#neganandblake

[neganandblake]

Who has two thumbs and is thinking about getting back into writing her Negan and Blake ‘Peaches’ fic…👀

[starlessskies94]

Gone for Good. (Negan/BlakeAU)

So a few days ago the lovely @scarletthart96 asked if I could do a second part to my other oneshot ‘Gone, Lost and Forever Broken’ so here it is...I reworked this with an old piece of writing I did years ago because I feel like the tone was very similar to what I was going for. I just hope it’s not terrible. @neganandblake I hurt your babies again I’m sorry but I’m big on the angst :D hehe <3 @scarletthart96 I hope this is okay for what you had in mind and doesn’t disappoint <3

(GIF Credit belongs to owners)

Gone for Good.

 It was that time of year again and everyone was thankful for the break. Christmas had quickly come and gone and the invites had soon after been sent out, just like last year and the year before. The room buzzed with life as music flowed through the speakers along with the joyful sound of everyone that had attended. Families, friends and colleagues danced, sang and drank away the last minutes of the year that they were about to leave behind. 

The colourful decorations filled the room along with balloons that had somehow floated up towards the ceiling, as they watched the happy crowds celebrate below them. Voices hummed into one another until it was too loud to hear yourself think. As the booze continued to flow so did the conversation. Simon’s New Year's Eve party was always something to talk about the next morning. The laughs and joyful banter echoing throughout the room, with smiles on guest's faces proving that they were clearly having a good time.

That is... all but one. The lonely man that stood silently watching the celebration from afar. Taking a deep breath, he fiddled with the empty champagne glass in his hand while the other stayed in his pocket as he leaned with his back against the wall.

They'd been fighting a lot over the last couple of months. Thinking back now he couldn't even remember what it was about. Separating seemed like the right thing to do for them at the time. But standing here in a crowd of people without her, he'd never felt more alone. More than once he'd been approached by someone, whether it be a colleague wishing him a happy new year or a friend offering a word or two of comfort. Each time he'd been the same, forcing a small smile of thanks before retreating back to his corner away from the crowds. Silly of him to think that going would've lifted his spirits. If anything it broke his fragile heart even more.

For a second a genuine smile found him as he watched his friends enjoying themselves. Arat trying to convince Simon to dance, each time managing to get him to the dance floor before he'd chicken out and head back to their table. But his smile quickly faded as he silently prayed that she could be here too. Having fun and smiling. God he missed her smile… He missed her.

As the last few seconds slipped away, he was given another glass to toast the New Year. People gathered on the dance floor ready to welcome a new start.

He watched couples come together as the lights dimmed and the music faded into united chants counting down the seconds.

In that moment he felt numb. Foolish. She should be here, she should be stood here in his arms welcoming the New Year they were supposed to spend together. But it was all over now, all gone and he couldn't understand why.

With each second he felt another crack in his heart as it ached calling out for her.

TEN!

NINE!

He should have fought, should have held on…but he didn't.

EIGHT!

SEVEN!

Did she miss him too? Was she as miserable and heartbroken as he was? He couldn't know but he knew he needed to see her.

SIX!

FIVE!

Maybe they could fix it. Whatever went wrong, maybe they still had a chance. But how can you fix something when you don't know what caused it to break?

FOUR!

THREE!

He was tired. Tired of being alone, having to live without her. He just couldn't do it anymore. He needed to see her, just to hear her voice again.

TWO!

ONE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Cheers and laughter filled the room as a shower of confetti fell from the ceiling. Kisses and hugs were exchanged between couples and friends as they toasted to the New Year. Downing his drink, he quickly rushed out the building bursting out onto the sidewalk as he hailed down a taxi.

Traveling through the city streets, he glanced out the window to see the city alive with celebration. Every restaurant, club; all bubbling with well-wishers and party goers. His nerves ran high as his hands trembled with anticipation. Pulling up at her apartment building he jumped out of the car, racing up the stairs before coming face to face with her front door.

He didn't hesitate as he knocked. Clenching his hands and tapping his feet impatiently as he waited while panting for lost breath.

The door slowly opened to reveal her standing there in her casual wear with a look of confusion in her eyes. She glanced at him stood in her doorway dressed in his suit, panting like he'd just run a marathon.

“Negan…what are you-"

"I can't do this! Okay I'm sorry! I'm sorry for all the fighting, I'm sorry I'm so goddamn stubborn. I'm sorry for whatever went wrong!” He stuttered, every word tumbling from his mouth before he could stop to breathe.

He took a hold of her hands; his grip gentle but tight. She could feel them trembling as he continued, his every word rushed and breathless; he’d more or least rehearsed this in his head during the drive over. But standing here, now right in front of the woman he was so afraid to lose again…the words held new weight that he could feel in every heartbeat.

“All I know is that I want to fix this, I can't just walk away Peaches. It's too hard. I know we said that being apart was for the best but it's killing me. I can't stand the thought of you hating me because of all this.” He said desperately. Blake moved to speak but Negan stopped her. His hands squeezing hers a little harder. “You want to yell? Cry? Call me names? Hell fucking throw things at me?! That's fine, I'll take it. But don't give up on this, don't give up me. Please!"

