#nexilism

[aasocier]

13, and 2, 17, 12 for said muse :)

( handwriting ask meme; accepting! )

13.   multimuses ,   which   muse   is   your   favorite   and   why? 2.  write   something   you   love   about   your   character. 17.  write   something   you   hate   about   your   character. 12.   do   you   have   a   favorite   au   for   your   muse?

          thank you for sending these in!!

[aasocier]

🎰 hopefully the right emoji ...

( five random connections; not accepting! )

Emile & Andrei

          these two seem like they would be such sweethearts together :pleading: andrei seems like sucha soft boy, and emile is my soft boy, so it makes sense for the soft boys to befriend each other right? emile tends to be more on the reserved and timid side of things, so maybe that might make him more approachable for andrei since he’s a bit wary of humans. there’s also emile’s werewolf verse, which basically has emile as a beta werewolf but he’s very much still sweet emile! so that’s another way they can befriend each other too, like werewolf emile helping andrei get used to living amongst the humans and such. andrei and emile share the same sense of style too uwu 

Nate & Nanase

          this pairing seems interesting because nanase and nate actually share some mannerisms, so they aren’t drastically different. nate creates the type of music nanase seems to hate though ( re: techno, edm ) so that might be a point of contention. it’s not that nate hates classical music though; it’s just not where his inspiration really comes from. but i feel like if these two were to meet in a school setting, either high school or university, they’d get into a lot of trouble together lmaooo like nate would probably be an instigator tbh but he might be the type of instigator to get nanase into trouble while nate saves his own ass. depends though! they could either both go down, or one throws the other under the bus. something to think about and consider; the fact they both carry themselves in similar ways makes me feel as though they’d get along much better compared to nate with most muses tbh 

Aito & Yue

          oh i hate it when a married couple gets separated because of death, especially when they have a child together :cri: that’s so sad. jun is such a cute babey tho ,,,, i think there’s a chance for aito and yue to get along tbh. i think aito would be interested in yue’s writing, and while aito is typically very memey and doesn’t take life too seriously, i think he might put up a more “professional” or like, a more formal type persona whenever interacting with yue just because that’s how he is. of course, that all comes tumbling down when the baby shows up tho!!!! i also think the fact aito and yue both learned english through american media would bring them closer, or at the very least, it’d be a conversation starter. i also think there’s potential in both of them trying to quit smoking together. aito smokes mostly when he’s stressed, so it’s like a recreational activity, but in any case, he does want to quit. so they could form some sort of bond over that as well, like a support system. 

Leah & Ruisi

          i kind of feel like ruisi is the type of person leah would have a really soft spot for. he’s like the person who gets bullied or neglected, and i think with leah being a really empathetic person, would wanna be his friend or at the very least, pay attention to him and be that person to say hi to him and ask about his day. she’s a sweetie like that, and honestly either angel leah or human leah would wanna interact with him :) i bring up angel leah because of the whole demon thing, but demons don’t always tie in with angels so it really comes down to your lore and what kind of demon you had in mind for ruisi’s demon and his pact! but yeah, leah would treat ruisi really nicely. i dunno if she’d be a student mage like he would be, but we could always plot something where leah attends a neighboring academy or something !! i love me some good student plots tbh 

Cedric & Yuuto

          rip yuuto and being stuck in the friendzoNE ALKSJDLKAS i think that’s where cedric and yuuto diverge because cedric very much has that player energy so he definitely had a lot of people after him both while he was in school and after the fact. cedric dresses well also but comes from a family of money, so he dresses bougie because he actually is bougie smh. i think it’d be interesting for these two to cross paths since cedric, i guess you could say, has the relationship experience yuuto wishes he had, so it’d be a funny conversation for them to have if they ever discussed why it’s so hard for yuuto to get a date. cedric’s kind of an asshole ( he did treat alison poorly, after all ), so yuuto has drank more respect women juice than cedric hands down, but cedric knows better than nate ( who really didn’t get that dosage of respect women juice until like, his mid 20s ), so yuuto talking with cedric about relationships would be more of a mature, intelligent, and tasteful ( like in a classy way, but a delicious way ) conversation than if yuuto were to talk to nate tbh 

[aasocier]

✦ // mo & leah !

( 76 reasons to kiss; not accepting! )

75. kisses meant to distract the other person from whatever they were intently doing

          “you’re not listening to me, are you?” it was more of a statement of observation rather than a rebuke, though the way leah had her arms crossed over her chest and her lips pursed together was indicative of the displeasure she felt in having to retell her story from the start once more when she’d finally have mo’s attention later on. but how unusual — it wasn’t like mo to be so absorbed in something that he’d dismiss her entirely, so in a way, her interest was piqued: what could be so interesting that it’d cause mo to be so completely engrossed in it? 

