This is a rant, you can keep scrolling if you want!
I keep fidgeting all the time. I find it really really hard to stop. My parents keep getting mad at me because “It’ll become a habit, then you’ll start doing it in front of people! It doesn’t look nice!” I’m not even joking I don’t know how to stop.
I get distracted way too easily. I keep switching between the same three tabs even though I know there’s nothing new. Sometimes I’m hyper-focused but other times I’m all over the place and I can’t concentrate for the life of me.
I keep switching from assignment to assignment and none of them ever gets completed. I zone out, way too fast.
I only get hyper-focused when deadlines are staring me in the face. The last ten minutes of an exam are probably some of the times I’ve been fasted and most concentrated.
I find that I’m unable to put a time limit on things. Like if you ask me how much more time I need to finish my homework I would not be able to give you an answer. This infuriates my parents so much they’re like “How can you not know? Put a time to it!”
Every time I leave the house, even just to drop someone off outside I feel this horrible nagging itch that I have forgotten something.
I am fully aware of the responsibilities I’m neglecting and yet its like I’m being controlled by a person who can’t hear me.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed to such an extent it’s frustrating and I start crying because of that.
I can start of look at my ceiling fan and end up thinking about my ideal phone number. This has actually happened, and I have so much trouble controlling my focus.
I will remember things from when I was 3 years old and forget the last conversation I had.
I already switched tabs 4 times while writing this.
I take naps in the afternoon because school really exhausts me and when my dad wakes me up by calling my name my ears and my head just start hurting so bad all of a sudden and it just feels like something is gonna explode. This has made me cry so many times and the reaction I get is “Don’t be lazy, get out of bed.”
Sometimes if I get slightly flustered then it escalates so much that it feels like someone is screaming in my mind and I end up crying and just breathing really fast and loud.
When I listen to things with earphones on even at the lowest volume it feels too loud and my ears start ringing.
Honestly I don’t even know what to do anymore. I’ve tried talking to my mom about this but she keeps insisting “there’s nothing wrong with me”. Do I have ADHD? Because I really think I do and not getting any sort of validation for this is really confusing me. The main reason she doesn’t believe me is because I’m good at school. Mostly. I do well in tests and exams and I get 91% - 95% as an average on every subject but I’m horrible at submitting assignments on time. I don’t know when all of this started but it’s really beginning to bother me now. If anyone has anything to answer my questions or any suggestions on how I can handle this better, please, please, please reach out to me because I could really use your help.
Also to everyone reading this: sorry for the really long post and the rant! Thank you for reading it this far though :)
