4/23/18
I woke up at 5 a.m. What's 30 and I thought I was going to go to the gym and no one was awake and it was really annoying so I can get out of bed today and it was really frustrating and I don't know why I couldn't get out of bed but I couldn't so I need to work on my mental health again cuz I'm having trouble getting out of bed It's been a long time since I've Journal super long time Lake Forest days
I stay the weekend over at Mom's and honestly I don't it didn't feel like a break and I don't know what I did wrong We got to vacuum and my floors and vacuum and it feels amazing and I love it so my room is very clean It also feels very sterile I don't know if that's the right way I guess and needs more plants I think it has something to do with the white walls and it doesn't have a lot of red so I need to fix that cuz I don't like it
My head hurts a lot that'll take me to the doctor or a psychiatrist or f****** anything and I'm sick of constant lee hurting it really sucks there's only 7 weeks of school left I had an essay to do an engine nudity and I was f****** terrified I'm making dad take me to the gym today there's no way he's not texting me because I need to go it's been 2 weeks and I don't feel as good as I should England vacuum my floor again there's like little bits and pieces lyrics over you know I'll be nice i'm sick of hurting all the time journaling really helps my mental health And I need to do it for at least 10 minutes a day or else I freak the f*** out I like plants I don't know what else to say on this late but I got to talk for 4 more minutes so not yet I like Mason but he's never going to hang out in my room
I need to take a shower Oh man just walked up to our house took a photo with her iPad now she's walking away and she CPS she is in a Blue Van the license plate number I remember this game where you remembered the license plate number and that was a person who like tried to molest you were whatever it was like this game that you lived through life like completely and it was such a waste of time but it was so long and I don't think I ever finished yet I think I kept restarting trying to be the best play through
I don't even know where I wanted I don't even know what I want I feel ready to go back to school now and it's 155 what is a 220 and I need to work on self-care And I need to figure out what self-care is best for me Journaling works Going to the gym works I don't know if drawing self care for me or not You know it doesn't work watching like 15 hours of Netflix I just don't feel good after the feel anything feel depressed I guess
I remember when I took classes online there were some days where I just couldn't do it and I wonder if that's the same thing now where there are some days where I just I can't do things I mean some days are just worse than others I need to figure out what days are worse than others so when I'm stressed or when I haven't gotten enough sleep or really shity sleep it's a lot worse so I need to work on that