You know what I love? Positive permanent framing.
You will grow. There will be joy. The sun will always shine again and the rain will always fall again. We are people and people are all capable of happiness, and you will go out and find it.
The framing of these concepts is positive, and more permanent than "you could find joy" "you can grow". It's all in the modal verbs.
However, I feel like I see a lot of permanent negative framing too.
You will learn to hate your body. You will be depressed and it will feel like the end of the world ((note: this statement MAY be true BUT it is important that it continues with a positive. This paragraph is about statements which are not balanced by a positive frame, and not targeted as "I understand your pain".))
I will learn to hate my body - why? Why must I? Must we tell our children that "Regardless of my encouragement, the world will make you hate yourself, because it hates you because you are hateable. And that's bad, but tough, because that's who you are."
Terrible. I do not feel encouraged. I feel insulted and upset and hopeless. If I EVER frame something like this to the children I teach, shoot me.
"Regardless of my encouragement, don't let the world make you hate yourself, whatever it says, because some people want you to be hateable, and they will hate you, and that's not your fault, and it might hurt, but it's okay, because that's not all of who you are."
I talk to my kids about how they frame their thoughts a lot, because it's easy to become stuck in negative framing (thanks, depression) which takes a lot of work to remove (and I am so thankful I have put in that effort and am still putting it in) and which will destroy a person's hope, happiness and esteem. Just think about this classic example:
I can't do it -> I can't do that yet
Or
I can't do it so it's pointless -> I am going to really, properly try and the trying is enough
Can you see why I think it's so important to have positive framing in not just our words but in how we actually think? Next time you see something which discusses negative emotions, spare a moment to re frame it if you can, and take away a positive emotion.
I hate my body, only sometimes, but mostly my body is here as part of me, and sometimes I hate Me too, but I won't hate me always, because I am trying, goddammit, and that's enough.
You ARE (k)enough.