#nialledfrombehind

[nialledfromfics]

a niall oneshot

Pairing: Niall/ofc

Word count: 22,763

Warnings: very brief (and minimal) mention of a forced sexual act

Summary: story of childhood love lost…and possibly found again.

*obviously This Town was written for this story, so go stream while you read!!!*

The first time Ryanne saw Niall they were six and he was eating sand out of an old wooden sandbox in the playground right behind their duplex houses. Dark shaggy hair and big blue eyes almost as clear as the ocean, he looked up at her with a mischievous smile on his face and offered her some. She giggled, as little girls do, and told him no before whipping around to skip back over towards her yard. It took her two more weeks before she worked up the courage to say hi to him again, this time their silly conversation about spaceships and dinosaurs ending in them becoming the best of friends.

Ryanne was born and raised in the small town of Mullingar, Ireland; her mum a local hairdresser and her father a plumber. They lived a meager life, though strict, it was usually full of joy, her parents busy and hardworking and mostly spending their time at their respective jobs. She had one older brother, Dylan, who pretty much ignored her existence and that was okay with her. Niall lived about eight houses down and around the bend from her in the Commons, his parents divorced and his father raising him alone. He also had an older brother, about the same age as Ryanne’s and it proved easy for the two families to get on well.

Niall and Ryanne were inseparable from the start, so much so that their parents often had no idea where they had gone off to together. The kids had found a special secret spot, one that no one else knew about, one that they knew no one would be able to find them even if they tried. Back behind their houses, right past the old tree line and just a bit ways in through the tangled tree brush, was a small wooden rundown shed. One that seemed to belong to an old farmer years ago, as the property they now lived on had once been a vast farmland before their houses had taken claim over it.

It was absolutely perfect, the two of them stumbling upon it one day while exploring around. They were eight, fresh out of school for their summer holiday. Cracking open the slim wood planked door, they walked in; the one tiny room no larger than a twin sized mattress and they immediately knew they had found it. The perfect place to spend their summer.

Running back home, they gathered things they thought they would need. Flashlights and a few old blankets, some comic books and a couple board games. They even brought a few bags of crisps and grabbed a couple fizzy drinks to tide them over. Niall had snuck in a few packs of Red Laces as well, unknown to Ryanne, as he knew they were her favorite as well as his. Making their way back to the shed, they set up what they had borrowed and over the course of the summer, added things little by little until it really was a home away from home for them.

“Niall, I’m so glad we found this place. It’s magical,” Ryanne told him, her equally as bright blue eyes watching as he made his next move in the Candyland game. He smiled up at her as he stuck the tip of his tongue out of the corner of his mouth and counted his spaces. Niall was only two spaces away from winning.

“If anyone ever finds this place, Ry, I’m gonna kick their butt.”

Ryanne let out a giggle, flicking her long wavy blonde hair off her shoulder as she took her turn. “Me too.”

“Yeah,” Niall laughed as he flipped over the card and moved his spaces, declaring himself the winner, “we can kick their butts together!”

Their blue eyes locked over the tiny specks of dwindling sunlight that peeked in through the cracks of the rotting wood walls as Ryanne leaned over to rest her elbows on her crossed knees. “Deal,” she told him.

They had no idea what that would really mean.  

Niall and Ryanne were like soulmates, almost from the moment they met. They were different, but in the most complimenting ways and never had more than a childish spat here and there. All they wanted to do was be together, play games and watch movies, run and laugh and play. They really were the best of friends. They had each other and that was all they needed. Every single day and all summer long for the next few years. Completely inseparable.

It wasn’t until Ryanne turned twelve, that things started to change. She didn’t notice it at first; it was typical of Niall to want to be around boys his age more now that they were in secondary school, so seeing him distance himself a little from her wasn’t so unexpected. She understood this and was even making her own friends with some of the other girls in the neighborhood. Ryanne had hit puberty over that long hot summer, her body changing and her thoughts slowly becoming more inquisitive and mature. She spent less time outside in their little shack in the woods and more time inside doing her makeup and picking out cute outfits in her fashion magazines. She still saw Niall, still talked to him loads when she did, but it was becoming few and far between and it didn’t really dawn on her until that first day back at school.

Ryanne hadn’t fully become aware of just how pretty she was, frankly she had no idea that boys were starting to look at her differently and noticing her more. Niall sure wasn’t gonna be the one to tell her, even though every time he looked at her, something inside him felt weird, felt much different than before. They’d chat at the bus stop in the mornings and wave hi to one another in the halls, but as the months turned colder and the days became shorter, Ryanne began to feel this ache inside of her that she couldn’t quite place. She knew when she thought of Niall or saw him in school, that a warmness would trickle through her, and she knew that sometimes she’d go to bed at night and wonder what Niall was doing or how his day had been. But she couldn’t quite put her finger on why he made her feel like that and why he was suddenly always on her mind.

He was her best friend, or at least he used to be, but she wondered if that wasn’t really acceptable. She was a girl and he was a boy, they were growing up and maybe that meant they couldn’t be best friends anymore. That it just wouldn’t be able to work. Boys and girls can’t be best friends. Can they?

The week back after Christmas holiday, Niall saw her in the hallway. She was standing by her locker, long blonde hair braided off to the side that crept down over the front of her shoulder. She was wearing a lavender skirt – her favorite color – and a white cable knit jumper. Niall took a deep breath, biting at his bottom lip as he clutched his books in his hand and made his way over to her.

She turned to look at him as he stepped closer, almost as if she sensed his presence and gave him a smile. He felt those light flutters in his stomach again, the corner of his mouth tugging up slightly as he nervously raked his fingers through his messy hair. “You dyed your hair blond,” she spoke up first, her blue eyes shooting up to drift over his freshly dyed locks. He dropped his face down, the toe of his trainer kicking out slightly before he felt the sudden push of her fingers slip through the front fringe of his hair.

Niall’s blue eyes flew up as she eased her hand down, a soft grin pulling at her shimmery glossed lips. “I like it,” she said.

“Thanks.”

Ryanne’s focus went back to her task of sorting her books into her bag as Niall cleared his throat, tugging at the front collar of his t-shirt as it felt like it had all of a sudden shrunk up around his neck. “Um, so how was your, uh, holiday?” Niall asked her, the faint squeak of his changing voice jerking her attention back to him.

“It was okay,” Ryanne said quietly, tipping her head down as she pulled a pencil out from the pocket of her bag.

“Get anything good?” Niall was encouraging her now, his blue eyes locking in on hers to engage any bit of her as he could as Ryanne twisted her body a bit more to face him. His skin grew hot, his cheeks bleeding a shade of pink that he knew she would be able to spot from a mile away but all he cared about was hearing her voice. He had missed her voice.

Ryanne smiled at him again, her head tilting to the side and indulging in his sudden interest in her. She hadn’t seen him at all during the holiday break and it would be safe to say that she had missed him too, even though it all felt so much different now. Ryanne began to talk, her hands moving as fast as her mouth as she delved right into the few significant items she had received for Christmas. Never aware that Niall’s glazed over stare had not once faltered off of her as he listened so intently.

She was like a dream to him, beautiful and soft, something that he never wanted to wake up from. His eyes would linger on her mouth as she spoke, the words ruffling off of Ryanne’s lips like the water of a calming brook bubbling over its tiny river stones, hypnotizing and seductive in their own right. He’d clear his throat and shift on his feet, settling his eyes back to hers for fear that she would become aware of his growing attention to the few places that he had never really noticed before.

Ryanne stuttered over her words as his stare narrowed at her, his pink turned down mouth falling open slightly. “Niall?” she asked him, confusion ringing in her voice as to why he was looking at her that way, “are you…are you okay?”

Niall blinked fast, lightly shaking his head as he stepped back from her, the proximity becoming overwhelming for him. He could feel the heat radiating off of her body, her faintly scented sweet pea perfume wafting around him and filling his senses.

“I’m, uh….yeah, Ry, I’m fine,” Niall spurted out, his brows pulling in, “Gotta get to class. See ya later, yeah?”

Dropping her hands in haste, Ryanne watched as Niall stumbled backwards, almost walking straight into a teacher before turning and practically running down the hallway. She huffed out a chuckle, stare fixated on Niall until he rounded a corner and she could no longer see that shaggy mop of bleached blond hair. Ryanne knew his behavior was strange that day, but she had no idea why.

Niall knew though. He knew and it scared the life out of him. Because that was the day that Niall realized he was in love with Ryanne.

It’s been almost ten years since that day. Six years since Niall left Mullingar and moved to London to pursue his dream. Four years since Ryanne had actually seen Niall in the flesh and two years since she had heard his voice on the phone. See, Niall Horan achieved his dream, he took a chance to show the world what he was made of, and it very much paid off for him. He became a member of one of the most well known boybands in the world. He was famous. And Ryanne was not.

She continued to live in Mullingar until she left to go to university, her days spent going to classes and her nights mostly spent hanging in her dorm. Things changed over those six years after Niall had left; her parents divorced, her brother got married and had a couple kids and Ryanne basically shut down and kept to herself as much as she could. She couldn’t bear being without him, she couldn’t bear seeing him on the telly and hearing his voice on the radio. She couldn’t bear the thought of never being with him again. She missed him and she was still very much in love with him.

And that’s why ten years from that day when Niall first knew, Ryanne was in London and standing at his front door.

She can’t breathe, her lungs squeezing numb and her heart thumping so hard under the thin material of the top she is wearing, you can almost see it move. Her exposed skin is rising in tiny goosebumps under the light drizzle of the cold London rain as her bright blue eyes slowly flit up to the darkening sky, the slight glow of the moon floating between the strands of sunset and billowy clouds. Ryanne presses her eyes closed, feeling the tiny pelts of raindrops against her face which cools off the red heat that has risen to her cheeks.

“Ryanne?” His distinct voice slices through her like a hot knife in butter and Ryanne lowers her chin to bring her face to his. Iridescent blue eyes matching in the low light that is seeping out from Niall’s open doorway, a feeling of regret begins to creep up her spine. Maybe I shouldn’t be here, she thinks before cutting her own thoughts off fast. Her light blonde hair is slightly frazzled, matted down in the front from the rain and she has beads of water dripping off her jaw, but it’s as if she’s standing two feet from the sun when she looks at him. Niall stays silent, his mouth parted and brows furrowed in as he stares back at her like he has just seen Ryanne’s ghost.

Maybe he thinks he is seeing her ghost.

Swallowing back the nerves that are bubbling up in her throat, it was now or never.

“I’m still in love with you.”

The words, simple and pure, blurt past her rose colored lips as the silence surrounding them heightens to deafening levels. His eyes never leave hers, just as in all those years her heart has never left his. It all came down to this, this very estranged intimate moment that was forcing the both of them to come face to face with what they have seemed to be avoiding all these years. Ryanne knows how she feels for Niall, she knows how it feels to be without him, to see him splashed across the tabloids and hear rumors of him with other girls. She knows how that makes her feel. Ryanne just doesn’t know how Niall feels. Not anymore and that’s what scares her.

Niall takes in a deep breath, his stare falling over her drenched body. “Why don’t ya come inside, you’re soakin’ wet,” he whispers to Ryanne, stepping back to welcome her in. Shifting her eyes to her feet as she slowly steps inside, Niall quickly jets down a small hallway leaving her standing alone in the foyer right by his front door. The raindrops trickle down her skin, her eyes falling closed as she feels the shivers start to overcome her practically frozen body. Breathing hushedly past her parted lips, her mind goes hazy before she feels the light pat of soft warmth press against her cheek.

Ryanne’s blue eyes ease open, met instantly with the heat of Niall’s. He has brought her a towel, gently using it to dab away at the drops of rain. The soft ticking of a clock that hangs on a nearby wall sears through the quiet that has settled between them and Ryanne’s eyes shakily follow the movement of Niall’s hand as he continues to dry the wet away. She reaches up, the nerves making her hand tremble and gently grabs the towel from him, his stare shooting over to meet hers just as she whispers a soft ‘thanks’. Niall gives her a small grin, letting his hand fall to his side as she finishes drying herself off. It’s been years since he’s laid eyes on her and he struggles with moving his stare away, focusing on how she swipes the edge of the towel across her collarbones and down over her bare shoulders.

It jostles something inside of Niall as he watches her, the way her damp blonde hair tousles down over the side of her face and her delicate skin soft and gleaming with a slight dewiness that makes his heart almost skip a beat. It has been years since he’s seen her in the flesh, and the feeling he was having, it was as if nothing had ever changed.

“It’s been a long time,” Niall speaks up, lightly clearing his throat. She shoots her eyes to his, flicking her head to the side a bit in attempt to unstick the wet hair from the side of her face. “You look beautiful.”

The words kind of slip out of Niall’s mouth, natural and easy, just as they did eight years ago and Ryanne smiles, her stomach tying itself into a heavy knot as she never thought she would hear anything like that from him again. She had hoped, but never assumed.

She struggles to catch her breath as Niall’s stare darts over her features, sure that she looks very much a mess but took comfort in knowing that’s never how Niall saw her. She was always beautiful to him.

Puffing out a bashful grin, Ryanne tips her head down slightly to peer at the white marble floor that rests just beneath her feet before glancing back up at Niall. “And you’re not a kid anymore,” she mumbles, unsure of what she actually means by that. Of course he’s not a kid anymore. He is a man. A gorgeous man that has grown and matured in ways that Ryanne always knew he would. But there is something about him, when she looks into those ocean blue eyes, that reminds her of the old Niall. The Niall she had grown up with and knew. Even with all that he has accomplished and achieved, even with his fame and fortune, Ryanne knows he is still that same kid from Mullingar who ate sand and kissed her like the world was going to end.

Niall smirks at her comment before slipping the towel from her grasp. “Neither are you,” he quips to her, raising a brow and taking a step back. “So, would ya like a drink or somethin’? Maybe some water?”

Nodding her head, Ryanne keeps her stare on him as he backs up and begins to head towards his kitchen. “Water would be good,” she barely chokes out just as he disappears around the corner. Her eyes lag up to his ceiling, taking in the sights of his recessed lighting and bright white walls. From her spot in the foyer, she can see into his lounge, a long black couch practically wrapping around the room that is centered around a small fireplace and a huge television that hangs on the wall above it. The place is filled with interesting photos that splatter the walls and tons of awards that are strewn about the shelves that encase the telly.

Hearing him fumbling around in his fridge, her stare flicks across from her to the wide open wall of sliding glass doors that seemingly lead out to his back garden. Everything is so perfect, so meticulous and well kept and clean. It is all very…Niall.

Ryanne’s fingers wring nervously within her clasped hands as she waits for Niall, his socked feet padding lightly across his hard floor. “Your house is nice,” she blurts out as he rounds the corner again.

Handing her the bottle of Evian, she glances down at his hand that is wrapped around the top as she gingerly takes it from him. “Thanks,” Niall mentions, resting his hands on his hips, “Bit of a step up from the Commons, eh?”

Ryanne lets out a tiny giggle at his joke, a sound so pure and sweet, one that Niall has always sworn was the work of angels in heaven, and it makes a reminiscent smile tug across his lips. “How’s your family, Ry? Haven’t heard from them in ages…”

“They’re well.”

“And you?”

Ryanne pauses for a moment, her throat feeling like it’s constricting around the words that she’s not so sure she can repeat again. Me?, she thinks, why I’m still in love with you. Pressing her lips in a line, she darts her eyes across his face, settling on the way his teeth just barely peek out from the part of his lips. “I’m…here.”

Her teeth bite down into her bottom lip as room falls silent, even the rattling of their breathing seems to halt and Ryanne slowly flicks her blue eyes back up to his. He is staring at her, narrowed and inquisitive,  as if he knows the reason she is here isn’t just to stop by and talk about his house or her family. Niall knows Ryanne. And he knows, even before she let it slip that she still loves him, that deep down it is much more than that.

“Why don’t we go sit down and chat for a bit, yeah?”

Ryanne feels a relieved sigh seep from her pinched lungs and she gingerly nods her head at his request. “Okay.”

Niall leads her into his living room, walking just a bit in front of her and Ryanne’s timid stare slowly slides up from the floor, skimming the length of his body. He has changed quite a bit physically since the last time she had seen him. His shoulders broader, arms thicker, the slight stubble on his more chiseled face indicative that he is no longer the young lad he used to be. His body has matured in a way that sends tingles across Ryanne’s skin, the feeling making her fingers curl softly into the material of her skirt that hangs just at her thighs.

Turning around and plopping down on the sofa, Niall motions for her to join him, reaching out his hand to gently pat on the couch cushion next to him. Ryanne throws him a smile, one that still makes his skin grow hot and his cheeks bleed that familiar shade of pink, as she sits down next to him, cautious of not letting her bare knee brush against his.

Niall is aware of how much Ryanne has matured as well, he was never one to miss it while growing up either, and his eyes drift down the side of her face as she curiously lets her stare dance across the room. Her long blonde hair still sits in soft waves down her back and her skin still looks as if it smells of sweet pea just as it did back then, but he knows she’s different. She is a woman. And not just in a way that gets thrown around in conversation when a girl starts to change, but she has become poised and elegant. Her features sharp but soft, her body full and more rounded in places. She is stunning. She has, in every sense of the word that Niall knew it to be, become a woman.

Ryanne can feel his gaze on her, it is nothing she isn’t used to, but it feels a bit different now, like Niall is trying to see all the things that he has missed over the years, recounting how long they have truly been apart. It makes a warmth curl up in her tummy, her arms folding in around her middle as if she is trying to hold in that comforting feeling.

She turns her face towards his, catching his eyes before pointing up at a portrait that is hanging on Niall’s wall. One of him and the other boys standing with rock legend, Ronnie Wood. Ryanne asks him about the photo, eager to hear all the details of Niall’s exciting life and he grins at her as he begins to tell her the story of that night, how it was probably one of the most influential moments of his career. Ryanne just stares at him, watching as he leans forward with his elbows resting on his knees and his big hands gently moving along with the words that readily leave his mouth.