She didn't say anything. Not even the words he'd wanted to hear. Instead with tear-stained cheeks she stepped back towards her door. Her hands untangling themselves from his grip.

“Negan…I…I can’t…”Blake paused. Both their eyes moving to rest on the jacket and boots laid in her hallway. Negan faltered, his breath catching in his throat.

Of course she was seeing someone else. It had been months since they’d broken up, what had he expected? She wasn’t happy with him and never would be and it high time Negan realized and accepted that.

“Shit Peaches…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have- Fuck!” He cursed himself for being so goddamn stupid to actually think that she’d want him back. His blood ran cold, heartbeat echoing in his ears as he backed away from the door.

“I shouldn’t have come here…I’m sorry.” He held back the tears; refusing to cry in front of her. He didn’t by any means feel strong enough to try but he’d damn well pretend for the sake of his pride.

Looking at her now. Blake wasn’t his anymore and he’d been missing the woman that didn’t exist. She’d changed. And he’d been chasing memories, mourning a love that didn’t exist anymore.

He saw the look in her eyes. The pity in those deep green orbs and for a moment he hated her for it. He didn’t want her fucking pity and hated himself for embarrassing himself like this. For being so damn weak for something Blake didn’t even want anymore.

It wasn’t fair. On either of them.

“I should go, I’m sorry for disturbing you.”

“Negan, please don’t go…” Blake begged, once against passing the threshold to comfort him; her heart breaking as he flinched away.

“No it’s okay…it was a mistake coming here…Happy New Year Peac-Blake.”

With that Negan left, never once looking back. But Blake watched him leave and with every agonizing second she was desperate to call him back. To hold him, kiss him again. Tell him she was sorry, that she wanted to fix everything just as much as he did. But she didn’t.

Instead Blake retreated to the quiet isolation of her lonely apartment, the New Year celebrations playing out on the muted TV screen that illuminated her living room. And with silent tears, the blonde moved to pick up her vibrating cell phone. Sniffling away the ache in her chest as watery eyes read the text from a man that didn’t deserve her. Didn’t treat her right and certainly didn’t love her as much as Negan ever would.

David. She felt sick the more she thought about it. The man would never be satisfied with anything she did. She would never be good enough in his eyes. And yet she’d had stayed. Put it with everything he did and said, never once striking back.

There was no going back now that Negan knew. No chance to explain. To tell him that by losing him; had she then realized how much she loved him. That the love was still there…

He’d been gone mere seconds and Blake already missed him. This was their second chance and she had let it walk out and leave her alone. And this time she had a feeling he was gone for good.

[starlessskies94]

Baby it’s Cold Outside Part 2

Negan/BlakeAU Part One

@neganandblake You asked for a part two lovely and here it is! I hope it doesn’t disappoint. It’s a little long, I got carried away. 

(GIF credit belongs to owners)

Part Two

No one had ever heard the wind blow like this before, howling and screeching against the Sanctuary's structure like a pack of wild wolves. It was getting late and the snow continued to fall. It hadn’t stopped all day and it was getting deeper. So deep in fact that it was getting harder to get around.

The Saviours, settlers and workers alike all having no choice but to stay inside until the storm blew over, they only hoped it wouldn’t last too long. Food was running low as were their medical supplies and ammo. But the heavy snow fall had been relentless. Piling up just under the window sills. The cold would still grip on the windows and the walls; causing a chilling draft to float through the air inside. 

Blake sat by the window silently watching the white flakes falling from the sky. Her breath lingering by her lips as she took a breath. 

The main hall was filled with people trying to keep warm. Families huddled up together by the small makeshift fires they had going. Some even sparing a can of two of food they had, with others less-fortunate that used up the last of their supplies or points. 

It was heartwarming to see the community come together at such a hard time. The uncertainly and fear of not see it through to spring still lingering in the air. 

Though no one had actually had the courage to say it out loud. The blonde watched as the double doors by the balcony opened with a rumble against the storm outside.  

Simon and a few other Saviours stepping in from the cold, as they moved close together to discuss their findings on their last desperate attempt to find to supplies.

They were the last group to keep looking it seemed. Simon and Arat, still not ready to give up hope just yet. 

She didn’t need to hear what they saying to know it had been another lost cause. The looks of defeat on their faces was more than enough to realize that. 

Though it seemed they still weren’t prepared to call it a day just yet, tucking in the many layers of clothing to keep warm before heading back into the icy blizzard. The hall falling quiet once again as they left. The wind echoing throughout the open space as the heavy doors opened and closed with a slam. A few flecks of snow finding their way inside and rapidly melting into small pools of water on the floor. 

In the weeks of hardship, many had turned to the fearless leader of the Sanctuary for help. Negan always upbeat and confident about his people’s survival throughout the harsh winter. In the time since he’d greeted her in her room that night; Blake had found that she’d slept beside the dark-haired Savior more nights than she could count. 

It had started as a silly joke, Negan always finding another viable excuse to sleep beside her; holding her as he did. At first it was because he claimed to have a fear of the dark and only she could calm him.

