A/N: I was inspired to write this & drew this story line from the videos of Harry performing ‘Kiwi’ at Radio City Music Hall last September. (videos are linked in my masterlist & found under the “Sparks Fly” tag)
feedback is always welcomeeee :)
“Talia, they said no to ‘Kiwi’,” Harry says, defeated.
“What do you mean they said no?” I ask, confused. He was just coming out of a quick meeting with his label.
“They said no to ‘Kiwi’ being the next single. They say it isn’t true to my brand or what I should represent. What a load of bullshit.” He’s frustrated now but his body is completely still.
“Harry, remember you promised me and most importantly yourself? That you’re doing this your way? You have the final say in everything. What do they want to do if not ‘Kiwi’?”
“‘Two Ghosts,’ think they can spin the story better for publicity,” he groans thinking about the stupid questions he’s already asked about that song. “I told them ‘Kiwi’ or no more singles and they said “we’ll keep this conversation going for a while” like I was a damn child in that meeting.”
I stand up from the office chair I’ve been glued to since Harry left this morning and walk towards his frigid body in the hallway. He hasn’t walked much farther into the hotel room than enough to close the door behind him. He’s tense, frustrated and defeated. I haven’t seen him like this in a very long time. I reach for his right hand and squeeze it. It’s almost like he’s looking through me right now. His eyes are slightly glassed over and looking at a blank space behind me. I place my left hand on his cheek and move his head so he has no choice but to look me in the eyes.
“Harry, listen, you’re in charge. You make the final decisions, now. The guys who said ‘no’ don’t know how to handle the fact that your success, knowledge and talent puts you in the point of power. So, you’re not going to take no for an answer. You’re gonna show them that they’re wrong and you know your audience best and what is best for your album and career.”
“And how am I gonna show them that?” he asks, now relaxed a little bit.
“You’re gonna perform ‘Kiwi’ like you’ve been doing. It’s your favourite to perform right?” He nods his head. “Right, and everyone loves it, on the album and especially live. You’ll let the song itself do it all.”
“But what if..” he starts to question.
“No what-ifs here, ‘Kiwi’ will be your next single. Just perform it how you always do, trust me. Your fans will do all the work.”
He nods again after a moment of thinking. A small smile creeps on his face. He releases my right hand and moves both hands to cup my checks. After a moment of searching my face, he gently kisses me.
“What would I do without you?” he flashes a big grin.
“Let’s not try to figure that out again, okay?” I say jokingly and he giggles. I break away from him and go sit down on the couch. I can feel him follow close behind me. We sit down on the couch and Harry pulls me into him.
“So what’d you do while I was gone?” he asks as he settles into the couch.
“Um, I sent some emails, worked on some homework, nothing too exciting,” I reply as I let my body weight fall against him, my back to his front.
“How is your homework? You’re not getting behind are you?” he asks with furrowed brows.
“Oh no, I’m doing pretty well actually. It’s been pretty easy getting as much done as possible while you’re busy. The last thing I want to be doing when you have some free time is homework.” He kisses my temple with a hum.
“I like the way you think, but seriously, please let me know if you need to do homework. All I care about is being in the same room as you, hell, the same city works. And anyways, I like watching you work.”
I twist around in his arms to face him. I gently place my right hand on his cheek and play with the small, shorter, curls near his ear. His eyes are soft as he imitates my actions and softly plays with my hair. He’s tired from his meeting and all the traveling - I know he’s fighting his sleepy eyes. I softly kiss his lips and linger close for a second. When I look up to meet his eyes they’re still closed. I run my hands through his hair and his head slightly falls back.
“Harry… let’s take a nap…” I say as I sit up on the edge of the couch, “Come on,” I grab both of his hands and pull him up so he’s next to me on the edge of the couch. Grabbing a pillow, I lay down on the couch behind where Harry’s sitting. I rub his back letting him know to lay down in front of me. Once he’s laying down on his side and comfortable, I scooch closer to him and sling my top leg over his legs and wrap an arm around his torso. With my other arm, which is propped up on the pillow, I smooth his hair down and move it out of his face. I place a soft kiss behind his ear and by the little reaction I can tell he’s almost asleep. I start to sink into the couch and give him a small squeeze.
