Why? WHY? I hate this so much, i can’t stand it. These feelings are coming again for me and are making me remember how I used to be, before. Before I was a Christian, a flashback that burns me alive. I really do believe in something after this temporary life, but a really close person of mine just doesn’t, My dad. Yeah, so he’s just like making logic physical responses to everything that I try to explain to him about my christian thoughs, is just like an idiot teenager, you are trying to teach him something but he just doesn’t give a fuck and do what he wants to do, and believes what he wants to believe. Why can’t he just see the truth? Why everything for him has to have a visibly answer? He’s all like “I have to see it, touch it, feel it for believe it”. Is so sad, not just to see him falling in the deep hole of men incredulity, but making me really think of and be afraid of so many things with all of his blowing mind up questions like, “what if everything you do isn’t worthy?” “what if hell or sky just doesn’t exist and after we die there’s NOTHING?”, there comes the question that I used to ask myself over and over and over again. *flashback* middle of night, empty room, loud silence, crying of believe that of that way everything was going to end, just a deep darkness. Is sad to believe that for most of people that is the truth, you there five feets apart from floor being eated by insects and that everything you did in your life just didn’t make a difference and you were just another thing in this “made for a mistake” world.