- mentioned in passing
This is so fucking val coded

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- mentioned in passing
This is so fucking val coded
It really does say a lot about how romanticized and theatricized alters are online when people go into denial or feel isolated for displaying the most textbook DID/OSDD symptoms.
Not knowing who's fronting, not knowing how many alters you have, not knowing when you switch, not knowing alters' names or why they formed, alters not having names, having no internal world or a very vague one, having no internal communication, struggling with external communication, experiencing alters as different overlapping states of self instead of separate people, hell even just experiencing amnesia.
These are all extremely common symptoms of DID/OSDD, especially when you're untreated or early in treatment. And yet they're all common reasons for why people feel like they don't belong in this community, because the reality of this disorder somehow doesn't conform to the online expectation.
How bad is the state of CDD awareness, even among those who proclaim to have it, that the most common manifestations of DID/OSDD are so underdiscussed that the majority of people with these conditions cannot find understanding even in a community meant for their disorder? When anything that doesn't play into the "alters are separate people and friends in your head" narrative is ignored and erased?
OH MY FUCKING GOD THANK YOU ABOUT TIME SOMEONE SAID IT
Having Dissociative Identity Disorder is strange because why was I diagnosed with a rare disorder and now I can't live normally without people going like 'omg do you like.. have fictives' or 'im endogenic' or 'did isn't real' or a bunch of misinformation being spread about it.
Like... worry about my seizures rather than if I have introjects or not. And get a fucking job in the real world rather than moderating an 'endogenic' discord server.
DID is literally insane because I have to recover from trauma I don’t even remember
get bbc sherlock up in this bitch already
Haveing DID but in like the I'm not trying to dissociate more and I think getting more alters is actually a bad thing way and not in the uwu fun role play way
from the bottom of my heart: just because something makes you uncomfortable doesn't mean it shouldn't be allowed to exist
"But what about <thing that literally kills people>?"
This was on a non rebloggable post so I'm setting it free.
This would have had me crucified on tumblr 10 years ago but maybe we are ready for this conversation now:
If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.
This is a PSA to about 3/4s of the Portland Youth populace
everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.
Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system
(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy
One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable
To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit
"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."
I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.
everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing
Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction
They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined
Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman
beating this dead horse with memes
trauma so bad my coping mechanisms have names and pronouns
plus a lot of people live in this fantasy land where physical health problems are taken seriously and addressed immediately. like they think if you faint you get rushed to the hospital and everyone spends days and nights investigating what's wrong. instead you will spend 6+ hours in A&E waiting room only for someone to be like "well you seem fine now" and discharge you. you can be coughing blood every day, or throwing up anything you eat for weeks or months, and the people around you will not mobilise to find out what's wrong. if you can't self advocate or have someone very dedicated to advocating for you, you're outta luck
Folks have got to understand that they probably aren't messed up by some Secret Big Trauma that they just can't remember; but rather by a million tiny microtraumas that they do mostly remember but don't even register as traumatic because nobody actually understood that these things would cause trauma, much less stack on each other over the years.
Whether you're carrying one big rock or a big ol' bucket of sand, it's going to weigh on you just as much.
This is why psychologists have started taking more of an interest in CPTSD in the last 10-15 years. What most people know as PTSD is a response to a single, intensely traumatic event (or even a series of events). However, CPTSD (chronic post-traumatic stress disorder) is caused by living for years in a situation where your nervous system cannot catch a break. Even if nothing huge ever happened to you, you always had to be on guard for a thousand little things that could and did happen.
After years and years of this, your nervous system gets "stuck" in an activated threat response. It never really lets you rest, and if this started when you were a kid, you may not develop a lot of neural pathways that you should have, because your brain was too focused on keeping you safe to bother with little things like "genuine human connection" and "interpersonal attachment."
No lie, Complex PTSD/CPTSD is HUGE.
If you are disabled, if you are queer, if you are chronically ill, if you are the survivor of a toxic but not abusive relationship, if you grew up or lived under the threat of harm but no "actual" harm (or "very little" harm) was done, you may have CPTSD that isn't getting caught because CPTSD looks different from PTSD.
At the risk of falling into a trivialization trap, a lot of things you may not perceive as traumatic actually are. I was embarrassed for a long time in both group and individual therapy to say anything in my childhood was traumatic, because I was sitting with people who had suffered horrible physical or sexual abuse. But here are some things that are, in fact, traumatic and - when they occur over a long period - can set you on a course of maladaptive coping for decades if not addressed:
Being told or shown that your emotions are not valid, that you have no safe place to express them
Parents or caregivers oversharing graphic trauma from their past with you
Threats of physical violence, even if not carried out
Being told or shown that affection or approval is contingent on competency or academic success
Prejudice from inside OR outside the family (homophobia, racism, body shame)
Mocking or dismissal of things that are meaningful to you
If you constantly feel unworthy, afraid, ashamed, or even flat and emotionless, it's worth exploring why. And, because you've been so consistently undermined and minimized, you may feel like a fraud for being upset or functioning poorly. You're not a fraud; it's years of conditioning telling you "I should be able to handle this" or "lots of people are worse off than I am so I shouldn't complain." Your conditioned brain is lying to you; you won't be able to open yourself to the joy of trusting relationships with others OR do meaningful things to help those who are worse off until you do the work to melt the block of ice surrounding you. All my love to you, friends.
Pete Walker is a therapist that's been on the cutting edge of this for many years, and he has a website here with plenty of free resources. (Just straight PDFs of parts of his books!)
Also, his books are not that expensive, well-written, and truly helped me process a lot of my trauma. I did a ton of it alone because I couldn't find a therapist for years, and those books (complex ptsd: from surviving to thriving & the tao of fully feeling) really changed the trajectory of my life.
He talks about grieving, about changing our internal dialogue to one that's positive instead of negative, talks about SEVERAL trauma typologies, and more.
As someone who has been diagnosed with the big trauma PTSD but most of their problems were coming from the little stuff that was CONSTANT and made me run on 2000% all day every day, this guy is a lifesaver. I'm so different from how I was before, especially with the help of some in-person therapy. Finding the right person makes all the difference, truly.
You can pick up his books on the website, but if you're looking for resources on this and you have the space and support to be able to do some of your own work (please don't do it completely alone unless you must) check out the sidebar over at pete-walker.com. He made this incredible resource that not everyone knows about and I try to share it where this comes up.
Thank you for informing people about this.
Reblogging for the additional info and resources, and to emphasize that the C does indeed stand for "complex," not "chronic." (Understandable that people would get mixed up, though.)
you’d be surprised at how many doctors will tell you that schizophrenics shouldn’t masturbate, have sexual fantasies or write/draw erotica, let alone date or have actual sex, because it “distracts them from recovery”, as if schizophrenia is a two week course of antibiotics and not a lifelong neurotype and disability
in general I notice this attitude in the schizophrenia and bipolar treatment community that people with these DXes are never allowed to do anything non-constructive that normal people can do in moderation, no alcohol, no caffeine, no thc, no going to late concerts or parties, no unplanned trips, no spontaneous situationships, not even junk food. the only thing we’re really allowed to partake in is nicotine, I assume because cigarettes and gum are good incentives for controlling our behavior. our lives have to be All Working On Ourselves, All The Time, because we have Erratic Crazy Person Who Can’t Make Their Own Decisions Disorder, and it’s an endless, thankless task because there’s no actual cure.
sane person goes through a depression era in high school and does one bad thing that wasn’t illegal or even really mean-spirited, just irresponsible: wow I’m so glad you’re through that, that was a tough time but you pulled through
insane person goes through a depression era in high school and does one bad thing that wasn’t illegal or even really mean-spirited, just irresponsible: sorry but we just don’t ever feel like we can trust you alone again even though you haven’t done anything like that in over a decade. this is why you can’t go to a party on your own at 32.
This is a named phenomenon, it's called the dignity of risk. Essentially, neurotypical and non-disabled people are allowed to make "bad" decisions. They're allowed to stay up late and drink too much and whatever else, even though those things could have negative impacts. However, people who aren't those things aren't afforded the ability to make "bad" decisions and do detrimental things. There's more to it than that but my shift is about to start, sorry.
therapy for DID is so fucking stupid. like yes i’m paying you to ask me about my trauma but i wont answer. yeah sorry man you have to talk to the bouncer first
I spoke about my DID to a therapist and asked if it would be an issue because it might be a bit to navigate, and she said "as long as they all can work together and get along, I don't see why we even need to talk about it"
Ma'am, I don't mean to assume you know nothing, but I don't think you quite understand what it is that we're doing here.
Needless to say I was magically graduated from therapy 2 weeks later without anything really changing.
As long as your disorder isn't disabling you'll be fine :))) hold that helps!!!!!
Manifesting