“Thank you,” he whispers, “for…”
“Shhh…” I cut him off as I rub his arm. He hums in response and in no more than a minute he’s asleep. I’m grateful for times like this where I can take care of him. He’s always the one taking care of me and I love to repay his constant kindness and support. I know that’s what we have each other for, but sometimes I just think Harry believes that with his success and the fame he’s gained over the years that he has to constantly be on top of everything. I know he needs a break sometimes and that’s been hard for him because he thinks he always needs to be “on” and be “Harry Styles.”
It’s still early in the day so there’s plenty of time to spend together. I’m not that sleepy but the weight of Harry’s fully relaxed body puts me at ease. I set an alarm on my phone knowing that we can and will sleep for longer than we should. I continue to play with his hair until I can’t keep my eyes open. I slide my arm that’s propped on top of the pillow underneath his torso. This movement makes him stir but he doesn’t wake. I wrap my hands tightly around his ribcage and bury my face into his neck where his hair line stops. The smell of his shampoo mixed with his cologne is so comforting. I try to fight the tiredness just so I can continue to take in his smell but I fall asleep faster than I want.
I wake, slightly startled by my surroundings but recognize Harry’s body in my arms, quickly, calming me. I will never get used to waking up in unfamiliar places like Harry had so long ago. I reach for my phone that’s ringing on the armrest. After I turn off the alarm, I prop myself up slightly, brush Harry’s hair off his face and press a kiss to his head as he wakes up. A soft smile appears on his face, his eyes barely open.
“Hiii,” he whispers slowly as he looks up at me. I graze my lips across his temple close to his eye. He hums in response before carefully twisting so he’s lying on his back, looking directly up at me. I then lay my head on his chest and rest my hand on the center of his chest. Harry starts to play with my hair lightly, I can tell that his eyes are closed again as the movement from his hand is heavy and unorganized. I reach for the cluster of necklaces that hang around his neck. I pull the charms that hang at the bottom of the chains out from underneath his t-shirt. I’ve always loved his necklaces and the special meanings behind all of them. Nowadays, they’re almost always covered by whatever he’s wearing instead of hanging out on the outside or peaking through his barely button shirt. I try to untangle the necklaces a bit so I can give them a proper look but give up knowing it’s near impossible. I haven’t seen Harry without these particular necklaces since before he went to Jamaica to write the album. The lotus flower - the smallest charm, but the focal point of his album cover - is one of my absolute favourites he’s ever worn.
We were having a lazy Sunday morning, almost a year ago. Harry was starting to get things moving with his solo career. He was leaving for Jamaica in just about a month. This trip was something he always wanted to do - get away from everything and just write and make music and enjoy doing what he loves with the most creative people he could find. That random Sunday as we were drinking coffee and making plans for the day Harry said he wanted to go out and find a new necklace. He specifically wanted something that would represent this new part of his life and career. After talking about it and researching some different symbolism we reached the idea of the Lotus Flower. The Lotus resembles rebirth. This meaning sat with Harry best and we were off. We went to his favourite jewelers where he always gets his rings polished and old necklaces repaired. The first Lotus charm they showed us was the one he liked best. We walked out of the shop after 20 minutes and Harry was clad in his shiny new necklace. He wore it on the outside of his t-shirt. He held on my hand tightly, his other hand holding on to his new necklace and a smile plastered on his face.
Besides his old paper airplane necklace that he gave me years ago cause I loved it so much, this Lotus flower was was so important and special to him and soon became my favourite.
“So, when do I get this one?” I ask jokingly holding the lotus charm in my hands. He opens his eyes and looks down to my hand. He chuckles.
“You already got my paper plane, ain’t getting this one too, love.” We both love having things that once belonged to each other, keeps us close when we’re far away. I knew the second Harry bought this necklace that it would never leave his possession. It was too important and too special - this will always be his. I frown back at him anyways, he knows I’m always joking about wanting that necklace.
“Well, I want my grandmother’s scarf back, then,” another ongoing joke - I say with a pout.
