#nicholas epley

[dk-thrive]

How much more often would you reach out in kindness if you knew how much good you could actually do?

Mistakenly fearing that meaningful conversations would go poorly can keep us from creating the strongest connections. Our pessimism extends beyond conversation. Asking for help, performing an act of kindness, giving someone a compliment, expressing your gratitude, or calling an old friend to reconnect is more favorably received than those who are reaching out expect. How much more often would you reach out in kindness if you knew how much good you could actually do?

— Nicholas Epley, from "The Science of Talking to Strangers - People are too pessimistic about how others will respond when they reach out to connect with them" (wsj.com, May 29, 2026)

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

From: Morality 1: Good without gods

Findings in neuroscience are now pulling back the curtain on religious moral thought.

In a revealing study by Nicholas Epley and others, Christian volunteers were asked to report their own views, the views of their deity and the views of others on a range of controversial issues, such as legal euthanasia while having their brain activity scanned.

Results showed that thinking about divine views activated the same brain regions as thinking about their own views, indicating that when believing themselves to be consulting a divine moral compass, theists may instead be doing what the rest of us do: searching their own conscience. An idea further supported by the finding that manipulating subjects' beliefs consistently influenced their views about divine beliefs.

As Epley's team put it: "intuiting god's beliefs... may... serve as an echo chamber to validate and justify one's own beliefs"

Link: “Believers’ estimates of God’s beliefs are more egocentric than estimates of other people’s beliefs“ - Epley, et al (2009).

[helianthus1905]

Put your embarrassment in perspective.

The next time something embarrassing happens to you, remember that others are simply not as interested in you as you might believe.

Indeed, they have their own embarrassing actions to grapple with!

Remember that, when it comes to recalling events from your life, your own memory is much better than that of others, who simply won’t recall (at least as vividly as you do) the event that caused you such embarrassment.

I always love this quotes “no one cares”

Yes!! So I could do anything without thinking about what others are saying because back again “no one cares” ☺️

[helianthus1905]

We think that we know the minds of others better than we actually do.

To learn how to become more precise “mind readers,” we must first learn more about our own minds and the many flaws and prejudices we hold.

Even then, reading minds remains difficult, so the best way to learn about the thoughts and feelings of the people around you is through direct communication.

[davidpotash]

Understanding Others - Harder and More Useful Than You Realize

Understanding Others – Harder and More Useful Than You Realize

Few life skills are more useful than understanding what other people are thinking. Successful leadership demands an awareness of it. Meaningful projects inevitably require of groups  of people working together. Negotiating without it is close to impossible. Empathy – knowing and sharing another’s feelings – is vitally important to being a connected human. But empathy does not necessarily include…

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[sciencebookaday]

Mindwise: How we understand what others think, believe, feel and want

Mindwise: How we understand what others think, believe, feel and want

Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want by Nicholas Epley

Synopsis: You are a mind reader, born with an extraordinary ability to understand what others think, feel, believe, want, and know. It’s a sixth sense you use every day, in every personal and professional relationship you have. At its best, this ability allows you to achieve the most important goal in almost…

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[sonyasupposedly]

Communicational Pliancy

1940 or thereabouts in Pie Town, New Mexico. Yes, Pie Town! Photo via the Library of Congress. Today I had a conversation with someone to clear up a mild disagreement. The disagreement was only mild because we’re reasonable people — if either of us had handled things differently it could have been a friendship-ending incident. As it was, we reassessed each other’s communication expectations and…

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[acasualcurator]

Other minds are like smoke. They can appear clearly one moment and disappear the next. This is true whether the other mind belongs to a human or an animal, a gadget or a god. Minds emerge when others are close to us - when they look and act like us, need to be explained by us, or are in some way connected to us. Sometimes this leads us to make mistakes.

from ‘Mindwise’ by Nicholas Epley