Then he’d accidentally locked himself out of his room and apparently didn’t have anywhere else to sleep. 

There was even the time Blake had come down with a mild cold and he’d refused to leave her side...only to then become sick himself.

She wasn’t sure what was going on between her and Negan but she did know he’d been spending less time with his wives and more with her. She knew people talked about how much time they spent together. She also knew she didn’t care what they thought.

In her mind she wasn’t doing anything wrong. Her mind froze in thought as the familiar sound of heavy footsteps caught her attention on the walk way above.

The very man she’d just been thinking about, the king come to check in on his kingdom as usual. Taking in the determination to keep going; just as he’d wanted. Just as he encouraged. He had every faith that his people could make it. Hell they’d survived this long. 

His brown eyes searching the sea of people till they met hers. A knowing smile growing across his face as he gazed at her below in the crowd.

Her poor tormented heart skipping in her chest as she tried not to smile back. But his very essence was addictive, his smile infectious. 

As he disappeared further across the walkway her green eyes followed. Her whole body trembling as she tried so hard not to react to his presence. 

A feat that proved even harder when the head Savior stalked along towards the balcony. Tapping Lucille against it’s metal frame before leaning back on the heels of his heavy boots.

“Ladies and Gentleman; I do believe we’re in the middle of a crisis here. All that heavy shit falling outside is really starting to become a pain in the ball sack.” He declared stomping his foot loudly to really bring across his point. “I can tell it is really starting to get you fine folks down. No work, no food...now that really sucks ass but I am happy to inform you, that I am here with a solution to all your problems!”

Blake watched in curiosity as Negan spoke; the lead Savior declaring that he was rounding up more groups of Saviours to head out in search of supplies. And that he was planning to go with them to ensure they found everything they needed. But instead of relief and hope as everyone else was clearing feeling at Negan’s words. She only felt concern. Worry at the thought of him going out in such a heavy storm. 

The dark-haired leader tilted his head to glance down towards her, as if already reading her thoughts as they flashed through her mind. A smug smile and wink of unruly confidence sent her way, breaking her frown as she broke into a sly smirk.

Later into the night the wind howled on as it tapped away at Blake’s window along with the icy grip of the horrendous cold. The blonde tucked away in her bed, shivering against the freezing chill in the air. She sat silently watching the snow fall; the flakes hitting the glass sliding down the pane gathering on the window sill. 

She’d been awake all night listening for word that Negan and his men had come back. Her worry almost too much to bare the more she watched the storm turn that much more severe. Her toes were becoming numb from the cold, even under her thick blanket. Her gas light slowly dying out into darkness. 

Rubbing her tired eyes, her sight was growing blurry the longer she delayed sleep. The hours continued ticking by, the crying wind never once fading. The caramel-blonde still sat, waiting... watching.

Until finally her heart stopping at the sound of her door clicking open, the soft steps of sock covered feet trudging in through the doorway; there he stood. 

“Room for one more?” He asked quietly. A burst of relief flooding through her as she smiled.

No words were spoken as he crawled into bed beside her, draping the covers around them to preserve what little heat Blake had left. 

His arms instinctively wrapping around her as they always did. Her head rested upon his chest. Calmed by the gentle steady beats of his heart. Her slender hand slowly reaching down to intertwine with his. 

“Don’t leave again...Okay?” She whispered. 

“I’m not going anywhere Peaches...” He promised.

Tag List: @neganandblake

[starlessskies94]

Gone. Lost and Forever Broken.

Welp I said I wanted to write something sad and damn is this sad. I don’t know why but I just love writing angst. Very sorry to poor Negan and Blake though. 

@neganandblake I’m sorry I hurt your babies but I hope you like this super sad oneshot <3

(Gif Credit belongs to owners)

Gone. Lost and Forever Broken.

He didn’t know what he’d been expecting. After all this time for things to maybe fix themselves? It was a fragile hope even for him. But a foolish part of him had dared to believe it. Another failure, another screw up to add to the list. And this time he hadn’t even cheated...it was instead the simple truth that the love had just gone. Had died way like a candle slowly extinguishing its flame. A love that once burned bright and hot as the sun, untamed as a strong wind that had eventually just faded away.

He watched her silently; pacing around the room as she did.  Moving back and forth between the cardboard boxes she placed her belongings in. Clothes, books even her favorite mug all attentively being placed into them before she disappeared back into the bedroom.

Her heart and head both racing at a speed that she couldn’t even keep up with. She had expected heartbreak, she had expected tears. She had even expected anger to some extent but what Blake hadn’t expected was silence. And it was killing her. To see Negan so silent and unresponsive as she packed her things. Their once happy marriage now in shambles. Broken and left rot as if it meant nothing.

The blonde sat on the bed; taking to moment to collect herself. Her mind running a mile a minute. How the hell did they get here? Thinking back, had it always been this bad? This toxic…the fighting and the anger. She couldn’t understand it. No one had cheated. No one had lied or hurt the other. The love had just disappeared. They’d both been so young; so ready to start their life together that maybe they’d just been too blinded to see the cracks. Creeping along the surface like a shattering mirror until it had been too late.

