summary: the one where spencer takes care of his colicky baby.
warnings: none
word count: 0.8k
pairing; spencer reid x fem!reader
There was no amount of reading spencer could have done that would have prepared him to take care of a baby. Once he got a taste of parenthood, it caused him to grow an immense amount of appreciation for other parents. Single parents, co-parents, married parents, etc.
He’d heard about it all, the diapers, the lack of sleep, the crying, the spit-up, and the consistent fear that you’re doing something wrong. They say that it's all worth it when you’re entirely exhausted and delirious, and they stare right into your eyes and smile with a toothless grin.
The familiar loud ear-piercing cry woke spencer from his sleep. His eyes slowly adjusted before allowing himself to sit up from bed, he glanced over toward your side of the bed noticing how you had still been asleep. A small smile spread across his face, as he heard the soft snores slip past your lips.
He carefully lifted the duvet as he carefully stood up from your bed doing his best to avoid disturbing your sleep. He quickly lowered the volume of the monitor before heading toward your daughter's nursery.
The cries proceeded and began to become louder the closer he got, slowly breaking his heart.
“Hey pumpkin” he softly cooed carefully swaddling her with a nearby blanket. His eyes scanned around the room, ‘where did y/n leave the binky’ he thought to himself.
Aurora’s cries began to grow louder causing spencer to panic as he strived for multiple ways to cause the crying to come to a halt. Nothing seemed to be working, he began to try and memorize the numerous amounts of ways to calm a colicky baby. He was desperate at this point, he wanted nothing more than to have her happy.
“Is this what you wanted? Some of your mommy's milk?” he pleaded, waving the small bottle of breastmilk in front of her, he placed the nipple in her mouth only for it to be quickly denied. A weary sigh left his lips before setting the bottle down.
“Seriously? Not even milk?” he grumbled.
“What if daddy asked really nicely?” the cries continued, Spencer himself felt like he too would start crying.
“Not even with that? Geez you're one tough woman to please” he chuckled bouncing around the room softly.
He then found himself crawling into the crib and placing her on his chest, one hand running soothing circles against her bareback while the other softly tapped her bottom, his final attempt to calm her.
A small yawn fell from his mouth, waiting for her cries to stop.
He felt a smug smile fall onto his face as the cries began to grow quiet. He won this round. He let out a small giggle,
“This is how I get your mom to fall asleep too. I'm going to have the both of you spoiled, aren't I?”
“Like mother, like daughter” he mumbled before feeling himself drift off.
The shrill sound of your alarm woke you, a loud groan slipped past your lips.
“Bub, can you turn that off?” you mumbled. You rolled your eyes as the sound continued. Your eyes opened adjusting to the warm sunlight filling the room.
You glared at the clock reading the red lights, 7:15 it read. You threw your hand over to feel for your husband's warmth, only to be met with the cool bed sheets. Instinctively you sat up and looked around the room for him.
Where the hell was he?
You stood up turning the alarm off and heading toward aurora’s nursery. A small chuckle leaving your lips as you admired the sight in front of you.
Spencer’s long legs hung outside of the small crib with Aurora tightly held against his chest fast asleep. you stared at their faces in awe, noticing the striking resemblance between the two. The way their lips fell open as they slept, weak snores falling from their lips, and the occasional nose scrunch.
Like father, like daughter, you thought.
You rushed toward your bedroom for your phone and snapped a picture of the two. You knew spencer had to leave for work soon but, you hadn't had the heart to wake him. It was obvious that he’d been up for most of the night with your daughter.
You ran your thumb along his cheek softly before placing a single kiss on both of their heads.
“Spencer, my love?” you called softly, only to earn a whine in reply. He soon met your gaze,
“What time is it?” he asked, his face scrunching together before letting himself to stretch.
“Last I checked it was fifteen after seven” he furrowed his eyebrows,
“Wake me up in another fifteen minutes, please?” he puckered his lips waiting for you to meet him halfway. You leaned down placing a tender peck on his lips.
“Will do, you get some rest, my love” he nodded before closing his eyes once more with some snores that followed immediately after.
An additional fifteen wouldn't hurt, especially if it was another fifteen of staring at the people you love the most.
So this is kinda coming off this post by Adam Ellis that I just reblogged, and I've seen a lot of similar responses made by other content creators I follow irt unsolicited criticism on their work.
