#nat headcanons

[softlymaximoff]

I am down in the dumps atm so please enjoy with me. We are writing Angsty Natasha blurbs…again…

It starts off with little comments, Tony’s attitude, Wanda’s avoidance, Clint’s gentle reprimands, Maria’s silent judgment asking if she’s okay and Natasha cant take it. It’s loud, chaotic and so fucking messy in her head. She’d just come back from a mission with Steve about a week ago and she begged fury to let her on it. It was an intel mission about possible leads to a new underground child trafficking corporation and Natasha was adamant she’d be fine and was the right fit. I mean she does have a convincing history given her upbringing was quite literally a trafficked and brainwashed child turned assassin.

There was a girl, a small one in particular that hadn’t spoken a word when her and Steve invaded their sleazy bunker of children. She had no name, she was a number. Printed onto every piece of clothing she’d seen the girl wear was a number she’d never forget, it was hers. The odds were a one in a billion of this child having the same number Natasha had all those years ago. So, Natasha did what she does best when she locks up, she fled. She left the scene. Let Steve deal with the remaining children as she went to take out the army of guards, shoving her partner roughly and mumbling a stone cold “you deal with the rest” and left no room for argument as she ran towards their enemies.

The children were sent to a rehabilitation centre funded and monitored by SHIELD as the two returned and regrouped with the rest of the team. Natasha hadn’t said a word. A few nods and hums but that was it. It was no surprise to the team that she’d come back like this, they were even prepared for it so no one pressed her for answers. Until a week later when Steve approached her in the near empty common room and tried to talk to her about it. “That girl, you knew her?” He questioned softly and sucked in a breath when the widow shot him a glare. “No.” Was all she said, so he tried again. “Hey look, we both know that somewhere in the middle of the mission something triggered you. I know you don’t like opening up but-” he tried to reason and she pushed past him. “Fuck off Rogers. How I deal with missions both during and post doesn’t concern you” she growled and marched down the hallway towards the elevators, pressing the buttons to go up to her quarters. She just needed to keep her walls up long enough to make it to her room.

“Nat wait-” Steve called out after her but she was already in the elevator, glaring at him until the doors closed. That’s when she broke. Not a loud cry, or a whimpering mess, just a steady silent cry. Vision blurry, slight stutter in her breathing and the smallest hiccup every now and then. The elevator ride didn’t take long and she was fortunate to exit it without coming face to face with another person. Quick and calculated steps lead her to her room, locking the door shut as soon as she stepped inside. She didn’t make a scene, didn’t throw herself on the bed or cry in the shower, she simply slid down the door and hugged her knees.

No matter how many times she tells herself that she got lucky and extremely fortunate to be a part of a team that protects and saves the world, she will always be that little girl with the number on her clothes and a stolen identity.

[born-to-be-mischievous]

I have a headcanon that if she was alive, and 'Rogers the Musical' was ever made into a movie, Natasha would play herself. It'd be under an alias and claim she wasn't the actual spy, but it would be her. Even on a day where the actual Avengers showed up, she would keep pretending she wasn't herself and probably make Clint regret it when he made comments about Natasha to 'her actress' about how she was probably too busy hiding in a vent to actually visit the set, or other things that she'd make Clint pay for later.

// EVERYONE WRITE THIS DOWN BECAUSE IT 100% HAPPENED

[yikesforever]

✨ what do you think a normal lazy day in looks like for steve and bucky

headcanon: well even on a given day steve is an over protective asshole and doesn’t let bucky do basically anything. but in his defense in his defense bucky never let him do anything back in the day. “but you were 90 pounds soaking wet and getting in a fight with every person you made eye contact with steve! you were bound to fall over dead if i didn’t stop you now and again.” steve wasn’t impressed with bucky’s answer

but their lazy days now actually resemble the lazy days of the forties. bucky would curl up with a book and steve would quietly sketch him. howver back then steve would sit on the other side of the room to get all of bucky in the sketch, not becasue he couldn’t control himself around his best friend, “it was illegal (!!!) back then buck”. bucky would usually be rereading one of the books that he “accidentally” stole from the library. he didn’t tell steve… steve wouldve made him save up for the fee that he had wracked up after all those years. 

now bucky lays his head on one of steve’s legs while the other leg is proping up his sketch pad to get all the details just right on bucky’s face. he like’s bucky’s long hair because it gives him more to draw “and more to pull in the bedroom” bucky nonchalantly  threatened to shot clint at that comment (clint backed off cause bucky would). 

they sometimes have music playing in the background to catch up on what they missed, but they both prefer when they can have the windows open and just have the going ons of new york be their soundtrack for the afternoon

headcanons + mini blogrates

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[softlymaximoff]

Angsty Headcanons I think about with Nat again.