She shook away the tears; not letting herself mourn something that had already died so long ago. Forcing herself to her feet as she took a hold of the last pile of clothes and moved back into the living room. Negan still sat by the kitchen counter, alone with her boxes. Half empty glass hanging from the tips of fingers as he pretended that the dark liquor was helping this along in any way. It didn’t. They both knew that; but he continued to drink nonetheless, after all what else did he have to do. All the while watching as another wife walked out of his life. His tired bloodshot eyes following her movements when she dropped the last of her clothes into the box and sealed it shut. Slender hands shaking as she once again willed herself not to cry.

He didn’t offer to help take the boxes down to her car; he couldn’t bring himself to ask. Couldn’t bring himself to help her leave him all the sooner. If anything a pathetic part of him wanted to draw it out. Have just these last few moments with her, even if they were slowly killing him.

Seeing the grim look on her face, his breaths felt strained. He knew what she was about to say and if he was honest, he’d rehearsed this conversation a million times in his head. It’s just that a small part of him had actually believed that he’d never have to hear the words out loud.

She sat by his side and glanced into his eyes. Her sadness drowning the green light in her own. She took a trembling breath before she spoke, breaking eye contact in the hopes of making the inevitable words easier to say. It didn’t.

“Negan…It’s better this way.” She uttered. “It should never have come to this. We…we never should have let it go on like this.”

He could tell the words were killing her, breaking her as she spoke and yet with how numb he was feeling both from his own heartbreak and the alcohol; he couldn’t find the strength to care anymore.

Bringing the glass to his lips; his hissed a little as the dark liquid burned down his throat. Wiping his mouth with back of his hand as he laid the glass back down on the counter.

“I’m sorry I ruined your life. Maybe you shouldn’t have married me.” He spat bitterly. But he wasn’t angry at Blake. They both knew that; he was angry at himself and at Blake, at their many nights of arguments and screaming matches no one ever won. The days he longed to hold her but grimacing as she pulled way just at the slightest touch of him. The endless excuses of forgotten anniversaries and date nights until eventually the excuses ran out and they just stopped trying.

“Don’t be sorry. It was no one’s fault.”

That was lie and Negan knew it. They were both at fault. For giving up. For admitting it was hopeless. He looked back at her, this vision before him that he had once loved so much. And now all he saw was a ghost, a mere reflection of the woman he had married. The look so desperate and pleading as he gingerly took a hold of her hand for what would undoubtedly be the last time.

“When was it that you realized that you didn’t love me anymore?” He didn’t know what possessed him to ask such a question and judging by the tears straining Blake’s cheeks; she hadn’t either. Her cold numb fingers gently squeezing his hand tightly.

“It was never up to me.” She sobbed. “We tried. We did but it…” His eyes flicker to her face when she hiccups another sob. “It was just too hard.”

Negan pulls away coldly; snatching his hand back from her grip as if it stings to touch her. A though the hurt flashes across her face, she understands. She herself sitting back as the ache spreads throughout her core; clutching at her heart and her lungs, an iron grip squeezing taking her breath away. But again Negan does nothing. Says nothing. He rises silently from his seat, stepping around from the kitchen and towards the door. His head hung low with eyes locked towards the floor.

“I think you’d better leave now.” He’s done with this, the need to drag this out any longer. It’s hurting too much. He just wants her gone now. For the ghost of his past to move on and leave him to wallow in his own pity. And thankfully she does.

Though she cries and utters frivolous apologies as she does, he still doesn’t react. Tries so hard not to care. Not to feel.

The door closes and he falls. Collapses to his knees as the walls cave in. The tears, the heart ache, the raw pain. It’s alive and in full force. Mourning for his lost love, for the man that was too weak to save it. Gone. Lost and forever broken.

[starlessskies94]

The Mark of a Soulmate (Negan/BlakeAU) Chapter Seven

It’s been a while since my last chapter so I hope this doesn’t disappoint. Thank you as always to the gorgeous @neganandblake​ for your support Lovely. You’re amazing! <3

Chapter Seven

Blake stood in front of her mirror blankly looking back the dressed up woman in front of her that she was struggling to recognize.

She hated looking like this...the makeup, the hair, the tight fitting dresses that sometimes restricted her breathing. It was all fake. Not one piece of the facade reflecting the real woman underneath. She’d have been perfectly happy with her comfy t-shirt and sweat pants.

But she was part of a brand. A face that represented perfection to the people that gazed upon it.

Laying on her bed; she desperately grasped at any excuse she could think of that would get her out of going to this launch party. None came to mind that would be acceptable for her management. She was already on thin ice for her employment after weeks of skipping work.

Forgotten meetings and scheduled photo shoots; runway shows she’d pretended to be sick for so, she didn’t have to attend.

It was becoming harder and harder to care about any of it. Her mood constantly spiraling into a cold depth of numbing aches and pains; heart breaking every time she looked to her wrist. 

Negan...

Where the hell was he?! And why hadn’t he found her yet. Was she not good enough, not worthy enough to finally find the love she’d been promised by that damn mark on her skin? 

