The ideas are slowly coming to me so we’ll see where this goes.
So I though of a cool weapon for my oc to have in the apocalypse. It’s a double edge spear that opens up, when closed it just looks like a metal walking stick. I was looking at pictures and researching spears, nothing really matches what I came up with. 😅 But yeah I’ve been trying to watch Fear and seeing Morgan do his thing somewhat inspired me. I’m tired or writing OC’s with regular weapons or swords. (The reason why I do is not just because I love katanas, but I actually know how to use one. I had different martial arts classes when I was kid and we learned samurai sword wielding. So that’s why my OC’s in the past were all sword and knife wieldeds, because I know what the fuck I’m talking about. And I’ve been several shooting ranges growing up in Michigan where it’s open carry... But spears? I have no fucking clue how to wield one or write action for it. So I decided to step out of my comfort zone.)
Kinda looks something like this 👇🏻 it was the closest thing to the picture I had in my brain 😑
Ok so the premises so far is that Negan and his saviors are in the country side in upstate New York after loosing the battle with Rick the prick. They found a new settlement and are still rebuilding and recruiting when the west outpost reported gun shots near by. So Negan takes Simon and a group to investigate and that’s where they come across my girl Anya.
Simon of course tells Negan it was a bad idea. (They did fight in the past but Negan didn’t kill him in my story. He decided to give Simon a second chance. I love Simon too much y’all he’s staying alive. #sorrynotsorry) But obviously there’s still gonna be conflict between them because Simon doesn’t always agree with Negan’s orders.
Ps: I’m still stuck on “In The Dark” I want to rewrite because I didn’t like how shit was going. It feels rushed. But at the same time I have half of mind to just delete that one. So I’m taking a break from that for now. And asks because I haven’t got a single clue how to answer the ones I have saved. Like I said I don’t like forcing shit and giving you guys crap. So I’m really sorry for the wait again. Just bear with me. But now that I have a little spark, I’m gonna try to work on this story. Which has no title or real direction yet 😅
So a few days ago the lovely @scarletthart96 asked if I could do a second part to my other oneshot ‘Gone, Lost and Forever Broken’ so here it is...I reworked this with an old piece of writing I did years ago because I feel like the tone was very similar to what I was going for. I just hope it’s not terrible. @neganandblake I hurt your babies again I’m sorry but I’m big on the angst :D hehe <3 @scarletthart96 I hope this is okay for what you had in mind and doesn’t disappoint <3
(GIF Credit belongs to owners)
Gone for Good.
It was that time of year again and everyone was thankful for the break. Christmas had quickly come and gone and the invites had soon after been sent out, just like last year and the year before. The room buzzed with life as music flowed through the speakers along with the joyful sound of everyone that had attended. Families, friends and colleagues danced, sang and drank away the last minutes of the year that they were about to leave behind.
The colourful decorations filled the room along with balloons that had somehow floated up towards the ceiling, as they watched the happy crowds celebrate below them. Voices hummed into one another until it was too loud to hear yourself think. As the booze continued to flow so did the conversation. Simon’s New Year's Eve party was always something to talk about the next morning. The laughs and joyful banter echoing throughout the room, with smiles on guest's faces proving that they were clearly having a good time.
That is... all but one. The lonely man that stood silently watching the celebration from afar. Taking a deep breath, he fiddled with the empty champagne glass in his hand while the other stayed in his pocket as he leaned with his back against the wall.
They'd been fighting a lot over the last couple of months. Thinking back now he couldn't even remember what it was about. Separating seemed like the right thing to do for them at the time. But standing here in a crowd of people without her, he'd never felt more alone. More than once he'd been approached by someone, whether it be a colleague wishing him a happy new year or a friend offering a word or two of comfort. Each time he'd been the same, forcing a small smile of thanks before retreating back to his corner away from the crowds. Silly of him to think that going would've lifted his spirits. If anything it broke his fragile heart even more.
For a second a genuine smile found him as he watched his friends enjoying themselves. Arat trying to convince Simon to dance, each time managing to get him to the dance floor before he'd chicken out and head back to their table. But his smile quickly faded as he silently prayed that she could be here too. Having fun and smiling. God he missed her smile… He missed her.
As the last few seconds slipped away, he was given another glass to toast the New Year. People gathered on the dance floor ready to welcome a new start.
He watched couples come together as the lights dimmed and the music faded into united chants counting down the seconds.
In that moment he felt numb. Foolish. She should be here, she should be stood here in his arms welcoming the New Year they were supposed to spend together. But it was all over now, all gone and he couldn't understand why.
With each second he felt another crack in his heart as it ached calling out for her.
TEN!
NINE!
He should have fought, should have held on…but he didn't.
EIGHT!
SEVEN!
Did she miss him too? Was she as miserable and heartbroken as he was? He couldn't know but he knew he needed to see her.
SIX!
FIVE!
Maybe they could fix it. Whatever went wrong, maybe they still had a chance. But how can you fix something when you don't know what caused it to break?
FOUR!
THREE!
He was tired. Tired of being alone, having to live without her. He just couldn't do it anymore. He needed to see her, just to hear her voice again.
