#nameeverynumberstudies

[vanessainstem]

I’m doing an internship at Lawrence Livermore National Lab this summer ✨

And I applied for graduation today! 2021 is going to be great!!!!

[vanessainstem]

Breakfast

[vanessainstem]

Notion spread part 1: fall ‘20 semester homepage, master to do list, to do list for the week

[vanessainstem]

January 24th, 2020: 10:04 AM

I’ve been on my phone way too much recently, so much so that my eyes have been hurting a little. I guess I’ll have to minimize screen time a lot for these next few days.

Here are some pics of study notes. I’ve been reviewing for my calculus based classes and it’s honestly been great! My confidence is higher, things are making sense- I think my math maturity is increasing a bit!

[vanessainstem]

I have been very sad. Here’s some pics of cookies and a candle.

[vanessainstem]

January 23rd, 2020: 1:14 AM

This. This is the feeling that drew me into math, this euphoria... I tackled this stupid integral problem for the first time two days ago and I wasn’t quite getting it. It was sort of on the back of my mind. I returned from hanging out with a friend late tonight and for some reason, I was drawn back into the problem and decided I would finish it before I headed to sleep. At long last, after 2 days, the answer came to me... Not the world’s most complex problem, but it was difficult for me nonetheless.

The rush never lasts long, but oh, it’s sooo worth it and reminds me that I will never, ever regret studying mathematics, no matter if I end up doing something completely different in the future.

[vanessainstem]

I’ve been MIA from tumblr lately- been working on some interesting stuff. I’m organizing a panel about REU’s at a scholarship program across several community colleges and probably a second or third panel on math specific summer research opportunities. I’ve also been cooking up a website to consolidate advice and resources on math opportunities such as conferences, research, and summer programs.

I’m finding that I’m much more enthusiastic about this type of work than my actual studies. I’ve been thinking about what that means for my future. Maybe it’s the true motivation/purpose I’ve been looking for in my career...

[vanessainstem]

I was just told as an Asian-Latina female math student by a white female math student that she thinks diversity (in this case, ethnic/racial diversity) is stupid bc it doesn’t matter what race a mathematician is to her as long as they can do math. There are no words adequate enough to describe how this feels. This comes on a week where I’ve attended two math lectures and noted how almost everyone was a white male, usually on the older end.

To top it off, she was saying she understands why diversity in gender is a big deal, as she is often the only female in a group of guys doing math. I’m in shock. We’re both undergrads at CUNY, a diverse school in one of the most diverse places on the planet (NYC). I was talking to her about Math REUs, which are summer research programs that are supposed to encourage more underrepresented minorities to try out math research, and how one website seemed to only feature white people.

I wrote her a thoughtful note in return and urged her to check out the current Abigail Thompson & diversity discussions that are going on in math community right now. But I’m not sure it will do anything and I don’t expect her to read it.

Your feminism isn’t true feminism if it’s only feminism for white women & isn’t intersectional. I’m going to write a longer post about this on my blog some time. Maybe a YouTube video but idk yet.