toxic shame type shit will teach you to hide parts of yourself and treat them as hazardous waste, even when they're completely benign, and the journey is overcoming that nonsense and believing that every part of you is worth love and care regardless of others' judgments.
but some things are a lot less popular or socially acceptable than others. and as much as it sucks, optics is a huge part of all of this. arguably we can't ever know the true, Real shape of a trait, only the various reflections of it as perceived by ourselves and others. so you want to use the language that feels true to you, while making people understand why it's true to you as opposed to defaulting to their personal understanding (which is often very different).
i come out in 2013 and i have to explain what all the words mean. its 2023 and despite the fact that people know the words that come out of my mouth, they still don't understand what i mean. maybe i "shouldn't have to" explain or defend myself with "the right people", but how often are you going to find someone who just gets you? you have to compromise eventually. but sometimes it's too much.
like, there's an extent to which it feels like, you're going to be alone for a long time if you don't suck it up and explain yourself even when you don't fucking want to any more.
