May 15, 2016
... it is often because the man is unable or unwilling to deal with his wife's enigmatic desire ... that he demands she tell him exactly what she wants (fer her birthday, in bed, and so on) and then refers to her as bossy. She is upset that he never seems capable of 'reading her desire', of realizing that she wants something from him that reflects how he sees her, what he wants from her, what his desire is regarding her. He laments that he is unable to express any desire of his within the relationship (this being reserved for his fantasy life, in which she plays no part), but in fact has orchestrated this modus operandi himself, albeit in spite of himself.
Bruce Fink, _A Clinical Introduction to Lacanian Psychiatry_ (p. 63)