His voice has gotten deeper, Ryanne notices as she listens, much deeper and grittier than the last time they spoke, and its raspiness clings to her ears like a cozy wool blanket in the dead of winter. Her stare flits over his profile, noticing it has changed a lot from when they were younger, and lands on the movement of his lips. His teeth are straighter now, but the way his lips move over the words as he speaks, was no different to when they would sit in that shed and talk for hours about ghosts or Derby or whatever else their thieving little minds could conjure up.  

She loves to watch him talk, just as much as he seems to love to listen to her, but there is something beautiful about the way his top lip curls up at certain words, or the way he sucks in a tiny breath between every other sentence. It healed her when he spoke. It made all her pains and troubles seem to float away and Niall knew that. He’d tell her stories for hours in that little shed of theirs, hoping that it would take her mind off things and calm her after her father had yelled at her or her brother had pushed her up against a wall. And it did. It always did.

And now was no different.

Ryanne’s head slowly tilts to the side as she stares at him, unaware of how much of a daze she is settling into before Niall peaks over at her, smirking like he has caught her in a compromising position. Her throat closes up as that small dip of his dimple presses into his cheek and for a moment, Ryanne simply can not breathe.

For a moment, she remembers what it’s like to kiss him. She remembers what it was like to be that close to him. To feel his warmth and taste his sweetness on her lips. It was so long ago but she remembers it like it was yesterday.

Ryanne remembers it, she just doesn’t know that Niall remembers it all the same.

She was upset. Well, more hurt than upset, but still. It was her 13th birthday party and Niall hadn’t even shown up. She waited all night for him and he never came. Each time a new guest arrived at her house, her heart would tighten in her chest hoping to see those bright blue eyes and that contagious smile before sinking right back down into her stomach when it turned out not to be him.

Ryanne didn’t understand why he just wouldn’t show up like that, he knew this was a big deal for her and to think that he could have forgotten her birthday…well, it was just too much for her broken little heart to bear. She was distraught over it to say the least, and after her last guest had left for the evening, Ryanne found herself sitting solemnly on the concrete steps of her front porch. Hunched over and still in her pink fancy dress, her small fingers lazily played with a couple loose stones as her blue eyes skimmed across the cracks in the broken step. She was so into her thoughts, pouting and cursing Niall out in her head, that she didn’t even hear the footsteps of someone walk right up to her.

“What’re ya doin’, Ry?”

Ryanne’s eyes rolled up as she lifted her chin from the cradle of her knees, catching the bright blue stare of Niall as he stood right in front of her. Her peach colored lips pursed in refusal, her brows knitting at him. “You didn’t come to my party,” she stated, making sure her voice was stern like when her mother scolded her father for buying too much beer that week.

Niall scoffed a bit, running his hand up through his dyed shaggy hair before looking back at her, the corner of his mouth tugging up. “I know,” he said, the clarity in his voice making Ryanne sit up straighter, “I wanted to celebrate with ya alone. Just…me and you.”

Her lips broke in a tiny part as her face softened and she pulled in a breath. “Me and you?”

Rolling his lips in his mouth, he nodded his head, his brows raising slightly as he held out his hand to her, motioning her to follow him. “C’mon, I got a surprise for ya.”

It didn’t take much for Ryanne to forgive Niall, it never did really, and she quietly pushed herself up from the stoop and grabbed Niall’s hand. Holding hands with Niall wasn’t a new thing, they had held hands many times over the years, but in the recent months it seemed like every time Niall reached for her, their palms cupping together and fingers gently interlacing, it just meant something so much more. Ryanne wasn’t sure why her heart would race and her skin would tingle at his slightest touch, but as they slowly jogged hand and hand through the field and into the wooded brush towards their special place, she knew it was a feeling she never wanted to lose.

Niall stopped her as they came up to the door of the shed, telling her to wait one second and to close her eyes. Ryanne giggled at his excitement, the feelings rubbing off on her as she obliged and pinched her eyes closed, her bottom lip tucking itself between her teeth. She heard the small wooden door creak open and a few things being moved about inside before Niall poked his head out and grabbed her hand once more, carefully leading her in.

Stepping into the shed, Ryanne wasn’t very sure of what she would find, but Niall seemed anxious for her to see, proudly shuffling around to the other side and telling her to open her eyes so she could finally get a glance. Her white ballet flats froze cold on the splintered wooden floor, her blue eyes going wide as she peered down in front of Niall. There, in the middle of their pile of blankets, sitting perfectly on an old tattered flipped over shoe box, was a tiny ceramic plate with a single chocolate cupcake. It had a yellow candle sticking out of the middle of it and there was a tiny gold box resting right beside the plate.

Ryanne didn’t know what to do or what to say, her heart full and the butterflies swarming wild through her belly, so much so that it almost made it ache. Her hands swung up to cup over her mouth as she squealed out his name, stumbling forward before kneeling down right in front of the cupcake. Niall smiled at her, watching the glow from the candle light up her skin as much as the look on her face was lighting up the feelings inside him and he plopped himself down on the blankets across from her.

“Make a wish,” he told her, her baby blue eyes dancing across his face. She giggled again, her hands coming up to hold her long blonde hair out of the way as she leaned in and blew away the flickering flame.  

“Niall, this is…” Ryanne’s voice trailed off as her hands planted themselves on the blankets at either side of the shoebox, her eyes darting heavy with his. She was not sure what she wanted to say, or if there were even words to describe what she was feeling and how much this meant to her, but Niall knew. He knews without her even saying it.

“It’s incredible,” she finished in a soft whisper.

Niall breathed out a short chuckle and tucked his face down for a moment before he shot his eyes over to the small gift. “Open it,” he told Ryanne, watching as she shifted her gaze from the movement of his lips down to the tiny gold box.

Ryanne sat back on her heels, licking at her lips as she picked up the box and began to untie the tiny bow that Niall had tied around it. Her eyes flicked up to him, his finger anxiously finding its way to his mouth as he watched her jiggle off the top of the box and part her lips in a shallow gasp.

“Oh my God, Niall.”

He felt a tinge of satisfaction shoot through him as he dropped his hand to his lap and smiled, the look on her face as she pulled the delicate silver charm bracelet from the box, something he knew he would never forget. “This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” she told him, dropping the box to the floor and carefully spreading out the bracelet and putting it on her wrist.

“Here,” Niall said to her, reaching over the shoebox, “Let me help ya put it on.”

Ryanne sat still, her slim wrist turned over as he fiddled with the tiny clasp, a grin pulling over her mouth as she glanced up to see his tongue just peeking out of his pressed lips in concentration. Sitting back as Niall finally got it hooked, Ryanne peered down at her wrist, watching the light of their lamp making the metal sparkle and she sucked in a tiny breath.

“How did ya get this?” She asked him, twirling her hand around and becoming entranced by the slight jingle sound the charms made. “I mean, where did ya get the money?”

Niall let out a laugh, a hearty one that settled deep in his chest. “Ya know I was mowin’ yards all summer, Ry.”

Ryanne’s mouth dropped open, her eyes going wide at Niall. She knew he had a summer job, but she had no idea that he was even saving any of the money he was making from it. “You spent all your mowin’ money on…me?”

He shrugged, his mouth turning down slightly. “Can’t think of anythin’ better to spend it on.”

“Niall…”

Ryanne wasn’t one to be shy with her thoughts and words around Niall, not in the least, but at that moment, knowing what he had done and it probably being the nicest thing anyone had ever given her, she really felt the nerves begin to creep through her. “Thank you,” she whispered, the words not seeming to be enough considering how he had made her feel.

“I’m glad ya like it,” Niall quipped, gnawing at the side of his lip. Ryanne gave him a smile and let out another giggle as she peeked down at the cupcake that was sitting on the plate and quickly reached out to it, swiping her finger through the thick frosting.

“Yeah…me mother made that.”

Ryanne rolled her eyes as she stuck her finger in her mouth, sucking off the sugary goodness. “I could’ve bet me own money on that one, Ni,” she sarcastically snapped back at him, his eyes still glued to her every move. Flicking her hair over her shoulder, Ryanne slipped her finger from her rounded lips and slowly let her gaze settle on his. The small room begun to grow warm, the quietness that started to surround them slowly beating in their ears like a motionless static and it was the first time in their lives that neither of them wanted to break it.

Something felt different, like an electricity had found its way into their little shed and was charging its way and sparking uncontrollably between them. Niall had waited for that very moment, that single moment, all year long and it was finally time for him to seize it. He knew she would be scared, he knew she would probably question everything he was about to do, but he knew she felt it just as much as he did. “I, um…I’ve got another present for ya, Ry.”

“Really?”

Ryanne’s brows furrowed a bit at Niall’s statement, not sure what else he could possibly have for her but as she felt the distance between them begin to draw in as Niall shifted his body closer to her, something inside her flipped. Her chest halted to a stop, her lungs squeezing around her held breath as her eyes watched Niall lean into her, his eyelids falling closed as his mouth slowly inched towards hers. Her mind was frantic, unsure and scared as to what he was about to do and what it could all mean and without thinking, Ryanne pulled back from him and gasped in a jumbled breath.

Niall’s eyes popped open, confused but understanding as he pressed his pink lips in a line. A million things flashed through Ryanne’s head, and it wasn’t that she didn’t want to kiss Niall, it wasn’t that at all, it was that she was scared of what would happen when she did. She was worried that things would change, that their friendship would no longer be there, but muddled with the complexity of new feelings that neither one of them would know how to handle.

Kissing him wouldn’t change her feelings for Niall, but it might change who they were together.

“I’m…I’m scared,” she blurted out to him, eyes darting as he gave her a turned down smile.

Niall knew she was scared, he knew she had never even kissed a boy before, but he also knew that their feelings for one another were something that no one else would ever share. “I know,” he muttered back softly, “It’s okay, Ry.”

Ryanne settled her breath as she felt Niall’s hand come up and gently cup around her cheek. It was the most softest touch she had ever felt from him, from anyone really and in that instant, her body relaxed and she knew everything would be alright. Leaning forward, her hands fell back to the blanket at either side of the shoebox as Niall’s jittery fingers slipped through the side of her light colored hair, tenderly cradling around her face. Tilting their heads, Niall could feel his heart practically thump out of his chest as he closed his eyes and leaned in again, gently pulling Ryanne closer to him.

Letting her chest expand as she held the air solid in her lungs, Ryanne’s fingers gently curled into the material of the blankets as she felt the warmth of Niall’s breath fan across her face. Her skin tingled and her eyes fluttered closed, the anticipation of his lips on hers overwhelming her more than she had ever thought it would.

Their lips faintly pressed together, both of them holding their mouths against the other one before she felt the tiniest of movements coming from Niall. It startled her at first, his lips moving against hers but she soon let go of her inhibitions and found a rhythm with him. It was slow, sweet, the warmth vibrating through Ryanne’s body as the taste of chocolate frosting slipped from her lips to Niall’s and it wasn’t long before he timidly pulled back, both of them shooting their eyes open.

Heavy breaths filled the enclosed space of the shed as blue eyes locked in on one another. Both of them had felt it, felt something, that burning and pure need for each other that Ryanne was completely right about. That kiss would change who they were together.

Ryanne watched as a mischievous smirk crept over Niall’s cherry red lips, his hand slowly untangling from her hair and falling to his lap. She let out a giggle, the sound sending a ripple of heat through Niall as he watched her tip her face down into the cup of her palm. Ryanne had never kissed a boy before, but she was positive that any kiss she would have had, would have never in a million years compared to that one.

“Happy Birthday, Ry.”

“I can’t believe these are all yours,” Ryanne tells him, her eyes slowly dragging over the shelves, shifting from one award to the next. She reaches up, the jingle from her silver charm bracelet that encircles her wrist catching Niall’s attention, and gently lets the tips of her fingers glide over the shiny metal of the award that sits at the end.

Niall lets out a breathy chuckle, his head tipping down. “Didn’t think I’d make it?”

Shooting her stare over to him, he peeks at her through the corners of his eyes, watching as her brows furrow and her hand drops back down to her side. Ryanne has no idea why he would even say something like that to her, he knows she was always his biggest supporter. “That’s not even funny, Niall,” she remarks, rolling her eyes, “I always knew you’d make it, you know that.”

Niall does know that. Ryanne is his biggest fan. She was the one who pushed him to try out for The X Factor in the first place, but he had always kind of felt like there was a tiny part of her that never actually wanted him to do it, never really wanted him to leave. Sucking in a breath, Niall brings his face back up, slipping his hands down into his front pockets as he looks forward and joins Ryanne in marveling at his achievements.

“So, what’ve ya been up to then, Ry? Still killin’ it at uni?”

Ryanne gives Niall a snort, clear that he has no clue how much time has actually passed since they last spoke. “I’ve graduated Niall,” she tells him, watching as his eyes fly back over to settle on hers.

“Really? That’s amazin’!” he says, raising his brows, “Congratulations!”

A smile curls over her lips as Niall leans in, throwing his arms over her shoulders to pull her into a hug. Her breath stalls in her chest, almost painfully so, as his body presses tightly against hers. She hasn’t felt his arms around her in years, but she instinctively tucks her nose down into the curve of his shoulder, her arms wrapping firmly around his slim sides. Niall can feel her heart racing against his chest, and he’s hoping she’s not able to feel the rapid beat of his own as he nuzzles his face into the side of her hair, his eyes slowly falling closed. They stay intertwined together like this for far longer than normal, but it’s as if their grip on one another gets tighter and tighter with each passing second, unsure if subconsciously neither of them really want to let go.

Niall takes in a breath, letting the enticing smell of her, which is different than before but somehow just as sweet, gently over take him and fill his senses. If there is one thing in this world that Niall loved, it was hugging Ryanne. And if there is one thing Ryanne missed, it was Niall hugging her.

It always felt like home with him. Comfortable and protected, like nothing in the world could ever harm her. He was her safe place. The one place that could always make all the bad seem to disappear and she missed that. She missed him.

Ryanne snuggles her face down against him even more, the silence that has wafted between them easy as they both begin to fall into a state of reassurance. This just feels right. Even after all this time.

Her nose barely nudges against the side of Niall’s neck and she feels his pulse quicken slightly as his hands drag up into the thick of her hair. Slowly sliding the side of his face away from hers, Ryanne shivers against him as the prickles from his stubble gently brush against her cheek. Easing her eyes open, she lifts her head from the guarded crook of his shoulder to lazily peer up at him, his large hands still gently cradling around the back of her head.

Niall swallows hard and lets his stare fall over her face, soaking in the tiny dots of her freckles that lay across the bridge of her nose and over the round of her cheeks. Licking across his lips, it takes everything he has in him not to kiss her right then, knowing that with Ryanne, you must always play it exactly right. She is special, important and fragile in the most intricate ways.

Instead, Niall smiles at her and carefully slips his fingers from her hair. Ryanne lets out an unknown held breath when Niall does this, watching as his arms swing down by his sides. “I’ve always thought about you, ya know,” he says to her, darting his blue eyes with hers and wanting her to know that things have never really changed for him, “Over the years, I’ve always thought about you.”

In retrospect, Niall knew better. He did, he knew she would be monumentally upset if she ever found out, but he was just so angry.

A year after their perfect first kiss, Niall and Ryanne had been off and on dating for awhile. They used the term “dating” very loosely; it was really more of them holding hands in the hallways and kissing at the bus stop between their petty little arguments and presumptuous bouts of banter, then anything else. Normal Ni and Ry, but mixed with the heavy emotions of changing hormones and quarrels of typical teenagers. They’d date then break up, then get back together yet again.

They were already having a heated afternoon while waiting for the school bus, Ryanne feeling inadequate with a test score she had received in class, and Niall not really understanding why she was so upset about it as his endless teasing had began to infuriate her. “You just don’t get it, Ni,” she snipped at him as his fingers tickled at her ribs, Ryanne’s hands desperately trying to pry him off, “I can’t afford to fall below!”

“Ry, come on, it’s one test, you’ll be fine.” Niall tried to grab her around her waist one more time and pull her into a kiss, but Ryanne was just not having it, huffing out as she pushed away from him and made her way onto the bus that had just pulled up. He rolled his eyes at her behavior, one that lately he had seen quite a bit of, and a few other kids slipped between them to file onto the bus before Niall stepped on himself to quickly search around for Ryanne.

It was a ritual. They always sat together in the 9th seat back, right next to the only window that actually opened on the old school bus. But as his eyes scanned down the row and paused at the 9th seat, he found that it was…empty. Niall’s brows furrowed as the driver rushed him to find a seat and he begrudgingly slumped himself down onto the empty bench in the 9th row.

The driver began to pull away from the school and Niall quickly whipped himself around, straightening his back to peer over the seats. His blue eyes immediately found Ryanne, all the way towards the back of the bus, sharing a bench with a girl they both knew called Chloe. His stare met Ryanne’s for a split second, the glare she was bestowing upon him not a foreign one between them in the past few weeks, before she shifted her attention over to Chloe, engaging her in conversation.

Ryanne didn’t really want to talk to Chloe, really she didn’t have much in common with her other than them living in the same neighborhood, but she really couldn’t take the look Niall was shooting her way any longer. She just didn’t get why he didn’t understand how important school work and grades were to her, and it made her angry that he didn’t even try to get it. He just acted like it was no big deal and, honestly it was bugging her that as of late, he was always trying to fix their arguments with a kiss.

It just wasn’t that simple. No matter how much she loved to kiss him.