It felt as though it was mocking her at times. A constant reminder that she was alone. That perhaps she would always be that way. That maybe the weeks of research she had been doing was all for nothing. What if he had already had someone else.

It had been known that sometimes people would fall for someone that wasn’t their soulmate, but it was a still a fierce long lasting love that many couples had cherished well into their old age. And other times it wouldn’t prove enough and the relationships would crumple. If that was the case for her soulmate and he did have someone he loved; of course Blake would be happy for him. But where would that leave her? 

She was so tired of obsessing over a man she didn’t even know. It was getting to the point wasn’t sleeping properly, eating an entire meal had become a challenge for her to ever finish; as her appetite was always waning. And the thought of keeping the search for her soulmate going, was beginning to feel like more trouble than it was worth. 

Reluctantly she pulled herself up from her bed, quickly smoothing the creases out of her dress. Adding a last touch here and there to her straightened hair; paired with her rehearsed smile she’d carry with her most of the night. And after one last flick of her golden locks she was ready to go. 

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As Blake stepped into the center of the launch party; the only thing she wanted to do was to go home. 

The photographers; the journalists, designers, models and management teams...Blake didn’t care about any of it. It was a world she no longer wanted to be a part of.  

Looking around, it was like seeing it through a fresh pair of eyes for the first time in years. The privilege, the arrogance and conceit. The unrealistic levels of feigned perfection, it was toxic and Blake couldn’t understand how she’d let herself be taken in by all of it for so long without seeing the true ugliness hidden behind the camera. 

She didn’t even have Tara to ground her from the sea of chaos that surrounded her. She hadn’t been invited; another thing that angered her. Tara’s position as a makeup artist clearly not deemed important enough to include her on the guest list. When in fact her craft was just; if not more important as everyone else’s that worked on the sets or the runways. It wasn’t fair.

The flash of cameras was blinding along was loud thumping music as more guests pushed their way through the bustling crowds. Elbows bumping into Blake almost knocking her over. 

The clinking of champagne glasses echoed with idle chatter and laughter,all washed into white noise as the blonde imagined herself anywhere but where she was. 

Perhaps she could sneak out? Surely no one would notice. She’d attended as agreed, she’d fulfilled the agreement of her contract. Job done. But just as she moved to eye the exit, she was quickly grabbed by the wrist. 

“Ah Blake! Sweetheart finally you’ve arrived!” It was Damon, her boss. An older gentleman, dressing in a suit that practically screamed wealth; paired with a dark red silk tie and designer cuff links, sweeping back his receding grey hair the man had clearly dyed a mousy brown in an attempt to look younger than he was. 

Blake flashed him another well practiced fake smile, but from the frown on his brow; he clearly wasn’t buying it. Leaning in close she could almost feel his harsh breath as he whispered lowly in her ear.

“Get your ass up to my office now!” He hissed. Not giving her time reply as he then proceeded to brag her by the arm up the stairs towards the large wooden door by the landing. 

The blonde flinched as he slammed the door closed before releasing his grip on her, storming over towards his desk. His hands resting on the cold surface as he huffed a deep frustrated sigh from his flared nostrils.

Blake stayed by the door, the party downstairs now muffled by the closed door. Green watering orbs watching Damon’s every move as he poured himself a drink; turning from the window to address her. 

“Blake...” He started, leaning forward, arms resting on the back of his office chair; fingers impatiently tapping against the glass of scotch in his hand. 

“We’ve been through a lot you and I. Hell I’m the one that discovered you. Always thought you could make it in this business.” the man paused, another sigh leaving him. “But you’re just not hitting the mark anymore. You’re late, sloppy, giving excuse after excuse. And I’m getting to the point that I can’t keep lying for you anymore.”

“To be honest, I’m starting to wonder if your looks are fading because of it. You’re not taking care of yourself anymore. But I don’t have time to babysit my clients. You know that, I said as much when I hired you.”

Blake couldn’t believe what she was hearing, it was clear she was struggling and of all people she would’ve expect Damon to understand and give her time. Evidently she had expected wrong.

“We have a standard in this business kid, how else do you think these guys and girls sell the clothes they model or the products they endorse. It’s all about the brand and you have to look perfect while you’re doing it and I’m afraid you’re just not anymore.” Damon finished his drink with one final sip before putting the glass down and stepping out from behind his desk. Long tailored legs striding towards Blake as he placed a hand on her shoulder. 

His patronizing tone grinding on Blake’s nerves now the longer he looked at her.

“It was good while it lasted, but I’m afraid not everyone is cut out for this world sweetheart, I’m letting you. Your contact terminated immediately. I hope you can understand.” He patted her shoulder but quickly snatched it back when Blake slapped his hand away.

“Oh I understand!” She spat. “This obsession for perfection is ridiculous Damon. None of it is real! You pin and tuck everything to point I can’t fucking breath! You paint so many layers of makeup on my skin that it’s hard to tell it’s me, no woman looks like that! It’s not right and if that’s your idea of perfection then I’m glad you’re firing me!”

To Blake’s utter disgust, Damon simply scoffed in her face. An idle cocky smile widening across his face.

