#negativity --

[rytfujgkuhhgmjgh]

mmmrmmrmrmmrmrmrm i just remembered how fucked the world is 

[stuntchica]

sometimes i think im the only person in the world who has the issues w food & weight that i do. it seems that no one else is terrified of losing weight & i wish that i knew even one person who was bc it would make me feel so much more. idk. not alone?

one time i thought i met someone like that,, they made a post complaining abt how hard it was to gain weight so i messaged them & sent them loads of tips & info that my dieticians have told me & i really thought i finally had a friend who would understand everything but no, turned out they were just a fat fetishist & in it for their kink

& i was so upset. bc sure they wanna gain weight like i do but they wont relate to anything i say abt hospital or doctors or how scared it all makes me & they dont get told frequently that they have to gain weight or risk getting seriously ill & they dont have to go to get weighed every 2 weeks by nurses who dont know what theyre doing who never think ‘huh maybe this person needs to be comforted after weighings’ & they never have to fight with psychiatrists who dont believe a word they say & want to just diagnose u with atypical anorexia even though that doesnt fit at all & im not trying to lose weight and i dont think im fat and im not restricting on purpose

and i just hate it so much

wheres my community of people who are going through the same thing? why cant i have people who understand what im going through? its not fair

[secondhand-sunlight]

I barely made it through the probably-pms induced depressive episode I had a month ago and now I’ve got pms is coming up again any day, fucking hell let’s see how this goes

[tysbarrie]

10, 13, 14, and 20:-)

10. One unpopular opinion you have about your favourite player?

his new tattoo is ugly as shit (this is about auston matthews hahah). i dont know how unpopular that is because ive definitely seen some other people who hate it but i also saw a lot of people talking about how hot it was. which is totally fine, opinions differ, no judgement, but yeah i fucking hate it. (like i think it’s really well done artistically, major props to the tattoo artist i just do not like it at all i dont even really know why hahah) 

13. What player would you want to get drunk with?

okay i actually dont drink so i wouldn’t be getting drunk with him but i think it would be hilarious to hang out with drunk mitch marner. ooooooor with katie fitzgerald just because i wanna hang out with her lmao. 

14. Which player would you want to have as your dad?

omg so many players that i like are right around my age or younger than me or just a few years older than me so its weird to think of any of them as my dad. hmmmmmm. maybe henrik lundqvist? he seems chill. (but he’s also only like 10 years older than me lmao) 

20. Who is the one player that everyone loves but you hate?

probably ovechkin. i know im definitely not alone in hating him but a lot of people love him and he’s the only one i can think of who i hate but a lot of people love. im probably forgetting some other players but yeah im gonna say him. like i think he’s pretty talented. he just bugs me? idk. 

[scribblingface]

my best friend is struggling so much right now and I just wish I knew how to  help him. his family has failed him, the healthcare system has failed him, the education system has failed him, our whole damn capitalist society has failed him. he’s struggling to make ends meet at a shit minimum wage job, trying to pay off his school debt, with a major chronic health problem that health professionals keep dismissing, in an unsupportive home environment, with a shitty manipulative ex-bf. he honestly cannot see a future for himself because everything he wants to do with his life requires money and resources that he doesn’t have and can’t see any way to get.

meanwhile my sister is struggling with mental health issues that make it practically impossible for her to work, I can’t even get volunteer work (fucking let me work! I will cost you nothing! I just want to help and learn!), and my one financially successful friend with a great career is burning out working too hard and has zero time for social life or relaxation.

I just don’t even know what to do some days. why can’t the world just let me and my bff have our little homestead and keep bees and alpacas and grow our own vegetables. it’s such a humble dream to wish for and it might as well be in outer space its so far out of our reach.

[stuntchica]

ah.. ive seen two things today that have really gotten under my skin and i cant stop thinking about them, even though theyre not really? i dunno, they shouldnt bother me as much as they do

[stuntchica]

the only time ive left my house since christmas eve was when i snuck out at 2am to go to the supermarket. i may have a problem