there's no body. it's just for show, he said. her name intricately carved into the stone. a beautiful name, shinji thought. if only he could remember what her face looked like. he hadn't bought the flowers, they'd been hastily pushed into his hands as a second thought. he wondered if she'd liked them. the next time, he'd bring another sort. perhaps, she'd like them better. as he looks down at her tombstone, he wonders if she's happy. he wishes he was happy with out her. "happy mother's day."
A memory of a memory.
When her son comes for another synch test, her eyessoften and she welcomes him to what’s a metaphor of a mother’s womb. He’suneasy, as per usual, of entering Unit-01 but she understands, the berserknature of the Evangelion is infamous and while he’s the pilot, to doubt is tobe human. Maybe, one day, he will feel her presence — and remember that fatefulday of the contact experiment. A price for him to understand she isn’t anylonger in physical form, bound forever into the Eva to protect her child.
A scientist she was. A woman she had been first. But whattakes priority the most is to be a mother.
Gendo had discarded all that had mirrored a resemblanceto who Ikari Yui had been. And the bitterness of Shinji’s thoughts floats inthe LCL, he’d been too young to remember her face in detail. And yet, here hewas, in the presence of his mother and being occasionally watched by Lilith’svessel, a mirror of her own appearance. It’s not the same, it will never be,with no photos left, how he can mourn?
Neither Shinji and Gendo had healed from her loss andshe apologizes from being such a selfish mother and wife. The future’s in herson’s shoulders, SEELE’s hands trying to salvage the scenario her husbandcreates. He needs his mother, she knows but all she can offer is to makeeverything more soothing in the entry plug.
She sees all that had happened in that memory and herhand caresses Shinji’s cheek, gently, softly, knowing this is the closest hewill feel of a mother’s touch in a long while. He’s terrified of unit-01, evenwhen she resides in its very core but she’s grateful he comes to meet her,unwillingly or not. Placing a kiss on his forehead, her hands hold her child’sface, allowing herself to remember him until the next time he visits.
“I can’t be happy without you, dear.” Thank you.