When my grandmother passed away I inherited one of her small hair scarfs - a light coral with flowers printed on it. I treasured it more than anything. Harry fell in love with it one day when he borrowed it and to this day he still takes it with him wherever he goes. If he’s not wearing it around his head it’s tied to his bag, tucked inside his suitcase or folded up into his leather journal. I didn’t even know he had taken it with him until Anne sent me a photo of his journal with the scarf wrapped around it. Knowing how much that journal held in it, having my grandmothers scarf mixed in with all his written thoughts made my heart swell up and I knew from that day that I could never take it back.
“No, Tals, you can’t. You won’t,” he whines knowing full well that I will never take that scarf from him, only borrow it when we’re together. I loved seeing him with a little bit of my grandmother attached to him, knowing she would’ve loved him.
I raise my body up slightly so I can press a soft, lingering kiss to his lips. I look into his green eyes, much more rested now after the nap, less frustration evident in them as well. I smile at him.
“Feeling better?” I ask. He hums in response. “Good. Should we grab something to eat before you need to be at the venue?” He nods and rubs circles into the small of my back.
“You really think this is gonna work?”
“Harry, trust me,” I say as I stand up and offer a hand to him to help him off the couch.
We get to the venue after a late lunch. Harry’s been warming up and hanging out with his band and crew for a bit. I always like to give him time to be with them be them before the show. I don’t like keeping him from his job, but he hates leaving me alone. Being alone doesn’t bother me much. There always work I can do and I can easily entertain myself. Otherwise, I just find Lou and we hang out and she always shares new makeup with me or messes with my hair. Now that Harry doesn’t have much hair to mess with she always ends up braiding my hair this way and that.
“Hey babes,” Lou says as I walk towards her in the large green room where some of the crew is hanging.
“Lou!” I say with a smile and give her a hug and kiss on the cheek.
“How was your day with Harry?”
“It was good. He had a meeting this morning….” I trail off, Harry shares a lot of things with Lou. She nodded knowingly.
“He seemed upset afterwards, didn’t go as planned.”
“Not exactly but he’s got it. He knows what to do,” I say while picking up a piece of fruit from the craft table.
“Lucky to have ya around, sweetie,” Lou says as she throws an arm around my shoulders and hugs me. “Now, let’s go find that kid.”
We walk out of the green room and start making our way through the many hallways, giggling along the way. We say hi to all the crew members as we pass each one. We follow the trail of laughter and vocals that is echoing through the halls. It was about 30 minutes until Harry and his band took the stage. Knowing Harry’s pre-show routine, warm ups should be about done. Lou and I pass another large room that has some craft services.
“Hey, let me grab Harry some tea real quick,” I say as I pull Lou through a wide doorway. She just smiles and shakes her head as she follows along.
I grab a lemon ginger tea bag, Harry’s favourite pre-show tea. I add a packet of Splenda to the cup with the tea bag. I turn the electric kettle on and wait for the water to boil. I make a cup of coffee for myself as Lou and I chat about everything and anything. She’s telling me about the funny things Lux has been up to when the kettle dings, signaling the water is boiling. I pour the water into the cup and press a lid on top and stuff a few napkins in the pocket of my jacket. With Harry’s cup of tea in one hand and my coffee in the other, Lou and I make our way to Harry’s dressing room, again following the laugher and singing. As we step into the room, Harry’s back is to us as he is facing his bandmates who are all scattered around the room on couches, stools, and standing. Harry is decked out in his new Gucci suit for the show - red with black flowers. His suit jacket is thrown across the armrest on the seat next to him and his black button down shirt fits tightly across his shoulders. Harry’s voice echoes through the room as he finishes a run through of a vocal warmup.
“Hi, Natalia,” Clare exclaims as she makes her way over to me. I hadn’t seen her yet today and she pulls me in for a big hug. I hug her back as well as I can with 2 hot cups in my hands. Harry’s band and I have gotten pretty close too. Clare, Sarah and I tend to hang out when the boys are messing around and get a bit obnoxious. It’s also nice to have some more girls around on tour - for the all the tours I’ve been on with Harry, there are boys everywhere, and I mean literally everywhere. Lou has always been there but the more the merrier.
