#myself.

[bootdork]

Kind of giving homoerotic & homophobic 1980s mechanic. I need a drag name.

@toadmancer @ashtnketchup @khaoticdyke @chainmail-butch @farmerlesbian @butchchrist @kingblau @throwaway-settings hi favorite gay people

[crimsonboundfate]

I've been told a photo isn't necessary but recommended.

[ close up shot of the pretty lady. ]

[finallylanei-2503]

Yo apparently I can send myself asks this is so cool

BAHAHAHA I CAN SEND MYSELF ASKS WOOHOO

I'm. Not going to do anything with this knowledge. But it's fun to know.

[raemet]

If I look uncomfortable, its because I am.

[ yes. this is a character rebooted. past relationships are wiped cause I wanna give a fresh start.

art is old af and I'll try updating later. anyway, the old detail shots too. ]

[marketablekai]

Pros of not sleeping;

I'm energetic... and... Nice... Maybe...

Cons;

I keep on talking to myself and hallucinating....

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE I WAS TALKING BRO SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME

[sodachalice]

i hate this mindset i have developed as of recent (the past ~4 years) that fanart is essentially worthless. its this thing that saddens because i do not even entirely agree. i love fanart, fanart is probably my favorite genre of work because i almost exclusively like art about metagaming- i like art thats ABOUT art, and one of the most poignant and simple ways to communicate that in modern art is to make art about your favorite series. i do not believe in piracy or intellectual property in the slightest. but my issue is so much fanart feels so emotionally vapid. i don't know. i am a huge HLVRAI fan, it is one of my favorite series of all time, i've been rewatching it on repeat recently and looking at a lot of fanart, and something i find really really funny but also really saddening is the grasping of straws to find symbolism and meaning in the most ridiculous stuff. whenever i see someone draw a picture of benrey sad and it's clearly an expression of self i always just wonder why they couldn't have drawn it of themselves and not of their favorite character.

and i guess that goes back to my own insecurities too, huh? i used to draw my favorite characters instead of me for years and years and years. i have said multiple times that i refuse to ever draw myself, that it just doesn't interest me. and now that i've found myself outside of that dissociation i have done a total inverse, i refuse to draw anything that is not some sort of facet or understanding of myself. maybe i'm projecting. but also it doesn't change the fact that i still feel that way. i see an image of someone pouring their heart out into a ridiculous improve larp series made by dicking around completely on VR and i wonder why they have to use the skin of that to make their emotions palatable to an audience. do they want me to like it because of the series? or do they want me to like it because of their expression? who did they make this for? would they be happier drawing something more symbolically important to their life? are they happy enough drawing their favorite character without needing to tie it to a higher meaning? am i jealous? am i disgusted at the fact that it is so common for people to make fanart now and rarely make their own ocs or stories? am i frustrated because i know they could make more compelling meta art about their interest if they just let themselves make art about their relationship to the character instead of just drawing themselves as the character? how much of that is a reasonable conclusion and how much of that is a projection of self?

[divinegallery]

getting ready and skulling a water ~