#nasbf

[justastraymoa]

Chapter 1

Ch. 2 | Masterlist

You go to your first Stray Kids concert and find your soul group.

Warnings for swearing, mentions of money and bills, mostly crack and fluff.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest. Do not repost on another site. (Reblogging is fine)

You stood front row of the standing only section that was a low key mosh pit at the very edge of the stage of your first – and likely only – Stray Kids concert.

Every once in a while, you remembered that after everything this concert cost you over 2 grand and a pang of panic lightning went through you at the thought of upcoming bills you didn’t know how you were going to pay.

Then you remembered that you were within water gun distance of the stage and you may get to touch one of their hands as they ran by in the little section between the stage and crowd. Then those bills didn’t seem to matter anymore. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you and you weren’t going to let adult responsibilities ruin it.

You wore a little bit of everyone. Wolfchan shirt, Jiniret earrings, Dwaekki eared hat, BbokAri and Han Quokka stuffie keychains on your belt loops, a PuppyM printed belt, and you had Leebit and FoxI.Ny painted on several spots on your skinny jeans. Several concert freebies filled your pockets and decorated your neck and wrists.

You screamed, jumped, and sang with the amazing crowd of STAY around you, vibing with the strangers that didn’t feel like strangers at all. You almost went feral when one of Stray kids even looked in your general direction, sometimes grabbing the nearest person, sometimes being grabbed by the nearest person to join them in the awesome moment. You were having the time of your freaking life!

So much so that your aching feet, ankles, and legs didn’t even register in your mind. You have been on your feet, jumping, standing, dancing, walking for almost five hours now. You arrived early to exchange freebies and chat with other fans, then the concert itself. Aches and pains were expected, and you had a large stock of Gatorade and pain meds at home to help later.

But now you don’t care about the pain. Now was your dream moment. I.N was lightly jogging your way, huge smile on his face and hand out for high fives as he passed. He occasionally paused for a picture or to sing his part.

You stood almost frozen so you didn’t miss his hand as he passed, not even daring to breathe as he got closer and closer and you prayed he wouldn’t break off to go back on stage before getting to you.

Finally, after agonizing seconds that felt like hours, he passed and his hand just brushed the very tips of your fingers, leaving your whole-body tingling with euphoric excitement and pure joy. Pulling your hand back, you stared at your fingers in wonder, feeling the nonsensical burn of tears build behind your eyes.

You were turning into one of those crazy sobbing fans you always rolled your eyes at in fan videos, feeling secondhand embarrassment for them. But now you get it. You understand.

As fixated as you were on the fingers I.N just touched, you didn’t notice him skid to a stop and spin back around, scanning the crowd he had just given high fives to with sharp eyes.

A ring Bedecked hand entered your vision and gripped your hand, breaking your awed stare. A new wave of tingles waved under your skin, and you looked up, right into the wide eyes of Stray Kids Maknae.

“It’s you.” Your eyes flicked down as you read his lips, unable to hear over MIROH playing around you.

You? What did you do? Did you break a rule? Hurt him somehow? Your nails weren’t overly long so you don’t think you accidentally scratched him. And others had given him high fives too so it couldn’t have been against the rules. Your heart raced as fast as your thoughts. “What did I do?” More security started flocking to I.N, seeing what the issue was.

I.N seemed to panic a bit, gripping your hand tighter and eyes hardening with determination. He pulled you closer to him, looking around for something.

The STAY around you watched in confusion, taking steps away from you as if to declare physically that they were in no way with you.

“What did I do?” You repeat louder as you hit the barricade between you and I.N.

Instead of answering your question he lets go of your hand in favor of gripping you under the armpits and starting to pull you over the barricade. “Come with me.” He grunted like you were resisting him at all.

Still confused, the security staff started to help I.N pull you. Lifting your legs and pulling on your belt until you were finally on the other side, I.N still holding you and you still anxious and confused.

You were holding onto him awkwardly with your elbows, afraid to fall, but keeping your hands up and away from him. You didn’t want anyone to think you were refusing to let go or anything.

Before you even had your feet properly under you, I.N released you, grabbed your hand again, and started pulling you along while talking rapidly into his mic.

Blinking rapidly, you realize the music had stopped and you and I.N were now on every screen in the stadium. The other members had finally noticed the commotion and stopped singing to ask their youngest what was happening.

And I.N was dragging you while shouting into the mic in excitement. “I found her, Channie Hyung! I didn’t mean to, but I found her!”

You shook your head in denial. Whoever he was looking for, it was not you. You are just a fan living paycheck to paycheck who spent a month of bill money to come to this concert. You only learned Korean to be able to understand them during lives! He had to be mistaken.

You started to resist when you got to the stairs and realized he was going to bring you up on stage. Both I.N and the security still behind you nodding and talking to you, pushing and pulling you up the stairs, not letting you escape.

“No, no, no, it’s okay! I finally found you!” I.N tried to reassure you.

You felt like a reverse bobble head, constantly shaking your head no. “I’m not.” You protest as the other members met you all halfway.

Being this close to all of them was overwhelming and you straight up started panicking. Heart racing, flight response at 100 panicking.

BangChan being the observant best leader of SKZ and STAY noticed right away.

You pulled at I.Ns grip on your hand as BangChan subtly gestured for the others to back away a bit and give you room.

“You are scaring her, I.N. Why are you dragging her up here?” BangChan asked in a low, calm voice. I.N still hadn’t properly explained anything. Too excited.

“I had to! IK had to show you!” I.N pulled at your left leg almost frantically, lifting it too high and throwing you off balance. You flipped backward, landing solidly on your back with your leg still in the air.

Dazed, you had a sudden thought. You were too in denial to call it a realization still.

Was he-? He couldn’t be looking for your soul bond mark. There is no way. There is no possible way you came to a Stray Kids concert to fully fangirl, scream until you lose your voice, and have the absolute time of your life, just to find the soul group you never had a hope of finding. And it was Stray Kids. No. What is this? A Disney channel movie?

Both of them rushed to help you and see if you were alright. I.N seemed to come down a bit from his manic excitement as he apologized several times.

You gently waved them both away before they could pull you to your feet again. Instead, you sat up, but stayed sitting, giving your sore back and behind a moment before you stood up.

“Wrong foot, but I am not part of your soul bond.” You deny as you pull up the pant leg on your jeans as far as it would go.

The eight spiked circle with a star in the middle was clearly revealed and behind BangChan the cameras zoomed in on your ankle, displaying it clearly for the thousands of fans to see as well.

“Be careful, ankle is free, but I charge for feet videos.” You say to the nearest cameraman without thinking. There was laughter from the couple of people close enough to hear you.

But then BangChan went still and silent, staring at your ankle. Confirmation enough that he had never seen the mark before, which means that it couldn’t be on his body too.

“See! I don’t know what you thought you felt or whatever it was, I.N. I’m sorry. I’m not the one.”

It was widely known Stray Kids was a soul group and they have confirmed it is a nine member one. Large soul groups aren’t unheard of, but most are 3-5 members only. The more members you have the less likely you are to complete it. Stray Kids very carefully kept their mark a complete secret. No one knew what it looked like. And popular head cannons were that Woojin was their ninth member, even though he left Stray Kids.

However, instead of agreeing with you and telling staff to get you the hell off their stage, BangChan shifted and pulled down his sock, removing the tape under it as well to reveal a very familiar soul mark.

Everything around you went silent and dark as you zeroed in mind and body on that one single mark. A mark you never thought you would see on another body. This wasn’t just impossible, it was unimaginable, unthinkable!

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” You finally said – right into the mic BangChan was still holding.

The entire stadium erupted both from the swearing and the soul bond reveal double whammy. It was so loud the stage shook under your feet and your ears rang. BangChan gave you a lightly scolding look and moved the mic away.