          “what are you playing?” she had figured that much from the way mo was moving his phone about, the device held horizontally while fingertips tapped quickly at the screen. moving so that she could hover behind mo, she found the answer before mo even replied to her question. it wasn’t a game she’d play on her own, but it was rather amusing for her to see her boyfriend so into it. it still didn’t excuse the fact that he wasn’t paying attention to her, however, and she was more direct in her attempt in getting his attention by letting arms wrap around him from behind the couch, her chin resting on top of his head. “hey — you know i’m going to pick up dinner in a bit, right? if you don’t tell me what you want, you don’t get to pick.” 

          still no answer, or rather, not an answer with substance. hang on, hang on, i’m almost done. she couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the reply, though it was done in good humor rather than genuine annoyance. “you’re ridiculous.” she teased, the bridge of her nose brushing against his cheek as she nuzzled him affectionately. the way he moved away seemed to have hinted to her that he was unable to receive her affection and play his game at the same time, which planted a mischievous idea into her head. “c’mon, c’mon, tell me what you want for dinner.” she whines softly as she leans over the back of the couch even more so that she could continue to hold onto mo, her face coming closer to his once more as she peppers kisses to his cheek and along his jaw. 

          “your sweet girlfriend is trying to make sure you’re fed, and you won’t even look at her.” more teasing accompanied by the most dramatic of pouts for effect. she’s even more determined to distract him at this point, leah eventually climbing over the couch so that she was now seated beside him, arms clinging onto his form as she continued to barrage him with an abundant of kisses to his face. it wasn’t long before sound effects came from the phone, which told leah she was successful in bringing mo’s intense focus on the game to an end now that the level was over. cheeky and proud, she grins at him as she pulls him back into a hug, her face pressed to his chest now. “you’re not mad, right? you still love me, right?” and she laughs, a sign that she wasn’t actually worried about being discarded so easily. “anyway, now that i finally have your attention: do you wanna get dinner with me?” 

[aasocier]

" you won't leave me right ? " he mutters into the darkness, yet another sleepless night. it's warm under the covers, but there's a coldness that spreads from within. a coldness that makes him ache. he turns to his side, carefully, gently, wraps an arm around leah as he shifts closer to rest his forehead against her back. her breathing steady. " i love you, leah. you know that, so ... "

          it seemed as though she wasn’t the only one who was having trouble sleeping that night. strangely enough, she took comfort in knowing that mo wasn’t peacefully drifting off to sleep after what had just happened, after confronting her about the boundary she had unintentionally crossed. it meant he wasn’t ignoring her, wasn’t giving her the cold shoulder by choosing to sleep until the next morning after suggesting they drop the conversation for the time being so as to not make matters worse ( worse for who, though? him, or her? ). it was ambiguous to her whether or not mo had forgiven her, but in feeling his arm around her, the distance between them closing in quickly once he pressed his forehead against her — she felt a a wave of relief wash over her as she exhaled a deep breath.

          letting her own hand find mo’s, fingers intertwining with his as she shifted so that she was more on her side than before, she lets her thumb brush over the back of his hand lovingly as she repeated in her head what he had said to her at the very end. he was right; she did know he loved her, and hearing him say so always seemed to have brought a smile to her face without fail. though when coupled with his question, her smile faltered slightly. it wasn’t the first time he had asked her this, and while she knew he had his reasons for asking, it made her heart heavy at times. 

          “i don’t want to.” her reply comes just as quietly, her hold on his hand tightening as she squeezed his hand. “i really don’t want to leave you.” and it was the truth; she had no intentions of leaving him, even when things got difficult between them. she believed issues  could be resolved one way or another to salvage their relationship, and despite the strain that could exist at times, it had never been enough for her to regret letting mo back into her life. her main concern, really, came down to how he treated her when problems arose.

           “that means ... that means you can’t push me away, though.” it seemed risky for her to even voice this thought, but it seemed as though it was just as easy for mo to keep her close as it was to push her away to protect his well-being. it was confusing, and while she wasn’t upset that he could be distant at times, it seemed to be a big source of worry for her. “i don’t want you to leave me either, you know ...”

[aasocier]

“ please don’t go. ” // mo :(

( more angst for you losers; not accepting! )

           could he see the exhaustion that was starting to settling on her features? despite her best efforts to keep her tiredness at bay, there eventually came a point where she decided that it’d be best for her to take her leave so she wouldn’t start feigning interest in what mo was saying as she became too tired to really engage in the conversation. that’d be insincere, and he didn’t deserve that. and so she started to go through the motions of wrapping up their time together, leah beginning to move off from the bed they were laying together in when she had heard mo’s plea.

          and like always, she found herself hesitating. she had been so set on leaving, but now that mo had asked her to stay, she lacked the resolve to deny him. even with how much she wanted to return to her apartment so that she could take off her makeup, crawl into bed, and sleep up until the last minute before she had to get ready for work in the afternoon, she couldn’t bring herself to insist that she needed to leave. taking a look at the clock, she sighs and takes a seat on the bed again. “let me borrow a hoodie, then, since i don’t have a change of clothes.” she nudges him then, an attempt at keeping the atmosphere lighthearted. 

          he seemed to have enjoyed the idea of lending her his clothing to wear — this would be an excuse to indulge him while also making the best of her impromptu stay. she just hoped that she’d be able to leave in the morning so as to not miss work. 