As someone who has yet to be beaten down by the internet, I'd like to expand on this in a way that supports those creators and hopefully educates some of the good faith actors out there.
So let's start out with some DEFINITIONS, w00t!
In every day language critique and criticism are interchangeable, while in professional/academic parlance they very much are not.
Critique is not JUST criticism. It requires taking a good faith view of an entire body of work, including the context and previous author's works, change over time, technique, balance, 'effectiveness' (I'll come back to that one later), and a whole host of other things. A critique involves evaluating the work for both it's successes and failures. Think long form journalism, academic reviews, well done movie/restaurant reviews. Think Lindsay Ellis's work, or Bob Chipman does good movie reviews (his Really that Good Series is one I highly reccomend).
None of that is satisfied by a tweet, comment, or yt rant. That is the privilege that comes with being an expert or a peer in the field.
So to review, a good critique involves a LOT of work, acknowledgement of good and bad aspects of a piece, is done by a peer, and most importantly ACTS IN GOOD FAITH.
Trolls cannot give critique because they are not working in good faith.
Random commenters cannot give critique because they are not peers even if they are acting in good faith.
So much of what people try to defend as "critique" or "valid criticism" tends to be bad faith interactions. Those comments aren't meant to help the creator expand their art and consider new perspectives, more often than not they are personal preferences that have little relation to any kind of genuine critique. This is one of the most difficult things to learn in giving good critiques, and you'll notice that good reviewers will be open when their opinion is personal rather than a professional evaluation.
All of this comes back to *Effectiveness*. Thought I had forgotten about that one, but nope. More definitions! In this context, and in the context of good faith critique, the first thing you do is figure out what the author was trying to do and then you decide how effective they were in their efforts. Does it seem like they were trying to make you laugh, cry, seethe? Did it work? What bits can you pick out that made it work or not work? Is this a pet peeve or a technical issue?
So shifting gears into the realm of metaphor, let's put it this way:
Content Creator Adam is getting coffee when he runs into an old colleague and friend Andrew. They chat for a second, sit down, and work comes up. Adam asks Andrew for feedback on his latest round of work, and Andrew (being familiar with his friend's work over the past several years in the same field) provides a thoughtful critique of the latest piece, praising the progress he's noticed and mentioning an aspect or two that could be tweaked in the future. They both part, content and excited to work on new ideas.
The next day, Andrew returns to the cafe, orders his regular, and goes to chill in a booth. A random person he has never met before comes up and compliments him on his work. Uncomfortable, but pleased to have a fan, Andrew says thanks you and goes on about his day. When he leaves the cafe, someone comes up to him on the sidewalk and rattles of a list of every cliche he's ever used before calling him a hackand walking away. Andrew, confused and uncomfortable now, keeps going. A lifted pickup truck with crude spray paints of nude women and flags slows down and several of the dudes in the truck bed start yelling about how Andrew is a cliche artist and they're gonna have mountains of porn sent to his house cause they know where he lives. Andrew calls Adam and asks if he can crash on his couch and they spend the night venting about similar experiences.
Feedback that is not requested can easily turn into harrasment. Remember the number one rule of internet content.
DON'T LIKE DON'T READ. THE BACK BUTTON IS RIGHT THERE.
Yes, even if you think the creator is a Bad Person™️, that doesn't give you a right to send them hate mail. You haven't put in the work, you are Anakin and you do not have the high ground, you are bringing a spoon to a sword fight, and you are noy the hero of this story.
If you aren't gonna put in the time and effort it takes to properly critique something the you gotta follow the politeness rules. You wouldn't yell shit at them on the street so don't do it on the internet.
TL;DR If you are not a friend or a peer in the field you are not qualified to give critique.
A part of me wishes I could be one of those full force pacifists with a deep disgust of violence that shakes their bones.
But I'm not.
I've found deep satisfaction in taking a swing, feeling that connection of flesh and bone at bruising force. The sensation of diggin in your nails so deep as to draw blood.
Dragging the knife down with a fury that could freeze oceans, weeping for mercy, and ready to shatter. The thought of it makes something in me sing where I should cringe.
I dream of peace, and cling to that. There is a sort of lurid charm to violence, but like all vices it must be tempered before it corrupts.
Understanding violence and using that to fuel your desire for peace. Im content with that. Someone more willing to extend a hand up than pulling back a fist to swing. Never attack someone who is helpless to retaliate. As always it's about the power. The trauma. A battle between warriors is so different from backhanding a child.
I'm finding that most interactions can be governed by the same principals. Good sex, good magic, and a good fight all involve consent and protection. To forego either shifts the balance of power and the repercussions.
The goal should always be peace. No casualties. No damage. No pain. Today that is a fantasy, but if we cannot make a perfect world even in our dreams then how can we remember what we're working for?
summary: after doing some thinking reader decides that maybe being in a relationship with spencer isn’t what’s best for the both of them.
warnings: yanno the usual break up stuff…. like crying and sad stuff lol </3
word count: 1.6k
pairing: spencer reid x reader
A/N: SHES HERE!!!!! it’s literally been foreeeeeeever since i’ve come out with something and i did want to post something before college starts back up again…. it starts monday so i’m right on time lol …. anyway! i genuinely enjoyed this fic and i hope you all do too!!

She was nervous, that much had been obvious. Anyone would’ve been able to tell, whether it be the incessant pacing, nail picking, or tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Most people would’ve been delighted to have their boyfriend come home after not being able to see him, to talk to him, for weeks. Not her though. It wasn’t like she had a boyfriend that was terrible, he was amazing in almost every way possible. And it wasn’t like she no longer loved him because she did, she truly did.
Her mind had been on this constant spin, filled with the endless notion of how this conversation could go gnaw at her brain, the good, the bad. It all nearly caused her to miss the familiar sound of Spencer’s keys jingling in the lock. A sound she once adored now caused her breath to bitterly sit in her throat.
Y/N’s eyes quickly snapped in the entryway of the small apartment, painfully waiting to see the man she once longed for. “Hey” Spencer greeted, voice filled with exhaustion. She hadn’t even realized that she was holding her breath till she tried to speak. Even when she had it came out as no more than a whisper,
“Hi”
“I didn’t think you’d still be awake when I got in, I missed you. '' he softly spoke, it was clear that he was exhausted but still seemed to gather enough energy to flash the biggest smile in her direction because he was happy to see her. A soft groan left her lips, the guilt was unbearable.
Spencer cautiously began to walk closer in her direction, his eyebrows knit together. Clearly, he had been trying to piece together what could possibly be going on in her mind. After the long silence, he finally mustered up the courage to ask, “You okay?” Sure he studied human behavior but when it came to Y/N? Spencer was always so lost. Maybe it had been due to his naivety with women but in moments like this, every book textbook he’s ever read seemed to be futile. She was damn near impossible to read.
“Spencer, we need to talk. Now.” his eyes flicked over to her face before nodding to himself,
“Spencer? Wow okay, this is serious. What’s up?” he playfully joked, setting his bags down not quite putting his full attention on her as he began to strip off the layers he bundled himself with to try and tolerate Virginia’s winter air. “I miss you, I rarely get to see or speak to you anymore, and when I do get the chance it's for a minute. Before you’re off back to work.”
“I know, and I'm sorry it's just because they've been bringing in cases like crazy and can’t seem to find another team to take over them. I’ll be better with this, I promise.”
“No, you won’t. You’ve been telling me this for three months Spencer, and I just can't do it anymore. I can’t keep living my life like this” she sounded selfish, she surely felt like it. But once she started it seemed like she couldn’t stop, “I can't sit here lost and alone waiting for you”
“O-or that dreaded fear that lives in my head that you won’t make it back to me. That one of your friends is going to call me and say you were abducted again, in surgery or worse, dead! It’s not fair to me.” Spencer stared at the woman in front of him. She had been difficult to read most times but the look on her face? It would take a fool to not notice that look. She looked defeated. That much was noticeable.
He swallowed the lump in his throat as he stared into her eyes, “This sounds like you're trying to say goodbye?” she silently began to pick at her nails, avoiding any sort of eye contact with him, and from the corner of her eye, she watched as his head snapped up in disbelief due to the lack of response on her end. That silence seemed to have spoken for itself, “What?! Y/N! No!” he screeched
“Spence come on, think about it. What’s the point in this if only one of us is willing to make it work?” That right there? Those five words just confirmed everything Spencer had feared. Y/N was done.
