closed starter for @numbncss || location: a hotel room, somewhere in Manhattan
another sunday, another clandestine meeting. something that was meant to be a ‘one time thing’ half a year ago, now had a schedule by now. though alex would be lying if he didn’t admit that their encounters weren’t the highlight of his week. even if he didn’t get to spend as much time with her as he really would like. even if he so desperately wished their time together could be outside these four walls. the secrecy, the carefully calculated time and places: it was frankly eating him alive at this point. but he’d rather take this, than spend no time with her at all. wasn’t it pathetic? his first time falling this hard for someone being under these circumstances. with someone who wasn’t remotely as invested, who only saw him as a good distraction. him being a secret. should he feel used? absolutely. but he didn’t. he was just happy she wanted him in some way, even if it was just his body. despite him wanting way more than that from her.
he usually didn’t give a shit about the awkward silence that followed after a round with someone. but with nari: it felt intimate and vulnerable. peaceful. even if he knew he’d go back to feeling like absolute shit the moment she was gone again. there were very few moments he could share with her that weren’t entirely sexual, and this was one of them: so he cherished them deeply. just holding her like this. often wondering what was on her mind, something he knew he would never be able to decode. what if she was thinking about him right now?. of course alex would be a fool to think she’d ever leave her handsome, celebrity husband and run away with a lowlife like himself. he was just a fun time. but he didn’t let those thoughts consume him, and placed a soft kiss on her shoulder instead to get back into the moment. “do you have to leave early again today, or can you stay a little longer this time?”, he softly questioned.
alex desperately needed someone to talk to about what was going on, maybe that way he’d feel a little better. and the only friends he had: they were involved in the situation, so he had no one. it was saddening how he was always the one doing the talking though. alex knew that the least thing she cared for with him was talking. but he could try. if not: it’s not like it would be a first for him to bottle everything up. or maybe he just needed a good excuse to keep on holding her like this for longer.











