#new bro

[preppy-bro]

A New Bro for Sigma Nu

1. Geoff, In the Library, with the Handshake

I could tell he was a Sigma Nu bro from a single look. No self-respecting college kid from this century would walk around dressed like an old money republican stereotype unless they were made to. Or that's what I told my friends whenever we saw those frat guys strutting around campus. We all get a good laugh out of that one. Those stupid bright red pants. Navy blazer with shiny brass buttons, straight out of last century. Wearing a shirt and tie to browse at the library. What a dork.

Anyway, I'd been seeing the Sigma Nu bros around more and more. Or just noticing them more. They didn't used to be like that. Last year they were all sweaty gym bros and slobs, but as if overnight all of them in unison started dressing up like country clubbers, like their dad owned a yacht and had a place waiting for them at the family firm once they finished their degree in business or econ.

They'd had a yard sale at the start of the fall semester, selling what looked like the entirety of their old wardrobes save for the few clothes we saw them wear exclusively in the gym. They donated the money and the leftovers to some local clothing drive, which was kinda cool if you thought about it. I guess. But who would willingly give up all their clothes to dress...like that. Just to fit in at a frat. Like, was it really worth the effort? So weird.

I snapped back to attention when the bro noticed me staring at him so deep in thought. He gave me a small nod and a smile. Direct eye contact. "Sup, dude?" he said. I can feel my face turn bright red. I pretend to look at a very interesting all-consuming loose thread in the carpet.

Oh god he's walking over here.

"Hey man, like, what's up? Did you like need somethin bro?" When I meet his eyes again they're friendly, open. He reaches out to shake my hand and I reluctantly take it. Firm grip, businesslike. Manly. "Name's Geoff, dude. Sigma Nu. Saw you lookin."

His smile made me feel like ice in bare sunlight. Normally a guy like this is so not my type, but maybe there's something charming in how neat and tidy he looks, his boyish masculinity, like a kid wearing a man's clothes with no shame or self-consciousness. Both dorky and totally polished. A sheep in wolf's clothing.

"Um. Walter. And no, uh, I was just looking at the bookshelf you were standing by. Or whatever."

"Walt! Nice to meet ya. Big Walt haha, hell yeah! Let's fuckin go." He looked over his shoulder to the bookshelves, then back at you. "Wait, you're, like, into economics, bro?"

Shit. Of course he was loitering in the economics section. I can hardly believe he was literate behind those simple blue eyes. Or maybe not simple, just chill, cool, hard to look away from.

"Yeah, a little...." I try to edge away but he slaps me on the back, rests his hand on my shoulder. He's nodding his head so hard, barely able to contain his excitement.

"No way bro, that's so sick! Are you into like Thomas Sowell? Or wait wait wait, like uh, Friedrich Hayek? Those are my guys, dude!"

And I start nodding like an idiot, unsure how else to get out of this inescapable conversation I'd stumbled over the event horizon of, but he was so warm, so friendly and inviting...

"You should come hang out at the house sometime man! A bunch of the guys are super into that stuff. We're always down to chill. I bet you'd have a lot to chat about bro!" He was so earnest it kinda hurt to say no outright, like smashing a kid's art project.

"Um, well..." I mutter, staring blankly into his eyes, as if into blinding light. "I'm not um..."

"Duuude haha you're crackin me up, man. Well, open invite. No pressure. Drop by anytime. Anybody stops you at the door, tell 'em you're there to meet up with Geoff." He daps me on the shoulder and saunters away in long, lazy strides.

Me? Hanging out with some bro named Geoff at the Sigma Nu house? Wait until my friends got a load of this—We'll be cracking up over this story for weeks. As if I'd ever waste my time hanging with some card-carrying campus Republican douchebags to talk about the proper wealth-hoarding tactics to secure a second boat, a third house, a fourth, younger wife.

Unless...maybe it'd be even funnier to play along for a little while, get an inside scoop...yeah, me and my friends could get plenty of shit to roast these guys about for years. Like their stupid, shining, deep, oceanic blue eyes... And like, other stuff too!

Maybe I'll drop by tonight.

