holding your hand firmly but gently in mine. You turned your head around, your soulful eyes askance.
“Four..!”
“Let’s share this one only between us, my darling,” I whispered.
“Three..!”
You seemed bewildered, whipping your head once again toward the jolly clamor behind, then back to me. But I could see agreement in your features, if not comprehension. That was one of the reasons why I gave my heart to you, darling, because you trusted me with all yours.
“Two..!”
I let go of you, and slipped my slowly-freezing hand into my bag.
“One..!”
BANG!
“Happy New Yeaaar!”
There was confusion in the way you looked at me now, and ache, slowly forming. Oh, I’m gonna miss your gaze, my darling. You always seemed to look straight into me, tearing me open as though I was nothing but soul and heart. Did you look the same way into others?
“Shhh, darling, it’s okay, it’s only the fireworks.” I took a step toward you, and you took a step back. I held back a cry of protest. Is this how you want us to end, darling? You slowly put your hand on your chest, where there was a silent gape, almost invisible on your midnight blue sweater. I put my gun back into my bag. “Don’t worry, it’s necessary no more. Just you and me now, just us.”
You fell to your knees, and I rushed forward, catching you before you hit the ground. “Shhh, I got you, I got you.” Your eyes were endless pools of horror and disbelief, and I imagined you would push me away if you could, wouldn’t you? I lay you down, carefully placing your head on my lap. Don’t I always treat you with gentleness, darling?
“I’m sorry I had to do this,” I cooed, brushing a stray lock from your temple, “I just love you too much, darling, don’t you see?” I’m sure you will understand, you have always been so considerate.
Your eyes were still on me while the other side claimed you gradually. This way your last sight would be on me, oh, isn’t it grand? No longer would you see those blue eyes or gray or green.. only these hazel of mine. I wondered about that often, you know, whether you had another color in mind while you were staring at me. Not something I would worry about anymore. I smiled, pouring all my feelings through this simple gesture, so you could remember me as this beloved of yours. Always yours, now and forever.
My fingers rested lightly on the side of your face, my thumb brushing your cheek. And to think I used to fret inside, pondering if you unwittingly wished for freckles on my fair skin, just like that one before me used to have. I couldn’t bear my own thoughts, sometimes. But I have managed a happy ending for us now, don’t you agree, darling?
I felt your shudder, and watched a cloud of breath leaving your mouth, the last you would ever manage. Your gaze was empty and cold now, accusing. Gingerly I closed your eyes, took your hands and arranged them clasped on your stomach. As careful as possible I moved your motionless body to the side of the alley. I adjusted your scarf so it hung around your shoulders neatly. It isn’t too cold over there, is it, darling? You looked like you were only resting, so peaceful in the mid of night.
Darling, darling, death dresses you well.
I bent down and pressed a tender kiss to your cold forehead. Farewell. Until we meet again.
My fast steps were unheard in the midst of the commotion, people celebrating the coming year. After each end follows a new beginning.
No one paid attention to my hurried pace. I was only another one rushing in this jubilant hour, possibly trying to catch another party before the high spirits dimmed. The road was full of people and vehicles all the same, mingling in similar speed.
“Taxi!” I raised my hand to hail a cab. One pulled over and I slipped myself into the back seat.
“Happy New Year! Where to?” the driver greeted, glancing at the rearview mirror.
“Happy New Year,” I bid him in return. “The airport, please.”
“Aaaah. Traveling for the holidays?” he asked, eyeing me through the glass.
My hand went to my bag, petting the canvas material, where inside I had secured few essentials, a pair of glasses, a new passport.. then to my hair, resisting the urge to remove it. I just couldn’t wait to see how I look with my new hair.. concealed under this artificial one. My fingers paused as I realized the driver was still waiting for my answer. I couldn’t really explain in length, now, could I? “Yes, I am.”
“Hope you’re not catching a flight in the next hour or so? Traffic’s been terrible all night.“
"No, it’s still few hours away.” I smiled politely.
“Ah.”
He left me to my own thoughts, then. Probably sensing my lack of enthusiasm to chat. I was glad for that.These last few hours will be dedicated for you and I, my darling.
I let myself gaze unseeingly out my window, where lights and colors passed and blurred together. A song came on the radio. A tradition so popular all over the world, though I had never quite found a liking to it. But I supposed.. tonight it was rather fitting.
My mind easily wandered back to the one I had left behind, a faint smile on my lips as I reminisced on all the happiness we had shared together. Before I knew it I found myself singing along softly,
”Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?“
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