“I’m willing to fix it! I’ll be home more often, I-I can work full time as a professor. Consult on cases from home and spend more time with you! We could even get one of those dogs you’ve always wanted!” she was done but that didn’t mean he was, he wanted this, He wanted her and he wasn’t going to let this go without some sort of fight. He’s been waiting for a love like this for too long.
He didn’t want to do the whole get to know you talking all over again when he met her he thought he met his forever person. He was done and this was it for him.
“A Frenchie?” he eagerly nodded in response before continuing, “Yeah! Did you know that since French Bulldogs are so top-heavy and also brachycephalic, they can’t swim? That this type of vigilance is crucial around large bodies of water? So I guess that means no beach days for the little guy” he chuckled, reaching his hand out expecting her to lean into his touch like all the times she had done before.
But, that’s when she sighed, taking his hands into her own rubbing soothing circles against his veiny skin, “Sweetheart, as tempting as that is, I can’t ask you to do that for me. It’s not fair to you. The BAU is your entire life and it would be selfish of me to make you stop doing what you love.”
“Doing that alone would make you resent me forever, and I couldn’t live with myself having that in the back of my mind”
“But, I’m not ready to lose you” he desperately pleaded.
“You already have. I have been going back and forth with myself for weeks on this, you aren’t in the right place for a relationship and you know it,” I sighed ''Why continue to string me along?”
This is where they both stared at one another in silence watching as they both began to slowly become a wreck. Neither he nor she was sure when the tears began to flow and neither sure when they had ceased. “I still love you”
“I know you do, and I will always love you” that’s where she began to laugh. Spencer furrowed his eyebrows once again as he stared at her hoping for an explanation for the laughter. Luckily she hadn’t left him waiting for too long.
Once her laughter died down she looked at him with a slight smile, “God look at me! I sound like a corny breakup song” despite the situation they were facing he too couldn’t stop his lip from twitching into a smile and giggles began to erupt from them both. The laughter was short-lived and a comfortable silence fell between the two of them. Neither one of them was sure what to say or do next.
Spencer broke the silence with a final question, “But, now's not the right time?”
“Yeah, now just isn’t the time.” she assured, as she began softly wiping away the remaining tears that seemed to stain his pale skin. He’d be okay without her and she knew it. Spencer would find his happily ever after again someday, that much was certain. So, Y/N wasn't worried.
“Okay,” he nodded. There was that obvious disappointment that filled his voice but yet? He understood.
They both stood from their rightful spots Spencer took her hand into her own as they silently walked toward the front door. Spencer placed a soft kiss on her forehead as the realization dawned on him once more.
“Goodbye Spencer” he gave her a weak smile as she walked into the hall, away from him and into her new life.
They always say that sometimes you meet the right person but it's just not the right time. I never really understood the saying because I always liked to believe that it’ll always be the right time if it’s the right person. But, then she met Spencer, and now it all just made sense.
Spencer watched as Y/N descended from their his staircase waiting till she was out of his sight to close the door behind him. He aimlessly wandered to his sofa sitting in silence, a dull ache sat in his chest. He felt around his pocket looking for one thing in particular and once he found it he let out a painfilled sigh.
He opened the small box admiring the jewelry that sat in it, he had picked it up when visiting his mother during this last case. It was hers, a ring that had been in his family for generations and he planned on giving it to her.
The more he stared at the ring the more tears began to fill his eyes, he was alone once again. Everyone he once loved seemed to have abandoned him in some way, Y/N was just another added to the list. Just like that. Gone. When only an hour ago he and Derek were tossing around ideas of how and when he should propose to her.
“Won’t be needing this anymore” he mumbled to himself, setting the box down and laying back, his body feeling numb. They both said this was forever but, forever? It hadn’t been as long as he had hoped for.
summary: reader gets caught in the cross fire of yet another physics magic lesson
warnings: none
word count: 0.6k
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader + their young son!
You let out a sigh of relief as you kicked your shoes off at your front door, finally home. Your entire body felt weak and you had the worst migraine from your rough day at work, your boss had been nagging at you the entire week but, had been particularly rough on you today. You had been counting down the hours so you could wind down and spend a relatively calm weekend with your boys.