“Aw, hi, Clare!” I exclaim as we break apart.
Harry turns around following Clare’s movements towards me. As I step away from Clare, Harry is soon to replace where she was standing in front of me.
“For me?” he says reaching for one of the cups in my hand.
“Nope,” I reply with a smirk and a frown appears on Harry’s face, “This one is,” I say as I offer the other cup to him.
He grabs his tea from my hand and reaches his other hand up to my chin. He lifts my chin up towards his face, looks into my eyes and presses a kiss to my lips. When he pulls away he rubs his nose against mine and then kisses my forehead.
“Thanks for the tea, Angel,” he says with a smile.
“ ‘Course. Love the suit by the way, “ I say as I tug at his shirt. I reach up to the bow that is barely tied at the collar of the shirt and tug it completely untied with a grin and a wink.
“Hey, you two, keep it PG,” Mitch hollars from the couch.
“How about you give us some space,” Harry fights back but he can’t keep a straight face to save his life. “Just kidding, Mitchy,” he giggles. Mitch shoots him a small smirk from behind the long hair that covers quite a bit of his face.
“Mitch, Harry, you two need to keep it PG,” I joke as I roll my eyes and walk over to the empty chair. After setting down my coffee on the table next to the chair, I pick up Harry’s suit coat and sit down. I gingerly lay the suit coat across my lap, running my free hand over the slightly textured fabric. Harry seems to be in a much better mood than he had been earlier today. I’m excited to see him perform. I’ve only seen the show once before just a few days ago when we were in Chicago. Watching Harry perform on stage makes me just as happy as he is when he’s performing. I smile up at him when I hear him laugh after something Adam said that I missed. Harry’s got a hand in his pocket and his tea in the other. His curls are sitting perfectly in place, the smile on his face pokes out his dimples and his eyes are scrunched so much their almost closed.
Jeffrey and Harry’s Stage Manager come in just a few minutes later calling them to the stage. I help Harry put on his suit coat. Once he’s got both arms through the sleeves he turns around and tugs on the front lapels to get it situated on his shoulders comfortably. I reach up and smooth out the collar and tighten the bow he tied back up after I untied it earlier.
“Good Luck, H,” I say softly, reaching my right hand up to his cheek. I tuck a rogue curl behind his ear before resting my hand back on his cheek. I pull his face down lightly and he meets me halfway in a kiss.
“I love you, Natalia,” he says with his forehead pressed to mine after the kiss ends.
“Love you most.” I kiss his cheek before he turns and walks out of the dressing room in the same direction his band left a few minutes ago.
Lou and I are brought to the blocked off section behind the soundboard towards the back of the floor seating by one of the security guards just as ‘Ever Since New York’ begins. I sing along and dance with Lou as Harry moves through his setlist. He’s snuck in ‘Story of My Life’ when I’m expecting ‘Kiwi’ to be played next. I had no idea he was adding that to the set tonight and it was a pleasant surprise. It reminds me of my mom as it’s her favourite and I smile to myself. He puts a new twist on it with a more rock backtrack and as the song ends he grabs some water before blowing kisses to the audience. He walks up to the mic once his band has stopped playing.
“If you don’t sing with me on the next one, I’m not coming back,” he says trying to hide a grin and his nerves. He mumbles something as he walks away from the mic but I can’t make it out.
Kiwi begins and the audience goes crazy. Harry's dancing around on stage but I can tell he’s a bit distracted by something. His mic cord gets twisted around his mic stand at one point and then he’s unable to hit the “Kiwi Pose” as it’s been dubbed cause the stand won’t slide back down to its normal height.
“When she’s alone she go home to her….” he trails off singing, “Stop, stop, stop, stop,” he holds his hand up to his band behind them, signaling them to stop. My eyes go wide and I reach out to grab Lou’s hand.
“What?” I drag out under my breath before I noticed the shit-eating grin he’s got on his face. He’s up to something. He pulls out his ear piece as he looks down at his shoes.
