The one who pulls the strings: An entry on "Subject and Object" [Blog Entry #2]
Last Tuesday, 13th of January 2015, an initial discussion was held on our Political Theory 2 class regarding what this particular course has to offer for us for the entirety of the term. From what I remember, we did two activities: first of which was an interactive quiz, and the second one was the main lecture itself.
As previously mentioned, our professor decided to conduct an interactive activity to capture our interest, considering that our schedule begins as early as quarter past nine in the morning. It was pretty interesting, to say the least (see "Left or Right" post)
Another activity which I have mentioned was the main lecture. To provide more details regarding this lecture, it was mostly about an individual's subjectivity or positionality - on which one is more dominant than the other. Now, as hinted by the title of this entry, I would like to make this post revolve around the said topic.
During our primary (and in some cases, secondary) education, we knew what subjects and objects were through the grammar lessons taught in our respective English classes. To provide a brief review, a subject is the main focus of a sentence, while an object is the receiver of an action committed by the subject. Now, if I am not entirely mistaken, a part of our current lesson in POLTHE2 (or political theory 2) tackles two ideas similar to subject and object, albeit on a different context.
From what I understood, subjectivity is the case when you are the one who is making the decisions for yourself. If we are to link the aforementioned subject with this, we can say that you, as an individual, are the subject, meaning that you are the doer of the actions. On the other hand, we also have what is referred to as positionality. Being the opposite of the other, this is the case when others have more control or influence over yourself regarding handling decisions. To make it sound less complicated, positionality works whenever you act solely because you are compelled to do so, and not because of your own will. In terms of connecting this with the said English lessons, we can say that the person in this is the object, meaning that s/he can only receive what the subject does, and not the other way around.
With all of that being said, I think it would now be fair to proceed and contemplate on whether I am truly a subject, or just a mere object.
Sexuality
While it is true that our sex is predetermined by our very own genetics, our gender obviously is not. It remains to us whether we would like to adopt our gender based from our biological sex or not. In my case, I have decided to live up to my biological sex.
To be fair, I was raised on becoming a man myself. I was taught how to dress like a man, how to walk like a man, how to eat like a man, and the like. But, as I have mentioned, the choice of whether we would like to keep this always remains to our own self. Seeing that being the person that I was trained to be offers a handful of perks which I think I would enjoy to the fullest, I decided on keeping my gender unchanged (no offense to feminists and other movements that dislike masculinity/patriarchy).
This should clear the doubts of those who think that I am hiding in a closet (if there are any)
Answer: Subject
Emotions
Unlike the previous category, I personally believe that this one is tricky. Yes, it is true that we can control most of our own emotions. In fact, it is one of the many reasons why deceiving is not a lost art. People project happiness when in fact, they are feeling lonely on the inside. People can smile in front of you even when what they really wanted to do is stick a knife into your skull the moment you turn your back against them. Hell, people can even project nothing to leave you off guard.
Unfortunately, this is not the case when it comes to me. I believe that I am terrible in faking reactions. When someone cracks a hilarious joke, I cannot help but to laugh even if I am not supposed to. Whenever I see something disturbing right in front of me, my body flinches in all of a sudden. When I feel immense pain or anger, I voluntarily clench my fists. Point is, I rarely am in control of my emotions; rather, I (in)voluntarily give out reactions based on the actions given to me by other people (or so I think.)
Answer: Object
Interests
Like most people, I have tons of interests. Hence, I shall try to enumerate as many as I could; all while stating where it stands between subjectivity and positionality.
Rock music - Honestly, rock music was not always my first choice in picking music. Growing up, I was exposed to plenty of pop and mainstream music thanks to radio and television. This led me to think that perhaps these songs are what I should listen to, given how much time is being spent by the media in playing these. However, when I entered high school, some sort of shift happened. Even though the media is still giving us plenty of pop, hip-hop, rap, and other mainstream music through their various programs, I was lucky enough to find rock through some classmates who shared it with me. Then and there, I was captivated by the guitar riffs, vocals, and lyricism. Needless to say, I discovered what kind of music really does the job of attracting me simply through its identity, and not through its number of exposure. I guess one could say that the rest is history thereafter. Answer: Subject
WWE (and modern professional wrestling) - I know that just the sight of something that has become highly popular in our country from 2004 - 2007 then quietly declined is peculiar, but please do hear me out on this. Nowadays, there seems to be a surplus of things which captures the interests of the people of my age. From what I observe, these things include Avatar, Sherlock, Star Wars, and Doctor Who, among others. This is not to say that that this abundance (in entertainment) is wrong or anything, but (unfortunately) the great "fanbase" of these programs became very much packed to the point that attempting to give one of these a try will make it seem like I am merely joining a bandwagon, and not actually investing in it (although I have seen Star Wars I-III when I was little...). Just like my problem with music, I think that when the time comes wherein I finally watch one of these shows, it would be just the effect of its exposure rather than its identity. I fear that maybe if I watch these shows, it would be the "peer pressure" that drives me to do so, and not my own will. As a result, I decided to stick with the program which I have tuned to ever since I was in the first grade of elementary - WWE. By this time, I know that most of the things they project is scripted just like any other television show. However, it has not lost its touch in terms of making me want to support it. It still has that mix of sports and storytelling which only a few has. It still hires great talents capable of entertaining the audience to the fullest. But more importantly, it has become something which only a smaller crowd could relate to. Much unlike the previous shows which I have mentioned, WWE (and modern pro-wrestling) has declined significantly in terms of popularity in our country; thus removing the idea that it is peer pressure which drives me to watch the show, but rather injecting the thought that it is my own interest which pushes me to do so. Answer: Subject
