Everywhere she went, Nadia would soak up all the approval she could ever get like a sponge to water. She supposed it was the side effect of never getting that approval from mommy and daddy as a child–diagnosed people pleaser at birth. Nadia envied her twin brother and his nonchalance, how people never phased him the way they did her. She wished she could wring herself of this need, the constant desire to hear how proud of her they were.
Most importantly, she wished she didn’t get so jealous of Anaya every time Etsuko even just smiled at her. Nadia tolerated her well enough, even if watching her talk to her swords while they ate at the table creeped her out. If she had to guess, the two of them were the closest to acquaintances shared by a deep respect and love they had for Etsuko. But sometimes it was nice talking to her, glimmers of her real personality shining through in their brief conversations. One day Nadia may give her some pieces too.
Now wasn’t the time to stress out over the weird swordswoman, her focus should be on this cookie dough batter. For the first time in God knows how long, they finally had downtime that didn’t just last an hour. The island that they all visited and saved decided to provide them with a giant feast after Etsuko walked out of the giant palace with blood splattered all over her, blood that wasn’t hers. Nadia never thought a large group could cheer so loud at such an image. She offered to help, but a short older woman pushed her to sit down, not wanting to make her work after everything that they did. Even though she didn’t know what she did, Nadia still listened to the kind old woman and ate up every bite of food she could take in.
So now that everybody was fed, Nadia decided to experiment. Her wrist was cramping with each stroke of the spatula she was using to mix with. pausing every few minutes to alleviate the cramps. She frowned down at her unmixed batter and down at her cramping hands. An electronic mixer would help her so much right now.
“Cooking and baking, you can do it all huh,” a voice broke her thoughts and Nadia looked up to find Anaya walking up to the bar and sitting down at a chair.
“Mostly. I’ve never baked chocolate chip cookies before.”
“Well nobody has ever said they liked cookies.”
Anaya nodded in agreement, as she couldn’t argue with her point. She stared down at the batter and back at Nadia rubbing her wrist. The two of them sat in silence for a while, a silence that left Nadia fighting back the urge to squirm. Was Anaya judging her and her abilities? Was there to be a loud, rambunctious sound of laughter? Is she–
“Do you want me to finish mixing the batter for you?” Anaya suddenly asked her and Nadia’s cheeks flushed at the very incorrect assumption that she made. She chewed her bottom lip before nodding, watching Anaya get up to move towards the bowl. Before she reached her hands into the bowl, Anaya paused and walked over to the sink to wash her hands thoroughly. Anaya then came to the bowl and began to dig her hands into the mix, watching her make more progress than she could in an hour.
“Katsuo and I used to bake together from time to time. He taught me this method with mixie cookie dough batter,” Anaya explained, Nadia nodding with a hum of acknowledgement. Like anything Anaya ever did, she did it with every drop of concentration. Her eyebrows were furrowed tightly and her tongue poked out of the side of her mouth. In something so mundane, this type of concentration was…endearing, to her.
“I think the batter is ready,” Nadia noted and Anaya nodded, the two of them beginning to break off little round shapes of dough to put on the premade cookie sheet pan that Nadia made. She didn’t make a large batter, not wanting to waste any food in case it was messed up. The two of them used up the batter and then Nadia put the pan in the oven and set the time for ten minutes. And now, they waited.
“This has been nice,” Anaya said softly, her eyes never leaving the oven. Nadia looked over at her, watching her so intently. Her arms were crossed against her chest, her eyes periodically darting around to watch the cookie dough. Nadia never noticed how striking her profile was, never understood how she didn’t notice how pretty Anaya was. She cleared her throat, shifting her gaze back at the oven.
“Yeah, it has been. I don’t ever get to um…do things like this,,” Nadia confessed to her, fidgeting the seam of her short-sleeved dress-shirt. Out of the corner of her eye, Nadia noticed Anaya staring at her, anticipating her next words almost. “I’ve never cooked or even baked with someone before. I always did everything alone.”
The silence between them didn’t have the same discomfort, but there was an atmosphere that Nadia never liked feeling. Vulnerability. She realized very quickly that this was the first time she was so open with Anaya as Nadia glanced over at her. Her breath caught in her throat as Anaya stared at her with an even more unreadable expression. But there was something so soft about it, Anaya’s face so relaxed as she watched her. It was certainly a look that she’s never seen Etsuko receive. The alarm to the oven went off, breaking their silence and Nadia moved to bring the pan of cookies out of the oven.
“We should do it another time then,” Anaya states, the two of them circling back to another silence as they wait for the cookies to cool down. “If you want to, anyway.”
Anaya grabbed a cookie from the pan, satisfied with how cooled off the cookie was and took a bite of it. She let out a satisfied moan, Nadia’s heart beating faster at the approval as she noted the little bits of chocolate that appeared on the side of her mouth. A wide smile stretched Anaya’s face as she finished the cookie and she thinks she may faint at the silent approval. Yes. Yes she needed to see this from Anaya.