You shrug, unapologetic. You swore. A lot. It was basically 70% of your personality also how you survived daily life.

The other members, not able to hold back anymore, swarmed around you. Lee Know rubbed at your ankle like it was going to come off, and you realized the tingles you got when you touched I.N weren’t from excitement. It was the bond reacting to another member. Identical tingles erupted from Lee Knows touch as well, making you twitch slightly.

“I am so screwed.” You say mostly to yourself as Lee Know meets your eyes with his own wide in wonder.

Suddenly someone lifted you from behind. “Let’s get her backstage. We still have a concert to finish.” Changbin grunted as you scrambled to get your feet under you. You couldn’t stop the flinch, your back not liking the sudden movement.

“Be careful! She was just body slammed on the floor!” Han protested when he saw your face.

“No, I’m fine. I wanna watch the rest of the concert.” You protested. It was barely half over! You try and turn back to the stairs you were dragged up.

Both Changbin and Felix stopped you, spinning you back around. “Nope. You can watch backstage.” Changbin denied.

And really, it’s not like you had forgotten that you were within shoulder bumping distance of all 8 members. Or that Changbin currently had both hands on your upper arms, steering you backstage. Its just – two thousand dollars! You worked so hard to be here and you didn’t wanna watch from a TV screen. It just wasn’t the same!

Changbin led you backstage where staff took over so Stray Kids could get back to their concert.

Backstage was chaos and they were quick to shove you into what looked like a dressing room and shut you in. Alone. And there wasn’t even a TV to watch the concert on like Changbin said! You were just shut in a room alone with only a sore back and ass and racing thoughts.

Lost, confused, and a little scared, you plop onto the couch to wait for whatever is going to happen next.

General Taglist @stellasays45 @beebee18 @weird-bookworm @velvetmoonlght

[justastraymoa]

Chapter 2

Ch. 1 | Masterlist | Ch. 3

Warnings for swearing, mentions of money and bills, mostly crack and fluff.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest. Do not repost on another site. (Reblogging is fine)

The longer you sat there, listening to an amazing, slightly muffled concert through the walls of the dressing room, the more doubt crept in.

This wouldn’t – couldn’t – end well.  You are just a delulu STAY at their first and only Stray Kids concert.  You weren’t ‘idol’ pretty and you had no skills that would benefit the group.  You had a go nowhere job that you liked well enough, and it paid the bills most months.  (When you didn’t spend all your money on going to a concert)

So as the boys started a 3rd encore song, you found a scrap piece of paper and pen.  On it you wrote a short explanation and goodbye.  Then after a pause you added your phone number – a complete whim that would only help their lawyers contact you for veiled threats and NDAs, you were sure.

You left the note in a visible spot and slid out the door, looking for an exit.  If you were lucky you could get to your car and leave before the huge mass of post-concert traffic appeared.

You weren’t in your car for ten minutes when your music was interrupted by a phone call and an international number flashed on your small radio screen.  You sigh and debate ignoring the call for now.  Not just to procrastinate the inevitable, but you were also trying to find your way out of an unfamiliar city, and you were a bit stressed about it.

In the end you hit the answer button before promptly forgetting and yelling “What do you mean one way!  How the hell am I supposed to get to the highway if all the streets are one freaking way!”

“Angry driver.  Noted.”  A voice replied over your speakers.

“Not angry.  Stressed.”  You correct before registering that the voice on the line was not some unknown lawyer.  “BangChan?”  You squeaked.

“All of us, actually.  Where are you?”  Seungmin demanded a little farther away from the phone than BangChan.

“On my way home.  I wanted to beat traffic.  Just have your people call me.  I’ll sign whatever.  I don’t plan on using this against you or to get clout or anything, so don’t worry.”

There was background noise as they all did their post-concert things.  “You are our soul member.  The final one.”  BangChan pointed out the obvious.

You rolled your eyes.  “I know.  I was there.  I saw.”

“Sorry, I was really excited.”  I.N apologized again.

“I’m not mad.”  You may have to lay low on the internet, but the chances of anyone finding a no one like you were….who were you kidding.  Its STAY.  They will find you in less than ten hours.

You will need to deactivate your accounts.  Inconvenient, but not a huge deal.  Empires can be rebuilt.   You mostly used them for reposting cat videos and Stray Kids memes at this point.  Not a huge loss.  But they did have your picture and information as well in the profile and older posts.  Better to be safe and make new ones with fake info.  Until it all dies down and everyone forgets about you again.

“I know that this is all…crazy, but we can work something out.”  BangChan was saying, bringing you back from your thoughts and plans.  “Just come back and we can talk.  Or we can meet you somewhere.”

Meeting up to sign paperwork.  Makes sense.  E-signatures probably weren’t enough for this sort of thing.  They needed to threaten you in person.  “Okay.  When and where?”

“Hyatt Hotel on East in about an hour?”

You were a little surprised.  “Your people can have paperwork ready that fast?”  They must have a basic copy of all the NDAs and stuff ready to go at all times.

“Paperwork?”

There was a commotion as someone took the phone from BangChan.  “To be clear, we want to talk about you joining the soul group and staying with us.”  Lee Know clarified sounding muffled like he was super close to the phone.  The harsh sound of breath on the mic as he spoke.

You laugh humorlessly once.  “Yeah, I don’t think so.  I don’t exactly fit in with the things you do and the people you hang out with.”

“Who hurt you?”  Social media king Felix chimed in.  You snorted.

“Just meet us at the hotel.  I’ll have staff get you at the door.”  BangChan said as he took back the phone.

You were relieved.  Less likely to be swarmed by phones and screaming fans if it was staff and not Stray Kids coming to get you.

~

As soon as you stepped through the automatic doors of the Hyatt, four security guards surrounded you, blocking your path.

“What is your business today, miss?”  The most decorated and highest-ranking guard asked.  He was firm but not unfriendly, a rare ability and one you appreciated.

They were sure to be on the highest level of alert due to Stray Kids staying in the hotel.  And you were still covered in Skzoos from head to toe.  You were ringing every one of their alarm bells.  Though you were also happy they were so diligent in protecting Stray Kids.

That being said, you tried to give off respectful and non-threatening vibes.  “I was invited here by Stray Kids.”

After a brief back and forth over their radio, you were led to a private meeting room within the hotel where Stray Kids were already waiting for you.

I.N immediately ran up to you.  “You’re back!”  he slowly, tentatively reached for your hand and you let him.  Feeling the wave of shock as his fingers gently curled around yours.

“Is your back okay?”  BangChan asked.

“I’m fine.”  Truth enough.  You would be stiff and sore for a couple days, but you would be fine.

Hyunjin shifted forward.  “We went to find you right after the concert, but you were gone.”

He wanted to know why you left, but how do you begin to explain?  How do you explain how you never expected to find your soul bond?  Or how little you felt around them.  How overwhelmed.  They were people – humans – just like you, but they felt like so much more.

“I guess I didn’t think you would want to deal with this tonight.  You have to be exhausted.”  You shrug.  Again, not a lie, but you couldn’t explain how you knew you weren’t enough.

Don’t get it wrong.  You are pretty, and strong, and smart.  But you knew your limitations too.  And none of your looks, strength, or knowledge will help in their world.  The intricacies of their world were foreign to anyone who wasn’t in it.  You are a huge fan, and you know things, but not enough.

BangChan looked uncomfortable.  “Do you…have someone at home?”  He bit at those full lips of his, making them redder.

“Are you asking if I have a boyfriend?”

“We – ah -a girlfriend is fine too; I’m not making assumptions.”

He is adorable when he is flustered.  “I don’t have either.  I don’t date.”

All eight of them seemed to release a breath at the same time, visibly relaxing.  If the situation wasn’t totally fucked you would have added that moment to one of those perfectly in sync videos fans made.

“Then stay with us.  We have plenty of room.”  I.N suggested eagerly.

“Ayen, calm down.”  BangChan chastised gently.  He looked around the room at the others before settling on you again.  “Every one of us would love to have you stay with us.  Join the soul group officially.  But it’s a huge commitment.”

“And we are asking you to essentially drop everything to follow us on our dream.  Its not fair to you.”  Felix put in even as he looked physically pained to do so.

“Exactly.  So we understand if you don’t want to.  Maybe we could visit or do something a couple times a year.  Or you can join us on a couple trips when you are able.”  BangChan suggested.

“We will take you in any way we can.  In any capacity you are okay with.”  Lee Know added.

Something inside you swelled to the surface and you felt adrenaline start to make your limbs shake.

“You want me to stay?  Even though I know nothing – well not enough to really help at all.”  You had to be sure.  Absolutely sure this is what they were saying.  And that they knew what you could and couldn’t bring to the table.  “You want me to join you and travel the world.”  It sounded too good to be true to be honest.

“Its not easy.  Long hours, little sleep, lots of traveling.  It’s a lot mentally and physically.  We would be here to help, but it’s still a lot.”  BangChan warned.  “But yes, it’s our dream to have a complete group.  To have you.”

You don’t respond, but you do pull your hand gently from I.Ns grasp, ignoring how his face fell and eyes immediately resembled a kicked puppy.

You had the drive to the hotel to think over the possibilities.  Especially after you very tentatively let yourself start to believe Lee Knows words on the phone.  You still had to make sure they knew you couldn’t contribute much, if anything, but you had mostly come to a conclusion before you even walked through the hotel doors.

And it may still not work out.  You might not be able to take the pressure, but there was really only one answer to their offer.  Their once-in-a-lifetime offer.

So, you fished your phone out of your back pocket and dialed your boss.  All eight boys watched you, looking nervous but curious.  “Hey boss.  Just letting you know, I quit.  I found my soul group.”  Then you hung up, ignoring the tinny voice of protest on the other end of the line and the excited shifting in the room.  You turn back to BangChan.  “I guess I’m going on an adventure.”

**Side question for everyone. Which header/cover picture do you like more this one or the purple one?

NASBF Taglist: @hannahdinse8 @fackeraccount @akela1andthebee @samve1286 @ncityswrld @rayraymylove @becrazy--beyou @danielle143 @undiagnosedillnesses @yoongina58 @junebuggz

General Taglist @stellasays45 @beebee18 @weird-bookworm @velvetmoonlght @clairementsolo

[justastraymoa]

Chapter 7

Ch. 6 | Masterlist | Ch. 8

Warnings for drugging, struggling, fighting, kidnapping, lying, deceiving, terror, fear.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest. Do not repost on another site. (Reblogging is fine)

The kids were very careful not to let you go anywhere outside the building or apartment alone. You didn’t feel controlled and they weren’t overbearing about it, but it was noticeable from the very beginning.

And though no one had said anything, you also knew why. Ninety-eight percent of STAY were happy and supportive when it came to you. But the other two percent were angry and violent.

Even if no one told you about it, you saw it all. Your secret social media accounts followed all the top Stray Kids pages as well as your favorite pages from before. And that two percent was everywhere. Determined to make themselves known and heard. Trying to find people who felt like they did.

The Kids were far more concerned than you were. After all, they were just people hiding behind a keyboard. And the Kids tended to over protect, just like you tended to over coddle.

Everything was going great. You have gotten closer to the boys and enjoyed every minute of it. Just last night you all had a mini game night where they patiently taught you how to play some of their favorite games. You were terrible, but you all had a great time.

It also gave them an excuse to get physically closer to you. Especially I.N, who preferred wrapping his arms around you to show you the controls. You enjoyed the night a lot. It was a nice break from the chaos and stress of the comeback preparation.

Now on top of recording and choreography they were starting Unveil videos, photo shoots, appearances, promos, and even music videos.

And they wanted you to be involved.

Hyunjin, who was still a little shy around you when you two were alone, came over while they were getting ready to film and unveil. “Come be my partner for the scene?” He asked adorably fidgety.

You agreed because it would most likely only show you for a few seconds or less. You weren’t going to be anything but a prop, and you preferred that.

They gave you this really cool outfit that was earthy tones and made you feel freaking amazing. You were nervous about being in front of a camera though. Didn’t want to ruin the shot or make Hyunjin work more, but still feeling badass.

There were cameras capturing every angle of the scene they set for Hyunjin. It was a quick scene where they had you sit on a table full of stuff. They told you to keep looking at Hyunjin intensely as he walked to you and caged your hips with his arms. He was supposed to give a similar intense look first to the camera, then to you.

As soon as it was time to get serious and intense you felt the strong urge to smile and laugh which would ruin the scene. It took every bit of mental and physical discipline to not give in to the urge.

To your shock it was Hyunjin who broke and laughed. Snorting loudly and making you break. “What?” You ask trying to get yourself back under control.

“You look so intense and serious!” He explained getting pack into his starting position. “Sorry, sorry. Again.”

Clearing your throat, you schooled your face back into the intense look you were supposed to have. “Don’t make me laugh. This is so hard!” You told him as he shook himself out and prepared to begin.

They had you both do the scene five times. Each time they reviewed the shot with Hyunjin, made small adjustments, then did it again. Over and over until they were satisfied. You stayed in your spot; worried moving would mess up one of the perfectly placed and constantly adjusted items around you.

Finally, everyone seemed satisfied and Hyunjin came over to help you off the table with a bright smile. “You did great! Thank you for being my partner for this.” He pulled you into his side as you both went to get out of the outfits.

“Anytime. It was kinda fun. Interesting to see the other side of filming.”

“You’re pretty good at the intense looks. It really caught me off guard.”

A nice girl in a mask gently took your arm to lead you to a different room to change. Hyunjin hesitated to let you go, giving the girl an odd look like he had seen her somewhere before and didn’t trust her.

“Hyunjin?” You ask, alert at his hesitation.

He shook his head and squeezed you in a hug. “It’s nothing. I’ll see you soon.”

The girl tugged at you impatiently and led you away. You easily followed, glancing back at Hyunjin once. He was watching you walk away with an odd look on his face. Eventually you turned and were unable to see him anymore.

Turn after turn you followed the girl. Past any room they were using for the shoot. You were even more suspicious now and you slowed down, pulling against her. “Where are we going?” You question attempting to pull your arm from her grasp.

“To get you changed.” She mumbled not looking at you but tightening her hold on you.

You pull harder and her grip becomes painful and bruising. “You are hurting me!” You complain. “Everything is back there. I want to go back.”

She mumbles something and pulls you further away. You were suddenly very sure she was not there to help you change. She wasn’t there to help you at all. “Who are you?” You demand loudly, still pulling and fighting against her. Maybe Hyunjin was still in ear shot and would come to your yells.

Very quickly you found yourself struggling against her hard as she continued to drag you further and further away from safety. You shouted for help, for Hyunjin, for anyone that could help get you away from the girl and back to your soul mates.

Twisting you around and firmly pressing a rag to your mouth and nose, she silenced your shouts and forced you to breath in a strong, sweet, cut hay smell that burned your nose and eyes. It took long minutes of struggle and lack of oxygen before you finally lose consciousness.