The bus bumped along, the ride lasting no more than twenty minutes, with Niall stealing silent glances at Ryanne the entire way. What Ryanne didn’t know, is that Niall did get it, he did understand why she was upset. He loved her. He knew her in a way that no one else did and he knew she was uncompromisingly brilliant and that she took her studies very seriously. He also knew that she deserved to not stress over things that, in the long run, wouldn’t have an impact on her life. One less than perfect test score was not going to ruin her future. She was too good for that and Niall knew. He just hated seeing her upset, he hated seeing her angry and disappointed in herself.

Coming up to their stop, the bus slowed down and the door creaked open to let the kids off. Niall jumped up out of his seat, standing there and letting others go before him as he waited for Ryanne. She kept her head down as she passed him, Ryanne certain that if she looked up she’d be mush in his hands in seconds and at that moment, she was just not ready to talk to him. Niall whispered her name as she passed, the sound of his voice slipping past her ears and tugging at her chest and she cleared her throat and kept walking, ignoring him as she stepped off the bus.

Niall let out a disconcerted huff, clambering down the steps and into the chilly fall afternoon air as he promptly began to follow Ryanne down the sidewalk, both trudging off towards their respective houses. He called out her name, and then again once more before Ryanne finally came to a stop and turned around, Niall’s heart skipping a beat as her long blonde hair swung around her front.  

“What, Niall!” She shouted, dropping her grip on her backback straps to hold her hands out towards him, “What do ya want?!”

He quickly stepped up to her and furrowed his brows. “Why’re you ignorin’ me, Ry, c’mon, I’m just tryin’ to talk to ya.”

“Niall, I don’t wanna talk.”

Ryanne let out a sigh, both of them watching the billow of her hot breath puff into the cold air as she crossed her arms over her chest. “I know you’re upset, but listen, you just gotta chill, ya know? Sometimes grades aren’t all that matter-”

“Maybe not to you, Niall!” Ryanne spit back, cutting him off. Niall’s eyes went big as she raised her voice at him, something that Ryanne barely ever did, “But some of us aren’t like you, okay, some of us actually have to work hard to get where we wanna be. Some of us actually fuckin’ care where our life is goin’ and we don’t get to slack off and hope our talent takes us places!”

The sharpness of the last bit broke nasty off of Ryanne’s tongue and even she knew it was wrong. She had gone too far and it sat bitter and rancid in the pit of her stomach. She watched Niall’s face drop, his heavy lidded eyes slagging down her face and falling to her feet. Ryanne wanted to apologize right then and there, she should have, but at that moment, she just couldn’t find the strength to. She was still too angry.

Niall shook his head at himself, bringing his stare back up to Ryanne’s. She was always his biggest fan and always supported his dreams, always the first one that he sang his songs to and showed the newest chords he had learned, but now it just felt like she was antagonizing him because of it all. Letting out a huffed breath, Niall ran a hand through his hair and quickly darted his eyes with hers. “Ya know what, Ry, screw you,” he snapped, having had enough of her that day and he pushed past her, his shoulder brushing harshly against hers.

Ryanne shot her eyes over her shoulder as she watched him walk away, her breath halting in her chest and catching him just as he turned around to yell one last thing to her. “And by the way, we’re through.”

Her eyes pressed closed in defeat, Niall whipping back around and practically jogging towards his house that was still a ways down the road and around the corner. He could feel the anger boiling up in his veins the faster he ran, his mind circling her words through his head like a sieve, dissecting each bit and let it sting over him one by one.

Ryanne knew he didn’t mean it, saying that they we’re through, just in the same way she didn’t mean what she had said. It was something that was thrown around probably a thousand times a week between them. They were crazy dysfunctional, neither of them not knowing how to be in a real relationship nor taking the time to really figure it out. They were only fourteen after all, still kids, but ones that were so insanely in love with each other that they didn’t know how to truly handle it.

She knew she had to apologize, Ryanne knew that she was in the wrong for what she said and that Niall was only trying to relax her and calm her down and she had just taken it to a level that wasn’t necessary. Ryanne loved Niall, she wholeheartedly believed in him and knew he was super talented. She knew he was going to make something of himself and leave Mullingar and get to live all his dreams. She really did, but in that one single moment, she had let him believe that she didn’t and that thought broke her heart more than anything he could’ve said to her.

Making her way towards her house, Ryanne decided to keep walking and head to Niall’s instead, knowing he would be there and probably waiting on his front steps for her. Biting at her lip, Ryanne slowly racked her brain, making sure to have her words to him all planned out by the time she made it to his front stoop and was ready to face him.

She didn’t have to make it that far though. With her feet coming to a stop at the corner, her blue eyes went big and her mouth slowly hung open as she tried to contemplate what she was seeing. Niall with Chloe. Niall kissing Chloe. Right on his front steps.

Ryanne felt her heart twist violently in her chest, the vomit already bubbling up to sit heavy in the back of her throat and she choked back the tears that she could feel building. His hands were wrapped around her waist, his eyes pressed closed as his tongue slid into her mouth. Ryanne felt betrayed, she felt sick, she felt like her entire world was collapsing in on her and all she could do was stand there silent and watch it all happen.

Niall had no idea Ryanne was watching, really he had no intention of her even finding out that he had kissed Chloe, but for some reason he sensed her. He felt her presence, her big blue innocent eyes boring into him and it sent a shudder up his spine, causing him to pull away from Chloe with a smack. His stare immediately flicked over to his left, just as Ryanne had turned around and began to run back towards her house.

Pushing Chloe aside, Niall took off after her, practically tripping and almost falling to his face on the edge of the sidewalk as he shouted her name. He didn’t mean to kiss Chloe. Really, he hadn’t meant to do it, it just happened and he was angry and not thinking clearly. And he never would’ve done it to purposely hurt Ryanne. Never.

“Ryanne, wait!”

Wiping the tears from under her eyes, Ryanne paused and sniffed back her sobs as she slowly turned around to face him. Niall slowed his running, stopping a mere three feet from Ryanne as he bent over to try and catch his breath.

His back heaved as he struggled to even form words, clouds of his hot breath dissipating between them. Niall stared up at her, a twinge yanking at his heart as he caught a glimpse of her watery eyes, the brims red and filled with tears. He hated to see her cry. “I’m sorry, Ry,” he told her, shaking his head as his brows pulled in, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snog her-”

“Save it, Niall,” Ryanne choked out between her tiny listless cries, an obvious dryness settling in the back of her mouth as she tried to clear her throat and steadily glared at him, “I will never…ever forgive ya for this.”

Her words sawed through Niall’s heart like a broken rusty knife, sure to cause a unstoppable pulse of blood that would slowly fill his lungs and drown him in his own sorrow. If there was one thing Niall knew for certain about Ryanne, it was that she never lied. Ever. And he knew she wasn’t about to start now.

He watched as she shook her head at him, waving a hand as she spun around on her heels and stumbled back towards her house.

“You hungry?” Niall asks her, his socked feet thudding loudly across his floor as he mindlessly runs his hands through his messy, unstyled hair. They have just finished taking a tour of his house, Ryanne very impressed with how well Niall has actually done for himself over all these years. Impressed but not surprised; she always knew he would be amazing and special. To her, he always was.

Shrugging up her shoulder, she gnaws lightly at the edge of her lip. “I could go for a bite.”

Niall lets out a laugh, the chuckling sound reverberating off his walls and hitting Ryanne straight in the gut. It was a sound that could always strike memories in her.

Following Niall into his kitchen, she watches him as he yanks open the fridge door, a low hum vibrating from his throat as he searches over the glass shelves. Tipping her head at him as he bends down and pulls open a drawer to rummage through, Ryanne leans herself up against the counter before glancing around the monochromatic space. Every single thing in Niall’s home is so clean and sleek, his kitchen proving to be no different and the thought makes her smile.

Finally standing back up, Niall grabs a plastic tub of hummus and some baby carrots from the drawer, his choice of a healthy snack making a giggle slip past Ryanne’s lips. He smirks at her reaction as he steps over next to her and sets the things on the counter. Lifting herself with her hands clasping tight to the edge, Ryanne slides her bottom up on the countertop and crosses her legs at her ankles as she watches Niall peel off the top of the hummus and tear open the bag of carrots.

“You’re so health conscious now,” Ryanne jokes with him, giving him a little shove to the shoulder as he peeks up at her.

Niall shoots her a chuckle as he pulls a carrot from the bag and swipes it through the hummus, holding it out to her to take. “Gotta be if I’m gonna keep up this exquisite physique.”

Rolling her back in a laugh as she plucks the carrot from his fingers, her face tucks down into her palm, the heat ruffling up to her cheeks. One thing is for sure, Niall could still make Ryanne laugh like no other.

Niall likes that though. He likes looking over and seeing her, this girl that he has loved for more than half his life, doubling over in giggles from his chosen words. He loved to hear her laugh, see her laugh, feel her laugh. It was one of those things that he would think about as he laid in bed alone at night, which seemed to be more often than not lately. Ryanne didn’t need to know that though.

Niall is able to make Ryanne laugh about six more times in the next five minutes that they chat and nibble on carrots and hummus, the feelings of their youth rushing back to the both of them quicker than they thought possible. It was like nothing had really changed, like they hadn’t been apart for the last six years at all.

Dusting off her hands, Ryanne chews the last bit of her carrot as Niall packs the snacks up and goes over to throw them back into the fridge. Leaning on her palms that she has tucked up under the bend of her knees, Ryanne’s eyes aimlessly flick down next to her, noticing a package of red strawberry licorice laces that is practically stuffed behind Niall’s coffee maker.

Ryanne swallows hard as a heated tingle works its way from the tips of her toes to the apples of her cheeks, her pale skin surely showing the signs of her increasing blush. That was his candy. Their candy. Their most favorite.

Flicking her stare back over to Niall as he steps closer to her, she darts her blue eyes with his and a smirk curls over his lips as he notices what she has been looking at. “Licorice laces, huh, Ni?” Ryanne asks him, her voice as sweet as the strawberry candy that sits next to her.

Niall knows what she means and Ryanne knows what she means, and both their minds soar heavily with the thoughts of the single night that they both would never forget.

The dead of summer in Ireland wasn’t always the hottest compared to other places, but every so often you’d get those days that were almost unbearable and it was those days that the kids most often looked forward to.

Ryanne and Niall had made up from the kissing debacle that had happened the previous year, but never did date again, not really. Ryanne just couldn’t get past it, not in her heart. They were friends again, pretty much still inseparable, but that was all. Just friends. That meant no holding hands, no touching and most definitely…no kissing. Niall thought that was the hardest part, Ryanne was positive that was the hardest part.

They were fifteen now, just about to start year 10 and it was good that they could hang out as friends and have fun. That didn’t stop Niall from finding himself staring at Ryanne every time she brushed her long hair off of her neck, or Ryanne feeling the butterflies float through her belly each time Niall got close enough for her to catch a wiff of his body wash.

The tension was still there, the desire and want and need to kiss and touch. But it had been too long, and both of them knew that it was probably better off.

It was Ryanne’s last free summer day before she was supposed to head off to camp for the next four weeks, and of course, it happened to be one of the hottest days of the season so far. Her and Niall had decided to spend it at the community pool, having a blast until the sky slowly began to grow a cloudy pink, the sun just beginning to set in the distance.

Jumping out of the pool, Ryanne covered her blue flowered bikini with a small pair of soft shorts as Niall dried off his exposed upper body and hung his towel over his shoulders. They hurried back to their houses, the walk taking them a good fifteen minutes and giving them decent time to completely dry off.

The air around them was humid, sticking to their chlorine covered skin and an orange haze settled above them just as they made it to Ryanne’s front steps. An eerie quiet had wrapped its way around them, Ryanne’s stare falling to the ground as Niall stood in front of her, hands gripped to the ends of the towel that still hung around his neck.

Saying goodbye to Niall, even if it was just for a little while, proved to be a lot harder for Ryanne than she had anticipated. And unbeknownst to her, it was just as hard for Niall. He smiled to himself as he watched her hand come up and tuck some slightly damp hair behind her ear. His eyes trailed over Ryanne, her usually soft pale skin having acquired a nice golden tan, unlike Niall who merely burned to a crisp in the sun and he could feel his heart quicken in his chest as a faint breeze swirled around them, causing strands of her light colored hair to brush across the front of her face.

She looked up at him, her bright blue eyes darting over his features as he sucked in a jumbled breath. “How ‘bout we go watch the sunset from the shed,” Niall suggested, something they used to do together all the time. He didn’t really know why he had brought it up just then, maybe the moment, maybe the feelings he had with saying goodbye and not wanting her to go, but for Niall, it just felt…right.

Ryanne smiled, biting into her lip as she flicked her eyes up to her front door. “I don’t know, Ni, it’s..it’s gettin’ late and I gotta leave so early in the mornin’ for camp…”

Niall stepped towards her, his grasp dropping from the towel as he gently reached out and grabbed at one of Ryanne’s hands. Her heart skipped in her chest and she shot her unassuming stare down, watching with bated breath as his big hand engulfed hers and tenderly gave her a little tug. Peeking up at Niall, she saw him looking at her with a tilted head and big curious eyes, a more than playful smirk playing across his face. “C’mon, Ry, for ol’ times sake, yeah? Can’t leave me hangin’ on the last night before ya gotta leave…”

Rolling her head to her shoulder in a sigh, Niall let out a laugh and slipped his hand from hers, content with the fact that he was very close to convincing her. But he needed one last nail in that coffin. Leaning in, he could feel the air stall in her chest as he brought his lips to her ear, clearly not wanting anyone but Ryanne to hear this last bit. “I got a secret stash of Red Laces in the treasure box, been waitin’ for the right time to eat ‘em,” Niall pulled back, Ryanne being able to breathe freely again as she peered him over, his brows raising, “Wanna share?”

There wasn’t a moment in her world that she could ever really say no to Niall, but there also wasn’t a moment in her world that she ever felt like she needed to. He never made her feel uncomfortable, never made her feel out of place. And as her blue eyes darted with his, a smile curling at the edges of her lips as her stare slowly slipped down his sunburnt nose and bright red cheeks, this was yet again another moment she she could not say no.

Red licorice laces were her weakness. And so was Niall. And he knew that.

Nodding her head, Niall let out a small cheer at his victory, Ryanne giggling profusely at his reaction before they both set off together towards the shed in the woods.

There was something about that little place of theirs, like it was their own personal slice of heaven on earth just waiting to be discovered by two little curious kids, that just made everything else seem so distant and mediocre in comparison. This place was for them, and only them. It was their secret and neither had yet to tell another living soul. They could go there and hide, get away from the yelling or the stress, their minds drifting to another world entirely it seemed. In this place they had each other, they had their words and stories and time. And for Niall and Ryanne, that’s all they needed.

You’d think watching a sunset inside a small old rundown wooden shed wouldn’t prove to be a very successful one, but actually it was one of Ryanne’s favorite things to do. If you laid just at the right angle on the blankets, something that took her quite a bit of time to master, you could see the pink and orange hues of the setting sun stream right through the slats of the walls. It would gleam off the opposite walls, hitting your skin with a warmth that nothing could compare to. You could see the dust fairies floating through the air when you breathed and as you laid back, quietly watching as the tendrils of light turned darker and slowly moved up the wood until it disappeared into the blackness of the ceiling.

That night was no different than any other. Ryanne had settled down into her usual spot atop the blankets, arms tucked up under her head as her long blonde hair fanned out beneath her. Her knobby knees were bent up and knocked together and Niall was nestled, in the same position, right beside her. He always gave Ryanne that spot, he knew it had taken her forever to find it, that perfect angle, and to him it meant he could watch her without her noticing. He was so stricken by her; so entranced in a way that made his insides feel like a pile of goo and made it hard for him to breathe. But he liked it, he liked to watch her eyes go big and her mouth part just a bit as she followed the trails of light that seeped in on them. Ryanne always seemed so complexed by things, whether it be new or something she had seen a thousand times, and Niall loved watching it all through her eyes. She was curious yet reluctant, eager yet cautious, soft…but had a bite like nothing he had seen before. Ryanne was this beautiful and charming enigma to Niall and as long as he had known her, it was like everyday he’d learn something new.

Ryanne knew Niall was watching her. Niall always watched her. She had grown used to it, in a way it made her feel safe and protected, but she couldn’t fight off the fluttering tingle it gave her in her belly to feel his stare on her that night. It was different this time. Not a bad different, but to Ryanne it just felt…like it meant more.

Turning her head to the side, Ryanne caught Niall’s stare, his eyes flicking off of her as he tried to play it off but a smile slipped over her lips as he cleared his throat and shot his face up to stare at the ceiling. The thing was, Ryanne liked to watch Niall just as much as he watched her. There was just something about him that, to her, never got old. Like every time she looked at him, he was a little bit different. A little older, a little more wiser. A little more inquisitive to the things around him. There was a part of him that never changed, but then there was this part, something that Ryanne couldn’t quite put her finger on, that could instantly capture her and make her look at him with her big doe eyes and fall into a small trance. Niall intrigued her in more ways she could count and it sent ripples of curiosity coursing through her veins.

It was inevitable with these two that a night like this would happen eventually.

It had been quiet for a good fifteen minutes, both Niall and Ryanne spread out on the blankets, eyes pasted to the fading streams of light. “I’m glad ya said yes,” Niall mumbled, his voice almost being lost within the waves of the summer heat. Ryanne knitted her brow.

“Said yes to what?”

Niall chuckled, his face turning to stare over at her. “To comin’ ‘ere and watchin’ with me.” Her eyes were still glued to the walls, the purplish lights having just hit the very top plank of wood. The sun would be completely set soon.