“They all get bitter when they realize they’re not as pretty as they used to be. Don’t worry sweetheart, I’m sure you can find employment somewhere else.” Damon joked sarcastically. “Perhaps somewhere that doesn’t require you to think too much, I know with this job ‘standing and looking pretty’ was already a stretch for you to remember all at once dear.”

“Fuck you Damon.”

“Enjoy the party Blake...might as well considering it’s your last.”

Blake trembled with anger at Damon’s cruel words, a chuckle echoing behind her as he stepped back out towards the party to greet his guests. 

Her bottom lip quivering as she refused to let herself cry. Her pride too stubborn to let anyone see she was upset. 

Turning on her heel she also rejoined the party, but surrounding people blurred and bled into the a mix of colours with no faces that seemed familiar. 

The blonde dropped herself on a lonely stool by the bar, raised fingers calling for the bartender as she order her drink. A bitter taste washing down her throat as she threw it back before ordering another. Her throat and chest warming and numbing all at the same time from the booze. 

Stray tears escaping down her cheeks as she wallowed in the depths of darkness she could feel herself falling into. But she didn’t care. She was tired. So tired of pretending. Pretending that she cared about the job she’d just lost, pretending that it didn’t hurt every time she thought about Negan living his life with someone else. Or trying to find the man that might not even want her. But most of all she was tired of pretending she was happy...

She honestly didn’t know who she was pretending for anymore. But she did know she was done with it. Maybe she really was destined to be alone, a lost soul wandering forever looking for a soulmate that didn’t want to be found. 

Message received universe. Thanks for nothing...She knew that now. 

She was finally realizing what it felt like to hit rock bottom and she was more than willing to give in to it. She’d noticed the side-glances and sneered looks from the guests the more she drank, her lip curling in disgust for their unwanted judgement. She didn’t need to sit there and take part in their pathetic game as they looked down their noses at her from their high horses. 

And so she chose to leave, but not before leaning across the bar to snatch hold of the bottle of scotch she’d been drinking. Her slender fingers wrapped around the neck of the glass bottle clutching it tightly as she stumbled towards the door. 

Her actions on everyone’s lips that saw her leaving, Blake giving on-lookers a bitter laced laugh as she passed. She was done with this life, these people and their corrupt world. 

And as she walked out the door, she didn’t regret a thing.

Tag List: @thetruebornwildchild @mychemicalimagines @fanficsharing @island-end

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged!

[starlessskies94]

One of Us Now (NeganAU)

This just a random thing that popped in my head while ill with the flu; it’s kinda Negan & Blake related except there’s no Blake in this if that makes sense I have no idea...also I know the title sucks but I’m sick and my mind is currently cloudy with cold medicine and I wrote this on my phone so I apologise if the edit is weird 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ @neganandblake ♥️♥️

Heavy boots fall on broken wood and dry leaves. The evening air piercing with a cool wind that shivers up the spine.

Thick blood runs down dark wood and cold metal before dripping to the ground.

Fingers trembling as the bat is passed from one hand to another. But it isn’t from fear; it’s pure adrenaline. Still freshly coursing through veins as it did from the first swing.

It is a familiar feeling; a icy grip that surfaces every time. Only now it seems to subside quicker than it did before.

Negan doesn’t know if that’s a good thing but embraces it anyway. A deep breath leaving him becoming all the more heavier as he walks away from his latest victim.

Setting out with an army of Saviours; a cloud from dusty roads is left to linger into the air with the early morning rays breaking into a new day.

Another community brought to their knees as the others before. More supply lines secured; but still it isn’t enough. It’s usual routine as they pull up to an abandoned house; the grass as dead as the shuffling bodies that move along the overgrown foliage.

Swiftly taken down as quickly as they attempt to strike out at the living.

The lead Saviour himself naturally taking the lead as he steps inside the decaying building; dark eyes sharp for anything of use to take home.

His steps ever cautious up the wooden steps that creak agonisingly against his weight.

Reaching the top floor he freezes; the growls and groans of the dead catching his attention as it leads him to the master bedroom. His grip on Lucille tightening with every step the closer he gets.

The sickening sounds of tearing flesh and drenched bloody grabbing hands; signals the signs of a fresh kill.

A couple; not long dead. But already half eaten. Poor bastards.

Negan kills the walkers with no hesitation; turning on his heel and heading back towards the stairs. But then...a single sound stops him.

A sound so faint he almost misses it. Trusting his instincts he follows them to yet another bedroom; this one much smaller. Barred by a thick wooden dresser in front of the door. He removes it easily, waiting a second before venturing into the room itself and when he does his heart practically shatters.

Tiny hands and big watery eyes greet him. Sniffles echo in the silence after fearful tears.

Damn. She’s just a kid; not much older then two years old he thinks as he takes another step toward the terrified toddler.

Standing in the crib; she looks up at him like he’s the most curious thing she’s ever seen but soon hiccups as another cry fills her eyes.

Negan’s quick to her side to soothe her; Lucille dropped and forgotten on the bedroom floor.

‘Hey there.” He whispers calmly. “Look at you; what is your name angel?”