NASBF Taglist: @hannahdinse8 @fackeraccount @akela1andthebee @samve1286 @ncityswrld @rayraymylove @becrazy--beyou @danielle143 @undiagnosedillnesses @yoongina58 @junebuggz @beppybeesnuggets @wolfhallows4 @certifiedchangbinlvr @pemdasislife @applesrpeak @thatgirlangelb @azzydaddy @jizzuo308 @lyracarvahall @juju-227592 @mintchip17

General Taglist @stellasays45 @beebee18 @weird-bookworm @velvetmoonlght @clairementsolo

[justastraymoa]

Chapter 8

Ch. 7 | Masterlist | Ch. 9

Warnings for Kidnapping, hitting, bound hands, crazy behavior, lies, swearing, angst, hurt, no comfort (yet), hospitals, police officers, sharp weapons mentioned, blood.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest. Do not repost on another site. (Reblogging is fine)

When you come to you struggle to understand. To remember what happened and why you couldn’t seem to move. Your face and mouth burned from the chemical they were exposed to, and your head felt dizzy and uncontrollable on your neck. It was worse than the day you had low blood sugar, but still familiar.

You blinked away the blurriness of unconsciousness and looked around you, pulling at arms that would not move. You are taped to the arms of a dining chair with layer after layer of black duct tape.

You were in a small apartment. Open floor plan from the kitchen on your left to the living room you were placed in. The small dining table, missing the chair you were in, broke up the two rooms.

The apartment was clean, but full of shelving and tables. Posters and pictures covered the walls, the shelves and tables filled with magazines, albums, Skzoos, and absolutely everything Stray Kids

Pillows and blankets covered the couch and lay over tables and shelves like displays. Half a dozen light sticks sat behind a glass door, surrounded by plastic covered PCs and more albums.

The TV played phone recordings and photos of multiple Stray Kids events and concerts. Some of specific members and some selfies with the girl who kidnapped you. The one who somehow managed to get a job as staff.

A scrapbook album on the coffee table next to you held what looked like PCs and fan made items with the Kids’ autographs on them.

“Do you like it? I spent years collecting it all.” The girl came into view, looking over her collection in awe and wonder. She no longer wore a mask and had a manic look on her face when she finally looked at you.

“Who are you? What do you want?” You ask, voice rough from yelling so much and inhaling whatever chemical earlier.

The girl giggled. “The question is; WHO ARE YOU?” Her sudden yell made you jump violently. Her manic smile was gone, replaced with something unhinged and sinister. “Who are you to be the final member of Stray Kids soul group? What makes you so special?”

This was a question you had asked yourself many times. You only ever came up with one answer. “I’m no one special. I just got really lucky.”

“Exactly!” She lunged forward towards you. “You are nothing! You faked it! You lied to them!” She jabbed an accusing finger in your face.

You shook your head, terror squeezing you tightly from the inside out. “No, I didn’t. I didn’t trick them.”

The blow was unexpected. A backslap to the face you never saw coming and only realized it happened when your head snapped to the side and your cheek started to burn and throb. Causing another injury and irritating the reaction from the chemical that was already there.

“Liar!” Another slap. This time your lip split painfully, and you tasted blood. You wanted to sob and scream for help. Your instincts all going haywire with things you had always thought you would do if you were ever in a situation like this. Run, fight, hide. Survive. Now that you were in this situation all those made-up scenarios seemed dumb and childish. They were nothing like the real thing. The fear cannot be imagined.

Suddenly she stood up straight, looking you up and down, the manic look gone for the moment as she assessed you and thought.

You shook your loose hair from your face and tongued your busted lip, trying not to squirm under her gaze. You just had to buy yourself time. Hyunjin was already suspicious, so he would be anxious to get back to you. He would notice quickly that you were gone, if he hadn’t heard your yells for help already. They would call the authorities and find you soon.

You just had to find the right words to say – or not say – until then to keep her calm and not slapping you. Or worse.

She reached out, making you flinch, but she just grabbed your chin to move your head. “I’m prettier than you. And more talented. I love Stray Kids the most. Obviously, I should be their final member.” She was calm, like she was only stating obvious facts.

A familiar ringtone blasted from her pants. She stepped back again and you watched as she pulled your phone from her back pocket.

“You have them fooled. Hyunjin called you several times earlier when you were asleep.” She turned the phone screen to you with a name and photo flashing on it. “Now Bang Chan is calling you.”

You stay quiet, wanting nothing more right now than Bang Chans protective presence and comforting voice.

Or any of the Kids’ steady, strong presences and soothing words.

She seemed to suddenly get an idea. “You are going to come clean. Tell Bang Chan you tricked them.”

Everything in you wanted to argue that you never tricked them. Never lied to them. That the mark was real and they were your soul mates. But if you did, she would likely slap you again and not let you talk to Bang Chan. And this was likely your only chance to tell them where you were.

So, you nodded and she swiped the screen and held the phone out for you to talk. “Bang Chan?”

“Y/n! Where are you? Are you hurt?” There were multiple voices in the background and Bang Chan shushed them loudly.

You closed your eyes and soaked in the voice for a moment, as odd as it sounded over the phone speaker compared to real life. The girl poked you painfully in warning when you took too long. “Ow, fine! Bang Chan, I have to tell you something.”

“Tell me what? Who’s there with you? Where are you?”

“It’s just a staff member. She found out what I did.” You took a deep breath and hoped Bang Chan got your hints and played along. “She found out that I tricked you. Fooled you into thinking I’m your soul mate.”

There was a pause. “What do you mean?”

“I tricked you. I faked it. It’s all fake. The mark, the soul group, everything.” The lie tasted sour in your mouth and you realized that there was a chance they would believe the lie, but you couldn’t stop now. You had to trust they would understand what you were doing. You had to trust your soul mates. “I faked it, but she caught me. And now I think she is your soul mate. She is your number one fan. She has all your merchandise. Every album, every Skzoo, even a whole book of your autographs. Her apartment walls are covered. Every surface is Stray Kids.”

Excited, the girl pulled the phone away. “I even have your portraits tattooed on my thighs. I am your soul mate.” She paced as she talked, giddy with the thought they might accept her as their soul mate to replace you. “I got a job to work alongside you. I’ve been there for months not, quietly helping you. I can be so much better for you than this fake!” She kicked your chair.

“Yes, I think I’ve seen you. What is your name?” Despite you being pretty sure he was acting, hearing him talk so sweetly to your kidnapper made you jealous. It burned in your chest.

“Mina-Hee. My dad wanted an easy, meaningful name. I’ve been studying music – so I can help you create your songs!

“Mina – Hee. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Hee as in bright right?”

“That’s right! You really remember me?”

“Of course I do! It’s not often I see someone like you. You make an impression.”

You felt sick, but the girl all but forgot about you as Bang Chan got information from her and kept her distracted from you. You briefly tried to use her distraction to wiggle free of the tape but found it impossible to move even a little. And you are scared that moving too much will catch her attention again.

In the end you held still and listened to Bang Chan sweet talk the deranged girl. Even going as far as promising to announce her as the group’s true final member, something they never actually did for you. You were revealed live, so they never felt the need for an official announcement.

She picked up and started caressing a large Wolf Chan while they talked for several more long minutes. Bang Chan slowly pulling information from her like which part of the city she lived in and even what floor her apartment was on.

Long after you were able to keep track of the time that passed by there was a pounding on the front door, making both you and Mina – Hee jump.

“Is that you? Did you come to get me?” The deranged girl almost ran to the door, ripping it open to reveal what she least expected. A hallway full of police officers.

“You could never be our soul mate! It is and always will be Y/n!” Bang Chan said over the phone she still held in her hand.

She immediately ran, diving for the knife block on the counter before the officers managed to tackle her to the floor and get her cuffed.

“No! She’s a fake! A liar! She isn’t worthy of you!” The girl screamed nonsense as they dragged her away.

As soon as she was secure more officers approached you and spoke gently to you as they checked you over for injuries and worked on getting you free.