She’s a quiet reserve. Doesn’t let anyone know she’s sick, wounded, sensitive to particular smells or allergic to things.

Sleeps with a gun taped up under her bed already loaded and has to always perimeter check her room three times no matter how many times Tony’s updated security.

Will not be the first one to sit at the table for a common dinner, she’s been in too many situations to know you become an easy target.

Her panic attacks always make her turn to speaking in Russian/ heavy Russian dialogue for a few days after.

Refuses to watch any gore movies, too many memories. Horror is fine to an extent but it’s a hard no for anything involving gore.

Her nightmares literally paralyse her. She’ll wake up without a scream or a cry, just a jolt and instant freeze. She has no fight or flight in the most vulnerable moments, she just has freeze. Body locking up, shallow and unregulated breaths, distant eyes, pupils blown.

Any time she catches herself in the mirror and her scar from Bucky is visible she’ll trace her fingers over it like it’ll come to life again and her breath would hitch and she’d experience Rubatosis

She actually doesn’t like the colour red, she likes black and emerald. Red remind her too much of the blood on her hands. Emerald reminds her of Yelena.

Every now and then she’ll sit on the compound rooftop with her legs dangling over. A conscious choice she can take control of. No further questions.

She’s an exceptional well rounded assassin, her biggest insecurity, yet her whole identity. Often times she’ll mutter to herself “what am I” not “who” because she doesn’t see herself as a person, only a weaponised number.

Doesn’t like Wanda. Cannot and will not get over an unstable threat younger than her playing with her mind so easily like that. Won’t associate with Wanda, won’t be civil with her and will not let herself be paired up working with Wanda.

Clint is the only one she allows to patch her up on missions, no med bay with Cho, no Bruce with injections. No one but Clint. He’s the only one to have seen the small widow symbol branded on her upper left rib.

[born-to-be-mischievous]

Can you tell us a bit about Nat's phone? Her background? Any widgets? Her favorite apps? Her last texts to people?

// Here we go!

Background: definitely a picture of Liho she took

Widgets: Email, Google Calendar, weather, and world clocks

Favorite apps: UberEats, Amazon, Planta (so she remembers to water her houseplants), Spotify, and Instagram

Top Contacts: Husband 🦅, Boyfriend 🏹, Baby Daddy 🦾, Lulu (the baby) 👶, Coulson 📁

Last Text: [Text: Boyfriend 🏹] I think I might take you up on the putty arrow offer.

[yikesforever]

do you think steve would ever get bucky one of those shirts that would be like 'if lost return to steve' and steve would have one saying 'im steve'

I think Natasha had gotten a pair for her and Clint after they went on a trip and disappeared every 12 seconds. But the best part was she didn’t tell Clint that that’s what the shirt said. She just said ‘put this on’ and she threw the shirt at him. And being Clint he just shrugged and put on the t shirt. Three people returned him to Natasha before he asked what his shirt said, he thought it was funny.

Once Bucky saw Clint wearing it he knew Steve would try to buy one for him. He didn’t disappear as often as Clint, he was just harder to find with all his … training.

So about 2 weeks later Steve is looking for Bucky announcing that he has a present for his boyfriend. Bucky rolls his eyes from the ceiling where he is currently hiding. Well he was just doing a sweep but now he doesn’t want to come down because he knows Steve got him the fucking shirt.

But Steve proves that cell phones are no match for assassin training as Bucky’s phone blared out the generic apple ringtone from above Steve’s head. Now it’s his turn to roll his eyes and he goes to stand by Bucky’s point of exit. He comes out only moments later hanging his head cause he knows he isn’t supposed to hide from Steve. Therapy and all that.