“You were good,” he states, talking with his hand that isn’t clasped around the mic. “I need you to be better.” The crowd erupts in screams. “I promise you I will play as many times as it takes to get it right,” he finishes with another grin, showing his teeth this time. “Okay,” he clips his mic back into the stand, “are you ready to try again?” The screams are deafening. He asks each section of the audience if they’re ready before taking a dramatic and exaggerated deep breath. “Okay, let’s start,” he says calmly. The screams are bouncing off the walls and I can barely hear my own thoughts. ‘Kiwi’ starts again and I notice the giant smile that’s taken over my face. I shake my head at his dramatics and begin dancing to his second go around of ‘Kiwi.’
The vibe in the room has elevated. I can feel the floor of the theatre bounce slightly along to the beat of the music. Harry’s energy has escalated on stage and in turn the screams have become deafening. The sound bouncing off the walls is almost unbearable but the happiness, excitement, and plain adrenaline pulsing through the theatre is enough to ignore the fact that everyone’s ears will be ringing for hours after the show.
Harry’s curls are bouncing around, no longer in the tamed position they once were when he stepped on stage. The large vein on the left side of his neck is protruding so much that one more yell or belting of “baby” seems like it could burst it. If he isn’t bouncing around keeping a tight grip on the mic cord so he doesn’t trip, he’s dramatically marching to the beat and his elbows move in a way that almost looks like he’s imitating a chicken - in the cutest way possible. After spraying the first few rows of fans with water he jumps around and pumps both fists in the air simultaneously.
“I’M GONNA PAY FOR THIS OWWWW,” he belts into the mic that is now clipped into the stand at center stage. He finishes singing and dancing, running back and forth across the front of the stage urging the audience to scream louder and dance harder. He takes a large gulp of water from one of the bottles sitting on Sarah’s drum risers. On cue with the last beat of the song, he sprays a short burst of water into the air, something that has become a ‘thing’ and fans wait for each show.
The screams are louder now that the music stops. The lights are out and not a single person in the entire theatre can hear their own thoughts. If Harry had any doubts about his next single, they have to be washed away after that. The group of men in suits from Columbia Records that I know are sitting in the corner balcony have something coming if they didn’t think that performance alone proves why ‘Kiwi’ is Harry’s next single.
After a few more songs and thank you’s, Harry launches into ‘Sign of the Times.’ He takes the length of this song to stand behind his mic stand, gripping on it with tight knuckles. He waves to fans and gives them thumbs ups making sure to make eye contact with them as he does. The energy is still high but it’s a different feeling than there was when he performed ‘Kiwi.’ There isn’t screaming or dancing, the entire theater is belting the words along with Harry and he’s constantly trying to hide a genuine smile. He takes a moment to step away from the mic stand and yells for the audience to sing. He spreads his arms out to the side and drops his head back on his shoulders, a huge smile still visible on his face. Even after months of performing ‘Sign of the Times’ Harry still gets overwhelmed by the response from the audiences and it’s one of his favourite experiences to talk to me about after each show.
‘Sign of the Times’ begins to end and I look to Lou and the security guard with us knowing that we have to get backstage before the lights come up. But the stage lights don’t go out cause Harry doesn’t leave the stage like he normally does. He releases a short chuckle into the mic before speaking.
“One more thing before I go because I’ll regret it if I don’t. New York is where Columbia Records is based. I like them very much and I’d like to thank them for being with me tonight. But I would like to tell you I suggested that ‘Kiwi’ was the next single,” he’s pacing slightly and messing with the mic cord in his hands. “I’d just like to suggest it a little more, and uh, maybe if we play it again, that we could have a deal,” he looks up to the balcony where the men in suits are sitting and shrugs his shoulders while making eye contact with them. “I mean, would you want to?” he asks turning his attention back to the entire audience. After a brief second of added screams, Harry turns to Mitch, Sarah, Clare and Adam behind him giving them a small shrug, grin and a nod, clearly verifying the situation. I realize in this moment that they must have planned this little encore earlier cause their faces are calm and ready. I can see the tension he’s holding in his shoulders before turning around. Harry turns back to the audience and gives an exaggerated, sarcastic, “Okay,” like he’s doing them an annoying favour. “Here it is,’ he say nonchalantly, a grin tugging as his lips. The sass and cheek he’s displayed tonight proves that he is truly in charge and knows what his fans want.
