Something big that I’ve noticed recently on social media: co-parenting. The idea is that parents who had children together but did not stay in a relationship/marriage continuing to raise their kids together with their respective significant others, regardless of how the adult parties feel about each other. This is something super awesome for the kids and, in my opinion, can be beneficial to the adults involved as well. Teach them patience and whatnot. I’ve seen a few of these articles, pictures, and posts and it does my heart good knowing that somewhere out there, some people are mature enough to put aside their differences and think about what is best for the child. Now, this is nothing I ever expected in my own parenting escapades. In all of the experience I’ve had with BM, the thought of co-parenting or even just trying to cooperate seems to have never crossed her mind. Every step we have taken to help Harley become a more mature person has been thwarted by BM. Every change has been a fight. It’s gotten to the point where Ben will just give up and not argue with her because it’s useless. I’ve been told I’m not allowed to engage (even if she starts it, which is bullshit) because we have to think about Harley and how it will affect her. I hate living in the idea that this… person (I’m trying so hard to be nice here) has the power to punish my daughter because of something I said or did. Without getting into too much detail, I’m just going to say that I’ve heard enough horror stories about BM’s house to keep my nonsense in check. But a miracle happened. Harley got herself grounded. She lied to her father (who then neglected to tell me until 3 days later) and landed herself in a world of school with and handwriting practice. No music, no games, no TV. Nothing. And she is grounded until Saturday. This weekend is BM’s weekend. So, in the spirit of holding ground with the 9 year old, I messaged BM to inform her the Harley is grounded and will be as well while she was with her. I figured that, since it would only be a half a day of grounding left, a well-placed argument could convince her to uphold our decision. I sat in the car for 5 minutes, formulating a plan of attack for the impending fight, when it happened. BM messaged me back. And she AGREED with me. I was floored. The woman who threw a fit that our child was calling me “mommy” told me that what I was proposing was a fantastic idea and she would love to make it something that was implemented at her house. After a lengthy conversation, explaining the strikes rule and what we had decided grounding would consist of, we agreed that the best way to handle Harley was to keep it uniform across the board and BM would be starting our system in her home. I am still in shock. The love of a child can be a powerful thing. It can even bring people to the same level.
