#neorgasm

[neorgasm-blog1]

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[pizzaswag]

*~personal reflection on 2013 ~*

I made a lot of new friends, went a lot of new places and faced a lot of fears with a smile. I'm really close to being the person I always wanted to be and that wouldn't be possible without all the shit I've been swimming in these past few years. I'm happy to say I didn't make many mistakes this year and I ended it with few regrets.

The winter was hard, and my bones were cracking under the pressure and my skin was dry and red and I was dying and the life was seeping out of my pores and I didn't have a lot to hold onto. 

I didn't die despite my plans and I'm thankful for Ryan for reminding me of the little things I need to keep myself alive. I lost everything with him and I gained a lot of new experience and one of those things is how to give and receive love. He gave me a healthy relationship and he gave me a sense of stability and I'm so happy he entered my life on that weird lonely late night in may 2012. I never guessed this would grow into what it did and I'm still awestruck and confused that the weird little boy with the long limbs and glasses and the nerdy little boy voice is the same guy i get to kiss hello everyone once in awhile.

We saw each other a handful of times this year, but 2014 is full of new adventures powered by gasoline and late nights and sleepovers and a summer of new memories and hopefully a lifetime of little moments. I'm really fucking glad he's my sunshine.

I grew a lot this summer. I grew into myself and I finally have the confidence to do things I only dreamed of as a kid.

I have great friends. I have great people in my life that I'm thankful to take me away from the weight of the world I take upon myself to carry on my back.

Ryan was love, and laughter and the true meaning of a best friend. He knows me more than I thought a person ever could and he still loves me through all the shit I throw at him and the burdens I tie to his feet. I can't imagine a world without him as my anchor, and me as his light house. He keeps me grounded and I'll help him find his way home when he wanders out to sea. The story of Annabel Lee, without the death and destruction. You'll probably find us walking somewhere or making out in a basement to some ridiculous movie. 

Ayslin was an adventure in herself and I'm forever thankful for our small piece of infinity we found between train station floors and sweaty rooms and summer rain. You'll find the remnants of the power duo etched into the sidewalk of Harvard Square and mixed into the liner notes of some ridiculous pop punk album.

Shannon was friendship and conflict. The light at the end of the tunnel and the train derailing off it's tracks. An outlet and a trigger and hopefully a still a friend. I'm thankful for her help along the way. Somewhere at the Comcast Center our sweat and tears is mixed in with the dirt and gravel of Warped Tour 2013.

Hannah, Emily and Meredith are the teenage dream. That song by Wheatus should play wherever we go, but that's not far because you'll probably find the three of us in stitches in front of McDonald's in a sea of fries and sour gummy worms laughing about some orgasm joke. Or buying clothes and breaking freshman boy hearts from a mile away.

This year has been pretty fucking rad. I broke out of my shell, I broke some hearts, and I broke away from an eating disorder. I also broke a few important body parts at the shows I've been to over the year. My blood and sweat is painted on the floor of so many venues I lost count. Sorry for anyone I saw after a show, I probably looked like hell and smelled like satan's fecal matter. but that's what you get for not giving a shit.

I almost died more than once and wanted to die a lot more but at least i'm not as sad as i used to be. I'm really happy with who i became as a person and i'm struggling to maintain a positive outlook for the next couple of years before i can break away from the knots my family tied to my wrists but I know I can get through it if I keep my head up.

2014 has a lot of new adventures and memories and sleepless nights ahead. I'm turning 16, and Ryan's turning 17 and Shannon's turning 18. I'll be half done with Highschool, and by fall I'll have my license. Ryan will drive up here in the summer and we'll watch indiana jones and star wars and kiss a lot and fuck some more and go on long walks in my small town and my family may suck but my friends are rad. warped tour '14 and so many tours to look forward to. I'm gonna make it through the year with a smile. I've fought my way through fire and ice and shit and tears and a bit of rest is in order but if I don't get it then that's okay. It'll come and I'm just happy to be here right now because I've wished for so long I wasn't and i've been through an OD one too many times to take it lightly. I'm happy I made it to 2014.

if anyone ever needs a friend this is just a reminder that i'm here and i'm willing to help anyone through anything even just minor problems. i get really happy just by helping people through things. tumblr has been a constant for me over the past three years, like i've been on here since 7th grade and i'm halfway through sophomore year of high school. some really great friendships and some really great things have happened through this website so hey if you ever need a helping hand i'm here because helping others genuinly puts a smile on my face and i never want any of you on here to go through shit because i promise you're undeserving of it. keep your head up guys you made it through another year and i'm proud of all of you and i know you can do it again guys you're hella fine and hella rad xoxoxo peace out cub scout xoxoxo gossip girl 

[zinogre]

would you happen to be taking np art requests or commissions? c:

!!! i've never thought of it before but i suppose i could owo

[neotaglove]

neorgasm is lovely :3