NASBF Taglist: @hannahdinse8 @fackeraccount @akela1andthebee @samve1286 @ncityswrld @rayraymylove @becrazy--beyou @danielle143 @undiagnosedillnesses @yoongina58 @junebuggz @beppybeesnuggets @wolfhallows4 @certifiedchangbinlvr @pemdasislife @applesrpeak @thatgirlangelb @azzydaddy @jizzuo308 @lyracarvahall @juju-227592 @mintchip17 @brbwritingfanfic

General Taglist @stellasays45 @beebee18 @weird-bookworm @velvetmoonlght @clairementsolo

[justastraymoa]

Chapter 3

Ch. 2 | Masterlist | Ch. 4

Warnings for swearing, talks of pets and loved ones being sick.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest. Do not repost on another site. (Reblogging is fine)

In the end you decide to leave behind everything that wasn’t already on you, or you didn’t absolutely need. It was surprisingly easy to do. You can get new clothes anywhere and you would need to anyways. Your comfy Walmart style probably wouldn’t fly anymore. And any other necessities, hairbrush, phone charger, etc could be ordered online and delivered anywhere.

Skijigi promised they would get a company to pack up your stuff and put it safely into storage. If you ever needed anything you could always go get it.

The boys were over the moon, but most of them were trying to be cool about it or were shy about it. Han outright cheered after you announced your decision. Felix and I.N both had huge ear-to-ear smiles; even Seungmin had a cute secret little smile he tried to hide.

“She is sleeping with me.” I.N announced making your brows raise in shock. They barely know your name and already I.N is trying to get you in bed.

You obviously knew he didn’t mean it sexually, but even just sharing a bed with a near stranger was scandalous!

Plus, you were fairly positive that you would not be able to sleep with any of them in the same room, let alone in the same bed.

“How come you get her?” I wanna sleep with her!” Changbin whined.

“I found her!”

“By sheer luck!”

Several other voices chimed in before Bang Chan stepped in using his leader card. “Enough. She can stay in my room. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Raising your hand, you waved sarcastically, getting everyone’s attention. “Hi, yeah, still here. Um, there is no way I’m sleeping in any of your rooms.” You began. “If the hotel doesn’t have another room available ill try another. Or sleep in my car.”

“No!” Several voices yelled at once.

“You should stay close.” Bang Chan explained before you could argue. “Everyone at the concert saw your face. I’m sure you are already all over the internet.”

True. STAY wouldn’t take long to find you. Sleeping in your car would be even less safe than usual. “Fine. Then a hotel it is. There is no way I’d get any sleep with any of you yet. I’m still pretty starstruck to be honest.” You confessed.

“You are going to need to get over it.” Seungmin said, fully judging you.

“Keep being an ass. It will help.” You replied honestly. It would help because you would be compelled to be snarky back. It was an ice breaker or sorts that would put you at ease. And you had a feeling Seungmin already knew that. He was helping in his own Seungmin way.

Warmth and hope bloomed. They all seem willing to welcome you. A couple seemed a bit shy. Accepting, but needing to get used to you. Get to know you. You could appreciate that and definitely understand it.

“She will be sleeping in I.Ns room.” Skijigi popped in, tapping away on their tablet.

I.N cheered. “Yes! I get her!”

“Skijigi, she already said she isn’t comfortable sharing a room yet.” Bang Chan protested, standing up for you without question.

“She won’t be. I.N can bunk in another room.” They informed without missing a single tap on their screen.

I.N deflated. “You’re kicking me out of my room?”

Finally, Skijigi looked up. “Think of it as an apology for cracking her back on the stage in front of the fans. That video is going to stay with her forever.”

“True. Its already trending.” Felix confirmed.

You roll your eyes. Figures your debut video would be you falling on your ass. “Yup. Your room is mine.” You didn’t even feel guilty. He has no shortage of beds to sleep in.

Damn dimple cheeked, ultra-adorable, super loved maknae. So damn hard to be mad at that freaking face.

~

Their hotel rooms were super freaking extra. Why did one person need a king-size bed anyways?

You lay in the middle of the huge bed in new pajamas freshly delivered by a friendly staff member and wondered if you would ever be able to quiet your thoughts enough to sleep.

The answer was no. Three hours later all you had managed to do was get tangled in your blankets twice and knock one of your pillows on the floor. You hadn’t even managed to feel tired yet.

Just over four hours after you said goodnight to the others, your phone rang. The same international number from earlier that you had never saved into your phone.

“Arent you supposed to be sleeping.” You said in lieu of a greeting.

“Arent you?”

“Yeah, well, I had a lot happen today. Cant seem to turn off.”

“I figured as much. You up for chatting?”

You suck in a deep breath. “Why now.”

So, the two of you exchanged questions. Yours were mostly about your new future. What would be expected of you. What your role would be.

“Don’t think too much about it. This is new to us too. What you do, how you contribute and fit in will come naturally.” Bang Chan assured you. “The more professional Stray Kids stuff we get tutors on. Let you learn slowly as you settle into the group. Then we can assess what you are and aren’t willing to do. Adding you to Stray Kids for instance. As the official ninth performer.

“I can’t sing. I’ve actually been told I’m tone deaf.”

You can learn. We all go to voice lessons.”

We will see.” You weren’t committing to anything tonight. You have made enough big decisions for now. “I just don’t want to be a burden. To be seen by STAY or anyone as some kind of gold digger or something.”

“You won’t. We will make sure of it.” He promised. He had made several promises since you met him, and you didn’t doubt he would do his best to keep them all.

His questions were all about you. Your likes, dislikes, interests, hobbies, he wanted to know it all. And he seemed genuinely interested in your boring life.

“You seemed shocked before. About finding your soul group. Why is that?”

“You mean besides the unbelievable face that my favorite k pop group is also my soul group?”

“Fate is strange like that. Maybe you were called to us, our music, because of the soul bond.”

“Maybe.” Seems as likely as any other explanation. “Though the music is epic.” You sigh and look at the mark on your ankle. Eight members of a soul bond is a lot. “I was always told growing up that eight soul mates is too many. That it’s greedy even. Warned to not get my hopes up because I would never find my group.”

“They were wrong. We found you. We found each other. In a crowd of thousands.”

You don’t remember falling asleep, or even closing your eyes. One second you were talking with Bang Chan, the next you were being woken up by a louder voice over the phone waking Bang Chan up.

He stayed on the phone with you after you fell asleep and had ended up sleeping himself, eventually. The call ticking away in the meantime.

He mumbled and groaned over the line as the sounds of moving and what you assumed was stretching reached your ear.

“Oh hey, its Y/n! Good morning, Y/n, time to get up.” Seungmin got louder as he stole the phone from his Hyung.

“I hate you.” You grumble, eyes still heavy with sleep and not feeling very cheery.

“Don’t try and seduce me so early in the morning. We don’t have time; we have a schedule.”

You roll your eyes and groan loudly before ending the call as he chuckled at your reaction. Menace puppy.

One delivery of a new outfit and one borrowed bad for your handful of stuff later and you were ushered into an airport taxi. Officially leaving your old life behind and starting something new. Something great and terrifying.

~

The company granted the group a grand total of 2 days off to spend however they wanted. You, however, would be meeting various instructors and trainers. All brought on to teach you the intricacies of being an idol in a very short time.

Things like being natural on camera, talking on camera, diction, what to say and what not to say, even how to properly sit or stand.

And when they got back from their days off Stray Kids had new music to record and choreograph.

From what it sounded like, the boys were all going to stay, claiming to use the time off to get to know you.

“I’m starting my lessons right away, so I wont even be around. You might as well go visit your families or whatever.” You knew how little time they had off and you did not want them to waste it. “Don’t stay for me.”

“You sure you don’t mind? We really should be getting to know you.” Lee Know asked, looking conflicted.

You had overheard him telling Han about a recent health scare Dor had had and you knew he was anxious to go and see his babies. You didn’t blame him. It had to be hard to be so far away when a loved one is sick.