As ‘Kiwi’ begins for the 3rd and final time that night, I know, Harry knows, and everyone else in that room knows that it’ll be the next single.
Solo Harry is a whole other Harry. It’s the Harry I was always in love with, the one that got lost a few time down the road. We figured it out just over a year ago, how to make it work & we did it on our own terms. It took a little bit of time but here we are - Autumn of 2017. Harry & I just spent the majority of the past 4 months together. Harry made it a point to do his solo career on his terms. This new “solo Harry” as everyone keeps referring to him as, is so mature & grown up it’s incredible & I couldn’t be more proud to see him be so successful, especially the way he wanted it to be.
Here I am, sitting at home in chicago on a Tuesday night by myself. Harry & I have been texting & facetiming throughout the day. Tonight is his 1st sold out show of his first ever solo tour. To say he was nervous was an understatement. He would never come right out & say it, but I know him so well that after multiple facetimes just to “show you how cool this is!” I could pick out the tiny nervous ticks. I had been texting with Lou Teasdale throughout the day just to keep another eye on him. Of course I want to be there on his first night but being an adult is hard & I don’t live such glamorous lifestyle compared to Harry.
That was part of our terms we figured out - I could still live in my tiny studio apartment with my cat & continue to work in the city & finish college. Sometimes it felt like I was living a double life. I would go out to Harry’s fancy events, like the premier of Dunkirk & travel with him on his press tour for the album & the movie. Then when I was back in Chicago, I was just regular old Natalia & Harry would visit & we would pretend like the life we live is normal & stay low. We even got into a routine over the past few months while I was off from school. I would travel with him for a few days then I would come back to Chicago & work & most of the time he would come with me for a little bit. During that time with him in Chicago, it was almost surreal. As tall & broad as he is, he looked out of place in my tiny studio & would always joke about the lavish apartment he could get us, but part of the deal was that I supported myself in Chicago, that was my turf. He was in charge while we traveled or he was on the job, but Chicago was my place, my rules. Chicago almost became a 2nd home for him. He had his little things in my apartment that stayed here, that never left. It was a place that was constantly lived in & didn’t look like a luxury hotel. I’ve never seen him so relaxed & comfortable, besides while he’s singing or in his childhood home, than he does when he’s here in Chicago with me.
I would go to work while he stayed in my studio & took calls, wrote or just caught up on sleep. We would go to take workout classes together & go out to dinner with friends afterwards or pickup groceries at Trader Joe’s. Harry alway insisted on carrying all of the groceries. Harry really liked to cook too. My kitchen is tiny but he made it work & made delicious meals for the two of us. Sitting at home on my couch with a glass of wine & a plate of whatever Harry whipped up that night became our favourite thing. The quality time in a safe, happy space is all we need.
I wanted to be there for him tonight, but text & facetime was the best I could do right now. It killed me to be sitting in my apartment prepping for work & attempting to get some homework done knowing what was going on in San Francisco. I glance down at my right hand as the gold ring on my finger hits the light. Harry gave me this ring just about a week ago right before he left for tour. It was simple, just as I liked my jewelry, complete opposite style of his taste. It was a custom gucci band, with floral engravings, to match his countless custom suits he has for this tour. I fight harry on extravagant gifts constantly, but this was different. Harry gave me this ring as a promise & reminder of all of our ups & downs & the commitment we made to each other to stay true & do everything our own way. We are in a perfect place & aren’t going to loose it again. I picked up my phone & shot harry a quick text, knowing his opener was just about done & he would be with his band, focusing & doing all his superstitious acts before performing.
“Love youuuuuu, you don’t need it, but good luck,” I send quickly. I send a few heart emojis next because I know he thinks they’re cheesy & loves them.
“Excited, nervous, wish you were here. Love you,” was the immediate response I got.
No more than 5 minutes later my phone began to ring, Lou’s photo was flashing on my screen, asking to facetime. I answered immediately.
