#nasyirah

[aviciigirl95]

#andika #nasyirah #me #jp_student #pasaria #PoliteknikKuchingSarawak

[nasyirahdiyana-blog-blog]

Ramblings;

I feel so evil for doing that but at the same time im relieved.

They asked me out and i didnt even bother to reply. (the outing was today so yeahits over)

 I just dont want to lie and say to them i have something on. so i decided to not reply. hm. I just dont want to hear excuses. and then i'll have to say: oh it's okay. i understand. and fake a smile and pretend it doesnt matter. and hear their stories which all of them know except me.  i dont want to get hurt by that.

i dont really care anymore.

I guess im a hypocite. They considered me as their friends,(tho not as close as before) and in everyone's eyes... we are bestfriends. but we're not. Not anymore.   And this is how i treat them and feel about them. it has become so bad that i dont want to meet them. ya allah. kenapa sampai macam gini.?! T^T Im a hypocrite. i felt relieved whenever i returned home frm an outing with them. relieved that at last ,im not with them. no need to fake and pretend im okay with everything.

i dont even want them to know how i feel. i dont even want them to know what's happening in my life rn.

Im selfish. yeah i admit that. 

I simply dont care about anything anymore. 

Ive become emotionless. 

[nasyirahdiyana-blog-blog]

All i ever wanted is to make an impact on someone life. To make a big impact to the point that if i disappear, i'll leave a hole in that person's heart. Just one person is enough. To be unforgotten and be remembered. To live on in someone's memories.