“I require at lease three level five cute photos of the cats and one video with meows. As tax.” You half joke.

“I will do my best. Thank you, Y/n.” Freed from the guilt of leaving, he quickly left to make arrangements.

Bang Chan rubbed his hands together. “Well, I’m staying. I’ve got too much to do.”

“Plus, the flight to Australia is too long. It wouldn’t be worth it.” Felix added.

Hyunjin mumbled something about a place he wanted to visit, Han said he would stay and help Bang Chan, and the others dispersed to visit family and friends.

That left you secretly feeling very anxious about your upcoming lessons. You think you are a quick learner, and hopefully you will be able to keep up.

Only really got one opinion on the cover photo so ill use it on this chapter and kinda play it by ear.

General Taglist @stellasays45 @beebee18 @weird-bookworm @velvetmoonlght @clairementsolo

NASBF Taglist: @hannahdinse8 @fackeraccount @akela1andthebee @samve1286 @ncityswrld @rayraymylove @becrazy--beyou @danielle143 @undiagnosedillnesses @yoongina58 @junebuggz @beppybeesnuggets @wolfhallows4 @certifiedchangbinlvr @pemdasislife

[justastraymoa]

Chapter 9

Ch. 8 | Masterlist | Ch. 10

Warnings for mentions or trauma and kidnapping, fear, going nonverbal, feelings of guilt, self blaming, angst, hurt, comfort.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest. Do not repost on another site. (Reblogging is fine)

The hospital wouldn’t allow visitors until after the authorities asked all their questions and doctors cleared it. No matter how much you begged, they wouldn’t even let you call them. No contact at all, though you knew they were nearby. Probably just as anxious to see you as you were to see them.

You were most anxious to see Hyunjin because you know he is blaming himself. But it’s not his fault. The fault lies with the girl – Mina – Hee. No one else could have known what would happen. Not even you, who blindly trusted that the staff were fully vetted and safe.

The police told you that you were missing for just over five hours before she answered Bang Chans call and gave them what they needed. Before then they had no choice but to slowly comb through every person there and any surveillance footage they had. Questioning everyone about anything they saw or heard.

Meaning, if you and Bang Chan hadn’t played pretend with the queen of crazy you might have spent several more hours waiting on rescue. They praised your quick thinking and Bang Chan catching on as quickly as he did and getting the information to them.

You ended up being discharged before they cleared anyone to come visit you. The police had already finished their interview and gave you a number to call if you thought of anything else.

“Your soul mates have been waiting rather impatiently in the waiting room down the hall. I’m sure they will be very relieved to see you.” The nurse handling your discharge paperwork informed you. “If you develop any symptoms later come back to get checked out.” Thankfully, the irritation from the chemical was only a mild red patch where it touched your skin. It would be annoying for a couple days but go away within a week.

When you got close enough to the waiting room you could see all of them and you took a second to take them all in, emotions you weren’t expecting overflowing. They were loud, even in a hospital. You couldn’t really tell if they were really arguing or just argue venting at each other to deal with their emotions and frustrations. Maybe it was a bit of both.

Hyunjin was standing by the window, staring out and restlessly bouncing a leg. Seungmin was over on one side pestering Changbin. They were the source of the arguing. Felix sat leaning up against Hyunjin slightly, offering him a bit of tactile comfort. Lee Know and Han were twisted together watching videos on their phones. I.N was watching Seungmin and Changbin yell at each other, instigating where he could. Bang Chan sat closest to the entrance, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. His hair looked like he had been pulling on it for hours.

Like he sensed he was being watched, Bang Chan loo9ked up at you. He almost leaped to his feet as soon as his brain registered that it was you.

He gently grabbed your face, eyes catching every bruise blossoming on it. “Are you okay?” He whispered, voice cracked with emotion.

“I was drugged, kidnapped, and slapped around. Then I had to listen to you sweet talk the person who did all those things to be for a very long time. I am so very far from okay.” You answer, surprised at the venom the words carried. Apparently, the jealousy hadn’t subsided yet, irrational as it is.

Despite your venom he pulled you into a hug so big it engulfed your entire body and folded it into his. “I promise the only truthful thing I said to her was the very last thing.”

You thought back to the chaos and overwhelming relief of the end of your nightmare. “You could never be our soul mate! It is and always will be Y/n!” His final words to her were declaring you their soul mate now and forever.

You let your whole body sag into him on an exhale, releasing all your stored up tension. Your fingers tangled in the back of his shirt as you gripped it tight in your fists and felt a sob fight its way free.

He squeezed you tighter. “I know you were scared. We were too. But you were so brave and so smart.” He praised as you heard the others join you two. “We would have taken much longer to find you if you hadn’t tricked her.”

Later you would tell him he also saved you by catching on and playing along. Later you would praise his ability to get information out of her. Much more than you were able to. But right now, you just wanted to be held and cry. You wanted to just be warm and safe.

“What happened? We didn’t get many details from anyone?” Han asked.

You just shook your head and buried your face deeper into Bang Chans chest. Your brain and body did not want to talk. The thought of having to form more coherent words seems impossibly hard and not worth it. You had just talked for who knows how long. Telling and retelling what happened to doctors, nurses, and multiple police officers conducting their investigations. Then there was the company investigator doing an internal review of the situation. It was too much. You couldn’t fathom forcing yourself to answer Hans question.

“Are you okay?” I.N asked and you felt another hand on your back.

Again, you don’t answer, not able to find the willpower to make your mouth move, it felt glued shut. Tongue too heavy to form words like it usually did. Instead, you stayed firmly in Bang Chans chest.

Bang Chan scratched lightly at your scalp. “Don’t wanna talk, hun?” He asked gently. When you didn’t answer, he correctly took that as confirmation.

Bending a bit awkwardly, he picked you up. Holding you up with one arm around your back and the other under your butt. You would store this away to marvel at later. “Let’s get you home.” He declared.

~

Bang Chan released you long enough for you to shower off the hospital and change into an oversized shirt and a pair of shorts. He was waiting for you just outside the bathroom when you were done. He had to of left at some point because he was also in different clothes. A soft black shirt and a pair of red basketball shorts that both looked very comfortable.

“Better?” He asked.

You just looked at him, not even able to find the ability to physically answer his question. It still felt like too much. Too heavy. He gave you an understanding look when you remain silent.

“Take your time.” He said running a finger over a bruised cheek.

Movement caught your eye and you saw a flash of long dark hair. Hyunjin was anxiously lurking around in your peripheral areas.

“He blames himself pretty hard.” Bang Chan explained following your gaze. “Called us in such a state I couldn’t tell if he was more panicked or angry.”

“He definitely owes a couple security guards an apology. He was very tyrannical for a while.” Lee Know stated as he came over with a mug of steaming tea. “This should at least help keep you warm.” He held the mug up to his face and blew on it a couple of times before giving it to you. “Sometimes you can feel cold after an experience like yours.”

You sipped at the hot liquid, surprised when it was pleasant tasting instead of bitter like you had expected. The taste and warmth were cozy. Made you think of sitting in front of a cackling fireplace. A soft blanket and purring cat on your lap.

With a contented sigh you let yourself fall forward a bit so your head clunked on his shoulder. He scuffed up your freshly washed and brushed hair.

“Silly girl. Finding trouble and making us worry.” He teased you lightly.

Opening your mouth wide you bit his shoulder in retaliation, causing him to overdramatically whine.

“Alright you two. Its late and we’ve all had an exhausting day.” Bang Chan gently chastised effectively telling everyone to go to bed.

Lee Know seemed to agree. He scuffed your hair one more time and kissed the rats nest he left behind before heading to his room. You glanced Han already in the room, ready to sleep. Waiting for Lee Know on his bed a book in his hand.