That was until you felt the familiar strike against your forehead, you knew exactly what had been taking place while you were away at work. The sound of plastic bouncing against the wooden floor seemed to have been louder than it should’ve been. You felt tears that began to swell in your eyes, the cheap plastic cylinder that hit you hadn’t physically harmed you, no. It’s just with the week you had, this just topped off your frustration.
“Alright! whose idea was it?” you sighed, silently waiting for your two guys to appear in front of you. The familiar sound of their slippers shuffling against your rug filled your ears, there they were. You opened your eyes to glare at the two of them but, once you saw the guilt on their practically identical faces, you couldn’t be as frustrated with them like you had previously planned.
The older damian got, the more he began to look like Spencer, it was as if you had no part in making him yet, you were the one who held him in your womb for nine months. Their wide hazel eyes staring back and forth between you and each other, waiting for you to rip them a new one. It wasn’t like you being upset was a common occurrence, it’s just they both have sensed your tension within this past week, it was due for you to have a small outburst, whether it be on them, or some random inanimate object close by.
“Okay, I know you’re probably upset with us both but, it was for good reason. I swear” he quickly tried to defend himself and your son.
“Babe! last time this happened i said no more physics magic in the house! It’s always me getting in the middle of it” his shoulders deflated immediately knowing that he wouldn’t win this one but, he couldn’t help but try? Like Samuel Beckett once said, ‘try again. fail again. fail better.’
Even though every argument with you, he rarely ever got to win. so, it always seemed to be, “try again, fail again, try again.”
“Okay, fine, Damian convinced me, you know how hard it is for me to say no to him sweetheart!” you watched your son turn to his father with wide eyes, at the sound of the unexpected betrayal from his father clearly shown on his face because everyone in this house seemed to be intimidated by mom.
“yeah, sure dad, let’s blame the five year old” he sarcastically muttered, causing both your and spencer’s head instantly to snap in his direction. You gave a lame attempt to suppress your laugh before an explosive laugh bubbled from your chest. You scooped damian into your arms placing a small kiss onto his cheek, your prior anger had been long forgotten about. A small laugh leaving his lips, although he had his father’s looks he’ll always be a mommas boy.
“If it makes you feel better we baked cookies and ordered from your favorite take out spot for dinner?” Spencer softly smiled, you stared at him in awe ,yeah you definitely couldn’t be upset with them anymore. You leaned into Spencer’s side taking in their scents, the smell of familiarity, warmth, and love. The smell of home.
“I love you boys, you know that right?”
“We love you too”
taglist: @takeyourleap-of-faith , @willowrose99
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summary: in which spencer takes care of a sick, and slightly dramatic reader.
warnings: mention of vomiting, minor curse words... maybe?, and mention death ( reader can be slightly dramatic when they’re sick)
word count: 1.1k
pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader
a/n: hey besties i’ve been wanting to write something forever but school has been kicking my butt soooo here’s this lol <3 mwaaaah
Spencer rolled over in his sleep unconsciously feeling around the mattress seeking your warmth only to be met with nothing but cool and empty bed sheets. He quickly shot up from his previous position, and all desire for sleep abruptly vanished. The both of you had recently got home from an extremely tiresome case, so why hadn’t you been in bed? You never were one to wake up due to nocturia, not that he can currently recall anyway.
“y/n?” he softly called, face scrunching up filled with confusion as he received no acknowledgment. he quickly rubbed away his sleep before looking around your shared bedroom and noticing the tiny sliver of light peeking through the bathroom, there you were. he turned to his bedside table with a small yawn, the clock reading, 4:45.
He softly knocked on the door before entering, his face falling at the sight of you, Spencer didn’t know what he been expecting to see walking into the bathroom but it definitely wasn’t to see you clung to your toilet bowl with a vibrant shade of red against cheeks and a light sheen of sweat along your forehead. “Darling, may I ask why you're laying on the floor? It’s nearly five in the morning.”
“I threw up. now, get out you don’t need to see me like this” you simply waved him off rubbing your hands along your face, letting out a painfully long groan, the sound seemed to have been endless for you tonight.
“Nope, sickness and health. Remember?” he reminded you of the vows you both took just three months prior from this very moment. He softly laid the back of his hand against your skin, before softly speaking once again. “come on. you’re burning up let’s get you back into bed”
“I think we need to get you into some new clothes, you seem to have sweat right through these, does that sound good to you?” you sluggishly walked out of the bathroom mumbling an unintelligible before response heading toward your shared bedroom thinking of all the times you were in good health and took it for granted, never again.