Ryanne smiled at her own dim-wittedness and promptly rolled her eyes. “Well, ya know I’m only here for the red laces, Ni…”

Niall’s mouth turned down in a smirk as he lifted himself up to his elbow, turning himself towards Ryanne as his head plunked down in the cup of his palm. There was no denying he was watching her now as he wasn’t even trying to hide it, and being the fifteen year old boy that he was, Niall’s stare carefully drifted down the span of Ryanne’s partially clothed body and it caused an undeniable warmth to trickle over her exposed skin. “Speakin’ of,” she continued, breaking his focus as she flicked her stare over to his, “Where are these supposed red laces, anyway?”

“I told ya, the treasure box!” Niall quipped back to her, pushing himself up slightly as he let his eyes scan over the small space of the floor, “Ya want one now?”

Biting at her lip, Ryanne’s eyes latched onto Niall as his tongue barely jut out to lick across his mouth. She nodded her head at him, her lips tugging into a sweet smile. He gave her another quick chuckle before spotting the box sitting underneath a small bunched up towel, Ryanne having thrown it down as she came into the shed.

“There it is…”

Scooting over towards her, Niall pushed himself over Ryanne, his half naked body hovering over her middle as he reached for the cardboard box. The air seemed to stand still in Ryanne’s lungs, her body freezing underneath him as the feel of his bare chest just barely brushed across her daintily covered breasts. Niall felt her tense up, a tiny gasp pulling past her parted lips and he froze, his big hand just grabbing around the edge of the box. Niall hadn’t meant to brush up against her like that, really he wasn’t even thinking when he clambered over to retrieve the box of red laces, but the moment he felt the peak of her breast slowly glide over his chest, it ignited something in him that he had been holding in for so long.

Shifting his blue eyes down to hers, Ryanne peered up at Niall as she struggled to breathe, the ache of wanting him to move but also wanting him to stay hovered above her forever making a million unanswered questions flow rapid through her head. Niall’s chest began to heave, any words he wanted to conjure up, stuck in his throat and he tried to swallow them down, tried to fight off the need to kiss her but it was becoming harder by the second. He stared down at her; those gorgeous blue eyes and full pink mouth, her skin that he knew smelt of sweet pea and was sticky with the heat of summer, her hair that was cascading over her one shoulder and just barely covering over the side of her breast, it was all more than he could handle.

Retracting his hand, Niall went to move off of her, certain he had overstepped some kind of boundary at this point and stuttered out some incoherent words just as he felt her hand firmly wrap around the back of his neck. Ryanne locked her eyes on Niall, reaching out to grab him because even though her heart was just about to burst out of her ribcage and the nerves were twisting tight in her tummy, she did not want Niall to move. No, she wanted him to kiss her.

Swallowing hard, the space around them fell dark, the air stifling and stagnant as the humidity seemed to billow around them like a thick cloud of smoke. It was silent, almost too silent as Niall kept himself hovered above her and just stared down at her, almost afraid to move.

Ryanne could feel her quick breaths become erratic and she watched as the dark of Niall’s pupils spread, her fingers gently starting to knead at the clammy skin of his neck. She wanted him to kiss her and Niall wanted to kiss her, he wanted to press his mouth to hers and breath in her warmth and taste the sweetness on her tongue. He wanted that more than anything in world.

Her teeth scraped over her bottom lip and she practically melted out of her skin as she felt Niall’s hand delicately rest at the side of her chest. He wasn’t trying to touch her like that, not in a way that would make her uncomfortable or scared, but he couldn’t help himself. He needed to feel the heat of her skin, the softness against his palm and Ryanne wanted nothing more than to feel more of him on her.

“Kiss me, Niall,” she blurted out, a control in her voice that made the heat fall to the pit of Niall’s stomach.

Niall’s eyes darted over her face and he gulped in a breath as his lips parted. “You, um, you sure?”

Ryanne was sure. Ryanne had never been more sure of anything in her life, but it wasn’t really Niall asking her if he could kiss her, no it was more than that. They both knew what he was really asking, they both knew what was about to happen and they both knew that Niall needed her permission before he was to go any further. And that’s one of the things Ryanne loved so much about him.

Gently nodding her head, a smile tugged at the corner of Niall’s mouth and without another second of hesitation, he dipped his head down and eagerly pushed his mouth to hers. Ryanne whined into the kiss, a kiss that was more intense than anything else they had experienced before in their lives and Niall felt her tremble slightly as his hand slowly curved up the side of her body. He couldn’t kiss her enough, Niall wanting the moment to last forever as Ryanne’s fingers slid up through his hair and she finally gave into him in every way he had been hoping for.

The moments following were pure and sweet. Tender but clumsy, quick but just enough. Fireworks under fingertips and whimpers under breaths, the summer heat enveloped them as they kissed the giggles away and covered each other in the only love they knew how to show. It was everything but so much more than they had imagined.

Niall and Ryanne had sex for the first time that night, being with one another in a way that they had only ever dreamed about. They shared something that they could never share with another human being; they were each others first. First love, first heartbreak, first everything.

They laid snuggled afterwards in the dark, Ryanne playing innocently with the tips of Niall’s fingers as he planted gentle kisses to the round of her shoulder. They giggled and smiled, shared a few red laces before they could start to see the soft rays of the early morning sunrise slowly filtering in through the cracks of the wood.

Scrambling around to get dressed, Niall and Ryanne quickly made their way out of the shed, Ryanne laughing and screeching as they clambered about, knowing she had to leave in just a few hours to go to camp. They ran through the field, the wet morning dew that had formed on the grass slapping at the bottoms of their barefeet as Niall’s hand gripped firmly with Ryanne’s.

Coming to the side of Ryanne’s house, the two parted but not before smashing their mouths together in another heated kiss. Silly chuckles swapped with heavy breaths, Niall gripped around her waist as he rested his forehead to hers and said his goodbye, Ryanne promising to write him everyday that she was gone.

Watching him walk away towards his house, Ryanne waited at the edge of her front steps until that last peak of blonde shaggy hair disappeared around the corner before letting a smile slip over her lips. Tipping her head down, she wiggled her bare toes against the cold concrete, the thoughts of the night replaying over and over in her head.

It was at that moment that Ryanne knew she was much more in love with Niall then she had even realized.

Niall’s eyes ease over to Ryanne’s, his body shifting to stand in front of her bent knees. Feeling his palms come to rest right at the top of her legs, her eyes go big for a moment before shooting them up to his. He already has a smirk on his lips, the thoughts of that night clearly coming back to him in the same way they were her.

Ryanne breathes out a faint giggle as Niall tips his head just a tad to the side. “That was a really great night,” Niall mumbles, his voice raspy as he darts his stare with Ryanne’s. She gives him a smile, biting her teeth down into her lip in a bashful reaction before nodding her head.

“Yes, it was.”

Her skin begins to heat up under the pressure of his big palms, like tiny fireflies buzzing beneath his touch and her tummy starts to swirl. Niall feels her begin to tremble slightly, a clear sign that her nerves are overtaking her and he smiles at the thought that he can still provoke that from her. He knows she’s not nervous because of him; but how he’s making her feel every time he touches her.

Swallowing hard, Ryanne peers heavily at Niall, not wanting her eyes to leave his just as he playfully taps the pads of his fingers over her exposed skin. “C’mere, I wanna show ya somethin’.”

Tucking some light colored hair behind her ear, Niall steps back so Ryanne can hop down off the counter, his eyes lighting up as he scrapes his teeth along his bottom lip and quickly takes her hand in his. Ryanne feels the air choke out of her lungs, her big blue eyes dropping to see her hand engulfed in his. Something she never would’ve thought she’d see again, something she never would’ve thought she’d feel again.

Her feet move under her almost aimlessly as she fights to keep pace with Niall, his fingers brushing over the soft supple skin of her hand. She squeezes her fingers around his, almost by instinct and Niall peers back over his shoulder at her as he leads them both down the hall and back to his bedroom. He hadn’t really planned on showing her what he was about to, this was actually something Niall didn’t show to anyone. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed, not at all, but it was just more of something that he liked to keep to himself.

The thing is, Niall knows Ryanne would appreciate it. She would understand it and love it just as much as he does, maybe even more. He never thought he would get a chance to actually show it to her, but now that she is here, now that she is next to him, her hand within his, it all seemed too perfect. Niall wants Ryanne to know, he wants to see her reaction and the look on her face and he can tell that she is just as curious to find out what this is all about.

Niall instructs her to sit on his bed, to wait there while he fishes out he wants to show her. Ryanne’s a bit confused, she really has no idea what is going on, why she is back here sitting on Niall’s bed or what Niall has up his sleeve at that moment, but she trusts him. More than anything, Ryanne trusts Niall.

She plants herself on the edge of his bed, knocked knees and shoulders slightly hunched forward as he shuffles over to his huge closet. He’s rummaging around the shelves and her face pulls in slightly as she flicks her stare over her shoulder.

“Niall, what….what are ya doin’?” Ryanne asks, her hands slipping over the tops of her thighs as she waits. Niall chuckles briefly from behind the closet door before emerging with a shoebox in his hand and that familiar mischievous smile on his face.

Ryanne can’t help but smirk back at him, something she’s grown used to by this time, and her stare falters down to the floor as she tucks some fallen hair behind her ear. The bed bounces lightly as Niall plops down next to her, his thighs resting snuggly up against hers which causes a momentary lack of air to squeeze out from her chest and Ryanne’s eyes fly up to his. He’s staring at her already, peircing blue eyes trailing down the smooth freckled slope of her nose as his big hands grip firmly to the sides of the box in his lap.

“What, um,” Ryanne pauses for a second, swallowing hard as her eyes shift down to the box, “What’s this?”

Niall lags his stare off of her angelic face, something he almost has to force himself to do, and peers down at his lap. He lets a grin pull at his lips, his fingers sliding over the sides of the box and along the tattered edges. “I’ve kept this for a long time and I’ve always wanted to show ya, but never really thought I’d get a chance to,” Niall’s words stutter slightly off his tongue as he flicks his eyes over to Ryanne’s, who peers over at him just at that second, “But you’re here now, and…I really want ya to see.”

“Niall, if this is somethin’ gross-”

He cuts her off with a booming laugh, his head tipping back as his mouth opens wide. Ryanne can’t help but squeak out a few giggles of her own before his stare comes back to hers. “I promise,” he manages to get out between lingering chuckles, “You’ll like it.”

Ryanne rolls her lips into her mouth as her stare drops back down to the shoebox, watching intently as Niall slowly slides the top off of it. Her blue eyes narrow ever so slightly as her head gently tilts to the side, Niall looking tempestuously at the way her brows are furrowing as she contemplates exactly what it is he’s showing her.

Ryanne isn’t quite sure what she’s looking at, it appears to be a bunch of old folded up notebook papers and she leans closer into Niall to get a better glimpse. Niall keeps his eyes on her, his chest expanding as she leans more into him, the sweetness of her scent easily filling his nose and captivating his senses. His eyes lightly flutter as he breathes her in. She’s still like a dream to him. She always was. Always will be.

Niall nods his head as she peeks back up at him, almost questioning if she can examine the contents further and he smiles at her. “Go on,” he encourages, licking at his lips as she sinks her pretty teeth down into the skin of her bottom lip, “Sift through if ya wanna.”

Ryanne lets out a faint breathy laugh, nerves shooting through to her fingertips as she reaches out and gently begins to move the papers about within the box. She’s still not sure what this is about or what it has to do with her, but then her eye catches something scribed across one of the papers and her heart nearly jumps out of her chest.

“Are these…” she chokes out, her voice soft and tender as she carefully picks up the one folded paper and flips it around, “Are these me letters, Niall? The ones that I…that I wrote ya? From camp?”

Ryanne’s light blue eyes fly up to lock on Niall’s, her lips parting as they dart their stares. “Well, they’re kinda my letters now…” Niall jokes with her, causing an eye roll from Ryanne before she drops her amused gaze back down. Shifting through even more, Ryanne’s shoulder bumps at Niall’s upper arm as she leans even closer towards him, her eyes going wild over the the contents of the box.

Digging towards the bottom, her fingers stall as her breath catches quick in her throat. Glossing her fingertips over, she softly chews at the corner of her mouth and pulls out a single photograph. “Oh my God,” she mutters, barely incoherent, “I…I didn’t even know you had these.” Her eyes fall back into the box, her hand pushing the papers away to reveal even more pictures. They were all of her. And him. Them together. Pictures taken throughout the years as they had grown up. Ryanne had a few pictures of them of her own, but nothing like this. She really had no idea he had kept so many. “There’s so many, Niall, how did you-”

Flicking her stare up to his, he gives her a half smile and quirks up his brow. Ryanne shakes her head in disbelief as she leans over more and digs through, picking up one picture after another. “This is….this is when we went campin’ that one time with, um, your Da,” she remarks, almost to herself more than him.

Niall can feel his heart swelling in his chest as he watches her, her face lighting up with each new photo she grabs out of the box. He had kept them all these years, had them put up safe and sound only ever taking them out to look at them when he was feeling a bit down or when he was extra lonely. There was something about it; seeing them and remembering their times together, remembering the way she looked, the way she had made him feel, that seemed to make every other negative and lonesome feeling just…wash away. Niall loved that Ryanne could do that to him, even when she wasn’t actually here with him, she could always make his troubles and worries seem to…nonexist.

“This one!” Ryanne exclaims, her blue eyes going big as she reaches up to slip her hair behind her ear, “This is when me brother thought it would be a good idea to jump his bike over me…what a wanker.”

Niall had to laugh at that comment, remembering that moment well and Ryanne’s eyes flick over to his as a smile spread across her rose colored lips. “Oh, and the first day of grade 9!” she squeals as she picks up another picture, “I had forgotten all about day. I was so proud of my super cool outfit.” She lets out a chuckle, flipping the photo around so Niall could see and have his own little laugh at her expense.

He nods his head at her, his mouth turning down. “Was a great outfit, Ry,” Niall sarcastically comments, smiling big when she pinches her eyes shut in an embarrassed giggle and covers her face with the picture.

“I definitely had some killer style.”

“That ya did…”

“I just..” Ryanne pipes up with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulder, focus still on rummaging through the pictures, “I had no clue that half of these pictures even existed.”

Niall tips his head to the side, throwing his arms back behind him to lean on his big palms. He can’t help but stare at her, watching as all the memories flood her brain like a raging river through a broken dam, just as they did for him every time he looked through the photos and letters himself.

“I look through these sometimes,” he speaks up, her hands pausing in the box as she turns her face slightly to peer over at him, “Ya know, when things get crazy and…I don’t know,” he stops to suck in a breath, licking at his lips, “Just seein’ ya calms me down….keeps me grounded, I guess.”

Ryanne lets a smile tug at her lips, her eyes darting fast with Niall’s before she flicks her stare back down into the box, grabbing at a flipped over picture and turning it over. A small gasp slips past her lips and Niall quickly sees her face fall before he shoots his eyes down to see what’s caused such a change in reaction from her.

He had meant to take that one out, really, he had never meant for her to see it, but in his excitement to show her the box, he had plumb forgot. “I’m…I’m sorry, Ry, I forgot that was in there–” Niall lets out a huff and frustratingly runs his hand through the front of his hair before he tries to grab the picture from her fingers. She sits back up, yanking the picture away from his grasp as she shakes her head.

“No,” she tells him, stopping him dead in his tracks as he lets his wide eyes trace over her delicate features. Niall can see the thoughts running wild in her head, her eyes becoming glassy as they drag over the front of the picture.

Ryanne pulls in a shaky breath as she stares down at it, and it hurts when she feels a wicked knot start to form in the pit of her stomach. She thought she had blocked out everything about that night, but right at this moment, everything is coming crashing back to her and she has no way to stop it.

Her eyes lag in heavy blinks as Niall stays silent, just watching with big eyes as she inspects every inch of the photograph.

It’s a picture of Niall and Ryanne at the fall formal, just a mere three months after their incredible summer night together. Swallowing hard, Ryanne can feel her fingers start to tremble as she slowly looks back up at Niall.

“This was the only good thing from that night, Ni,” Ryanne tells him, her words broken on her tongue, “The only thing I wanna remember.”

Ryanne knew Niall was probably right, being asked out to the fall formal by an upperclassmen maybe wasn’t such a great idea, but her and Niall weren’t even a couple and the older boy, Drew, was really cute. Her excitement was probably a bit too forthcoming, running to tell Niall as soon as they stepped off the bus that day as the prospect of going to a dance with one of the most popular older boys at their school, much more than Ryanne had ever dreamed would happen to her.

“Ya know Drew only wants one thing from ya, Ry,” Niall told her, snorting out a laugh when she hit him across the arm.

“Why’ya gotta say that, Ni? Ya don’t know-”

“ ‘m just sayin’! I know how lads like him work, alright,” he interjected, his stare falling to watch the toes of his trainers hit against the half brick wall in front of Ryanne’s house. “Besides…have ya seen ya lately?”

Ryanne let out a disgruntled huff, her arms crossing over her chest. “What’s that s’pposed to mean?”

Niall rolled his eyes, tipping his head downward as he hastily ran his hands through his blonde shaggy hair. “I mean…you’re like…shite, Ry, you’re hot okay?” he mumbled, flicking his eyes back up to her, “Like really…really fuckin’ fit.”

His words hit Ryanne like a wave of heat, engulfing her and causing tingles to raid over every part of her skin. Niall had never been so…direct with how he thought of Ryanne’s looks or even that he thought of her in that way, and she really wasn’t sure how she should let herself feel about it. Biting at her lip as her eyes dropped to the ground, she slipped her arms down to her side as Niall stepped closer to her, his eyes fixated on her.

“I just…I’m not so sure it’s a good idea, is all I’m sayin’. I don’t want ya to get hurt.”

Flicking her hair out of her face, she shot her eyes back up to Niall’s, brows furrowed deep. “Why would ya think I’m gonna get hurt?” she snapped back at him, “Think I can’t take care of meself?”

