#neilsverse

[thisismyverse]

i am my dad's son

from the moment i entered crying to the moment i leave dying my father is my puppeteer i have never faced him without fear

from the moment i entered crying to the moment i leave dying my dad is my captain urging me to break free from where i’m trapped in

my father ties my blindfold tight and cuffs my hands behind my back ensures i have no chance of flight and seals the wall that holds a crack

my dad uncuffs my aching hands so i may take my blindfold off teaching me to take a stand catching me if i should fall

my father wants me to be a doctor strings tugged so tight leaving my flesh bleeding his controlling fire growing ever hotter never asking how i was feeling

my dad encourages me to choose my own path gently cleaning and bandaging my wounds never speaking on my behalf helping me find and sing my own tune

my father wants me to be his son to bury my dreams and hide who i am to become someone he wouldn’t have to shun just to disregard my efforts with the doors he slam

my dad wants me to be who i am to seize the day and contribute a verse to the powerful play, expectations be damned to stay alive despite the adverse

from the moment i entered crying to the moment i leave dying i am my father’s property i am my dad’s son

-

nowhere near how masterfully my love is able to manipulate words, but might as well give it a go :)

[thisismyverse]

bc why use beds or desks when we can just sit on the floor @makemefeelpotent @cameron-by-the-book <333

thanks for unwinding with me :)

i'm winning btw

@the-least-favourite-child @professional-melomaniac @hopelessknoxmantic @its-the-pitts1 @exhausted-echo @valentinesfadedroses

[thisismyverse]

survived a 3-hr tutoring session w/o my adhd meds i am god (the kid could tell i'm out of it and he rubbed my back? and like cause i do that to them if they were like not feeling well and i just asdfhasdlfhadlsfa)

@the-least-favourite-child @professional-melomaniac @hopelessknoxmantic @makemefeelpotent @its-the-pitts1 @cameron-by-the-book @exhausted-echo @valentinesfadedroses

[thisismyverse]

@the-least-favourite-child @hopelessknoxmantic @professional-melomaniac @makemefeelpotent @its-the-pitts1 @cameron-by-the-book @exhausted-echo @valentinesfadedroses

anyone up for a meeting tonight? i know we've all got our own shit we're dealing with rn, but i think a meeting where all of us relax and take a step back from our situations would be really helpful :)

[thisismyverse]

@makemefeelpotent @the-least-favourite-child @exhausted-echo @professional-melomaniac @its-the-pitts1 @cameron-by-the-book @hopelessknoxmantic @valentinesfadedroses

update:

my father got nolan to get me off the official school records for missing keating's assignment, cause, well, it's keating. they both despise him. (this is the first time in 17 years my father's actually acknowledged my illness lol) my father's pissed at me for missing hw tho :/

[thisismyverse]

sneaking out with your best friend (and @makemefeelpotent i guess 🙄) because every one at the dinner party is drunk and you have ✨ptsd✨

come save us even keating is drunk

@the-least-favourite-child @professional-melomaniac @hopelessknoxmantic @cameron-by-the-book @exhausted-echo @valentinesfadedroses @its-the-pitts1

[thisismyverse]

god, i love you <3 @the-least-favourite-child

happy valentines day :)

@makemefeelpotent @professional-melomaniac @hopelessknoxmantic @cameron-by-the-book @its-the-pitts1 @thepowerfulplay-goeson @valentinesfadedroses

[thisismyverse]

@the-least-favourite-child @makemefeelpotent @professional-melomaniac @hopelessknoxmantic @its-the-pitts1 @cameron-by-the-book @exhausted-echo

i'm safe, in my room.

i just- i can't anymore. i'm so tired. i'm trying my best to keep everyone safe. hell, i fell ill because i was trying to keep you all safe. and then you go and deliberately get yourselves in trouble.

i'm trying so fucking hard.

my head hurts so much i'm seeing white spots. my joints are stiff and my bones and muscles are achy. my throat is so sore, and i can't take a single breath without sniffling or wheezing. my chest hurts from stifling my sneezes and coughs to not disturb class. and i haven't even had time to process my own feelings about everything that happened the past few days.

i just- i hurt all over.

i'm tired.

i love you all so fucking much it hurts.

i'm not mad at anyone, i promise.

i'm just so, so fucking tired.

i got a slip from the nurse. if you need me, i'll be crying myself to sleep.