It was truly rare for you to ever get sick like ever there was a time when everyone on the team had got the flu apart from you. You were always taking care of your body, continuously practicing healthy diets and exercises, if it hadn't been for you all spencer would consume would've been a ridiculous amount of caffeine, take-out, and the occasional bag of trail mix. Continuously lecturing him on how ‘his body was a temple, it should be taken care of properly’. So, it had been a shock to you both that you could've gotten this under the weather.
You watched as Spencer plugged in your humidifier placing it on your bedside table before standing in front of you, a small and comforting smile laid across his soft features, what did you do in your past life for you to deserve a man like him in your life, you thought. A pang of sudden guilt washed over you, and another frustrated groan left your lips, “god, this is so shitty. I’m sorry you have to deal with this”
“Don’t apologize. It isn’t your fault ”
“Ijust don’t want to be—”
“Sickness and health” he sang, happily cutting you off. You shot him a sharp glare before ungracefully sitting on the edge of your mattress, the springs creaking at the additional weight. The both of you had been together for quite a while before the marriage and he certainly has taken care of you while sick or tipsy especially, so he understood what he was dealing with but it didn't stop you from feeling guilty and embarrassed.
“Arms up” you quickly let out an exaggerated groan as you followed his request and lazily lifted your arms above your head, the cold air against your bare skin felt oddly comforting.
“You know, if you wanted to get me naked you could’ve just asked. I would've done so gladly” you joked earning a playful eye roll from him. The cool air was quickly replaced by the soft fabric of an oversized t-shirt.
“Hilarious, any other time I’d take you up on that offer. I’m gonna get you some orange juice, you get comfortable? Staying well-rested and having some form of throat lozenge is the quickest way to get over the flu” he stated, waiting for you to get yourself situated into bed.
“Which I found in the medicine cupboard, so here” he placed the advil bottle and a small mug into each of your hands before wandering off to the opposite side of the bed.
“Thanks” he crawled into his side of the bed murmuring yet another brief I love you and goodnight. You stared at the ceiling with an endless amount of thoughts running through your mind, causing your apprehensions to grow bigger by the second as you sat in that damn intolerable silence.
After about five minutes you decided to break it with a weak, “Spence I think I’m dying”
“Sweetheart, no, you’re definitely not dying. This isn’t some plague, it’s probably just the flu, you know it’s been going around the office.” he softly spoke, turning to face you a toothless grin spread across his face.
“Baby, no! I’m serious. If I die while I’m sleeping, I want you to know that I love and adore everything about you even when I’m mad at you”. He truly made an effort to contain himself from laughing but failed miserably.
“Don’t laugh at me!” you wined.
“I’m sorry! I love you too y/n i’m sorry to disappoint you but, you’re not dying. Okay?” he held open his arms for you, waiting for you to accept his embrace. which you did, appreciating the tight hold he had on you,
“How about I read to you, to help you sleep?” he suggested. This wouldn’t be the first time and it definitely would not be the last, for some reason, the gentle tone of his voice always seemed to soothe you and put you out within seconds.
“My favorite?” you asked he playfully groaned in response, obviously was no aficionado of the extremely cheesy and unrealistic love story between a century-old vampire and a seventeen-year-old girl but, who was he to tell you no?
“I’d never given much thought to how i would die— though I’d had reason enough in the last few months— but even if I had, I would not have imagined….” he reads your eyelids beginning to grow heavy, the to grow sleep slowly starting to take over you. The sound of Spencer’s voice slowly began to fade out into nothing, he continued to read through the preface and one paragraph in the first chapter before realizing you were out cold.
Another laugh slipping past his lips, “Goodnight my love” placing a gentle kiss against your hot skin and allowing himself to fall asleep yet again.
summary: reader rushes to the hospital after getting a call from garcia saying spencer got injured on another case.
warnings: mentions of being in a hospital, mentions of getting hurt on a case,
word count: 1k
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader
a/n: yeah hi hello, this is my blurb entry for @ellesgreenaway ‘s 1k follower celebration! congratulations again India! You deserve it sweetheart <3 .
a/n #2 i fr don’t know how i feel abt this one lol
You were never one to pray, never. You couldn't recall a single time that you ever prayed, was there ever actually a time that you did? Right now though? You were pleading to whatever God there was that Spencer would be okay. That he’d wake up so you could finally tell him that you loved him for the first time.