Niall shook his head, pressing his lips together. “No…no that’s not what I meant, Ry-”

“Niall, I am fully fuckin’ capable of goin’ out on a date with a guy, okay?” Ryanne spit out as she darted her blue eyes with his. She wasn’t quite sure what Niall’s objective here was, but she’s certain jealousy had a big part in it, and to her, that was not a fair call. “You are not me boyfriend, you can’t fuckin’ choose who I go out with and who I date.”

Niall rolled his lips into his mouth, shaking his head as he timidly stares down at his feet. “That’s not what I’m tryin’-”

Ryanne spoke up again, cutting Niall off. “You can’t control every aspect of me life, Niall, okay? I’m not…I’m not yours to do that…”

Swallowing hard, Niall slowly brought his half lidded eyes back up to hers. She was right, as much as he wanted to say that wasn’t what he’s trying to do, she was right. He couldn’t control her. And she’s wasn’t his. Niall sucked in a breath, a sharp one that seemed to sting his lungs and gingerly nodded his head. It wasn’t his choice to make. Ryanne was a smart girl, and Niall had to trust that.

“You’re right,” Niall muttered, his tongue running out over the dryness of his lips, “It’s your choice. Have fun.”

And with that, Niall quietly turned on his heels to make his way towards his house. Ryanne stood there at her front walk, big doe eyes watching as he slowly crept around the corner and out of her sight. Gnawing at her lip, one would think she felt a twinge of empowerment standing up to Niall like that, showing that she’s her own woman, but for some reason, Ryanne couldn’t push away that nagging feeling that was settling uncomfortably in the pit of her stomach.

To be honest, Niall would’ve asked her to the dance himself, he really would’ve, but trying to come up with the courage to ask the prettiest girl in school to the fanciest formal of the year, was something Niall wasn’t quite sure he had in him. Which is dumb considering they were best friends, that they had shared so many things together and loved each other in a way that no one else could, but Ryanne had a point.

They weren’t together, not in that way at least, and she wasn’t his girlfriend. Ryanne was free to go out with anyone she chose. And so was Niall.

Ryanne could not deny the amount of bitterness she felt when she found out that Niall had asked Chloe to the dance the next day, but she hid it well. Honestly, Niall hadn’t done it out of spite, Chloe just happened to be the first girl he saw get on the bus the next morning, but for Ryanne that didn’t mean it stung any less. Especially when she saw Chloe sit down next to him in their seat. She rolled her eyes at them as she slumped back in her seat on the bus, the ride a silent one, filled with a vicious sting of jealousy that Ryanne didn’t like. If Niall had just asked her to the formal first…

Five days had passed and Ryanne wasn’t going to lie and say she wasn’t incredibly excited about going to the formal with Drew, the jealousy that had sparked up in her that day on the bus, easily waning the more time she spent with him. He was super sweet and really cute, seemed gentlemanly enough and the thought of what possibilities this date might have for her and Drew in the future was getting easier to see by the second.

The night of the formal came without a hitch, Ryanne dressed in a light blue gown; fitted silk bodice and a puffy tulle overlay that hovered right around her ankles and a pair of low cream colored heels. Her long blonde hair was in its trademark soft waves down her back, the front half done up merely by a small pearl clip that her mother had let her borrow. She looked like a princess, as her father said and it was nothing more than smiles all around as her mother snapped pictures of her and Drew on the front porch. Ryanne had a purple flower corsage on her wrist and a soft smile on her face, but there was this tiny ache of longing in her heart that even the nicest of comments from Drew couldn’t wipe away.

Drew drove them to the formal, it being held in the gymnasium of their school and Ryanne could tell that a night of laughing and dancing was just what she needed. They arrived fashionably late and walked right in under the strings of twinkle lights and glittery paper garland, Ryanne’s big blue eyes going wide with excitement. She had yet to go to one of these, in fact, dances really weren’t her style usually, but this was different. This was a new chapter, a new page turner in her book and Ryanne was very eager to see what it was like to go out on a real date with a boy.

Standing in line to get their pictures taken, Ryanne could feel the light press of Drew’s hand at the small of her back, the sensation making her skin tingle under the soft silk material. She glanced up at him, catching his eyes as they flicked over her face and she bowed her head in a tiny bashful giggle.

Drew chuckled at her reaction, knowing he had that impact on her before Ryanne heard the sound of someone behind them clearing their throat. Drew and Ryanne both whipped their heads around to look, instantly caught with the sight of Niall, standing in line right behind them, waiting for pictures with Chloe. Ryanne slowly spun around to face him, her blue eyes meeting Niall’s, immediately captivated by the way they lit up so organically in the sparkling light of the twirling disco ball and she gave him a smile.

“Hey, Ry,” Niall said, the distinct rasp in his changing voice always making her heart seem to skip a beat. Niall’s eyes drifted down the length of Ryanne, his stomach twisting in a knot as the warmth rippled up his spine. She looked…incredible. “You look really pretty.”

Ryanne drew in a tiny breath at his comment, knowing Niall never said things to her he didn’t mean, and it made her chest pinch tight beneath the silk bodice of her dress. “Thanks, Niall,” she said back to him, biting timidly at her peach colored bottom lip. Niall didn’t look half bad himself, if Ryanne was going to be honest, spiffed up in a fancy tie and button up, he even splurged with a black suit jacket. The thought made Ryanne smile as she tipped her head to the side, “You look really smart,” she said, her words causing Niall to blush a bit at the round of his cheeks and nervously run his hand up through his unstyled hair.

Niall huffed out a chuckle as he dropped his hand to his leg and rolled his lips into his mouth. “Thanks-”

“Hey how ‘bout a picture for the yearbook!” A voice suddenly broke their attention, all eyes flying over to Conor McHealy, the yearbook editor. He had a camera glued to his hand and a cheesy smile plastered on his face, typical of Conor. Everyone turned towards him, Niall slipping to stand next to Ryanne, with grins on their faces as Conor snapped a few quick pics.

Feeling Niall lean into her, Ryanne’s breath caught in her throat as she felt the tender press of Niall’s cheek at her own. “Sorry, for not trustin’ you,” he whispered, Ryanne’s eyes fluttering from the slight tickle of his breath on her skin, “I just worry ‘bout ya, that’s all.”

Gulping in a breath, Niall slowly retracted before pushing his lips to her ear once more. “It’s only ‘cause I love ya.”

His words, being the first time Niall had ever uttered them to her, caused Ryanne to slowly look down at the floor, her head whirling dizzy and her heart beating fast. She didn’t know what to say, her tongue tied as she felt the brush of Niall’s hand across her hip as he pulled away and reached up to nervously mess with his hair once more.

Stepping back to their respective spots, the line had begun to move as Ryanne looked over at Niall and he gently cleared his throat. “You guys, um…have fun tonight, yeah?”

Darting her eyes with his, she could tell he was being sincere, but there was something about his tone that rang strange in her. Almost like he was still very much worried. Ryanne faintly nodded her head at him, Niall giving her a nod back as he knew there wasn’t much else to say. He watched quietly as Ryanne turned back around to focus on her date, swallowing down the sick feelings that he had rising from his stomach. Niall couldn’t quite put his finger on why, but there was something inside him that was shouting at him to keep an eye on her that night.

Ryanne tried to block out the weird and intense feelings she was having after that short conversation with Niall, his words still sitting heavy with her, and focus on Drew, finding it easier as the night went on. He was very charming, almost too charming to an outsider, but Ryanne was soaking it up like a sponge. She had never had someone be so attentive, well, someone other than Niall, towards her and it was all so new and exhilarating.

Drew had kept his hands to himself for the most part, not even attempting to kiss or touch her in any inappropriate ways and it wasn’t until the dance was almost over that he finally asked if she was ready to go home. It had been a nice evening with Drew and she eagerly obliged hoping that once he got her home, maybe he would want to kiss her good night. What’s a date without a kiss, right?

They pulled up to her house, the full moon glowing in the grey sky like a spotlight, and Drew parked his truck and hopped out. Ryanne sat patiently in the passenger seat, her hands sweating and her heart racing as she waited for Drew to walk around and open the door for her. She was met by a polite smile and a hand as he helped her down from the seat, making sure she didn’t rip the tulle on her dress.

Hand in hand, they slowly stepped onto the sidewalk, Ryanne shooting her bright blue eyes over to her front door as they paused and stood just at the end of her front steps. She wasn’t really sure what to expect now, this being her first real date and all, and her full lips pursed into a shy grin as she looked back up a Drew, meeting his stare as he stood in front of her. A slight breeze picked up, Ryanne’s blonde locks gently fanning across the front of her silk bodice and it wasn’t noticeable when the goosebumps prickled over her exposed skin.

She was nervous, that was probably an understatement, and she was positive Drew could tell. Her fingers jittered in her tightly wound palms that crossed in front of her and her teeth nibbled lightly at the skin of her lip. Ryanne had never kissed another boy before, Niall being her one and only, and the thought of it happening with someone other than him, it sent a weird feeling crawling through her tummy.

Before she could contest, Drew’s hand was slammed at the back of her head and his mouth was pressed to hers. Ryanne froze, not really in a bad way, but in a way that she really had no idea what to do next. She could feel his mouth trying to move against hers and her reaction to kiss him back was delayed, her eyes pinching shut as she slowly let herself fall into the motions with him.

It was different than she had expected, Ryanne’s mind immediately thinking how much better of a kisser Niall was which made her a bit angry with herself and caused her to push her mouth just a bit harder to Drew’s. Her clammy hands unclasped themselves, clinging onto the lapels of his suit jacket and before she could prove to Drew that she was exactly what he was looking for, his lips pulled away from hers with a smack.

Ryanne’s eyes flew open, clouded with lustful feelings and also a tinge of regret, and locked on his. A smirk crept over Drew’s lips as he licked across them, his stare flinging to the side to peer over at Ryanne’s house.

“You, uh, you maybe got somewhere…private we can go?” he asked her, his fingers reaching up to yank at the tight collar around his neck.

The answer to his question stuck thick in the back of Ryanne’s throat, her lungs tightening up around the words as they swirled heavy through her head. A part of her wanted to stop, but a bigger part of her wanted Drew to like her, wanted him to see she wasn’t just this naive little 15 year old girl. So as her eyes danced around, her fingers gripping into the material of his jacket and the wind blowing her wavy hair across the front of her face, Ryanne could only think of one place that would be secluded enough for them. Swallowing back the frightening feeling that was ruffling around up into her chest, she shakily cleared her throat and tipped her head back to look at him. “Yeah, I, uh, I know a place.”

Niall had left the dance a little while after Ryanne, making sure to walk Chloe home before making his way back to his house. He had to round the bend past Ryanne’s to get to his own and Niall’s shoulders slumped forward, his hands stuffing down into his pockets as he began to come around the corner. He hadn’t taken his mind off of Ryanne the entire night, his stare as well, and there was just something in him that felt like this was all his fault.

If only he had asked her first.

He knew she had left well before him and Niall came to the conclusion that he was going to stop by her house on his way home, just to make sure that she was okay and had had a good time. He also just needed to see her face one last time before he went to bed that night.

Stepping up onto the curb right in front of Ryanne’s house, Niall’s eyes went huge as his feet tumbled to a stop. Drew’s truck. It was parked right out front, and every restraint Niall had in him that night vanished in a second. His heart was pounding in his chest, the heat building up to his already rosy colored cheeks and Niall twisted his face to stare over at her front door, immediately jumping up the steps to knock on it. Niall could feel the sweat beading up along his hairline, wiping it away with the pads of his fingers as Ryanne’s father slowly opened the door.

Niall asked him where she was and Ryanne’s father seemed a little puzzled, telling Niall that he hadn’t seen her, she hadn’t come home yet. Niall’s stare narrowed a bit as he took in her father’s words, it not exactly adding up to him at that point.

That wasn’t like her, that wasn’t Ryanne. She would never not come home, not without telling someone. Something wasn’t right. Niall knew something wasn’t right. It was then that Niall’s heart literally ceased to a standstill in his heaving chest, his stomach twisting into the most wicked knot that seemed bigger than the whole of him as his fingers stopped shaking in his pocket. Slowly he flicked his eyes over to the side of her house.

His lips parted as a sudden feeling of unbearable sick washed over him, his wide eyes fixating on the tree line that he could see just past the field.

The shed.

Quickly thanking her father, Niall’s words come out jumbled and filled with curses as he pushed himself off the front porch and began to run down through the field towards the tree line. It was dark now, almost too dark for anyone else to know where they were going, but Niall knew this area by heart. He knew exactly which tree branch to duck under and which bush to trample past. He knew exactly where Ryanne was.

Niall could feel his heart pounding, his lungs gasping for air as he flew through the thick bush and swerved through the trees. He felt like he was going to vomit at any second, his ears just barely catching the sound of muffled crying as he got closer and closer. No, he thought as his dress shoes cracked loudly against the dry leaves on the ground, God no, that can’t be her.

The sweat poured down his forehead, and he choked back the sick as he barely heard the growling sound of a rough voice. The demands, demanding to ‘stop moving’ and ‘shut up’ repeatedly being shouted between cut off cries and whimpering pleads and Niall’s slim legs pushed harder as he urged himself to get there faster.

His blood pumped with the wicked thump of his heart and he could hear her screaming, her heartbreaking words of ‘No! Please…..no, stop’ broken and muddled under the obvious press of a hand just as Niall reached the door of the shed. His mind was filled with fury, rage seeping through his bloodstream like a heated kettle ready to burst and he practically runs into the wooden door, his hand slamming to the frame just as he threw it open.

He froze for a split second, the sight of Drew laying on top of Ryanne, her body sprawled out and fighting as her cries filled the small space, almost like a freakish nightmare to him. Niall didn’t take the time to think, he reacted, barreling into the small space and grabbing ahold of the back of Drew’s shirt.

He yanked him off of Ryanne, Niall’s sudden strength seemed superhuman as he dragged a fighting Drew out of the shed. Throwing him to the ground, Niall laid into him, sweat mixed with blood as he hovered over top of Drew’s body and threw punch after punch right into his face. Niall didn’t quite register what he was doing; he saw the blood spurting, he heard the bones cracking, some maybe even his own, but he didn’t stop.

It wasn’t until he heard Ryanne’s sweet voice call out his name that he did. The fire raging through Niall settled at the mere sound of her voice and he gasped for breath, staring down at a bloodied and battered Drew who had given up his fight a long time ago.

Drew’s hands were covering his beaten face as he shakily pleaded and Niall slowly reached up with his bloody swollen hand to grab a fistful of his dark hair. Leaning down towards him, Niall was determined to make sure Drew understood him clearly and he struggled keeping his voice to a low whisper. “Don’t ya ever lay a fuckin’ hand on her again, or next time I’ll bloody fuckin’ kill you.”

Niall stumbled to stand up, Drew rolling over to his side in moaning pain as Niall peered down at him. He was rattled from his thoughts as he heard his name being called out again. Niall’s face dropped at the sound, shaken and weak, and he shot his eyes over to the inside of the shed, met with the bloodshot stare of Ryanne’s.

She had sat herself up, her dress torn at her chest and the bottom part ripped and pushed up around her body. Her hair was matted and tangled, her makeup smeared from the crying and her delicate face cut up and bruised.

Niall swallowed hard as he stared at her, his eyes welling up with tears. He rushed towards her, and Ryanne held out her arms, scratched up and needing to be felt by him. She had never been more scared in her entire life and she had never been more happy to see Niall. He bent down, not wasting another second of needing to protect her, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, so tight as if she even tried to let go, she would once again be stuck in this horrific nightmare.

Crying into his shoulder, Ryanne’s body began to relax, the warmth from Niall easing her as he slowly pushed his one arm under her knees to pick her up. “It’ll be okay,” Niall kept whispering to her, his face tucked down against her own as he lifted her up.

Ryanne let out small sobs, her arms curled around him as he began to shuffle them both out of the shed. She knew everything would be okay, she knew Niall would make everything okay and Niall felt her shaking against him. He squeezed her more firmly into him as the soft mutters of Ryanne flowed repeatedly past her bare cracked lips. “I’m sorry…thank you…”

It was a slow walk home, but Niall didn’t falter once. He carried her, held her, kissed her forehead as he silently let her cry. Ryanne was thankful, exasperatedly so and buried her face further into him as she quietly let the sound of his heartbeat lull her into an almost disassociated state of calm.

Ryanne couldn’t help herself, her body weakened but her feelings not. She forced her eyes open, stunned by the brightness of the full moon before she caught the glint of his profile. He was beautiful and breathtaking and Ryanne dragged her hand over to let her finger gingerly trace across the freckles at the side of his throat. Niall shot his eyes down to her, flicking his watery stare across her battered face before giving her a tiny reassuring smile.

Ryanne let her eyes fall closed, wrapping her weakened arms tighter around him as she buried her face down into the warm and comforting curve of his neck. She had never before been more sure of anything else in her life and in that moment, to her, there was only one thing she could say.

“I love you, Ni.”

“I want to keep this,” Ryanne speaks up, still staring down at the picture, “Can I?” Her crystal blue eyes flick up to his and Niall faintly nods his head at her, his stare shifting over her features, from her forehead down to the rounded point of her chin.

The quiet settles achingly deep between them and it’s like they can’t seem to take their eyes off of one another. It was an impact that Niall and Ryanne had grown accustomed to over the years, the world suddenly turning into a blurry vortex around them with nothing else seeming to be affected by the intense pull the two of them felt.

Niall’s knee bounces slightly against hers as he slowly moves the shoebox from his lap and sets it down on the bed beside him. He isn’t sure what Ryanne is thinking or feeling at this moment, but the look in her eyes, one that he’s seen more than once in his life, makes everything so clear to him.

