#nala talks

[miunala]

i feel very unlikeable lately lol i think im annoying my friends too much, like maybe im too clingy or talk a lot. i dunno. might just be looking too deep into it but yeah…

[miunala]

sometimes i visit my parents and realize why my body spent the past five yrs in a constant state of fight-or-flight

[miunala]

funniest effect from the lexapro is me having started feeling more present in my body on day 2-3. like hey. hey. you mean to tell me that me feeling like my entire existence was focused exclusively in my head was not normal? me being able to feel things but not entirely process them was not normal? my friend said, “so nala, there’s this thing called dissociation-“, and i was like but it wasnt as bad as the VERY first time i had a dpdr episode so surely it was just normal, right?

like omg. my skin started tingling for some hours one day then after that i could actually feel my legs in the bed. i could feel the blankets on my skin??? i could feel the WEIGHT OF MY BODY??? holy. idk if its placebo or what but if lexapro is what got me out of a mild dissociative state that ive been in for YEARS idk if i should be pissed (bc i couldve had this the whole time) or grateful (that it finally seems to be improving) LOL

[miunala]

i started lexapro!!!!!

[miunala]

im gonna celebrate something tmi okay like legit tmi just ignore this BDJDBDJ

I CAME WITH JUST MY FINGERS HELL YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

on my way to learning my own body more!!!!!!!!🥹🥹🥹

[miunala]

cw masturbation (LOL)

so like, recently ive been exploring more with self-pleasure and thought to myself today, “okay, lets try this with just fingers”, bc i read smut where a character got off with clit stimulation via fingers, and thats just never been achievable to me…i usually use vibes bc its quicker?? and when i initially tried, it felt like nothing to me…

but this time i warmed myself up a bit and went for it…i didnt finish but exploring the feeling for some minutes lowk got so overwhelming with just my hand that i had to stop before i could get there😭 and then when i stopped i couldnt get back so i ended up using the vibe anyways just to get it over with LMAO… idk how ppl use just their hand😭 but i guess its just hard for me bc ive always just used the toy

gonna read up more on this sometime bc curious LOL…at least it helped w my period cramps

[miunala]

i got accepted into a college program for this fall !!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[miunala]

im home (kpop demon hunters ao3 works tagged with suicide)