He asks knowing he’ll get no response but the sound of his voice seems to calm the infant, her eyes becoming droopy as her head cuddles into his shoulder.

Gently reaching into her crib he pulls at the blanket that was wrapped around her; his eyes reading over the stitched name in bright pink letters.

Mia.

He soon realises that the girls parents must be the ones in the master bedroom; their last attempt to save her daughter by trying the draw the walkers away by blocking the door.

A heavy weight hangs in his chest as he thinks of what might’ve happened had he not arrived when he did. When the walkers had finished devouring her parents; would the monsters have then gone back for her?

He doesn’t waste time thinking about it as the little one falls asleep in his arms and it’s in that moment he knows there’s no way in hell he’s leaving her.

“Come on beansprout; you’re coming back with us.” He decides. “You’re one of us now. I’m gonna keep ya safe, I promise.”

[starlessskies94]

The Mark of a Soulmate (Negan/BlakeAU) Chapter Six

Thank you as always to @neganandblake​ you’re amazing. And thank you for the warm welcome back, I have missed writing and I hope this chapter doesn’t disappoint.

(GIF credit belongs to owners)

Chapter Six

Negan couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten a proper meal, never mind gotten a decent nights sleep. But he did know that he’d somehow managed to put away two glasses of whiskey before the waitress had even had a chance to show him and Simon to a table.

And he wasn’t planning on slowing down any time soon. Leaning against the bar and ordering yet another glass of whisky.

Who was Simon kidding anyway? Actually thinking he could save his friend and drag him back from the brink of the rock bottom, Negan had so willingly thrown himself into. He was a loss cause and it was time his business partner realized that.

Pulling back the sleeve on his tattooed arm; he bit back a bitter scoff. Poor Blake; given a pathetic drunk like him. What had the girl done to deserve that he wondered.

Letting the material fall back in place; he felt across his pockets for this wallet to pay for his drink; stumbling slightly on unsteady feet as he collided with the small frame of a blonde passing him.

“Sorry doll, didn’t see ya there.” he quickly apologized, turning on heel to check he hadn’t caused the poor girl to spill her drink.

 The blonde turned not really paying much attention to him. “It’s fine.” She assured him. “My fault, don’t worry about it.” 

And with that she was gone, slowly walking back towards what he assumed was the direction of her table. But for a split second he lingered, for the look of her seemed awfully familiar. And for a moment he could’ve sworn he’d seen her on a billboard or magazine cover. She was gorgeous, he could tell that much from just a glimpse and it wouldn’t surprise him if she really was a model of some sort. 

 He imagined what would happen if a girl like that had somehow ended up being his mystery soulmate. But even he knew life wasn’t that kind. The bitterness of the thought leaving a bad taste in his mouth, he was all to happy to wash away with another generous sip of whiskey before he too walked on back to his table.

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Throwing himself heavily down into the seat, Negan placed the already half empty glass down onto the table. 

Only for Simon to pick it up and move it away. 

So we’re doing this now? He thought resentfully, brown eyes glaring at his friend.

“I was planning on drinking that...” Negan hissed, forcefully reaching across for the glass. But that only darkened the look in Simon’s eyes. He managed to get the man talking a little in car but now it seemed he’d once again begun to close up, retreating straight for the solace of alcohol the moment they’d arrived in town and Simon was beginning to lose his patience. 

He called across to the nearest waitress, requesting that she take the whiskey back and bring them only water for the remainder of their stay. Much Negan’s irritation. 

“What the fuck is your problem Si?” He seethed, leaning back in his chair. “I mean the last time I checked, I’m a grown-ass man that makes my own choices. Why can’t you just let me live my life?” 

“You think this is any kind of life Negan?!” Simon bit back angrily. “You carry on like this and you’re gonna be dead within a year.”

His words didn’t seem to faze Negan, if it was possible he looked even less interested than before.

“Why is it... you think I need saving? Huh? I made this fucking mess, why not let me wallow in it?”

“Did you let me wallow in it?” Simon asked honestly. And in that instant, he knew he’d gotten Negan’s attention. Twenty years. Twenty years they’d had each other’s backs. And in the early years when Simon’s parents had died in a car crash, he had wanted to die right along with them. Drinking himself into a pit of despair; praying that if he had given in to it long enough; his pain would ease. 

But when he was right on the edge of drinking him into oblivion, Negan he had been the only one with the strong determination to bring his brother back.

He owed him. But that wasn’t the only reason he wanted to talk some sense into the man sat before him. 

“You still got a life worth livin’ Negan. Find that girl...she’s there for a reason.” He tried, every word cautious and gentle for fear of setting him off again. “Hell if you won’t get sober for me and the business; then get sober for her.”

“She ain’t gonna want me Si...” Negan uttered, his hand instinctively moving to the mark on his arm. Almost burning with the dread of Blake seeing him like this. 

But Simon didn’t let up, he knew the man before mess and now he was seeing a chance at bringing him back from the dead.

“You can’t decide that without knowing her, that ain’t fair to her or you.” 

He had a point, Negan knew he did and damn if it wasn’t annoying as all hell. Maybe his salvation had been a long time coming; he’d just been too stubborn to see it. And maybe Blake; whoever she was, was undoubtedly thinking about him just as much as he was thinking about her. 

