Jun 11, 2019
i can succeed at this fucking test and when i do, i’m going to live the life that i want and DESERVE.
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i can succeed at this fucking test and when i do, i’m going to live the life that i want and DESERVE.
wow, can i really dream that big?
can i dream to have all those things/circumstances and dream even bigger than that? i probably have small wants compared to others. maybe, just maybe in 6 months it could be true. maybe!!!! the fantasy of it is so intriguing.
sad news again. didn’t pass again. hoping that i don’t lose my faith in His plan. i hope that i can be better this time, in all areas. pray even harder, believe even more, and study as diligently as i can.
I was a high school Sophomore. Sixteen years old and trying to figure it all out. I knew God existed. I knew He was for me and never against me. I knew well enough to know that He would remind me constantly of who He saw me to be. Yet, there I was amidst the hustle and bustle of all things high school. Trying to figure out who I was on my own. Relying far too much on what others thought of me to define me. Relying far too much on the ‘in-crowd’ to affirm who I was. Was I wearing the right shoes? Were my braces too much? Was I ‘in’ enough with the ‘in-crowd’? Deep within my heart, I knew that only He could truly teach me, lead me, stretch me, grow me into the person He created me to be. That sweet sixteen year old constantly sought answers from the world surrounding her and she was slowly being torn to pieces. “O Lord, my God, in you I take refuge; save me from all my pursuers and rescue me, lest I become like the lion’s prey, to be torn to pieces” (Psalm 7:2-3). Those years of high …
“But firmness of faith allows me to truly rid myself of the lie that this world or any title it could give will satisfy.“
aka
God will give you a peace that the world cannot give.
/ / /
I struggle with this every day. I look for fulfillment in things and status and what i should “be” right now. If only I could remember I will never be satisfied on this earth. I will only be satisfied with my Father in heaven. Then I could let go of so much. I pray God continues to speak to me though devotionals and studying scripture.
2019
the new year is here and i am glad. maybe this will be the bigger and better year than last. hopefully. prayerfully.
Lord, I lift up my family, husband, and dogs. Please let us flourish in good health, good fortune, success, good days and nights, and love every single moment. I pray this year is fulfilling and filled with positive changes in my life.
What I want you to hear in today’s readings, sisters, is that God multiplies our generosity in ways we can never imagine: “They shall eat and there shall be some left over.” (2 Kings 4:43) We need not fear giving away those things to which we cling so fiercely. You might not be clinging to strawberries, but perhaps there is something else on your heart of which God is gently urging you to let go.
https://blessedisshe.net/devotion/on-strawberries-and-true-generosity/ via @blessedisshe__
How quickly I forget that God knows my needs and is caring for me.
https://blessedisshe.net/devotion/manna-and-brussels-sprouts-god-knows-our-needs/ via @dere_abbey
Season change
Finishing the exam. Definitely a season change I didn’t think I’d get to. But here I am. 13 days later. I am thankful that I got through it. Now I have all this time to focus on myself, focus on my faith, and to move forward in more areas of my life. I hope that by the next season change that I am happy with what I’ve done.