You knew the dangers of the job, in fact, that was the initial aspect Spencer warned you about when he met you four months ago. He warned you of all the feasible problems you’d have to face. That clearly hadn’t stopped you from believing that it’d never happen, that just because he was with you it’d never happen to him again. What young, dumb, and naive thinking that was. So, when you got that phone call? Reality struck and it was safe to say you were terrified. Terrified of what that meant, for Spencer, and for your relationship. This truly felt like a sick joke, what were the chances of Spencer dying before you got the chance to tell him you loved him?
The muffled voices slowly began to grow clearer as you aimlessly searched for his room, as you scoured to find your Spencer. As you suspected, quite a few of his friends filled the room, smiles radiating off their faces, clearly happy to see that Spencer was doing well.
Once your presence became known they quickly found their way out, greeting you with hugs and the occasion arm squeeze “Hi”
“Hi” he weakly smiled, you quickly taking his hand into your own.
“Are you okay? How long have you been awake?”
“Not too long, maybe half an hour” A silence fell upon you two, you weren’t sure where to go with this, what’s next?
You groaned softly rubbing your face in frustration, you thought about what you wanted to say but, right now? Your mind was going blank, “God, I’m sorry I don't even know what to even say to you right now. I’m not very good with words”
“You've never done this before, have you?” Was it that obvious? Before you met Spencer you had very little dating experience so, either Spencer was really good at his job or you don’t do a very good job at keeping your facial expressions in check.
“Have I ever had to drive three hours worried about my boyfriend who could’ve died because he was being reckless and didn’t follow protocol? No Spencer, I don't think I have“ shit.
“Sorry that was mean” you quickly began apologizing, you didn’t intend to be so hard on him.
“No, it’s okay, don't apologize I understand” he didn’t mind. Truthfully, he was expecting it. He would’ve reacted the exact same way if roles were reversed, it was a fairly new relationship, he’d think it was odd if you didn’t react like you just had. His thumb soothingly glides over your skin causing you to meet his gaze.
That simple gesture resulted in you feeling that heavyweight in your chest, then the tears began to well in your eyes, you could have lost him this precious soul who deserved so much more than what life had to offer him.
Spencer felt your body begin to tense and caught a glimpse of the way your eyes began to swell with tears, “Don’t cry, what’s the matter?” Why was he trying to make you feel better? He was the one in the hospital bed, you should be the one comforting him. But, that’s just Spencer.
“I don’t know how I did it before”
He tilted his head quizzically trying to grasp onto what you were meaning, “Did what?” for someone so smart how could he be so dense?
“Live without having you in my life,”
“I know it's still early in our relationship and perhaps you think I'm batshit crazy but which is fine but, just the idea of you not being here with me, alive. It physically makes me nauseous” Spencer watched you thoroughly explain your frustration with a slight flail of your hands, a quirk similar to his own. Cute.
“Baby, look at me, ” his voice seemed to snap you out of the endless rambles. “I’m okay” he stared at you intently waiting for a response to tell him that you understood, whether it was verbally or physically. He needed you to know that he was okay.
“Come here”
“What if I hurt you?” he quickly rolled his eyes, opening his arms up for you, fingers swiftly wiggling with anticipation.
“Are you seriously trying to deprive me of hospital bed cuddles?”
you softly laugh, “I’d be a fool if I did that wouldn’t I?” he moved his body toward the left leaving room for you both to comfortably fit on the mattress.
“Very much so” you slowly climbed in beside him, basking in his warmth, you let out a delighted sigh.
“I was scared,” you admitted.
“I know, and I’m sorry,” he sighed laying his head on top of your own, “You smell nice” the small compliment had the two of you in a fit of laughter.
“Thanks I was washing my hair when Penelope called” he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion,
“Wait you brought your phone in the shower with you?”
“You’d be surprised how many conversations we’ve had while I was in my bathtub”
“You could’ve told me, I would call at a better time” you chuckled as your finger delicately traced over the pattern on his gown.
“What? And ruin my two favorite things? Talking to my favorite guy and a bubble bath? Not a chance Dr. Reid”
Another silence fell between you both, this time he decided to be the one to break it, “Thank you for being here”
Of course you’d be here, where else would you want to be?
