#negativity men

[songandflame]

again, sorry for not being around. feeling very much like a failure rn & insignificant af, so im not particularly a delight to be around. trying my best, but really just struggling™

[wastheheart-arc]

Met someone yesterday with a newborn who couldn't be that much older than me, and then the woman next to me (who's only 5 years older than me) was telling me she has 7 kids and like...

I feel like I'm nowhere near accomplished in life as I should be. I love my job, but it's not the industry I trained for, and I feel like my time trying to figure out if 1 want kids or not is running out (as my mum says, my "b.iological c.lock is ticking").

I feel so far behind people my age and without space to really work out what I want for my future.

And like? That's not even important tbh. There's g.enocides and f.ascism without consequence happening globally. People are d.ying and my problems are so miniscule in comparison, but ugh.

[songandflame-archived]

It feels like all my purpose is in life is to watch everyone around me succeed while I chase the same goals and can never reach them. I feel like I'm always so happy for people, but unable to achieve similar.

[songandflame]

you know what's shit? things happening out of your control and always feeling like they are 100% your fault. and now i'm just anxious and stressed bc it always feels like i make everything so much worse by simply ✨ existing ✨

[songandflame-archived]

I haven't spoken to my family in 4 days.

Cut all contact basically and I just don't know what to do with myself tbh.

If I responded when shit hit the fan, I would have been in the wrong, but I'm also in the wrong for not responding at all.

I'm so tired of walking of eggshells. I'm just so tired.

What do you call grief when the people who are supposed to unconditionally love you, don't? How sad it feels to have family but feel so utterly alone.

[songandflame]

Also just read the news where they've convicted and charged a group of activists for breaking into an arms manufacturer to stop on cog in the machine of Gen0cide for "t/err0rism".

Please keep in mind our p/rime m/inister is a "human rights" lawyer who defended people (and won) on the same grounds during I/raq and A/fghanistan.

But it's okay guys, because we have duel British citizens who have served in the I0/F walking around amongst the rest of society after actively committing gen0cide and facing absolutely ZERO consequences xoxo

[songandflame]

Depression is still strangling me to death, but now with the added stress of:

"your nan's blood sugars are all over the place, she keeps nearly having hypoglycemic episodes."

"oh, why not get a constant sugar monitor that sends constant sugar level readings to your phone so you can catch these episodes before that start?"

"lol, no."

I am 👌🏼 close to going no contact with my family at this point because I'm at sick to the teeth of offering solutions and being told I don't know what I'm talking about.

[songandflame]

Why are baby b.oomers so fucking allergic to critical thinking? I need this phenomenon studied and explained to me like I'm five.

Telling someone that it's beyond irony to have f.ascist countries "liberate" another e.xtremist country shouldn't be rocket science, but apparently by doing this, I'm actually saying x country is good, which is not what I've said at all.

So instead we end in. "I'm older, so I'm right" despite every "fact" given to me being from r.ight-wing news outlets.