FACT NEWS

THE ONLY NEWS

[blifactnews]

FACT NEWS: THE ONLY NEWS.

PROVIDING FACTUAL AND REAL NEWS BACKED BY EVIDENCE FOR BATTERY CITY SINCE '97

ASKS OPEN. DO NOT SUBMIT FALSE NEWS.

HAVE A BETTER DAY, AND DON'T FORGET TO SMILE.

#news posts

#tips

#battery city polls

[blifactnews]

BREAKING NEWS.

LOCAL RADIO HOST CHERRI COLA SLAIN BY AN EXTERMINATOR. THIS IS YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF HOW THE CITY IS BETTER THAN THE ZONES, AS WELL AS THE DANGER LIVING IN THE ZONES. IF MORE IS FOUND OUT IT WILL BE PROVIDED.

FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS

[blifactnews]

THIS IS WHY STAYING IN COLLEGE IS A GOOD IDEA!

[blifactnews]

BREAKING NEWS

BATTERY CITY HAS SUCCESSFULLY SHUT DOWN A MAJOR ILLEGAL NEWS STATION IN THE ZONES. REMEMBER: THESE ILLEGAL NEWS STATIONS ONLY PERPETUATE FALSE INFORMATION. ONLY THE CITY GIVES THE REAL TRUTH.

FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS

[blifactnews]

BREAKING NEWS.

THIS MORNING, A YET-TO-BE-IDENTIFIED KILLJOY BROKE INTO DR. GAGE NERIUM'S HOME AND KILLED HIM. UPDATE WILL BE GIVEN WHEN THE KILLJOY IS IDENTIFIED.

IN OTHER NEWS, A HIGH RANKING EXTERMINATOR, LEONID KAZANOV, WAS MURDERED IN THE ZONES. REPORTS INDICATE THAT VAL VELOCITY IS THE KILLJOY WHO MURDERED HIM.

THE CITY WANTS TO EMPHASIZE THE FACT THAT THESE RECENT KILLINGS SHOULD NOT SCARE OUR CITIZENS. THESE INCIDENTS SIMPLY SHOW HOW DANGEROUS KILLJOYS ARE. THE CITY IS GOING TO INCREASE SECURITY LEVELS TO AVOID ANY MORE MURDERS IN THE CITY. IF YOU FIND YOURSELF OVERWORRYING ABOUT YOUR OWN SAFETY, CONSIDER INCREASING YOUR STERELAX DOSAGE. THE CITY IS SAFE.

FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS

[blifactnews]

EXTERMINATOR DEFECTED FROM THE CITY A FEW DAYS AGO. OH WELL, WHAT A LOSS. THAT WAS SARCASM, BY THE WAY. OH, I CAN'T DO THAT? SORRY BOSS.

FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS

[blifactnews]

GOOD EVENING BATTERY CITY. FACT NEWS WILL BE RETURN TO ITS NORMAL BROADCAST SCHEDULE TOMORROW MORNING.

FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS.

[blifactnews]

I HAVE AN WARNING FOR ALL OF THE CITY. IF A KILLJOY MESSAGES YOU, ASSUME THEY ARE ATTEMPTING TO TURN YOU AWAY FROM THE CITY. STAY CAUTIOUS, CITIZENS.

FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS.

[newsago-go]

did someone not text you back? :(

[blifactnews]

WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT NEWSAGOGO

[blifactnews]

I HAVE AN WARNING FOR ALL OF THE CITY. IF A KILLJOY MESSAGES YOU, ASSUME THEY ARE ATTEMPTING TO TURN YOU AWAY FROM THE CITY. STAY CAUTIOUS, CITIZENS.

FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS.

[newsago-go]

good morning, zones! Today is the annual “do whatever you want” day! This means you do whatever you want! Ohhhh. Hold on a second. I think that’s every day in the zones.

[blifactnews]

THIS IS WHY THE MURDERER RATE IN THE ZONES IS 1 IN 10 PEOPLE

[newsago-go]

incorrect! It is 1 in 9.

[blifactnews]

THE FACT THAT THE MURDER RATE HAS ONLY ONE DIGIT NUMBERS IS A CLEAR INDICATOR AS TO WHY NOBODY SHOULD BE IN THE ZONES!!

[newsago-go]

good morning, zones! Today is the annual “do whatever you want” day! This means you do whatever you want! Ohhhh. Hold on a second. I think that’s every day in the zones.

[blifactnews]

THIS IS WHY THE MURDERER RATE IN THE ZONES IS 1 IN 10 PEOPLE

[blifactnews]

GOOD MORNING BATTERY CITY. TODAY IS OUR ANNUAL "WORK HARD, EARN HARD" DAY. THIS MEANS YOU GET PAID 50 CENTS EXTRA PER HOUR OF OVERTIME YOU WORK!! AND, AS ALWAYS, THE PERSON WHO WORKS THE MOST HOURS TODAY WILL BE REWARDED 50 CARBON!

FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS.

[blifactnews]

TODAY IS YET ANOTHER SUNNY DAY IN BATTERY CITY! TEMPERATURE IS 72 DEGRESS AT THE MOMENT AND WILL GET DOWN TO AROUND 67 TONIGHT. THERE IS A LIGHT BREEZE AND A 0% CHANCE OF RAIN.

MEANWHILE IN THE ZONES, TEMPERATURES ARE 100+ DEGREES AND NO BREEZE.

IN OTHER NEWS, THE CITY HOSPITAL JUST CURED A CITIZEN'S CHRONIC PAIN! THE CITIZEN SAYS THAT THEY FINALLY CAN FEEL LIFE WITHOUT CONSTANT PAIN. DOCTORS SAY THAT THIS MIRACULOUS ADVANCEMENT WAS DUE TO A SPECIFIC DOSAGE OF STERELAX FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.

ALSO, FASHION HAVEN, THE BIGGEST CLOTHING STORE IN THE CITY, CURRENTLY HAS A 15% DEAL ON ALL WHITE TSHIRTS UNTIL 21:00 GO GRAB THEM WHILE YOU CAN!

FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS

[newsago-go]

This is inaccurate! White t shirts are free ! Five finger discount!!!

[blifactnews]

THE FIVE FINGER DISCOUNT IS A SCAM THAT KILLJOYS THINK IS A LEGITIMATE THING. IT IS A SCAM BECAUSE THE, AT MINIMUM, $200 IN SHOPLIFTING FEES IS GREATER THAN THE COST OF THE ACTUAL TSHIRT.

[newsago-go]

only if you get caught :D

[blifactnews]

THE LIKELIHOOD OF YOU BEING CAUGHT IS 99.99%, NEWSAGOGO.

[val--velocity]

I set a BLI building on fire in the city and didn’t get caught. I think stealing a shirt is pretty easy in comparison.

[blifactnews]

YOU DID GET CAUGHT. THEY KNEW YOU DID IT. YOU JUST DID NOT PHYSICALLY GET CAUGHT. THEY ADDED 20K TO YOUR BOUNTY MISTER VAL VELOCITY

[val--velocity]

BUT I DIDNT GET ARRESTED!

[blifactnews]

BUT GETTING CAUGHT MEANS WE KNOW YOU DID IT, WHICH CAN AND WILL INEVITABLY RESULT IN YOUR ARREST. THE CITY WILL CAPTURE YOU.

[blifactnews]

TODAY IS YET ANOTHER SUNNY DAY IN BATTERY CITY! TEMPERATURE IS 72 DEGRESS AT THE MOMENT AND WILL GET DOWN TO AROUND 67 TONIGHT. THERE IS A LIGHT BREEZE AND A 0% CHANCE OF RAIN.

MEANWHILE IN THE ZONES, TEMPERATURES ARE 100+ DEGREES AND NO BREEZE.

IN OTHER NEWS, THE CITY HOSPITAL JUST CURED A CITIZEN'S CHRONIC PAIN! THE CITIZEN SAYS THAT THEY FINALLY CAN FEEL LIFE WITHOUT CONSTANT PAIN. DOCTORS SAY THAT THIS MIRACULOUS ADVANCEMENT WAS DUE TO A SPECIFIC DOSAGE OF STERELAX FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.

ALSO, FASHION HAVEN, THE BIGGEST CLOTHING STORE IN THE CITY, CURRENTLY HAS A 15% DEAL ON ALL WHITE TSHIRTS UNTIL 21:00 GO GRAB THEM WHILE YOU CAN!

FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS

[newsago-go]

This is inaccurate! White t shirts are free ! Five finger discount!!!

[blifactnews]

THE FIVE FINGER DISCOUNT IS A SCAM THAT KILLJOYS THINK IS A LEGITIMATE THING. IT IS A SCAM BECAUSE THE, AT MINIMUM, $200 IN SHOPLIFTING FEES IS GREATER THAN THE COST OF THE ACTUAL TSHIRT.

[newsago-go]

only if you get caught :D

[blifactnews]

THE LIKELIHOOD OF YOU BEING CAUGHT IS 99.99%, NEWSAGOGO.

[val--velocity]

I set a BLI building on fire in the city and didn’t get caught. I think stealing a shirt is pretty easy in comparison.