She wouldn’t want him living like this, wouldn’t want him slowly killing himself before they’d even had the chance to know one another. That would be selfish of him and he didn’t want to be like that anymore. 

When the waitress placed the water on the table, Negan wordlessly took the glass and drank. A deep sigh of defeat seeming to release every fiber of anger he’d held on to for so long since the divorce. 

Simon smiled knowingly before ordering what was probably the first real meal Negan had eaten for days. But he let him do it, drinking down the rest of his water.

And finally after months of anger and hatred burning in him; he actually felt calm. Simon had his brother back. And it was time for Negan to take control of his life again.

Tag List:  @thetruebornwildchild @mychemicalimagines @fanficsharing @island-end

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[starlessskies94]

The Mark of a Soulmate (Negan/BlakeAU) Chapter Five

So I know I have some explaining to do! I’m sooooo sorry I’ve been so MIA my writers block has been no joke and it has set me back confidence wise in everything I write. I genuinely hope this chapter doesn’t disappoint because it’s been so long since I’ve posted anything and also because I don’t want a story to suffer because of my skills as a writer.

I am proud of these stories so far and I’m terrified of ruining them with bad writing. So I hope ya’ll like this as I’m really nervous about posting it.

@neganandblake miss you lovely and I’m sorry I’ve fallen so behind on reading your incredible stories as well as @thamberlina’s I feel awful but I’m back and ready to dive back my own and your stories! Much love to you both!! <3

(Gif credit belongs to owners)

Chapter Five

No one had seen hide nor hair of Blake for two days after the runway show. She’d been keeping to herself as of late; completely lost in the idea of finding her soulmate. And after endless; unanswered calls and messages; the latter mostly from Tara. Blake had firmly decided to shut out the outside world. 

Her once neat bedroom, a whirlwind of papers and notes scattered across her bedside tables with her laptop sat in front of her. Her slender fingers quickly tapping away at the keys.

She’d spent days going through pages of guest lists from the shows. Employee profiles from each photo shoot. She’d even checked the names of the security teams.

All in the hopes of finding a man named Negan. And even after all her efforts, she’d still come up with nothing.

She’d expected it to be so easy once her mark had appeared. But it was proving to be something of a cruel reminder on her arm that she was still alone. Maybe destined to stay that way, forever to live with the painful truth that she was given a soulmate she could never have.  Because in all honesty; she was in fact losing all hope of ever finding this man.

Every dead end of blank faces and meaningless names; slowly chipping away at both her optimism and her sanity. 

She needed a break before she really drove herself crazy. 

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Driving herself into town had seemed like a good idea at first before leaving the constricting walls of her ridiculously disorderly bedroom. But now, sitting at a table in the town’s smallest bar and grill she could find; she was greatly regretting ever venturing out when she could’ve so easily spent so much more time researching. 

But still, she supposed the break had been overdue and the dull ache that had been thudding in the back of her head had finally begun to ease. 

Perhaps she had been staring at that laptop screen for longer than she should’ve. To the point she was starting to see dots when she blinked.

No... this was have to do for a while. It wasn’t like Negan was going anywhere and she figured she’d more than earned the beer she was nursing for more than an hour now. 

Quickly taking a glance at her phone, she felt a pang of guilt for not replying to Tara sooner. The brunette texting several times in the passed thirty minutes to make sure she was okay. 

Blake replied as politely as she could both to let her friend know she was okay but didn’t really feel up to talking at the moment. Fortunately being as loving and understanding as Tara was; she swiftly texted back that she’d give Blake all the time she needed but was always a simple call away should she change her mind and Blake was more than grateful for that. Slipping her phone away as she continued with her pitiful wallowing of feeling sorry for herself.

Her beer becoming warm as she took another sip, wincing at the taste as green orbs wandered about the room at the crowds of people. 

The ambiance of clinking glasses, forks on plates; and gentle rock music playing from the jukebox mixed with idle chatter fully surrounding her. 

She figured it couldn’t hurt to stay a little longer, perhaps even grab herself some food while she was there. But first she needed another drink. 

Sauntering over towards the bar; Blake mentally ran through her order as she debated over what she wanted to eat. A perfectly cooked steak and fries, complimented nicely with bar’s finest bottle of ice cold beer. 

The bartender giving her a warm small as she gave and paid for her order, taking the bottle before returning with a smile of her own. Thanking him she turned back towards her table, her breath gasping from her lungs with a muffled ‘Oooff’ as she collided with a broad chest. 

“Sorry doll, didn’t see ya there.” The stranger apologized, turning on heel to check he hadn’t caused the poor girl to spill her drink. 

“It’s fine.” She assured him. “My fault, don’t worry about it.” 

Blake smiled before moving to go back to her seat, not bothering to pay the man anymore attention. Sipping her beer and leaning back in her chair. Had she looked back however; she might have noticed the man watching her walk away, before turning his attention back to the bartender serving him his third glass of whiskey.

Tag List: @thetruebornwildchild @mychemicalimagines @island-end @fanficsharing

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