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#turns out my family isnt gonna come visit me for my birthday so im gonna be all alone again lol #not like they cant come either and i suggested it the other week but i guess its just. not important #which i get that. birthdays are p superficial but its nice to want to feel like ur family cares at least #and i mean they do. they provide so much for me and i appreciate them for that but like #you see other families and the way they show their love and affection and u kinda realize that its not rly there in yours.#idek what i want anymore ahah. i guess just someone to make an effort on their own accord #bc they Want to . bc they want to be there for me or bc they just want to be a part of my life #and i realize thats so selfish ik ik ik but i cant help having these thoughts #its the one day of the year i feel like i can have fun for myself and i just dont get that #idk #but one of my friends from home msged me and he said he wants to come visit and i started 2 cry bc that means a lot to me #hes so nice nd thoughtful and i ;-;#should start focusing more on the ppl who do care for me than the ones who feel like theyre there bc they have to be #im just being dramatic rn ill get over it lol #lgtalks #negative f

hi im depressed

#i need to like. see a therapist #too bad that's never going to happen lol #negative f #txt

i feel so horrible and i literally dont even know why. just completely useless angst and i so hope that im so frantic and emotional because im pmsing and not because im losing my mind and am on a downward spiral that will end in my untimely demise

#txt #menstruation f #negative f

i have been getting such hella anxiety and extreme mood swings the past couple days and oh man. it fucking sucks

#negative f #txt

the latest chapter in the ongoing saga of why my life sucks: im extremely sad all the time for literally no reason, i have zero appetite, my fucking jaw has started clicking every time i open my mouth and it hurts and gives me headaches, and i have the irrational feeling that im on a downward spiral that's going to end in my death

#negative f #txt

hi i feel panicky and anxious and nauseous and i kind of want to rip my skin off but i cant really do that so im going to go to bed and try not to burst into flames. good night stay hydrated

#txt #negative f

#csa #sexual abuse #abuse i moved to the town i currently live in in summer 2014 and soon after i realized i live a lot closer to where they live. and i hear the name of the town 10x more often. so i think about them, that much more often, and usually it’s a brief “well shit” feeling but sometimes it’s more than that and i Die

#clover text #vague but not abt anyone i follow or that follows me obv. if you're reading this it's not you basically #abuse blog #negative f

hi i wanna die

#txt #negative f

#negative f

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