Bang Chan led you past your door and to his. His bed looked and smelled freshly made. Helping you into it, he pulled the blankets over you, tucking you in snuggly.

You watched him silently, feeling warm and awake. And like something was missing, but you couldn’t place what. You needed something or you would never be able to let yourself sleep.

Bang Chan paced around the room, going through what seemed like a nightly routine. Finally, he turned off the bright overhead light, leaving only a single dim lamp on his bedside table on. He gathered up his laptop before climbing into bed behind you, settling in to get some work done.

Your back was pressed against his leg. The light clacking of keyboard keys and clicking of his mouse were comforting noises filling the silence as you laid there fully awake but exhausted at the same time.

A shadow under the crack of the door caught your attention. It crossed back and forth several times before pausing in the middle for several minutes. Two shadows, two feet. Then they shuffled before there was one larger shadow near the middle. Hyunjin had finally sat down on the floor against the door, still hovering around you. Not even able to make himself enter the room with you.

You struggle in your blanket burrito, kicking and fighting to get your arms and legs free.

“Y/n? You okay?” What do you need?” Bang Chan asked.

Finally free you pad over to the door and open it. Hyunjin, who was leaning on the door, fell backwards onto the floor at your feet.

You expected him to scramble to his feet, muttering an excuse or apology at being caught stalking you. Maybe even running away. Instead, he blinked at you for several seconds before slowly sitting up and spinning so he faced you. He stared at the floor and looked small, fiddling anxiously with his fingernails.

You sigh through your nose and hold out a hand to him, palm up. He glanced at it before looking up at you in question. You wiggle your fingers and raise your brows at him. You weren’t going to take no for an answer.

When he finally took your hand, you gently helped him up and over to the bed where Bang Chan sat watching you. You tuck Hyunjin in where you were previously laying, patting his hair and kissing his head as he watched you with wide eyes. Completely compliant to you.

Next you move on to Bang Chan. Tugging his laptop out of his hands and setting it aside and safely out of the way.

“I need to finish.” Bang Chan protested lightly, but he didn’t fight you as you got him laid down next to Hyunjin and bundled up. “What about you?” He asked as you kissed his forehead.

In response you grab a throw blanket and crawl over Bang Chan to wedge yourself into the small space between the two men. Wiggling a little to force more room and get comfortable. Bang Chan chucked behind you.

Comfortable and satisfied, you managed to fall asleep quickly.

NASBF Taglist: @hannahdinse8 @fackeraccount @akela1andthebee @samve1286 @ncityswrld @rayraymylove @becrazy--beyou @danielle143 @undiagnosedillnesses @yoongina58 @junebuggz @beppybeesnuggets @wolfhallows4 @certifiedchangbinlvr @pemdasislife @applesrpeak @thatgirlangelb @azzydaddy @jizzuo308 @lyracarvahall @juju-227592 @mintchip17 @brbwritingfanfic @hyunjinstolemyheart

General Taglist @stellasays45 @beebee18 @weird-bookworm @velvetmoonlght @clairementsolo

[justastraymoa]

Chapter 4

Ch. 3 | Masterlist | Ch. 5

Warnings for needles, abuse, medical needles, angst, caring soulmates, worry, blood mentioned, eating disorders, medical disorders, swearing, mental abuse, name calling, fat triggers, im not a medical professional do not take any of this as advice.

Nothing within reflects anyone or anything irl. Pics off pinterest. Do not repost on another site. (Reblogging is fine)

Turns out your first lesson is on social media. Specifically deleting every trace of your current profiles and curating new ones with a fancy official blue check mark at the end of your username.

As you predicted STAY found you in less than a day, bombarding your DMs and comments. Your instructor sighed heavily in disappointment. “I’d hoped you would have been smart enough to delete these on your own. I will have to lower my expectations of you in the future.” He said as he scrolled through your content to find anything potentially damaging.

You rolled your eyes. “If I deleted them, how would you be able to go through them?” You challenged.

He rapped your knuckles hard with his stylus. “Don’t roll your eyes and don’t talk back!”

You gasped in pain and pulled your hands back to cradle them to your chest, glaring at the man.

“Don’t glare.” He stood to start pacing. “You are the weak link of Stray Kids, and your only job is to make sure you don’t drag them down any more than you already do just by existing.”

“I’m trying. I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Yes. You are. You are here to learn to be soft, demure. Seen and not heard. A Pretty thing for Stray Kids to show off at events.” He still paced as he talked. “You need to learn to be agreeable and obedient.”

Your brows scrunched together. “None of that sounds like what Stray Kids is all about.”

The man hit you on the side of the head hard. “Don’t make ugly faces.” He snapped harshly.

“Will you stop hitting me!”

“Pay attention and stop making mistakes and you won’t get hit.” He grabbed your chin tightly. “You are in a different world now and you will obey the rules.”

You blinked rapidly and nodded, heart racing.

Your next instructor was on image, and she was so much worse than your first one. She stuck you with dress pins every time you messed up, leaving tiny drops of blood.

She poked, pulled, and prodded at you, pointing out every flaw and flabby area. “You are fat. You make Stray Kids look bad just by standing next to them!”

She then proceeded to have a trainer put you through the hardest workout of your life while outlining a very strict, very limited diet for you.

One instructor after another proceeded to scold, insult, hit, and generally make you feel like shit about yourself until finally Bang Chan and Han came to pick you up.

“You look exhausted.” Han pointed out.

Remembering your very harsh lessons, you quickly did your best to erase all signs of exhaustion from your features and replace it with only a pleasant smile. “Not at all. I had a very educational day. How was yours?”

Han raised a brown, but moved on, going into detail on what they worked on.

As he spoke you wondered if you could go through another day like today. If you were going to be strong enough for this new life you chose.

Your body stung from the pin pricks, muscles ached from the workout, bruises throbbed from being hit. And this was just day one.

Not just physical. Being told repeatedly all day long that you were fat, ugly, dumb, a burden, it took its toll on you mentally and left you truly feeling more hurt and emptier than you ever remember feeling before.

“So, your room is ready. Its kinda small unfortunately. It was actually the laundry room.” Bang Chan explained, looking embarrassed. “We never use it. Most of our clothes are luxury so we use a laundry service. I’m sorry, we didn’t have anywhere else.” He did look genuinely apologetic.

You smiled wider. “I am grateful for whatever you are willing to give me.” You assure him not feeling one way or another about the room. It is only a room for sleeping, as long as there was a bed, that’s all you needed.

But Bang Chan looked confused. “Willing to give? Y/n, are you okay?”

You just nod and quickly change the subject.

~

The next day was more or the same.

And the day after.

More bruises, more feelings of inadequacy. Or being a burden. Your current events teacher painted a very vivid picture of exactly how you personally would be the downfall of Stray Kids. It had you in tears in a bathroom stall for ten minutes before you could pull yourself together again.

It didn’t help that you were starving from your new diet and in so much pain from the intense workouts multiple times a day.

And now that everyone was back from their time off, they were extremely busy prepping and creating their new album. Between your schedule and theirs you only ever saw each other in passing or when one or two of them came to pick you up after your last class.

There seemed to be an agreement to not let you leave the security of home or the company without at least one of them. They dropped you off at your first lesson and picked you up after your last every day. Without fail. It was the only time you really got to see any of them.

This morning was harder than usual. It was…day five? You think. It was all blurring together. But this morning you really didn’t feel good. Weak in the legs and lightheaded. Your arms and hands felt shaky and lightheaded on top of it all.

You grab the protein drink you made last night before bed and sat at the counter, sipping at it and laying your head on the smooth cool surface of the counter to ground yourself.

You didn’t even react when there were suddenly strong hands on your neck and back, kneading at the sore muscles they found there. You mumbled something resembling “Morning, Felix.” Into the granite counter, mentally flinching at the hit you no doubt would have gotten from your instructor for mumbling and not sitting up properly.

