newt about theseus: ohh my brother’s a…wand handler. paperwork sniffer. something in the whatsit. a guy. fuck the system. he’s…you know, he’s employed. (an 🤢 Auror 🤮)
newt about tina: an American Auror 😍🥰 YUMMALICIOUS 😜 sorry I was rude in my letter I meant everyone except you🤦♂️ my baddd btw you are 🤩 beautiful and I 😟 keep your photo my salamander queen don’t even worry about illegally arresting me it was fun ❤️🔥
see also:
newt on the train to berlin: “so fuck head Aurors. so embarrassing honestly”
lally: “tina just became Head Auror”
newt: “omg I loveeee head Aurors so long as their name starts with T— I mean, T and then an I. oh and then it also ends in A. also so long as their name doesn’t rhyme with Meseus.”