Fiction - I may not read as often as I used to, but whenever I do, I always go for something that is either a crime/mystery novel, or a tragic drama. As much as romantic novels are common, and as much as I enjoyed reading some (The Fault in our Stars and Love, Rosie are worth mentioning, in my opinion), nothing can "glue" me to a book better than those two genres. You might ask what could be the reason behind this. My answer is simple: because I chose to. Answer: Subject
Fashion Sense - First and foremost, let me get this straight: I dislike this label. Now that that is out of the way, allow me to get to my point. For men, there seems to be a trend wherein an individual would have the sides of his hair almost entirely shaven, while leaving the top part of his hart untouched or slightly trimmed. They call this hairstyle as "undercut". In terms of clothing, I spot plenty of men (hypothetically the same age as mine) who favors the combination of polo shirts, colored pants or shorts, and a pair of sportswear shoes or topsiders. Whatever this trend is, I am not buying into it. They can keep their waxed hairstyles, fitted (and often brightly colored) clothing, and expensive footwear. I would gladly stick with my long, "emo" hair, (mostly) dark printed shirts, semi-fitting pants, and some trusty pairs of Vans any time of the day. I simply do not care if my "style" is outdated. This is not high school anymore wherein a prescribed "2x3" or clean cut is a must, or a uniform must be worn on a daily basis.This is my preference, and none shall dictate what hair should I have nor what clothes should I wear. Answer: Subject
Relationships
When I was younger, I had this misconception that popularity equates to greatness. This led me to think that the popular kids in school have it all - looks, brains, and attitude. To that point, i thought that they would make excellent acquaintances, given their "greatness". While it may be true in some cases, it proved to be wrong for the better part. Granted, I became "friends" with some of the "popular" kids then. Little did I know that I was being used. Whenever I am with the popular ones instead of the nerdy ones, I tend to become the laughing stock. The jokes would be more focused on poking fun at me. If the jokes do not occur, then I become the answer key. Knowing that I was one of the "smart ones" of our class then, they would literally milk my answers directly from my work... and I was too stupid to notice.
Gladly, all changed as I grew up. I started to side with the people who share the same interests with me rather than those who do not, regardless of the popularity. I decided to move away from the "famous" kids, and I began to know the others better. i get to talk about video games and other cool mid 2000's things on a daily basis, eat lunch with a group, discuss school works properly, and the like. Needless to say, I have finally stuck with the people whom I wanted to spend (or waste) my time with. I have never been happier. (this remains true to this day)
I guess this is also true for seeking romance. Approaching high school, I thought that the one deemed as the prettiest is the best girl that may ever exist. I thought that a girl like such is what us guys should chase after. Now, i am laughing at that thought. Upon entering junior high school, I just began to care less about looks. I started to not mind almost anything, to be honest. I just minded my own business. Before I knew it, I met this woman (same age, of course). As I get to know her, my earlier idea started to fade away; replaced with the image of this girl being the most wonderful woman whom I can ever meet. The pretty ones may not necessarily be the best after all. Perhaps all this time, all I needed to do was to disregard what many are saying, and just follow what my mind says. Same with my issue regarding friendship, I have never been happier (and I think i never have been THAT happy again)
Point is, once I started to decide on what is best for me instead of following the social constructs that my environment has set up, I felt a lot better.
Answer: Subject
Spirituality
I think that it is no secret that I was educated in a Catholic school for the better part of my life. I was taught how I should act, saying that I should follow the footsteps of Jesus. I was taught how to think, being exposed to the many forms of morals and values and its counterparts. Each and every possible move that I could think of was taught to me by this institution. Of course, growing up into the said community, I always thought that what I was doing was purely correct, meaning that any alternative (or conflicting) was sinfully wrong.
Thankfully, the scenario has not been the same in recent memory. DLSU, despite being a religious institution like my high school, is significantly more "open". For starters, I have observed that religion classes are relatively more liberal. Unlike before, students are not persecuted (for the lack of a better term) for deviating from the "average Christian" way of thinking (which was kind of exclusive for non-Christians in my high school). Here, we can actually support the Reproductive Health Bill without having to worry about being lectured by (some of the) faculty and admin. Heck, we can even believe in non-existence if we want to without it drastically pulling our grades.
Being exposed to an more open community, I was able to reflect. I was able to see that some of the things that I used to believe in were not really my own, but rather was some other else's. Hence, I began to change my ways. I began to follow what I wanted to believe more that what was enforced in me.
...I have never felt more true to my own self.
Answer: Subject
...
If this ridiculously lengthy reflection tells anyone anything, it is that I am an object turned subject. I get to choose most of what would define me, and those who dare to treat me as an object (decision making-wise) can do nothing but deal with it.
______________________
Let me know if I should add more categories :)
Comments? Violent reactions? Criticisms? Fire Away!