“I’m glad ya came to see me,” Niall says to her, watching as Ryanne breaks eye contact and smiles down at her lap, shyly reaching up to tuck some fallen hair behind her ear. She’s clutching tight to the picture, maybe too tight for how delicate it is and she can feel a warmth start to fill her chest and radiate down to her toes. She always seemed to feel that way around Niall.

Ryanne clears her throat a bit, letting just the tip of her tongue slip out to wet her lips. “Me too,” she whispers back, the words soft and gentle in her mouth, “About what I said earlier-”

“It’s okay.”

She shakes her head, flicking her blue eyes over to his. “No, I…I shouldn’t have done that, showed up like that, not after…all these years.”

Niall narrows his eyes at her, turning his body slightly as he captures her stare. “Ry, ya know I’ve always loved ya, always. To be fair, nothin’ will ever compare to the love I have for ya, ya know that.”

Ryanne feels her chest tighten at his words. She didn’t know that, which is why she is here to begin with and her eyes flutter a bit as she rounds her back in a depressed breath. Hearing Niall say that, say the thing that she spent years wondering about, it almost makes Ryanne want to cry. She doesn’t though, but instead she smiles at him and bites tentatively at her lip.

“Okay,” she says, turning her face to sit close to his as their eyes lock yet again, “then I mean what I said. I still love you.” These words fall easily from Ryanne’s lips this time, so easily that Niall can see himself literally tasting them as they ring sweet in his ears. He almost can’t breathe looking at her, and if Ryanne could only feel how fast his heart was beating…

“Like not the kinda love we had when we were kids, Niall,” Ryanne continues, unaware that Niall’s stare is zeroed in on the way her lips are moving and the way her hair is slowly slipping over her temple, and she shakes her head briefly as her eyes fly up to the ceiling, “Real love. The kinda love that makes me wanna be with you for the rest of me life. The kinda love that makes me not be able to stop thinkin’ of you. The kinda love-”

And Ryanne’s words get cut off short. Not because she doesn’t want to finish, not because it’s too hard for her to talk about it, but because she can’t. Niall’s mouth is pressed to hers. It was an instinct from him. Niall hearing the word ‘love’ fall so freely from her lips, her beautiful rose colored lips, and connect to him like a balloon on a string, filling him up, up and up until he literally couldn’t contain himself any longer.

Niall needs to kiss her. And Ryanne wants nothing more. He slides his hand to cup around the back of her neck, his fingers curling into her soft blonde hair as his mouth moves and tastes and pulls her in like a reckless tidal wave. Ryanne has dreamt of this moment, of feeling Niall’s lips on her again, but nothing could have prepared her for when it actually happened.

Sparks flew from the heat of his mouth all the way to the tips of her fingers and toes; goosebumps trailing up her spine as Niall slowly slips his tongue over her lips, pleading for consent. Ryanne hums out slightly, parting her lips as her head tilts just so, the eagerness of Niall’s mouth against her own making those familiar fireflies dance under her skin.

He tastes just like she remembers, he smells just like she remembers, he feels exactly like she remembers. Except now Niall is much older. He is a bit rougher, more determined. His stubble scratches lightly at Ryanne’s skin, the feeling making her giggle softly into his open mouth and Niall loves feeling her hot breath fill his mouth. Niall can’t remember the last time he’s kissed someone like this, and Ryanne knows she’s never been kissed like this.

Niall pulls away slowly, his eyes still pressed closed as if he’s savoring the moment as best he can and Ryanne reaches up just as her eyes open, carefully letting the tips of her fingers glide over her kiss-bitten lips. She can still feel him on her, still taste him and it’s something she’s not sure she ever wants to forget again.

Niall lets out a hearty chuckle; the sound rumbling through Ryanne like a deep growl of a bear and she almost freezes in place as his hand drags down her arm and his eyes once again slide over to fixate at hers. Her heart stills in her chest as he licks at his pink lips, and Ryanne can’t help but mindlessly count the tiny freckles that dot along his nose. “I still love you, too,” Niall breathes out to her, her lungs swelling with air as she feels Niall’s hand come up to card through the side of her hair. Niall smiles at her reaction; her body tensing under his touch and he knows it’s not because she’s nervous but because this time she’s not nervous and that makes him smile even more, “I never stopped lovin’ you, Ryanne, not since we were twelve years old.”

Ryanne swallows hard, her teeth gnawing into the corner of her lip before she knits her brows. Niall feels the weight of her head fall towards his hand as she tilts it ever so slightly to the side and he once again, can’t help but get lost in the blue of her eyes as she pulls in a shaky breath. “What do we do now then?” she asks.

It had been her idea, all her idea if you were to ask Niall. And well, Ryanne would like take credit, but they both secretly knew he was destined for it all along.

The day Niall left Mullingar to pursue his dream was the saddest day of Ryanne’s life, no doubt about it. She still remembers how it felt to watch him go, Niall still remembers how it felt to leave her. They had begun dating again after the night of the formal, becoming practically inseparable once again over almost the entire next year. They were in love, completely and unconditionally in love, and didn’t want to be apart anymore than they had to but they both knew that Niall deserved to have a chance to live his dream. And if Ryanne was sure of anything, she was sure that she didn’t want to be the person that stood in his way.

She knew he was special, too special to stay in Mullingar and her heart broke with the realization that for Niall to grow, for him to become what he had always dreamed he wanted to be, she would need to let him go.

Standing outside Niall’s house, Ryanne’s hands were clasped tight to the sides of his face, their foreheads resting together as they stood still; simple and content just easily breathing each other in. The moment had come, almost sneaking up on them it seemed and Ryanne wasn’t sure she could go through with it. She tugged on his cheeks, pushing her lips to his in a hasty moment of weakness as Niall’s father sat waiting in the car, ready to take him to the airport.

It pained Niall to say goodbye to Ryanne, he didn’t want to leave her anymore than she didn’t really want him to go, but he curled his fists into the back of her top, holding her so close against him that he could feel her erratic heartbeat and literally steal the breath from her lungs. So Ryanne kissed him; kissed him harder and longer than she ever had before, squeezing her eyes closed so tight that it practically hurt as that was all she could do to keep herself from crying.

Slipping her mouth from his, she slowly peeled open her blue eyes, growing cloudy with the building tears as her fingers gently traced over the shells of Niall’s ears. She couldn’t look at him, her stare faltering away from his face but still Niall watched her, his blue eyes round with heartache as she licked across her lips and fought off her trembling chin. Gently shushing her, Niall carefully reached up to brush away a loose strand of her blonde hair, his hand tenderly cupping around her cheek.

Ryanne finally let her listless wandering eyes shift back to Niall’s, his touch calming her, remarkably so, just as it always had. “Thank you,” she whispered to him, her voice soft but slicing through the quiet between them like it was the only sound Niall was supposed to hear, “Thank you for always bein’ there for me, Ni and..” Ryanne paused for a minute to gather herself, tipping her face down. Niall took the chance and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, the small action making her just barely let out a giggle. Niall would remember that single sound for the rest of his life.

Ryanne shot her stare back up to his, a smile tugging at the corner of her pouty mouth. “Thank you for always bein’ me best friend.”

Niall smiled big at her words as a playful chuckle slipped past his lips. Pushing another kiss to her mouth, Niall held his breath in his expanded chest, stealing her shallow whimpers and her scent and capturing it all for himself. He didn’t want to share her, he wasn’t going to share her and in that moment, for just that tiny fraction of time, she was still all his. “I love you,” Niall told her as he broke the kiss and swept his thumb over her reddened cheek. “I’m gonna think about ya every single day while I’m gone.”

Ryanne tried to keep it in, she really did, her lungs practically bursting with her encapsulated cries but as she stared at Niall, seeing his wishful eyes dart with hers, his kind face and sweet smile, there was nothing she could do fight it anymore. They just fell. Unforgiving and without control, they fell. ‘Don’t cry’ she heard Niall say, but his voice was muffled by her sobs and she slipped her fingers through his thick shaggy hair and wrapped them around his neck.

He held her, like he had held her so many times before, but this time for Niall, it meant so much more. He held her so she would remember and whispered into the side of her hair not to cry. He could never stand to see her cry. “This is just a new chapter for us, Ry, please don’t cry, yeah?”

Another one burst past Ryanne’s lips, and she felt as Niall’s hands quickly ran up the slope of her back and gently grabbed around the sides of her face. Pulling her attention to his, Ryanne locked her red rimmed eyes to his, her bottom lip shaking as she struggled to contain herself for even this one single moment. “I’ll come back for ya, okay? Babe, don’t cry. Please, don’t be upset. I love you.”

Gasping in a shattered breath, Ryanne calmed herself with a slow nod of her head. Niall was right. It was just a new chapter. He would be back for her. This wasn’t forever, this wasn’t their forever. It was just for a little while. Forcing a smile on her lips, Ryanne pushed to her tip toes and softly pressed her mouth to Niall’s one last time, her eyes fluttering slightly as the swell of the chilly breeze quickly surrounded them.

“I gotta go,” Niall mumbled, breaking their kiss and bringing her into a tight but comfortable hug.

Letting out a shallow breath, Ryanne squeezed her arms around him before feeling his warmth slowly slide away from her. “I love you,” she told him, Niall’s bright blue eyes squinting up as he tossed her a big smile and started to step towards the car.

Ryanne waved goodbye, her arms folded over her chest as if she was trying to hold in whatever other cries that wanted to come tumbling out of her, and it took everything she had in her not to chase after Niall as the car began to pull away.

Sitting back in his seat, he watched as the vision of Ryanne in the mirror slowly became smaller and disappeared completely, and he swiped the palm of his hand across his swollen eyes, the tears he had tried to contain for her, no longer willing to stay inside. Niall was not really sure of what was going to happen once he got to London, everything was going to be so new and different for him, but there was one thing he is so very much sure of.

He would never love another girl the way that he loved Ryanne.

The question resonates in Niall’s ears, echoing almost as if the repetition will make it easier for him to find an answer. Ryanne stares at him, watching his brows crinkle and his half lidded eyes search across her face like he’s looking for even the slightest imperfection, but knowing he won’t ever find one. “I..don’t know,” he finally says, shaking his head.

Ryanne feels her heart skip in her chest as Niall brings up a hand and softly rubs across her jaw with the back of his knuckles, his stare following the trail before catching Ryanne’s gaze once more. “All I know is…I left ya once and there is no way in hell I’m doin’ it again.”  

Giggles crackle unexpectedly out of Ryanne’s throat, carrying through the thin air and bouncing off the walls as Niall playfully tackles her to the bed. Tiny kisses and tender touches get shared between them, Niall relishing in seeing Ryanne laugh and smile for the first time in years underneath him, something he wasn’t sure he would ever experience again.

Sighing out, Ryanne half-heartedly swats at Niall as he goes in to nuzzle her neck, her eyes pinching shut in a laugh and her knees buckling up to her chest. “N-Niall!” she manages to mutter, breaking Niall’s concentration as he peeks his face up from the gentle curve of her throat.

“Yeah?”

Biting at her lip, Ryanne doesn’t say anything, she really doesn’t have to as she holds onto Niall’s shoulders and lets his stare bore straight into hers. Niall pauses for a moment, gathering his breath as he peers down at her. Long wavy blonde hair spread out on the white duvet that rested beneath her head, that sweet smell of her wafting up from the warmth of her neck that not just seconds ago Niall had his mouth attached to. The way her eyelashes bat so delicately across her rosy colored cheeks every time she blinked. The soft and curious smile that was slowly sweeping across her soft lips…

Ryanne doesn’t have to say anything, but Niall knows.

Smirking back down at her, he grumbles out a chuckle as his head rolls down and he slowly moves his body to lay flat on his back next to her. She curls up against his side, her body melding into his as his strong arm wraps protectively around her shoulder. Ryanne nestles her face into the side of his chest, listening intently to the rhythmic sound of Niall’s breathing and the steady beat of his heart.

They both lay quiet in each other’s arms, matching breaths and captivating warmth and watch as the almost complete setting sun streams in through the half open blinds of the windows, the orange and pink rays dancing across the vivid white walls of Niall’s bedroom.

It definitely isn’t their rundown wooden shed, no, it is something even better.

[nialledfromfics]

a niall oneshot

word count: 8761

warnings: sexual content

Midnight.

You found yourself waiting by your phone at midnight more often than not these days. Waiting for his text. Waiting for him to tell you the coast was clear and it was safe. Safe to finally be together, to be alone. That’s how it had to be. For now.

  hey, you up ?

You jump as your text tone goes off. It’s him. Your heart skips a beat, possibly two as you pick up your phone.

                                       yeah, of course

  come on over then. i miss ya

  the gate will be open. gotta hurry tho      

                                       oh really why’s that?

  cuz i need ya ;)

This is how it went most nights of the week, especially lately. But it was worth it. So worth it. You couldn't quite put into words how you felt about him, but you knew you had never felt this way about anyone else before. He made you feel giddy and happy, like a giggly love-sick teenager. He made you feel safe and comfortable, the calmness that surrounded you when he was around, was almost catatonic. Wanted and needed, like there was no one in the world but you. The crazy butterflies in your tummy were never ending when you were around him, almost to the point that it made your stomach ache. Almost.     

Grabbing your keys off the table, you rushed out of the door as fast as you could and hopped into your car. The drive over was quick, but it seemed like hours. Your heart racing, your tummy in knots. He made you feel nervous, but in such a good way. You thought about the last time you had seen him, it had been a week. Waiting for him to come back from doing his album promo was absolute torture for you. He was literally the only thing on your mind. Ever.

Pulling into his drive and through the gate, you parked your car right behind his black Range. Careful not to draw too much attention, you locked the door by hand and quietly shut it. You walked swiftly towards his front door, straightening your clothes and brushing the hair from your face as you rang the buzzer. Breathing in deep, you waited, your heart almost beating out of your chest. The door unlocked and swung open and he gently grabbed your elbow, pulling you inside as he slammed the door shut behind you.

Using his own body, he pushed you up against the wall, his eager mouth slamming roughly to yours. His hands were all over you; grabbing, touching, running from your waist and over your breasts to cup at your cheeks. He tilted his head, pushing his tongue past your lips into your waiting mouth. Dropping your things to the ground, you grabbed at the sides of his t-shirt, curling your fingers into the fabric and held him tightly into you.

The kiss was needy and hot, desperate, his lips practically begging you for more. As it was almost every time you saw him. His fingers tangled into stray strands of your hair as you felt him rut up against you, his bulge growing harder at each passing second, each passing sweep of your tongue in his mouth. Sinking his teeth into your bottom lip and pulling away, he smiled against your lips as he rested his forehead to yours.

“Fuck, I’ve missed that,” he said, his breath hot on your mouth, “I’ve missed you.”

“Mmm, me too,” you whispered to him as you loosened your fingers from his t-shirt and ran a hand down to the front waistband of his sweatpants, tucking a couple fingers in. He threw his palms flat up to the wall on each side of your head as you jerked him towards you but his pants, letting him rub up against you.

He dropped his mouth to your neck. “It’s been too long, baby.”

“It’s only been a week, Horan…” you mumbled, tipping your head back against the wall and closing your eyes, giving into the feeling of his teeth scraping along your sticky skin.

“Way too long.”

You felt yourself growing wet with every lap of his tongue against your flesh, every rock of his hips and you sucked in nervous breath past your lips. This boy had total control over you. Everything he did, everything he said, every single way he touched you, made you completely fall apart. And he knew it. He knew the power he had over you.

“God, you’re fucking gorgeous, you know that?” he said, raising his head to look at you. You smiled at him, tilting your head to the side.

“And you’re full of shit,” you teased, biting into your bottom lip.

He dropped his head, letting out a small laugh.“You’re fucking crazy.”

“Crazy about you.”

Smiling at him, he lifted his head to bring his gaze to yours as he quirked up his eyebrow and gave you a half smirk. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah”

“Prove it.”

Without hesitation, you sunk to your knees in front of him. With him still flat palmed to the wall, you curled your fingers into the waistband of his sweats and yanked them down just past his bulge, just enough to let his hardness spring free. He hissed in a breath as he dropped his head down to watch you. Grasping him in your hand, you brought the tip of him straight to your lips and spit onto the head, using your hand to spread the slickness down his shaft before sliding him past your lips. You loved to feel him like this. Feel his thickness fill your mouth, to feel your throat stretch around him. To hear the moans you caused by how well you worked him.

Bobbing your head, he bucked his hips towards your face causing the tip of his cock to hit the back of your throat. You opened a bit wider, letting yourself gag around his length before pulling him back to the front of your mouth to swirl your tongue along the underside of his tip.

“Jesus, baby, you are so….good,” he breathed out between low pants.

You peeked up to see him hastily licking at his lips, eyes wide as the light blue had been heavily overtaken by the black of his pupils. Popping him from your mouth, you stroked him lightly as your eyes fixated on his before you flattened your tongue and slowly licked a long stripe up the underside of his cock right along his prominent vein, straight to the tip. He hissed at you through clenched teeth before dropping his hands from the wall and grabbing at your arms, tugging you up to your feet and greedily pressing his mouth to yours again.

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you let your fingers card through his mess of blonde hair, gripping and pulling as he began to step backwards. His big hands cradled around your lower back, guiding you along with him. “Take ‘em off,” he demanded, breaking away from your lips to clumsily grab at the hem of your shirt.

Still stumbling down the hall towards his bedroom, you both giggled and fumbled with articles of clothing, stripping them off and dropping them to the floor with every step. Sneaking little kisses in between, he bumped teeth with you and laughed before catching you as you almost toppled over trying to take off your shoe. It’s not as easy as it looks, undressing while trying to walk.

