Innocent Until Proven Guilty // Freya + Nate
{ @natekennington } Freya had grown accustomed to feeling guilty. After the loss of her mother, and then Lucas, it was hard for Freya to go throughout the day without that familiar pang of guilt that never managed to let her go a day without reminding her of what she had done, and how she would never be able to escape the person she is. Every time she closed her eyes, Freya saw the faces of the ones she’d lost, and also the faces of those she didn’t even know who had come to her after death, seeking her out. Death constantly played on her mind, suffocating her day by day until she was sure she would also join the dead in the Underworld. However, on New Year’s Day Freya was feeling extremely guilty, even more so than normal. Having woken up with a pounding headache, Freya momentarily forgot what had happened the night before, but that didn’t last long. With a sinking feeling, the events of the night before slammed into her like a freight train.
Before Freya could make sense of everything, she was already half way to Nate’s cabin, intent on talking to him, to make sure that he didn’t remember that it was her who he’d been kissing the night before. Dread washed over her like a tidal wave, and she had to stop for a few moments to gather herself, her eyes swimming with tears as she stumbled her way to his cabin. What she was doing, she didn’t know, but she was drawn to him, and it was so wrong that Freya hated herself more than anyone else ever could. She hated that she’d kissed him. She hated that she’d betrayed Lucas. She hated that she couldn’t help but destroy everything she touched, even when she tried to be so delicate with everything she did.
Stupid, she chastised herself.
How could you do this?
You never deserved Lucas. You’ve betrayed him.
Pushing the thoughts away with a single knock on the door of the Poseidon cabin, Freya stood waiting, almost hoping that nobody would answer, and she would be left to go back to her cabin and spend the rest of her days wrapped up in her blankets, avoiding the world. However, Freya knew she had to face Nate. She had to assure herself that the kiss was nothing but a drunken mistake, and that she didn’t actually see him that way. How could she? She couldn’t. She loved Lucas, she had to love Lucas, and to move on so soon made her feel terrible, and especially for it to be with his brother. It was wrong, and it made her sick to her stomach with guilt, so much so that she was certain the ground would open up beneath her and swallow her whole. She hoped the ground would open up beneath her and swallow her whole.