TWO!
ONE!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Cheers and laughter filled the room as a shower of confetti fell from the ceiling. Kisses and hugs were exchanged between couples and friends as they toasted to the New Year. Downing his drink, he quickly rushed out the building bursting out onto the sidewalk as he hailed down a taxi.
Traveling through the city streets, he glanced out the window to see the city alive with celebration. Every restaurant, club; all bubbling with well-wishers and party goers. His nerves ran high as his hands trembled with anticipation. Pulling up at her apartment building he jumped out of the car, racing up the stairs before coming face to face with her front door.
He didn't hesitate as he knocked. Clenching his hands and tapping his feet impatiently as he waited while panting for lost breath.
The door slowly opened to reveal her standing there in her casual wear with a look of confusion in her eyes. She glanced at him stood in her doorway dressed in his suit, panting like he'd just run a marathon.
“Negan…what are you-"
"I can't do this! Okay I'm sorry! I'm sorry for all the fighting, I'm sorry I'm so goddamn stubborn. I'm sorry for whatever went wrong!” He stuttered, every word tumbling from his mouth before he could stop to breathe.
He took a hold of her hands; his grip gentle but tight. She could feel them trembling as he continued, his every word rushed and breathless; he’d more or least rehearsed this in his head during the drive over. But standing here, now right in front of the woman he was so afraid to lose again…the words held new weight that he could feel in every heartbeat.
“All I know is that I want to fix this, I can't just walk away Peaches. It's too hard. I know we said that being apart was for the best but it's killing me. I can't stand the thought of you hating me because of all this.” He said desperately. Blake moved to speak but Negan stopped her. His hands squeezing hers a little harder. “You want to yell? Cry? Call me names? Hell fucking throw things at me?! That's fine, I'll take it. But don't give up on this, don't give up me. Please!"
She didn't say anything. Not even the words he'd wanted to hear. Instead with tear-stained cheeks she stepped back towards her door. Her hands untangling themselves from his grip.
“Negan…I…I can’t…”Blake paused. Both their eyes moving to rest on the jacket and boots laid in her hallway. Negan faltered, his breath catching in his throat.
Of course she was seeing someone else. It had been months since they’d broken up, what had he expected? She wasn’t happy with him and never would be and it high time Negan realized and accepted that.
“Shit Peaches…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have- Fuck!” He cursed himself for being so goddamn stupid to actually think that she’d want him back. His blood ran cold, heartbeat echoing in his ears as he backed away from the door.
“I shouldn’t have come here…I’m sorry.” He held back the tears; refusing to cry in front of her. He didn’t by any means feel strong enough to try but he’d damn well pretend for the sake of his pride.
Looking at her now. Blake wasn’t his anymore and he’d been missing the woman that didn’t exist. She’d changed. And he’d been chasing memories, mourning a love that didn’t exist anymore.
He saw the look in her eyes. The pity in those deep green orbs and for a moment he hated her for it. He didn’t want her fucking pity and hated himself for embarrassing himself like this. For being so damn weak for something Blake didn’t even want anymore.
It wasn’t fair. On either of them.
“I should go, I’m sorry for disturbing you.”
“Negan, please don’t go…” Blake begged, once against passing the threshold to comfort him; her heart breaking as he flinched away.
“No it’s okay…it was a mistake coming here…Happy New Year Peac-Blake.”
With that Negan left, never once looking back. But Blake watched him leave and with every agonizing second she was desperate to call him back. To hold him, kiss him again. Tell him she was sorry, that she wanted to fix everything just as much as he did. But she didn’t.
Instead Blake retreated to the quiet isolation of her lonely apartment, the New Year celebrations playing out on the muted TV screen that illuminated her living room. And with silent tears, the blonde moved to pick up her vibrating cell phone. Sniffling away the ache in her chest as watery eyes read the text from a man that didn’t deserve her. Didn’t treat her right and certainly didn’t love her as much as Negan ever would.
David. She felt sick the more she thought about it. The man would never be satisfied with anything she did. She would never be good enough in his eyes. And yet she’d had stayed. Put it with everything he did and said, never once striking back.
There was no going back now that Negan knew. No chance to explain. To tell him that by losing him; had she then realized how much she loved him. That the love was still there…
He’d been gone mere seconds and Blake already missed him. This was their second chance and she had let it walk out and leave her alone. And this time she had a feeling he was gone for good.
Chapter Six is available to read here. RATED M - hard fucking M, people.
When Negan follows through on a threat he made to her, Mallory decides that it's time to make her mind up about what to do about their situation. He can try, she thinks, to torture her but there's still an ace up her sleeve - one that she knows will blow everything he thought he knew about her away. Trouble is, does she really want to play that hand yet?
WARNINGS: rough sex, unprotected sex, light and uber consensual BDSM with D/s dynamics coming out. If it's not your bag, turn away. Flashbacks as always are indicated by italics.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
ALL the love and thanks goes to @strangersangel9 @hannibalssweaters for inspiration and all my new followers (*waves!*) and of course to @moomus and @youmustknowgatsby for betaing and being generally awesome.
