seen from Singapore
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seen from Malaysia
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ROGUE CITIZEN RUMORED TO HAVE LEFT THE CITY, AND GONE BACK TO HER OLD KILLJOY LIFESTYLE. STATISTICS SAY THERE IS AN 80% CHANCE SHE WILL RETURN TO THE CITY WITHIN THE NEXT YEAR, THEREFORE HER ATTEMPTS TO LEAVE ARE FUTILE.
IN OTHER NEWS, TEMPERATURES IN THE CITY HAVE A LOW OF 52 AND A HIGH OF A VERY PLEASANT 74. THE FORECAST IS SUNNY, WITH CLOUDS EXPECTED.
FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS.
At long last
Finally, the respect he deserves.
TODAY IS YET ANOTHER SUNNY DAY IN BATTERY CITY! TEMPERATURE IS 72 DEGRESS AT THE MOMENT AND WILL GET DOWN TO AROUND 67 TONIGHT. THERE IS A LIGHT BREEZE AND A 0% CHANCE OF RAIN.
MEANWHILE IN THE ZONES, TEMPERATURES ARE 100+ DEGREES AND NO BREEZE.
IN OTHER NEWS, THE CITY HOSPITAL JUST CURED A CITIZEN'S CHRONIC PAIN! THE CITIZEN SAYS THAT THEY FINALLY CAN FEEL LIFE WITHOUT CONSTANT PAIN. DOCTORS SAY THAT THIS MIRACULOUS ADVANCEMENT WAS DUE TO A SPECIFIC DOSAGE OF STERELAX FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.
ALSO, FASHION HAVEN, THE BIGGEST CLOTHING STORE IN THE CITY, CURRENTLY HAS A 15% DEAL ON ALL WHITE TSHIRTS UNTIL 21:00 GO GRAB THEM WHILE YOU CAN!
FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS
BREAKING NEWS
ZONE MARRIAGE GONE WRONG. VAL VELOCITY THREATENS TO SHOOT HIS NOT-HUSBAND. THIS IS A PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHY ZONEBORNS ARE HIGHLY UNSTABLE AND WHY YOU SHOULD STAY IN THE CITY WHERE IT IS SAFE.
FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS
KILLJOY REBELS INVADED THE CITY WITH FAKE IDENTIFICATION. THEY THEN SET OUR EXTERMINATION DEPARTMENT BUILDING ON FIRE.
ONE OF THESE KILLJOY REBELS WAS FATALLY INJURED, BUT STILL UNFORTUNATELY GOT AWAY. THE FOUR OF THEM ARE STILL AT LARGE.
IF YOU SEE ANY KILLJOY REBELS WITHIN THE CITY'S BORDERS, CALL THE EXTERMINATION UNIT IMMEDIATELY TO DISPATCH THE KILLJOY THREAT.
THEY ARE EVERYWHERE. THEY COULD BE SOMEONE YOU KNOW, LIKE YOUR PARENTS, YOUR SIBLINGS, YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR COWORKERS, OR EVEN YOUR CHILDREN. STAY SAFE, AND REPORT ANY SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY.
THE CITY IS ALSO PUSHING OUT AN ORDER FOR EVERY CIVILIAN TO UPDATE THEIR IDS TO THE NEW KIND OF IDENTIFICATION, SO AS TO CURB THE POSSIBILITY OF KILLJOYS FABRICATING ONES IN THE FUTURE. THE OLD IDENTIFICATION WILL ONLY BE ACCEPTED UNTIL APRIL 30TH, 2020.
THIS REPORT IS NOT AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE. THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED. FACT NEWS DOES NOT REPORT FALSEHOODS.
FACT NEWS. THE ONLY NEWS.
FACT NEWS WILL BE ON PAUSE UNTIL TOMORROW EVENING. HAVE A BETTER DAY.
FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS
