#negative h

[kuwata-kun]

i mean pictures of you still make me cry because you’re gorgeous but you know

thats

okay

[kuwata-kun]

tfw ur havin a good time and then u remember ur single and haave had 1 relationship and you fall in love with unattainable people and nobody will ever love you :)

[kuwata-kun]

i dont want to let anyone else into my life

theyll just abandon me too

[kuwata-kun]

do friends ever stay? what is it like when people don’t just get tired of you? 

am I not something enough? am I too much something? 

i’m scared i forgot how to make lasting friends after a certain age

and im gonna go through life mostly alone. 

im going to get to 90 and never have accomplished anything in life

im scared that im never going to learn how to be normal

im scared that dropping out after having a mental breakdown completely prevented me from completing school and doing anything i love with my life

i wish my mom was here so i could talk to her about all this

[kuwata-kun]

Had a dream about my mom. Living close to these fires, had an attack on protesters the other day, just feeling very depressed about the state of things today. Everything feels hopeless. 

[kuwata-kun]

I was all hyped for getting ready for school and shit this week and now I’m just sort of depressed.

But of course

I’m supposed to be selfless all the time and never do anything for myself. 

So I’m just a dumping ground.

[kuwata-kun]

I’m hurting so much and its so hard to want to keep living when I feel like the best of my life has already passed and I’ll never feel better. 

[kuwata-kun]

im tired of not being able to help my crying sisters

im tired of seeing my family in pain and not being able to do anything

im tired of having to keep this to myself because i have no parents and the only siblings who would understand are pre-occupied

im just tired

im tired of trauma