Finally reaching his room, he slipped his boxers down his legs, kicking them off his ankle as you tore your bra down your arms and tossed it to the side. He backed you right up to the bed, a devilish little smile on his face as he roughly grabbed your hips in his hands and leaned down, attaching his hot mouth to your nipple. You threw your head back to your shoulders, screwing your eyes shut as your hands found their way to his hair again. He flicked your pert nipple with his tongue, lightly sucking it in between his teeth and clamping down gently, causing a whimper to pulse from your bared throat. Pulling back on it before letting go, he watched as your full breast bounced back and he chuckled in delight like a horny teenager.

Rolling your eyes, you moved your hands to cup around his face, bringing his mouth to yours to kiss him again. He pushed into the kiss, his arm slinging around your waist and leaning you down onto the bed, catching himself with his free arm.   

“Let’s just see how much you’ve missed me,” he softly whispered into the skin of your jaw. Reaching down between your bodies, you gasped lightly as you felt him slip two fingers past your the hem of your underwear. You arched your back as he gently slid his fingertips along your already soaking folds.

“Mmm, so fucking wet,” he commented between nips on your neck, “All for me.”

“Yes,” you breathed out back to him, “all for you.”  

He smirked against your skin before pulling his fingers away and leaning up on his knees, making you whine from the loss of his touch. “Turn over.”

Obeying him, you quickly flipped your body so that you were laying flat on your stomach, Niall still slotted between your legs. You felt him curl his fingers into the back waistband of your underwear and yank them down your legs, throwing them over his shoulder to the floor. Pressing your cheek to the mattress with your arms resting up by your head, you felt his fingers find your begging heat again. He teasingly rubbed along your slit before before pausing to circle your opening, your teeth sinking down into your bottom lip as he slowly sunk two thick fingers inside you. Your breath caught in your throat and you raised your hips up off the bed a little to invite him in even more, wanting to feel the fullness. He splayed his free hand on top of your bum cheek, holding you still as his fingers began to work inside you.

“Got such a pretty little ass,” he mumbled, groping at the skin with his rough fingers. He harshly pulled at the flesh, spreading you open so he could get a better view. Biting at your lip as he slipped his fingers from you, you felt him lean over your back and line himself up and, without warning, push himself inside. You twisted your fingers to his bed sheets, a small cry curdling past your lips.

Thrusting hard and fast, you knew he was desperate for you, desperate to fully get off. He slowly slid his hand up your spine, bunching your hair up and tangling his fist around it, holding it out of the way. Dropping his body down flush to your back, he continued thrusting, frantically sucking over the skin at your shoulders to the back of your neck. “So...fucking...tight,” he panted out, his breathing staggered as his body worked on top of you. Your eyes fluttered and he dipped his hips down with each steady thrust, burying himself as deep into you as he could.

You could feel yourself start to clench around him, your impending release hanging right on the edge and you hissed in a breath, pinching your eyes tight. The force of his thrusts started to become a bit painful as he stretched you, fucked into you rough and relentlessly, but you didn't want him to stop. Ever. Feeling like you were about to burst from your center, you tried to slip one of your hands down between you and the mattress to rub at your clit.

“I need...to come, Niall. It’s too...much, please….I need to come.”

“Come for me then.”

“I need...I need your fingers,” you finally squeaked out between heavy breaths.

He let go of your hair, moving his body just enough to shove his hand up underneath you. His calloused fingers quickly found your sensitive clit, tight circles being caressed against the nerves and you moaned out loud, letting your body succumb to the intense pleasure he was giving you. Rocking your hips back into his with each powerful thrust, you began to cry out, clenching around him and he breathily grunted out in response.

“Fuck, Niall...you-...fuck.”

You couldn't even find the right words, couldn't even catch your breath as he slammed his thick cock into, his thighs slapping against yours as he filled you so perfectly over and over. You could have sworn you actually stopped breathing for a moment when you felt your trembling stomach contract, your legs shaking uncontrollably as you pulsed deep around him.

“Jesus Christ,” he swore out as you came, your body convulsing as he continued to work you with his fingers.

You cried out as you vibrated against him, weak whispers of his name slipping out past your dry lips over and over. Leaning himself back down, he carefully pulled his hand from under your body and kissed along your sweat coated back, his lips dragging over the sticky skin. He gently rested his head down between your shoulder blades, his large palms pushing the mattress on either side of you as he dipped his hips and thrust into you one last time, so incredibly deep and slow, your breath hitched as you tried to wiggle away from the pressure.

He quickly pulled his hips back, his throbbing cock slipping out of you as he wrapped his fingers around himself and gave himself a few long hard strokes. He came hard, his body coiling up and convulsing above you as his thick load spurt out across the tender skin of your bum. Deep grunts rumbled out of his chest, your name slipping out like silk off his tongue as he struggled to gather his breath, the hot air fanning out across the wet skin of your back.

You both laid there, with rapid pulses and heavy strained breaths beating out as the weight of him pressed you into the bed. Your eyelids fluttered from the satisfaction and he chuckled faintly as he gave you a small kiss to your spine before lifting himself up.

Leaning back on his heels, he admired the work he had done to you as you tried to smooth out your hair, raising up on your elbows with a huff to peer back at him. You jumped as he gave you a light slap across your bottom. “You look good like this. All covered in my cum.”

A smile tugged at your lips. “I like to be covered in your cum.”

“Oh, I know you do,” he quipped with a quirked brow, “Like to be reminded that you’re mine.”

He smirked as he reached out with a finger and swiped it through his sticky mess that was painted across your ass. Locking your stare with his, you slowly opened your mouth and stuck out your tongue, wiggling the tip a little at him as he brought his cum coated finger to your lips.

Twirling your tongue around his finger, you ardently licked him clean before he slipped it from your mouth and bent down to hungrily press his lips to yours. Closing your eyes into the kiss, he swept his tongue in your mouth, sharing in the taste of him that lingered before pulling away and placing a small kiss to the tip of your nose.

You giggled at the sweet interaction, dropping your head down as your cheeks began to flush a bright pink. “Oh, so that’s gonna make you blush, but sucking my cum off my fingers isn’t?” he chuckled out as he pushed himself off of the bed and shuffled into his bathroom to grab you a towel.

“Shut up, Niall!” you spit back at him.

He walked back out to you, handing you a small towel. Bending his naked body down over you again, he reached out to pull your face into his. Resting his forehead against your temple, he lightly pressed a kiss at the corner of your mouth. “You...are incredibly cute,” he whispered against your lips before placing another quick kiss to your nose. He jumped back as you tried to playfully swat him away, missing of course and making him bellow out a laugh.

“I’m too fast for ya. Ha!”

Letting out a sarcastic groan, you reached behind you with the towel, wiping away at the sticky mess he had left on your skin. You turned over and sat up, curiously watching as he grabbed a new pair of sweat shorts from his drawer and slipped them on over his bare bum. Tightening the little strings at the waistband, they sat perfectly low on his slim hips and you caught yourself dreamily staring at him as your tongue ran out across your lips.

“What?” he snapped, your thoughts being interrupted, “Didn’t get enough?” He grabbed at his bulge, jiggling himself in his hand at you before laughing and reaching back into his dresser.

“Oh please,” you retorted, rolling your eyes at him while trying to cover up your slight embarrassment of being caught mid daydream, “You wish.”

He stepped back over to you, a grin on his still flushed face as he held out one of his white t-shirts. “Here. Put this on,” he told you, your eyes locking on his as you reached up to grab it from his hands. He yanked it back from your grasp and tipped your head in confusion, your brows knitting. “Leave your panties off though.”

Seeing that infamous cocky ass grin and brow raise he was giving you, you wanted nothing more than to slap it right off his face. “Don’t I always?” you questioned back, rolling your tongue in your mouth.

He spun his body and looked back to give you a wink before walking out his bedroom door towards the kitchen. Still sitting naked on his bed, you watched his body as he sauntered down the hall. The lean muscles in his back flexed with every step and those sweatpants were barely hanging onto the top curve of his ass. The deep cuts of his hips were so noticeable, you just knew he was trying to torture you.

“I’m gonna get something to eat. Absolutely starvin’!” he called out to you, not even turning to look back at you as you heard him pat at the bare skin of his stomach. You huffed out a breathy laugh and instinctively squeezed your thighs together, the aching soreness in your center starting to set in. He was normally pretty rough during sex and you liked it that way, but he sure had done a number on you this time.

‘I guess a week is a bit too long for him’, you thought yourself as you pulled his t-shirt over your head. Hopping up off the bed, you walked down the hall to join him in the kitchen. He was standing in front of the open fridge, his hand up by his mouth as he bit at his fingernail. You walked past him and slowed to place a small kiss at his shoulder. He smiled to himself, dropping his hand to lay a slap across your ass as you continued walking past. You yelped out a laugh and stepped over to the empty counter space, lifting yourself up to sit and crossing your legs at your ankles.

“You hungry?” he asked, his back hunched over as he rummaged through the fridge, “What do ya want?”

“Whatever. I’m not picky.”

“Jesus, I really need to go shoppin’,” he stated, peeking into one of the drawers, “I don’t got shit in here!” He slammed the fridge door shut and grabbed a menu from the counter. “Well,” he said, waving the menu at you as he shuffled over to where you were seated on the counter, “Looks like it’s gonna be takeaway then.”

He placed himself in front of your knees and you uncrossed your legs, spreading them as you grabbed him around his waist and tugged him in, nestling him right between your thighs. Slinging your arms up over his shoulders, you hooked your fingers together behind his neck. He smiled at down at you and held up the menu. “What do you want?”

“I don’t know,” you said, shrugging your shoulders, “Pizza’s good, I guess.”

“Ahhh good choice.”

He reached over to the side to pick up his house phone and began dialing the number. As you listened to him place the order, something came over you and you leaned your head down, pressing your mouth to his neck to slowly suck along his salty skin. You knew not to suck too hard, Niall wasn’t keen on being marked where others could see, but sometimes you just couldn't help yourself.

“Babe, no marks, ‘member?” he faintly whispered to you, his fingers kneading rough into your lower back as he continued to place the order.

“No marks,” you repeated against his warm neck, “I just like to kiss your little freckles.”

Dragging your lips up, you placed soft little kisses at each tiny freckle that dotted over his neck and jaw, connecting each kiss with a trail of your tongue. “Too cute to resist.”

He let out a groan at the feeling as he hung up the phone, tossing it down on counter.  Bringing both hands to your face, he cradled them around your cheeks and pulled you into a heated kiss. You playfully laughed against his lips, wiggling your bottom closer to the edge of the counter and pressing your center against him as you subtly rocked your hips.

“God, you’re fuckin’ trouble,” he breathed against your tongue. Smiling at him, he broke his wet lips away from yours and gently tapped at your leg. “C’mon, let’s go watch some telly.”

He began to walking towards the living room as you stopped him. “Niall…” you whined, making him turned around to look at you. He darted his eyes over your face as you stuck out your bottom lip at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Carry me,” you demanded, holding out your arms and swinging your leg against the counter.

“What?” he said, pulling his brows in.

“Carry me? Please?”

“Babe-” he started, before pausing and realizing there was no way he was going to win this one. He rolled his eyes with a half smirk. “Fuckin’ hell…”

Trudging back over to you, he turned around and let out a huff as he mumbled a soft, ‘c’mon then’. Squealing in delight, you wrapped your arms around his neck and hopped up onto his back. He grabbed your thighs in his strong hands to hold you up as you hooked your feet together in front of him.

“So much fuckin’ trouble,” he muttered under his breath, shaking his head as he began to walk.

You giggled softly, putting your mouth right at his ear. “Yeah, but you love it.”

“ ‘Course I do.”

He carried you into the living room, your arms squeezing tight around his neck as you nibbled playfully at his earlobe. His hands pinched at your thighs, making you yelp and squirm in his grip as he dropped you onto the couch. Laughing loudly, you curled up into a ball facing him as he plopped down next to you, your back leaning against the armrest as you tucked your knees to your chest and pulled his t-shirt down over them.

You watched as he grabbed the remote off the table and turned the on the TV, sinking himself back into the couch. Flipping through the channels, he perked up when he saw one of his favorite movies was on.

“Babe! Look!” He exclaimed, tapping the side of your leg with his fingers, “Step Brothers! Ha! Yes!”

You smiled out a laugh at him. You had seen that particular movie so many times by now, you could practically recite it in your sleep. It kinda became you and Niall’s go to “date” movie, if that’s what you wanted to call this. Though you did wish he’d pick something different sometimes, it was sort of cute how excited he got every time he watched it. Tilting your head to the side, you rested it on the back of the couch and found yourself getting absorbed in the movie. Sitting there, your hands fell to rest at your feet and you felt Niall’s hand absentmindedly slide over to yours. Without even looking up, he intertwined your fingers in his and gave them a little squeeze. You bit at your lip, trying to hold in your smile as those damn butterflies were starting to go crazy in your tummy.

“Food should be here soon,” he mentioned, reaching up to scratch at his stubble.

“Good,” you puffed out, “I’m hungry.”

“Hi Hungry, I’m Niall.” You shifted your eyes to look at him and he was already staring at you, a big pleased, dopey smile on his face.

Reaching over, you pushed at his shoulder. “You’re so dumb,” you shot back to him, letting out a little chuckle.

Just then, you both heard the door buzzer go off, the sound making you both jump. “Pizza’s here!” Niall yelled, pushing up from the couch. He stopped by you as he started to walk to the door and used a finger to lift your chin up as he bent down slightly to place a soft kiss at your lips. He pulled away with a wink and a light finger tap to the tip of your nose before half jogging over to the door.

You sat quietly on the couch, still bundled up in his shirt as you waited for him to come back with the pizza. Grabbing two glasses of water along with the pizza box, he slumped back down onto the couch next to you and opened the box, handing you a slice. You grabbed it from him and wasted no time taking a huge bite, nearly choking into a laugh as the melted cheese left strings dangling from your mouth.

“Jesus, woman, slow down...I don't know how to save ya if you choke!”

You shrugged your shoulders at him, finishing your slice of pizza in no time before sitting back to watch him as he ate. You didn’t know why, but there was just something...so special about him. Something about him that made him absolutely irresistible to you, and yet here he was; slumped over half naked on the couch next to you, his lisp smacking as he chewed loudly with his mouth open, food hanging from his mouth every time he laughed at the dumb movie and it was so gross, but yet, you couldn't stop thinking about how much you just wanted to kiss him. You shook your head at yourself. Obviously, you must be losing your mind.

Leaning back further into the couch with a low sigh leaving your lips, you just let your eyes soak him in. He was so beautiful. All his gross boy habits aside, he was just simply the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. The kind of beautiful that made your heart skip a beat with every mention of his name or your breath catch in your throat with every glance of his blue eyes or every bright flash of his smile. The kind of beautiful that made the butterflies go wild in your belly with every warm touch of his skin.

It was unreal how often you caught yourself just sitting and staring at him. Watching his throat bob as he laughed and his stomach muscles tense as the booming noise left his mouth. Watching as he raised up his big hand to run it through his disheveled mess of hair and brought it back down to his mouth to chew nervously at his fingernail. He kicked up his skinny hairy legs, propping them on the coffee table and chuckled when he almost knocked the pizza box to the ground. Without missing a beat, he nonchalantly reached over and wrapped his fingers around one of your bare ankles, his thumb rubbing circles at the front. He hadn’t even taken his eyes of the telly, but he didn't need to. All of this, it was heaven to you.

You had come to realize in the last few months, that Niall was everything to you. He literally meant the world. You waited for him to call, to text or to skype while he was gone. You waited for him to give you that signal that everything was in order and you could pop round to his or meet up at a hotel for the night. And all of that was okay, but you found yourself constantly wondering if this was it for him. If this was all he wanted. Wanted a quick fuck in the middle of the night when he was horny. You had both agreed in the beginning that being hush-hush about your relationship was best for everyone at the time being, but that was months ago and he hadn’t brought it up to you since. And as much as you didn’t want to admit it, you found yourself waiting for not only his texts, but for his heart. Fully and unconditionally.

You dropped your head as your mind started to swirl. What if this is all he wants?, you thought, does he even feel the same for me as I feel for him? Could I really keep going on like this? You bit at your lip as you felt his grasp around your ankle tighten. Peering up, you caught him staring at you, his brow furrowed slightly as his eyes darted over your sullen face.

“What’s goin on, álainn?”

You blew a puff of air past your lips as your eyes flicked to the tv, unable to look him straight in the face. He knew you couldn’t resist when he called you that. His little terms of endearment were too much for you to handle sometimes.

Running his hand slowly up your leg, he squeezed a bit around your calf. “Come on, love, you can tell me. I know there’s somethin’ wrong by the look on your face.”

You slowly shifted your eyes back to his, searching over his face as your arms tightened around your knees. He was so soft, so lovely when he spoke to you like that, looked at you like that. It was a weakness, he was your weakness.

You weren’t quite sure how you were feeling or even what you were feeling, for that matter, but you needed to know how he felt about you, about your relationship. Taking a deep breath, you pressed yourself forward. “I’m…uh,” you said quietly, your glance dropping to stare at the dimple in his chin,” I’m not really sure what’s going on between us. Like, I know we’re having fun and everything, but is this, like, all you want? Is this it for you?”

He let out a sigh as he listened and rolled his lips into his mouth. “Babe, this is not it for me,” he began softly as you felt his stare swarm over your face, “I love being with you, you know that. I love spending time with you and talking to you and yes, fucking you, but no, this is not it for me. This is just...how it has to be for now. If I could change the circumstances, believe me, I would.”

Reaching over, he gently brushed some fallen hair from your face.

“You,” he continued, sliding his hand down to cup your chin between his fingers and bring your attention up to his, “Are an amazin’ girl and I would love nothin’ more than to show you off to the entire fuckin’ world. But that can't happen, not yet. But it will, okay? I promise ya. I just need ya to stick with me a while longer, yeah?” You lightly nodded your head at him, showing him a small smile. “Good. That’s me girl.”