[aasocier]

“ i don’t feel safe here anymore. nowhere feels safe. ” // mo to leah

( more angst for you losers; not accepting! )

          his decision to visit her so suddenly at such a late hour was her first clue that things were not right. with how urgent he had made his need to see her seem, it felt wrong to deny him her attention, and like usual, she opened her door for him when he let her know he was outside. she didn’t see him as a burden necessarily; in fact, she ( oddly enough ) took pride in the fact he always came back to her whenever he needed comfort, needed her presence to ground him and his racing thoughts. 

          perhaps that was why upon hearing how safety and security no longer could be found even in the confines of her home, in her presence, the blood drain from her face.

          with her back turned to him momentarily as she poured a kettle of hot water into two mugs containing tea bags, mo wouldn’t have been able to see how intense leah’s gaze was as she tried to process what he had just said. nowhere feels safe, she repeats to herself internally as a bout of anxiety suddenly caused her stomach to knot and her heart to race. if that was the case, what other refuge was left for him? where would he go? 

          and suddenly, the possibility of them losing touch and separating once again crossed her mind, and the thought seemed to have hardened her expression. “that’s — unfortunate.” her reply is unintentionally curt as she grappled with whether she should make known how she felt about seemingly failing at easing mo’s fears and worries, the one thing she tried so hard to do for him with all her being when they were together. she wanted him to be at ease whenever they were together  — she wanted to be his escape. she wanted to be his safe haven.

          “sorry, that — that came off rude.” eventually, she turns, carries the two mugs towards the table mo was seated at, and carefully sets one mug down in front of mo and the other in front of where she planned to sit. “if i’m being honest ... it kind of breaks my heart to hear you don’t feel safe, even with me. that’s selfish of me to say, but ... you know i try for you.” and try she did, with all her might. always the defender, the fixer, the caretaker — she’d put others first before herself until she could no longer. “it makes me scared to ask what you’re thinking of doing now. whether or not ... whether or not you’re going to leave to find some other safe place to stay for the time being.” her voice is quiet as she lets this thought linger in the air for him to address, and wordlessly, she slips into her seat beside him at the table.  

[ambivalent-auguries]

@nexilism // Audrey for Kai. 

     The past few months in Audrey’s life have been a whirlwind of new experiences and adventure, having been dislodged from his usual routine. When he accepted the job as a lyricist for an idol, the least he thought was that he would also find a friend. But now, as he makes his way through the corridors towards their studio for the day, Audrey can’t help but feel a budding excitement coursing through his body. Kai is preoccupied when he enters the room, taken with a piece of paper he looks over - probably some of his lyrics. Pride swells in his chest and a smile spreads across his lips. He discards his back pack at the door and ventures further into the room, steps quiet until he can throw his arms around the other man and bury his face between his shoulder blades. 

     “Did you wait long?” he murmurs, propping his chin on the other’s shoulder, squeezing around his body as he embraces Kai tightly. They have gotten to a comfortable spot where boundaries were rarely found - they were easily ignored by Audrey anyway. But Kai makes him feel warm and, as childish as it sounds, special. 

[flxwergxrden]

[ tears ] // ryou @ momo

@nexilism || soff dominance

[ tears ]  your muse wiping away mine’s tears.

She was abandoned and left to be eaten. The thought was hard to process. She didn’t want to believe it. She tried to find an excuse, stuttering words slippering between her trembling lips “t-they .. d-didn’t pay att-ttention... t-they forg-ot... i-m su-rre wh-en they r-re-realize it t-hey’ll c-come back. p-please d-on’t e-eat me.” she was speaking aloud desperately trying to make not only the male in front of her but herself as well believe that she wasn’t discarded like some broken item.

A warm teardrop ran down her flustered cheek, and soon it was followed by another and another... and the stuttering turned into uncontrollable sobbing. Her small figure crouched in despair and sadness. Not that she missed her caged life but the uncertainty of the unknown was too scary for her anxious worrywart self. Fingers dug in the soft fur of her long bunny ears eyes as she pulled them downwards, staring at the fox aimlessly. 

Her little trembling heart was diving more and more into anguish. Until she felt the other’s touch against her soft skin. Flinching at the sudden contact she returned to reality, the here and now, the present. Shimmering orbs gazed upon the other’s features. Why was he so good to her? Didn’t he just chase her down to eat her? This wasn’t how her short life would finish? Or was the fox just toying with her?