“Little tired this morning?” He asked digging into a stubborn knot painfully. You grunt in answer and in pain.

One hand left your back to gently take yours from around your protein drink. “You’re shaking. Are you okay?” He rubbed at your clammy fingers.

“Who’s shaking?” Changbin asked. You could hear him moving around the kitchen.

You sat up. “I’m fine. It’s low sugar. It will go away in a few minutes.” You reassure them.

“The protein will help, but we should take your blood sugar anyways, to be safe.”

He pulled a black zipped pouch from the cupboard. You resist the urge to groan.

Felix patted at your hair as Changbin pricked your middle finger and fed your blood to the little glucose strip. Some of the others filtered in as you waited for the final number.

Hyunjin Quietly pushed your protein drink closer, urging you to drink. You did obediently.

“Good lord. Fifty-six. You may need more than just a protein drink.” Changbin warned showing the room the bold black numbers.

“Why so low, hun? Are you eating properly?” Bang Chan asked patting back your hair.

“Don’t worry guys. I’m following the dieticians prescribed diet to a ‘T’. Its only low because I just woke up.” You promised, not wanting them to worry about you when they already have so much on their plates. You were enough of a burden as it is. “Worry about yourselves. Lee Know, you didn’t get back until early this morning. Make sure you are getting enough sleep.”

As you spoke you gathered your things for the day. Being careful not to let any aches or pains you irritate show on your face.

You were right. By the time your first lesson of the day started the shakes and lightheadedness had subsided some. You still weren’t feeling the best though. Heavy and weak. Generally aching all over, but nothing you couldn’t push through. Not that your instructors would let you take the day off or even take it easy for a day.

Just after midday you were working on online etiquette when you glanced up to see Seungmin watching you through the window. You give him a small smile and a wave, earning a whack from the instructor’s ruler. Adding another harsh red mark to your already flaming biceps.

“Pay attention! You are already ruining Stray Kids future, the least you can do is try and minimize the damage!” He gave you another sharp slap. “Don’t think we didn’t notice that extra protein drink your fat ass snuck earlier. Your trainer has an extra hard, extra long workout planned for you this afternoon.”

“I’m still within my calories for the day.” You argue. No way would you make it through a harder, longer workout. Not today. “My blood sugar was low this morning and I was trying to get it back up.”

Two more quick slaps, making you flinch and curl in on yourself. “Excuses! You are far from being in danger of starvation. You shouldn’t even be associated with Stray Kids at this size, let alone anyone letting your ugly fat self on a camera with them!”

The door opened and Seungmin entered with a dark look on his face. You forgot he was there and he just witnessed you fuck up like seven times in a row. Great.

“Sorry to interrupt, I came to pick up Y/n. We need her in the studio this afternoon.” He explained reaching for you and pulling you up.

The instructor looked displeased. “She is no where near a point where she can afford to miss lessons.”

Seungmin shrugged and wrapped an arm around you, drawing you closer to him and steering you to the door. “Take it up with Chan if you want.” He challenged before you both left.

He was silent as you walked. And you had the building desire to break it somehow. “I’m sorry. I promise I am trying.”

Almost absently he pulled you closer and kissed the top of your head making you blush furiously all the way to your chest. “I know you are.” He assured you.

You swallow hard still worried. He still seemed pissed at you. And he was taking you directly to Bang Chan. You are so fucked. Would they send you away? You didn’t have a job or a place to stay; you didn’t know what you would do. You don’t even think you had enough money for a ticket back!

“You really don’t need to bother Bang Chan. I’ll go back. I’ll work harder.” You tried to bargain with him as you began dragging your feet to buy you more time.

He paused, looking at you. “You aren’t in trouble because of your lessons. That’s not why I’m pissed.”

“Why are you pissed?” You were afraid to find out, but you couldn’t fix it if you didn’t know what you did wrong. “I’ll fix it if you tell me what I did wrong.”

Seungmin ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Chan is better at this. He has more experience and better words.” He huffed and looked back the way you had come. “I know we are still getting to know each other. It’s just…you didn’t tell us.”

You gesture around you. “Of course I didn’t! I didn’t want you to know how badly I was messing up!”

He firmly but gently grabbed your now bruising arm. Visible because you had been hot earlier and took off your sweatshirt. The material did little against the strikes anyways. They just used something bigger or hit harder in order to make the same impact. You still wore long sleeves of some sort though, just to cover the evidence of your mistakes. “This is not okay! No one should be doing this!”

Without waiting for you to respond he started dragging you along again. Heading to Bang Chan.

Bang Chan and Changbin were in the middle of recording but stopped as soon as they took the two of you in. “What happened?” BangChan immediately went into protective mode.

“Are those bruises?” Changbin asked leaving the recording booth.

Bang Chans eyes immediately tracked the visible purple marks on your arms. Understanding immediately lit his eyes. “I should have known.” He sighed mostly to himself. “Is this why you were sick this morning?”

You shook your head. “I’m okay. This morning was low blood sugar.”

“I went to check on her because she wasn’t feeling well and the teacher hit her multiple times and called her fat.” Seungmin informed. “Mentioned a diet and an extra hard work out.”

“I had an extra protein drink I have to work off.”

“After having extremely low blood sugar. And they were going to punish you for it.” Seungmin pointed out. “You should have heard the awful things he said. Lies about how she is bringing us down and how we don’t want her on camera with us.”

“Okay, okay. Y/n, come here.” Bang Chan gently pulled you to the seat next to him, coaxing you to sit so he could meet your eyes. His thumbs rubbed at the back of your hands. “You have not, are not, and will not ever drag us down. You are not a burden. And we are so excited to have you on camera with us. STAYs reaction to you has been overwhelmingly positive.”

Changbin rested a hand on your shoulder and handed you a granola bar. “And you do not need to diet. Or kill yourself working out. You are perfect as is.” He reassured you, not missing the pained flinch you couldn’t suppress in time.

“I understand why you didn’t tell us. We’ve all been busy with our own things and Asian culture has its…harsher stereotypes. But this is not normal and it is not okay.” He held up your bruised arms, looking heartbroken. No one should ever hit you for any reason.”

You nodded in understanding, feeling embarrassed.

“She can’t go back to those instructors.” Seungmin declared.

“I’ll take care of the instructors. And you have learned enough to get a good start. We can teach you from here on out as you need it.” Bang Chan unwrapped the granola bar and handed it back to you when you didn’t move to, gesturing for you to eat.

Torn between obedience that has been drilled into you and the diet you had desperately clung to for a week, you still hesitated, looking unsurely at the food in your hand.

“Eat!” Seungmin snapped impatiently making you jump.

“Seungmin, give her a minute. We have all been in her shoes before. We know the mental barriers and hurdles.” Bang Chan reminded the younger man.

Changbin kneeled in front of you gently and softly covered your smaller hands in his larger warm ones. “I promise you are breaking any rules by eating this. You eat to nourish your body and be healthy.” He met your gaze and squeezed your hands. “No matter what anyone has told you, please believe me when I tell you, you are not fat.”

You took a deep breath to brace yourself before quickly taking a bite. The sweet honey flavor burst over your tongue and sent sparks of delight in your brain.

And as you chewed and watched them all fill with relief, you decided on your role within the group.

Throughout your time as STAY, a common worry amongst you and others was that the boys weren’t taking care of themselves during their busy schedules. The boys often say they are tired or stressed. And you often wondered if they had skipped meals too.

Now that you were here and you had the opportunity and the means you resolved to make sure they did take care of themselves. And also relieve STAYs worry as well.

How hard could it be to wrangle eight grown, dedicated, hardworking, and stubborn men into doing basic necessities and taking care of their minds and bodies?

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