He smirked at you, turning his body towards yours as he moved his hands back down to your legs. With one hand hooking behind each knee, he swiftly yanked you down the couch towards him. You giggled out as the t-shirt popped up over your legs and flung up to rest just under your breasts. Sliding himself in between your spread legs, he hovered over you as he held himself up with one arm, his fingers reaching up to play with a piece of your hair that was laying by your ear.

“You know how much I like you, yeah?” he asked, his eyes fixating on yours.

You casually shrugged your shoulders. “I know how much I like you.”

“Well,” he whispered, his mouth dropping down to your jaw to place small kisses along the tender skin, “Let’s just say...it’s a lot.”

“Oh, it’s a lot, huh?” You said softly, mocking him. He brought his face up flush to yours, his lips just barely brushing against your parted mouth.

“It’s more than a lot. It’s more than I have ever liked anyone before, to be honest,” he whispered, his breath pulsing out against your lips, “I feel happy when I’m with you, I feel like I can be meself. It’s hard to find someone I can be that comfortable around. And you make me nervous, you know that? Like, my stomach gets in these knots when I think about you.” He lifted himself up for a second and put his hand in a fist, waving it around to show you as he laughed.

You giggled at him, reaching up to grasp around his neck with both hands, pulling him back down to your mouth, more than eager to have him kiss you. He smiled at your response as he comfortably rested his body on yours.

“You make me nervous too.”

Pressing your lips to his, you closed your eyes and let your body relax into him, let the feeling of his mouth take over you entirely. He kissed you back, but it wasn't his normal needy frantic desperate kind of kiss, it was slow, delicate and sweet. It was soft and content. It was like he was really kissing you, savoring you. Really letting himself open up to you.

His hand gently cupped around your cheek as he sucked your bottom lip in between his. Opening your mouth to let him in, his tongue slipped across, tangling itself with yours. You both tilted your heads, slowly letting the intensity of the moment deepen the kiss with each passing second. His tongue ran along your lips, sucking you back in with every tender sweep of it. You had never kissed like this before. This intense, this deep. He pulled away, his lips still barely touching yours as his heavy breath engulfed you. Your chest rose as you sucked in a deep breath, letting him fill your lungs.

Smirking at you, he rocked his growing hardness against your center, causing you to hiss in a sharp breath at the friction. The soreness you had started to feel earlier, really having overtaken you now.

“Ouch,” you whined, wiggling your bottom a little bit aways from him.

“You ok? What happened?”

“You happened, ding dong,” you teased, biting at your lip, “I’m just really sore.”

You watched a smug smirk pull across his lips as he lifted his hips off of you a little. “Ah, so I fucked ya good, yeah?”

“You always fuck me good, Niall. You were just a bit, um, rougher this time...that’s all.”

“Awe, babe, I’m sorry,” he said, his voice going soft, “I didn't really hurt ya too bad, did I? You didn't say nothin’...”

“No, no it’s fine. I’m ok,” you reassured him, running your fingers through the hair at the back of his head. You gave him a sweet smile and he returned the gesture before dropping his head to your neck, his mouth finding your collarbone as he took his hand and pushed the t-shirt up and over your breasts. Sucking in another deep breath, the coldness of the air around you caused your nipples to stand erect, goosebumps trailing over your heated skin. Kissing his way along as he moved his body down the couch, he stopped to swirl his tongue around each nipple and traced his tongue over the span of your belly and past your belly button. Tipping your head to watch, your mouth parted as he ducked his head down between your spread legs, using his big hands to push your thighs over his shoulders before tossing his one arm to lay over your lower tummy. Your breath hitched in anticipation, your teeth sinking down into your bottom lip as his warm breath fanned out against your dripping heat.

“I think,” he teased, darting his tongue out to give your clit a little lick, “that I could kiss it all better. What do you think?” He raised his eyebrow at you before sticking out his tongue and giving you another quick little flick.

You shakily nodded your head as you drew in a breath. “Yes...yes you can definitely kiss it all better.”

With his one hand splayed out against your tummy to hold you still, he smiled at you before laying his tongue flat at your opening and running it straight up your drenched slit. Shivering hard at the sensation, you threw your hand up behind your head to grasp at the couch cushion as you twisted the fingers of your other hand into the bunched material of the t-shirt. His mouth quickly found its way to your clit and he gently clamped his mouth around, sucking and swirling his tongue. Your eyes fluttered closed as your mouth fell open, a small broken whimper slipping past. Not being able to help yourself, you faintly rocked your hips towards his mouth, wanting to feel more of him as he used his skilled tongue to work you. He was slow and gentle, careful to not cause you any more pain as he savored in the sweet taste of you. Sliding his hand up your stomach, his fingers found yours and he intertwined them together, squeezing tight. Your breathing started to get heavy in your chest and you could feel twinges of pleasure being shot through you like a jolt of lightning at every little flick of his tongue.

Peeling your eyes open to peer down at him, he smirked into your leaking heat before lifting his face from you. You whined at him, sticking out your swollen bottom lip as you rolled your hips up. Letting go of your hand and shifting his body on top of you again, he leaned down and placed a kiss at your lips.  

“Do you think you’ll be okay if I fuck you again?” he whispered lightly into your mouth.

Swallowing hard, you flung your arms over his shoulders. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine...really. Just please...please fuck me okay?”

Your fingers dug into the skin of his back as you held him close into you, bucking up your hips to rub yourself into his thick bulge. Leaning himself back on his heels and looking at you, his eyes trailed down the span of your exposed body.

He lifted a hand to his face, his lips rolling into his mouth as he scratched at his nose. “How ‘bout you fuck me instead,” he said, dropping his hand and palming himself through his sweatshorts, “That way you can, ya know, control it and whatever.”

“You want me to ride you?” you asked, tongue darting out of your mouth to lick at your lips. Rolling your hips down into the couch, you could feel yourself getting wetter by the second just thinking about it. Riding him wasn’t something you did often, even though you both really loved it. Normally your trysts were so desperate, so lust filled and eager, that he almost always ended up being on top of you.  

Throwing his head back, he bellowed out a laugh, “Baby, you know I love it when you ride me.”

Standing up to turn off the tv, he kicked off his shorts before plopping back down on the couch. You watched as he wrapped his long thick fingers around himself, his hand slipping up and down his throbbing shaft as he stroked a couple times before he peeked over at you, quirking his eyebrows and pat his hand at his thigh.

“Hop on, baby.”

Breathing out a smile, you quickly scrambled your body over to him, throwing a leg over to straddle his lap and roughly grabbing his face in your hands. You giggled into a kiss as his fingers found the hem of the t-shirt and pulled it up and over your head, your lips leaving his for a split second before his mouth attached to your neck. He ran his hands from your shoulders down your back to grip around your waist, your head tilting to the side, giving him access to your throat as his teeth grazed at your clammy skin.

Licking a solid stripe up the curve of your neck all the way to your chin, he placed a small kiss to it as you brought your face to his, staring into your eyes. You gingerly nodded your head, giving him permission as you bit into your bottom lip, his hands digging into your skin as he gently lifted you up by your waist. You kept your eyes on his as you lined yourself up over his fully hard cock and slowly, so very slowly, slid down on him, your mouth dropping open in silence as he stretched and filled you. Pausing to let yourself adjust, you felt his thumbs dig into your hip bones as he gasped in a breath and dropped his head to the back of the couch.

“Fuck baby,” he blurted out, his pink lips parting as heavy breaths started rushing past.

You began to rock your hips, slowly grinding yourself against him. His grip on you got tighter, his calloused fingers pressing in deep to the skin of your hips. You watched him as you worked him; placing a hand at his bared neck and running it down his chest, stopping to let it rest right above his belly button, just feeling his ab muscles contract as he desperately held himself off from fucking hard up into you. He let his eyes fall closed, his tongue darting out to lap at his lips, gone dry from his deep panting breaths.

Dropping your head back on your shoulders as you moved your body, you slowly slid up and down on his cock, your hips meeting his with every rock of them. You pushed yourself down onto him and grinded your center right into his pubic bone, giving into the pressure it was providing to your clit. Broken moans left your mouth, your body vibrating against him as you felt his lips at the hollow of your throat.

Placing little kisses all the way up as you shakingly brought your chin back down, his mouth finally met yours with a press of your foreheads and you both closed your eyes, melting into each other. His one hand ran up your back, cupping at the back of your neck as he gently started thrusting up into you, meeting the rocking of your hips. You moaned against his mouth as his other arm wrapped around your lower back, his fingers digging in so deep to your skin, you were confident there would be tiny bruises forming within the hour.

He was pushing himself so far into you, so deep, you almost couldn't catch your breath. “God...you’re incredible,” he whispered into the skin of your jaw, his tongue sucking at the sweaty flesh.

Reaching your hands up to cup his face, your fingers dug into his scalp in the side of his head. You held him close, bringing his warm sticky forehead back up to rest on yours. He stared straight into your eyes, his lips skimming across yours at every thrust.

“I’m not hurting you, am I?”

“No,” you panted out, eyes rolling back, “but...I think...I’m...fuck.”

He smiled at you and pressed a light kiss to your swollen, parted mouth. His fingers brushed back some of your hair from your face, his eyes completely fixated on you, still gently, but fully, filling you with each thrust of his hips. As you felt your weakened body begging to let go, you couldn't help but think how different this all felt. How real. It was almost as if he wasn't just fucking you, he was making love to you. He was giving you something he had never totally given you before. He was giving you himself. All of him. Completely.

Both his hands found your cheeks, holding you flush to him as he kissed your mouth again, your fingertips sliding down to curl into the hair at the nape of his neck. You rolled your hips to meet his steady thrusts as you started to clench around him, your legs clasping tight to his thighs.

“Look at me,” he whispered into your open mouth, breaths heavy and desperate, “don't come yet. Hold it. I want to come with you.”

“O-okay...”

Whimpering out as he thrust in deep, you tensed your stomach, trying so hard to hold off your orgasm as best as you could. It was right there, you were tipping right over the edge and the feelings that were trying to rip through you was so intense, you weren't sure how much longer you could hold off. Staring into his eyes, the dark of his pupils had completely overtaken the searing blue and your body jolted around him as his cock hit right at your special spot. You cried out under your breath, rolling your hips into his.

Niall could feel you fighting against your orgasm, feel you straining hard to not yet give in. “You...you can do it, baby. I’m almost….there. Fuck...just keep fucking me, just like that.”

Biting into your lip, you pushed yourself all the way down on him, letting him bury in deep as you swirled your hips and rocked against the curve of his dick. Sweat beaded down both your bodies and you couldn’t help but think about how you had never felt so close, so connected to him. He pressed his forehead harder into yours, so close you felt as if you were going to suffocate in his breath as he clasped a hand around the back of your head.

“God...I-...I fucking love you,” he whispered.

You gasped at his words, your mouth hanging open in a stricken breath as your held orgasm finally edged over and soared right through your sore body. You could’ve sworn the room went black for a second as your breathing hitched, your release so powerful, so earth shattering, it felt as if you shot out from your blistering hot skin and floating up above everything. You felt dizzy, almost faint as the air got sucked from your lungs.

“F-fuck..Niall…”

“I’m gonna... come inside ya, okay, I just...I need to come inside ya.”

He groaned as you faintly nodded your head at him, struggling to snatch a breath as your mouth still hung open, your used body shaking and trembling around him. Burying as deep into you as he could, his stare never left yours as he stilled his hips and came inside you, filling you up as you pulsed around him. He squeezed his eyes shut, his face flushing pink and glistening with sweat as your name flew from his sweet pink lips. His body coiled up around your front as he slammed his mouth to yours, his thrusts slowing down to let you feel the entirety of him still twitching his release  inside you.

Pulling back from the kiss, he opened his eyes to stare at you. You both sat there in silence, his cock softening inside you as you fought to catch your breath. Trying to wrap your head around what had just happened, what he had just said to you, your eyes darted back and forth with his and your lips parted, but you were unable to form any words, unsure of what to say.

He leaned back into the couch in a huff, moving his one hand to rest at your waist while the other untangled from your wild hair, tucking a bit of the mess behind your ear. You watched him quietly as his chest rose up and down heavily, straining to settle his breaths.

“I can’t believe you didn't know how I really felt about you,” he finally said, giving you a half smirk as he ran his other hand back down the curves of your side to sit at your thigh.

Scraping your teeth over your lip, you leaned your body into him and reached up your hand to brush away at the wet fringe that was stuck to his forehead. “Well, I know now,” you whispered to him, bringing your mouth to his, “and I love you too.”

He gripped onto you as you kissed him, hard. Sweeping your tongue in to taste at him, you pulled away with a smack and he peered down to watch as you lifted yourself off of him as slow as you could and stood up between his knees. Slapping you on your bum as you stepped back, you gave him a giggle before running out of his living room to the bathroom, picking your clothes up off the floor on the way.

He stayed seated for a second, thinking as he ran both hands up through his hair and rested them at the back of his head. Letting a smile pull across his face, he huffed out a breath with a shake of his head and leaned forward to grab a napkin off the table and clean himself off. Standing up, he pulled his shorts back on just as you came walking back out of the bathroom.

You stood in his foyer as you watched him start to shuffle towards you and you dropped your stare, those nervous knots quickly forming in your tummy again. He came up to you, flinging his arms around your waist and pulled you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, tucking your head into the warm crook of his neck. He smelled so good. His old worn cologne mixed with that musty smell of his sweat. You couldn't help but take a deep breath.

“That was...amazin’,” he whispered as he buried his face into your mess of hair, “I really wish you could stay.”

“Me too.”

“One day, baby. I promise.” You nodded your head at him before standing on your tiptoes to give him a small kiss. Smiling against his lips, you let go and turned around as he bent down to pick up your keys and phone off the floor. He handed them to you and opened his front door, a soft hand at your lower back to lead you out.

“Bye, love,” he whispered, sticking his tongue out at you as you whipped around to look at him. You quietly laughed as you tossed up your hand, waving your fingers at him.

“Bye, Niall.”

He watched you walk to your car, shutting his front door as you safely climbed in. Sitting in his drive, you rested your head back and closed your eyes, just replaying everything that had happened that night, savoring it. You let out a huff of breath as you heard your text tone go off. Grabbing your phone, you looked down at the screen.

          i love you

That’s all it said. That’s all it needed to say. Your heart was beating furiously in your chest as your fingers fumbled to type back.

                              i love you too x

Putting your phone down,  you started your car and pulled through the gate and out of his drive, not being able to do anything but wonder what your next date would be like. If it was anything like tonight, you couldn't wait. Couldn’t wait to see him and hear his laugh. To kiss him and feel his body against yours. To feel his touch and hear him utter those three words to you again. Couldn’t wait to get that next text. To feel that rush.  

Couldn’t wait for the next midnight.

[horansqueen]

you know i still cant believe someone was bullied away from tumblr and forced to delete their blog. seems like everyone has forgotten about it already. i didnt.

[evdockia]

I can't believe Shanna deactivated!

[daniallricciardo]

I ALREADY MISS SHANNA @nialledfrombehind

Shanna if you see this ever just know going to your blog was the light of my day and many people’s days and that tumblr will not be the same without you 😭😭😭😭

[deniallisstrong]

I heard that woman deleted her blog and I'm confused as to exactly what happened?? It sounds like people were being very unfair to her though I hope she's ok :(((

Hi nonnie! Here’s her official note about it that she wrote on a friend’s blog: http://deniallisstrong.tumblr.com/post/151714670900/a-message-from-shanna. Her name is Shanna and her blog was nialledfrombehind. She was (and still is) a big, friendly, and important person in the Niall side of the fandom. She wrote a lot of Niall fic, both in drabble form and full fics (and she was one of my big inspirations to start writing fic in the first place!). She was pressured to delete her blog because people were bullying her, saying they were going to show her family her blog and all she’d written.

While I don’t want to get too far into this, I just want to point out that for a lot of writers and artists tumblr is usually of the few spaces we feel we can be ourselves. It is a safe space for us. If it wasn’t considered safe, we wouldn’t be putting up such personal parts of ourselves. And the fact that Shanna felt her safe space was so compromised that she not only had to delete her blog but also her writings says a lot about what must have been going on behind the scenes (though I don’t want to put words in her mouth, of course).

But I hope maybe things calm down eventually that she feels she can come back–if she wants to. Or maybe that she can put up her writing up again for others to continue to enjoy. If not, that’s her choice and completely up to her, and she ultimately seemed to do what was best for her in the moment.

The thing to take away from all this is 1.) if you enjoy someone’s work or their blog, please tell them. Sometimes they have no idea or don’t hear those kind words enough. And 2.) most importantly, if you feel the need to say something rude to someone else, especially if it gets to the point of making threats….. just don’t say it. On anon or not. Sometimes it’s better to keep thoughts to ourselves, because we never know what the consequences of our actions will be. Don’t be the person that makes bloggers feel they have to leave, please.

[iwanttobenialled]

Came online to find out that one of my favorite blogs deleted due to bullying. WTF is wrong with people.

[edgeofmyniall]

I’m so upset. I’m sad. I’m hurt. I’m angry. Shanna and I were never mutuals, but the times that we talked to each other, she was nothing but sweet and kind. People have no boundaries and love to tear people apart if they have something good going. I followed Shanna for years now and it hurts my heart that she had to let something go in order to protect herself. WHY ARE PEOPLE SO UGLY? No wonder other fandoms don’t want anything to do with us, because the people who threatened Shanna are the same ones that pull that shit all time. This is a place where people can have a few hours of relief from their hectic lives and y'all (not all of you) took that away from sweet Shanna. I’m going to miss her writings, her tags, her lovely heart, her jokes, but mostly her and the happiness she brought this site. This is why we cannot have nice things.