#negative---

[asimplechaos]

ahaaha so sometimes i had dissociative nights

sometimes i have depression nights

sometimes i have manic nights,,,

tonight is,,, 

a paranoid night,,,

i’m worried people just put up with me for one reason or another,,, that they don’t really like the fact i’m shoving my fixations and special interests down their throats,,, 

,,,,,

that when they talk about me to other friends, they say Not Nice things,,,,

and the thing is, when i let these paranoid thoughts run too long, they eventually become the reality. i won’t believe in anything else unless proven otherwise in some extreme way,,,,

hhhhhhhhhh

it’s alright if you think i’m annoying

that i’m childish, or i bother you in some way

i just wish you’d say it to my face rather than stay silent and put up with me

[asimplechaos]

stop worrying about me i’ll be better in a day or two

i always do

got no other damn choice, really

[asimplechaos]

can i just stop existing for once

[asimplechaos]

honestly tho the worst part about negative thoughts is when they come without any anger or sorrow behind them and they’re just kind of numb and stating facts

‘you don’t deserve to exist’ while you’re just sitting there losing focus on everything

and you really got no choice but to say ‘okay’

[asimplechaos]

i jsut want it to stoppoeoopopoooeppeo

[asimplechaos]

you know that thing where people who ask themselves if they’re fkaing stuff just to get attention are more likely not to be faking

well for me it’s a cycle of ‘am i faking? i feel like i’m faking tbh.’ ‘just proves i don’t deserve to be in anyone’s presence since i’m Horrible Trash’

[asimplechaos]

would it be so bad if i just stopped existing,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,