But Steve can’t seem to care he is too excited about the ‘if lost please return to Steve’ shirt. “Hi Buck, I got a present for you!” Steve gives Bucky his best puppy dog eyes as he hands over the brown paper bag with the shirt in it.

While he is opening it Bucky inquires “Stevie where the hell am I even supposed to where this shirt. We are literally always together.” Which makes Steve smile even more cause of course he has plan for the shirt.

“That’s the best part, where going back to Coney Island because 10 bucks says that I won’t throw up on the cyclone now.” Bucky beams right back at the blonde because fuck does he want to go to Coney Island again. Now they won’t have to worry about money or trying to pretend like he isn’t head over heels for his scrawny best friend. “But you can only go if you wear the shirt” Steve says as Bucky is making mental plans for what they are gonna ride first.

Bucky let’s out a dramatic sigh and says “fine but only because I love” he leans up slightly to give Steve a quick kiss before he finishes “Coney Island”. And he takes the present and bolts because he knows- he knows Steve was expecting him to say you.

[yikesforever]

For the Blogrates/headcanons: Bucky stays up at night watching Steve sleep once they both have a minute to just be together. Sometimes, it takes him forever to wrap his head around the idea that Steve is with him and that they are both safe.

headcanon: well at first bucky doesn’t think it’s a good idea for he and steve to move in together. but sam seemed to think it would be “good for barnes’ healing process if y’all lived together” bucky had rolled his eyes at that but when steve asked him he couldn’t say no. rogers pulled out the puppy dog eyes and bucky didn’t want to disappoint him (steve’s already been disappointed enough by him)

so for the first few months bucky slept on the couch and steve would try not to hover. bucky’s body seemed to be needing to recuperate and he would sleep for 12-14 hours a day and with the serum steve only needed like 4. but once bucky could sleep enough as a normal person he decided he’d move to the bedroom that steve had left for him to use (in reality he didn’t use it at first because he didn’t feel like he deserved the soft bed, but sam was able to correct that thought).

it wasn’t till late on january night that bucky noticed how fucking cold an empty bed is, he would get flash backs of sharing a bed with a little blond man to ‘conserve body heat’ it didn’t take him long to realize it was steve. that they would share a bed to fight off the cold bite of the winter air. for a week bucky lied awake, because he was cold and knew he was missing out on something (someone) in his bed. he said something to steve about it being cold and steve just turned up the thermistat not wanting to cross a line. 

eventually bucky got fed up and decided to go to steve’s room, he knew the blond was still awake either drawing or reading, or more likely over thinking. steve was looking at the door before bucky even appeared “my bed is too cold still” steve looked like he was about to say something before bucky walked to the other side of the bed “can we share like we used to ‘back in the day’?” steve gave him a fond smile and pulled back the covers for bucky to get into the bed. they laid side by side and steve turned off the light and said night buck. 

the continued to share a bed and got closer and closer in their sleep until bucky unconsciously wrapped his arms and legs around steve like he used to. he just listens to steve breathing, healthy and normal and slow until they both fall asleep. it’s not exactly how it was back in the forties with the pair being almost the same size and steve now radiating heat like a furnace when ever they cuddled, but they were both alive, and together and bucky never thought he’d get the life he had always wanted with steve.

headcanons + mini blogrates

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[yikesforever]

✨ gimme the dirt on clintasha

headcanon: one time natasha tried to stop clint from drinking so much coffee by tricking him into drinking other things. But clint saw right thru her, when he took the first sip. tony had sworn clint wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference, but clint did it. so clint didn’t talk to nat for like a week and a half, they live together. so this pissed natasha the fuck off because “clint you can’t just fucking ignore me I was trying to make you live forever” (everyone knew clints fantasy was supposed to live forever). but he still refused to talk or even look at natasha 

that is until one night he had a nightmare and couldn’t seem to shake it. so its like 3am when he wonders into the kitchen to make some coffee and he sees nat sitting there sipping her own coffee. she doesn’t bother to look up, she knows its clint getting coffee. and then all of clints anger towards her for trying to stop him from drinking coffee slips away as nat offers him some of hers. he mumbles a thanks and finishes off the cup before laying his head on her shoulder and closing his eyes. neither of them said anything, they didn’t need to cause even if clint loved coffee he loves nat more and thats all that realy matters

headcanons + mini blogrates

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