[preppy-bro]

A New Bro For Sigma Nu

[Read Part 1 Here]

2. Pierce, In the Lounge, with the Cigar

I stood awkwardly at the front door of the Sigma Nu house for a while, hemming and hawing over whether to actually follow through for the sake of maintaining a bit. Would my friends even find this shit funny, or was I wasting my time? Could some ironic playing along with the frat bros get me in deep trouble once they find out I tricked em?

But before I could decide either way, the door flew inward as a frat boy plowed right into me on his way out. We both fell down the front step and landed in a tangle. By the time we both made it back to our feet, we were more intimately acquainted than I'd ever managed on a first date.

The guy laughed and introduced himself as Pierce. He was dressed garishly in a light blue button down tucked into a pair of khakis, a bowtie, tan boat shoes, and a striped canvas belt. His hair was casually parted, clearly styled but careful to look like he hadn't touched it. His eyebrows were thick, with one almost permanently raised at a mischievous slant. Pierce's mouth followed suit, angled into a subtle smirk. He looked like such a prick, but also like the kind of dude you'd do the stupidest shit for just to make him laugh—and you could always count on him laughing.

His tone seemed friendly, but he had mirrored pit vipers on, so I couldn't really tell whether he was pissed or fucking with me when he asked what brought me to the house.

"Are you like, here for something dude? A delivery or...?" He pulled off his shades and looked down, found my hands empty. His smirk widened at an alarming rate. "Or like...you here to meet somebody?" He sounded so doubtful, that last syllable raised so high every dog in the neighborhood probably cringed. I almost backed out, almost walked away from the house without saying a word, but for whatever reason pierce's second eyebrow flicked up as a lightbulb went off over his head. "Wait are you, like, Walt, dude?"

My stomach dropped. How many of them already knew about me? And so soon? It was like a goddamn douchebag hive mind. He looks me up and down again, grins like he's holding back a laugh. "Nice, uh, sweatpants, man."

"Walter," I corrected, feeling somehow both tense and detached. Excited and ill at ease. And weirdly kinda turned on. His eyes were had the same weight as Geoff's, though they were a deep, warm brown. I held his gaze, wishing he'd keep on talking. So I wouldn't have to say anything. I guess.

"No way bro! So fuckin sick that you swung by man. My boy Geoff was hypin you up for real bro." He flung his arm around my shoulder and turned the two of us back toward the house, ushering me through the front door. "I was, like, totally about to hit the bars bro, but I gotta chill with you guys," he said, leading me to a sitting room three doors down the hallway straight back from the foyer.

Inside the room there were two dark green velvet couches along opposite walls, and some side chairs with the same upholstering gathered around a brick fireplace. A pool table sat in a windowed alcove behind the farther couch with plenty of space for play. Five frat boys were scattered there across the furniture, including Geoff, manspreading, drinking liquor on the rocks, and smoking cigars. Each outfit was more garish than the last. They were laughing stupidly at some joke about some drama professor, but stopped when they saw us walk in.

They looked at Pierce with a mix of amusement and respect as he walked across the room and plucked a cigar from the box on the coffee table. He tucked it in his mouth, and as he lit up he casually gestured to me. "Boys, this here's Walt. He's hangin with the crew tonight!" And they all turned to me and actually smiled, cheered "Let's fuckin gooooo!" as they clinked their glasses.

Geoff beamed at me, a dark glint in his eyes pulling me from across the room, and held out a freshly poured glass in his hand. "Walt! Haha I bet Pierce like twenty bucks you'd come. Have a seat, dude, have a drink. We were just getting started."

[giveeverythingformyeverything]

wer ist die erste person die du etwas aufregendes erzählst?

Portuguese Bratee Fabian.

[cerealkillerrr-blog1]

I’m so stoked we got our bro to come lift with us tonight, that shit was a good time. If any of you are into it, my roommate and fellow Marine OEF vet Santiago has a fitness instagram, fitlife_365

[clintscoffeepot]

askclint is my bruh so hard like where have you been all my life???

[kbfoto]

its official, we're bros!! boss ass bros!! lol

Hahah hell yeah! Boss ass bro's! :P <3 So what's my new bro's name? Gonna come off Anon??