“I love you, you know that right?” the soft movement of his thumb stopped, did he not feel the same? Perhaps you made him uncomfortable?
“Can you say that again for me?” he quietly asked.
“I love you” this time he looked at you with a large smile before gently placing a soft kiss against your lips.
“Yeah, I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that.” you hummed softly, tucking your head into his neck where the faint smell of his cologne still lingered. It was soothing.
This. This right here, this was it for you. You didn’t want this with anyone else, there was no more dating, this was it. You were going to marry him one day, have his children, Spencer is the one person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.
“Love doesn't make the world go ‘round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.’ — Franklin P. Jones
summary: in which spencer awkwardly asks reader to be his wife.
warnings: none
word count: 0.7k
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader
A giggle slipped past your lips as spencer placed sloppy kisses along your neck and jaw, his stubble tickling your skin. He let out a delighted sigh as he tossed himself on the opposite side of your mattress before wrapping his arms around your bare chest and pulling you into himself. It was nice being able to be enclosed in the warmth of his skin
You listened as the sound of his labored breaths began to steady themselves. He mindlessly fiddled with your fingers, smiles never leaving either of your faces. The room was filled with a comfortable silence, much like any other night full of lovemaking. spencer was the first to break the silence,
He let out a heavy sigh, you furrowed your eyebrows not thinking anything of it watching as your fingers danced along with his own. That was until he let out another exaggerated sigh
“You okay my love?” you softly chuckled, still not tearing your eyes away from your guy's hands. you watched as his face turned red,
“I was just thinking, ” he started before letting out a small sigh. “You know what never mind, you’ll probably think it's a stupid idea”
He tried avoiding the subject with a fake cough you halted your hand movements before turning your attention toward him,
“Oh no, don't you dare try to go shy on me now. Especially since you had me pinned underneath you less than fifteen minutes ago” you joked, referring to your recent torrid encounter. He grinned pulling your hand towards his lips placing a delicate kiss onto your knuckles. You stared at his face silently waiting for an answer.
He nervously gnawed on his bottom lip not meeting your gaze, it was a blatantly obvious tell that he was nervous. He was lost in his thoughts, weighing in on the pros and cons of bringing up this ‘stupid idea’.
It was your turn to sigh. You quickly sat up “What is it gorgeous, you're making me nervous” you chuckled running your fingers through his hair, delicately tugging out the small knots. You could practically hear the self-loathing radiate from his brain. He quickly looked up at you before giving you a forced smile, a weak endeavor to alleviate your apprehensions.
“Spence, you can talk to me about anything, you know that right?” he stared at you intently while silently admiring you before answering,
“Yeah, yeah I know”
“I know we never really discussed the topic, so I’m not even sure if you’d be too keen on that sort of thing?” you let out a nervous laugh,
“What sort of thing?”
“Oh! right, should’ve begun with that. I’ve thought of multiple ways to ask you this, I’ve been going back and forth with myself about this for days and I wasn’t sure if U should ask,” you watched as the man in front of you babbled on about his own self-contemplation. You playfully glared at him waving your arm telling him to get to the point, which he did.
“So um I was w-wondering if you wanted to,” he quickly cut himself off with yet another nervous inhale. Quickly closing his eyes, putting together the proper words for his own thoughts, allowing himself to exhale before allowing his focus to fall onto you once again.
I don’t know, be my married person thing?” he stammered, it took you a minute to realize what he was asking. You felt a sudden rush of joy run through your veins, you couldn’t help but send him a genuine smile.
“Who would’ve thought I’d be the one to have Spencer Reid at a loss for words” you joked, he gave his signature tight-lipped smile,
“In that case, I would love to be your ‘married person thing’” you gushed
“Wait! Seriously?!” he yelped, wrapping his arms tightly around you, an immediate wash of relief rushed through the man. You heard a small sniffle come from behind your shoulder causing you to giggle before pulling away and wiping his tears
“I don't even have a ring to give you! I didn’t think you’d say yes!”
“Spencer, darling. Ever since I met you I have been irrevocably in love with you. There is no one in this universe that I’d rather spend my life with than you and nothing will change that, ever”
He could hardly contain his smile before kissing you, once again.
