I think that one of my latest personal posts kind of made a few people respond more seriously than I thought it’d happen? So I’m explaining this once for the few peeps who reacted to it @naru-bae @artistari-chan @lady-nounoum @tomletism In case you guys expected a reply from me, here it is–!
Just boring stuff below the cut so everybody else can ignore this o/
I’m not sure how to start this but I think it’d be good to say that I simply wanted to explain that post where I stated that I want and don’t want to delete my blog!
Yes, I’ve been thinking about deleting my blog. That is not a thought I’ve been having for two weeks. It’s a weird kind of feeling that is constantly in the back of my mind and it usually resurfaces whenever I’m stressed or when I feel like my own blog restricts me more than it gives me the freedom to enjoy myself. There are various reasons why I’ve been feeling unhappy and I don’t want to bore any of you with my personal life here which is why I won’t go into the details here.
All I want is y’all to know – because a few people personally messaged me with more worry than I expected – that I’d definitely not delete my blog without a proper warning and without thinking about the consequences for a long time! I’ve had this blog for many years now, and I certainly don’t want to lose contact with all the people who’re always so kind and supportive. I’d not say goodbye and leave forever because that’s just not who I am. If I slowly grow apart with internet friends, it’s another cup of tea. But I’m usually the one messaging people even after weeks or months because I truly do care and it’s not easy for me to let go happy times just like that.
So, no, even if I decided to delete my blog someday, I’d inform all the people I’ve come to love personally about it. I’d exchange e-mails or I’d consider making a new blog just to stay in touch with you guys or whatnot. But I’d not post a single sentence and then go just like that!
And back to that one post that kinda made all this happen... I stated myself that I’m not sure about it. Like I mentioned above, it’s a weird kind of feeling as my blog makes me happy and sometimes unhappy at the same time. I’m not able to really sort my thoughts when it comes to that, but it takes more than a little frustration to make me leave a place that has been my home for the past years.
I know that tumblr can be a place that I enjoy a lot and where I can talk to sweet people and where I can find new fandoms that make me incredibly happy! But there are a few things that sometimes drag me down, and it usually happens all of the sudden, even on days that have been absolutely peaceful and happy. I’ve been hiding a lot lately, closing my blog and my inbox because I thought to myself, why should I keep it open if it stays empty anyway? And I sometimes mentally hissed at people who tried to interact with me all of the sudden, though that’s actually a really kind thing to do and I just.... ?? ?
I don’t even know what to feel or think sometimes because it’s all so weird. But what I know is that I would never go and delete my main blog all of the sudden! So if I post some weird stuff again, it’s just me suddenly getting hit with depressing feelings (even though I was extremely happy just a minute ago) and trying to cope with them by posting stuff on my blog!
I’m still thankful for your comments and messages and I hope that everything is clear now! Have a nice day, guys!