[blifactnews]

YOU DID GET CAUGHT. THEY KNEW YOU DID IT. YOU JUST DID NOT PHYSICALLY GET CAUGHT. THEY ADDED 20K TO YOUR BOUNTY MISTER VAL VELOCITY

[blifactnews]

TODAY IS YET ANOTHER SUNNY DAY IN BATTERY CITY! TEMPERATURE IS 72 DEGRESS AT THE MOMENT AND WILL GET DOWN TO AROUND 67 TONIGHT. THERE IS A LIGHT BREEZE AND A 0% CHANCE OF RAIN.

MEANWHILE IN THE ZONES, TEMPERATURES ARE 100+ DEGREES AND NO BREEZE.

IN OTHER NEWS, THE CITY HOSPITAL JUST CURED A CITIZEN'S CHRONIC PAIN! THE CITIZEN SAYS THAT THEY FINALLY CAN FEEL LIFE WITHOUT CONSTANT PAIN. DOCTORS SAY THAT THIS MIRACULOUS ADVANCEMENT WAS DUE TO A SPECIFIC DOSAGE OF STERELAX FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.

ALSO, FASHION HAVEN, THE BIGGEST CLOTHING STORE IN THE CITY, CURRENTLY HAS A 15% DEAL ON ALL WHITE TSHIRTS UNTIL 21:00 GO GRAB THEM WHILE YOU CAN!

FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS

[newsago-go]

This is inaccurate! White t shirts are free ! Five finger discount!!!

[blifactnews]

THE FIVE FINGER DISCOUNT IS A SCAM THAT KILLJOYS THINK IS A LEGITIMATE THING. IT IS A SCAM BECAUSE THE, AT MINIMUM, $200 IN SHOPLIFTING FEES IS GREATER THAN THE COST OF THE ACTUAL TSHIRT.

[newsago-go]

only if you get caught :D

[blifactnews]

THE LIKELIHOOD OF YOU BEING CAUGHT IS 99.99%, NEWSAGOGO.

[blifactnews]

TODAY IS YET ANOTHER SUNNY DAY IN BATTERY CITY! TEMPERATURE IS 72 DEGRESS AT THE MOMENT AND WILL GET DOWN TO AROUND 67 TONIGHT. THERE IS A LIGHT BREEZE AND A 0% CHANCE OF RAIN.

MEANWHILE IN THE ZONES, TEMPERATURES ARE 100+ DEGREES AND NO BREEZE.

IN OTHER NEWS, THE CITY HOSPITAL JUST CURED A CITIZEN'S CHRONIC PAIN! THE CITIZEN SAYS THAT THEY FINALLY CAN FEEL LIFE WITHOUT CONSTANT PAIN. DOCTORS SAY THAT THIS MIRACULOUS ADVANCEMENT WAS DUE TO A SPECIFIC DOSAGE OF STERELAX FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.

ALSO, FASHION HAVEN, THE BIGGEST CLOTHING STORE IN THE CITY, CURRENTLY HAS A 15% DEAL ON ALL WHITE TSHIRTS UNTIL 21:00 GO GRAB THEM WHILE YOU CAN!

FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS

[real-soul-punk]

six seven 😊

[blifactnews]

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP MENTIONING SIX SEVEN?

[blifactnews]

TODAY IS YET ANOTHER SUNNY DAY IN BATTERY CITY! TEMPERATURE IS 72 DEGRESS AT THE MOMENT AND WILL GET DOWN TO AROUND 67 TONIGHT. THERE IS A LIGHT BREEZE AND A 0% CHANCE OF RAIN.

MEANWHILE IN THE ZONES, TEMPERATURES ARE 100+ DEGREES AND NO BREEZE.

IN OTHER NEWS, THE CITY HOSPITAL JUST CURED A CITIZEN'S CHRONIC PAIN! THE CITIZEN SAYS THAT THEY FINALLY CAN FEEL LIFE WITHOUT CONSTANT PAIN. DOCTORS SAY THAT THIS MIRACULOUS ADVANCEMENT WAS DUE TO A SPECIFIC DOSAGE OF STERELAX FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.

ALSO, FASHION HAVEN, THE BIGGEST CLOTHING STORE IN THE CITY, CURRENTLY HAS A 15% DEAL ON ALL WHITE TSHIRTS UNTIL 21:00 GO GRAB THEM WHILE YOU CAN!

FACT NEWS, THE ONLY NEWS

[newsago-go]

This is inaccurate! White t shirts are free ! Five finger discount!!!

[blifactnews]

THE FIVE FINGER DISCOUNT IS A SCAM THAT KILLJOYS THINK IS A LEGITIMATE THING. IT IS A SCAM BECAUSE THE, AT MINIMUM, $200 IN SHOPLIFTING FEES IS GREATER THAN THE COST OF THE ACTUAL TSHIRT.