“Hiiiii,” I answered with a huge smile on my face.
“Babessss, he looks so good & the crowd is already insane,” she gushed, “I wish you were here, I miss my backstage partner in crime…”
“It’s killing me not being there, sooonnnnn though, so soon.” I respond, thinking about the next week when they’ll be in Chicago. “So how’s he doing, really?” I ask, a serious look coming across my face.
“He’s actually doing really well, really. You shouldn’t worry, he’s ready, he’s gonna be great.”
“I know he’ll be great, I’m just… I just wish I could be there. I feel awful…. It’s tearing me apart.”
“Babesss, he understands, we all do, & he’s proud of you,” she gives me a small smile & then it turns into a bigger one, “Speak of the devil,” she says cheekily as Harry appears on screen.
“Hiiii babe!” there’s a grin that’s covering his entire face. “Aw bloody hell I miss you,” He’s taken Lou’s phone in his hand & starts walking,”Guys!!! Look! It’s Tals!!!” he spins around in circles & I see quick glimpses of Mitch & Sarah, & a some other crew members. Cheers erupting, clearly everyone is high on adrenaline.
“Harryyyy! I’m so proud of you, I know you’ll be amazing & I can’t wait to hear about everything,” I say quickly knowing there isn’t much time before he’s needed on stage & I don’t want to take away from his preshow fun.
“I love you so muchhhh. I’ll call you the second I’m off stage.” I can see a distant look in his eyes for a moment. “I miss you.” He says quickly, more seriously.
“Hey, Harry, you got this, okay? You’re ready. You can do this.”
“Not without you,” his voice is so low I can barely hear it but his background noise is quieting, During the silence of me making out his words, he moves to a small room & closes the door. The lighting is better, I can clearly see his face & he’s silent.
“Harry, yes you can. You can.” I say in a calm voice. “You know it’s killing me to not be there, but you got this, okay?” He’s silent & looking at his feet & messing with his hair. “Hey, lou worked hard on that masterpiece on top of your head,” I say with a small smile, trying to get him to look at me & maybe even laugh. He finally looks at me with a slight smile in his eyes.
“Okay. okay. I got this. I miss you like hell & wish you were here, but this is happening, i can do this.” he’s half talking to me, half giving himself a pep talk.
“Yes, okay, Harry. I love you, now go back with your band & get ready for your kick ass show. You run this shit now, go have the best time on stage & have fun, okay?” I can see his mood shifting again & the spark is back in his eyes. He walks out of the room & conversations & a faint hum of screams fill the space.
“I love you. I will call you when I’m done.” he walks over to Lou, “Here lou…. Also, can you check my hair, I think I messed it up… sorz.” I hear Lou laugh & as she takes her phone back, she runs a hand through his hair & fixes it for him with a smile.
“You’ll mess it up on stage anyway,” She responds with an eye roll as she finishes. Harry walks over to his band & Lou acknowledges me. “Everything good?”
“Yup, just needed a little pep talk is all.”
hope you enjoy my first official little blurb of “Sparks Fly.” Please let me know what you thought, feedback is always welcomeeeee :)
I started writing in the ‘Sparks Fly’ universe in Spring of 2012. I ended up writing a 128 page, 33 Chapter fanfiction entitled ‘Sparks Fly.’ This story told how Harry Styles & Natalia Caros met (in the cringiest way possible - at a meet & greet, duh) & how they fell in love (with stupid jokes & the worst dialogue possible). I haven’t touched the original story since 2014, but I have built on it throughout the past 4 years in different ways. Let’s be honest here, this universe was written for me, myself & I, a way for me to escape & just a little stress reliever. Natalia is 90% me & 10% characteristics of people I admire. This is entire universe is written in the first person as I wrote it as, essentially, a dreamed up version of my life. Most plot points are inspired by reality & tend to follow real time or actual events that have happened. Real life events I went through & things Harry did are weaved throughout the plot. I never intended to really share this universe with anyone, this was solely for me.
Until now.
I have been so inspired by so many writers in this fandom as of late that I’ve decided that I want to share this dream world with the real world. I am not the best writer out there, I studied dance & fashion design for crying out loud, but here we are. I’ve got a lot of little stories in this “Sparks Fly” universe & I just can’t keep sitting on them.
Thank you to all of the people I’ve reached out to in the past month to get advice & find some courage to share this with you & to the lovely Harry+friends writers that have inspired me to share. Y’all are da best. Thank yaaa. @latelatenarry @majorharry @jawllines @harryforvogue @spitonmeharry @haroldloverboy
So, here’s a little blurb to welcome you to the world of “Sparks Fly.”
Share your thoughts & feedback is always welcomeeeee.
Natalia & Harry dated for about a year, if you could call what they were doing ‘dating.’ Natalia was finishing High School in Michigan while Harry was touring the world with One Direction. Mid 2013, their relationship got rocky, Natalia was trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life, applying to colleges, growing up the best & fastest she could & Harry was still traveling the world with One Direction with no end in sight. They agreed to break up, if you could even call it that. There were real & serious parts of their relationship, they were each others first loves, first long distance relationship, but they were on 2 seperate paths that lead completely opposite directions. It ended on mutual terms with no hard feelings after several months of not seeing each other, a bit of heart break on each side.
After almost 2 years, Harry contacted Natalia out of the blue wanting to reconnect. Natalia was weary at first, finally happy with her life she started in Chicago after getting out of the small town she grew up in. She felt like a completely different person compared to the girl Harry met years ago. She kept up with One Direction in that time apart, bought every single, listened to every album top to bottom, & squealed every time there was a new music video released. Dating Harry felt like it happened in a different lifetime. Harry being his still cheeky & caring self managed to persuade Natalia to meet up & reconnect. Harry just wanted to know how she had been doing. Harry couldn’t keep up with Natalia’s life from afar in the same way Natalia did with his. There were no intentions, only a small trace of hope that they would find the same love they had for each other when they first met. Harry couldn’t stand not having her in his life in any way, shape or form. He had matured over the years, they both had. Slowly, but surely they fell in love again. They decided not be in a serious, committed relationship. One Direction was big as ever & Natalia was dedicated to college & her own career, their paths still didn’t line up all that well. It came to a point where Natalia put her foot down & gave Harry an ultimatum - make it work or end it. She knew his hands were tied & that they both had always agreed that their professional lives are priority, but she still offered it up, she couldn’t handle the stress, loneliness & drama that came with it. They took some time away from each other again, agreeing that if the opportunity presents itself, they could try again. Third time’s the charm right?
Well for Natalia & Harry it was. One Direction went on hiatus. Harry forced himself to relax & take a step back from the constantly busy life he was living for so long. They found each other again. This time they both knew exactly what they wanted in their personal & professional lives. They knew what mattered most to themselves & to each other. They sat down & made adult decisions together. They were determined to make it work. Now that Harry was on his own terms in his professional world & Natalia had her career planned out after college, they were ready for their life together. This is what they had always wanted, they just needed a few trial runs to get here.
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hii again. i hope you kinda enjoyed this, idk. I’m gonna post the opening of the first little bit “Solo Harry” in a few minutes so theres more to get the gist of it. lol. I don’t know what i’m doingggggg
Here’s a little sneak peak of the next little blurb in the Sparks Fly Universeee :)
I stand up from the office chair I’ve been glued to since Harry left for his meeting this morning & walk towards his frigid body in the hallway. He hasn’t walked much farther into the hotel room than enough to close the door behind him. He’s tense, frustrated & defeated. I haven’t seen him like this in a very long time. I reach for his right hand & squeeze it. It’s almost like he’s looking through me right now. I place my left hand on his cheek & move his head so he has no choice but to look me in the eyes.
“Harry, listen, you’re in charge. You make the final decisions, now. The guys who said ‘no’ don’t know how to handle the fact that your success, knowledge & talent puts you in the point of power. So you’re not going to take no for an answer. You’re gonna show them that they’re wrong & you know your audience best & what is best for your album & career.”
“& how am I gonna show them that?” He’s relaxed a little bit.
I’ve got about 3K words right now but still feel there’s a lot to add. We’ll see where & how this goes :)
