Sep 18, 2025
The person you are becoming requires you to let go of the person you were.
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The person you are becoming requires you to let go of the person you were.
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The person you are becoming requires you to let go of the person you were.
✧ if it doesn't align with the dream life, it's a distraction ✧
hey lovelies!! 🦢
omg, so, i was literally journaling last night & this phrase just hit me like… so hard. "if it doesn't align with the dream life, it's a distraction." i had to stop writing and just sit with that for a min.
because honestly? i've been feeling so scattered lately. like my energy is going in a million directions but none of them are taking me where i actually want to go. and i realized that's exactly what happens when we don't have clarity on our it-girl blueprint.
so what even is an it-girl blueprint? it's not just aesthetic or vibes (tho those matter too!!) but it's this deep knowing of who you're meant to become. it's that version of you who wakes up excited, who feels aligned, who's living in her dream apartment with her dream career and her dream people. she exists!! she's waiting for you to become her!!
this post is a bit different from my most recents, i wanted to take a little tinyyy break from my pop culture series', like the pll x glowettee and vampire diaries x glowettee series' and just focus more on self-improvement again. i also wanted to take a break from the overwhelming aesthetics i've been using in my posts, and justtttt write~~ (no small text, no crazy colors, just my thoughts) and i realized that distractions have been very prominent in my life lately... so i wanted to address it in this post, and some possible solutions <3
✧ what's actually distracting you? ✧
okay so grab your journal rn and let's get super real about what's pulling you away from your dream life, feel free to use these prompts:
that situationship that makes you feel anxious every time they text (you know the one)
the hours of scrolling that leave you feeling empty inside
saying yes to plans when your body is literally begging you to rest
the "friend" who always has drama and makes everything about them
that project you started because you thought you "should" but you actually hate
staying in that job/class/situation because you're scared to disappoint someone
comparing your chapter 1 to someone else's chapter 20 (guilty!!)
i've been doing this work myself and it's kinda scary how many things i was pouring energy into that weren't actually taking me anywhere i wanted to go??
✧ getting clear on your actual dream life ✧
before we can align with our dream life, we need to know what it actually looks like! not what instagram or your mom or society thinks it should look like, but what YOU want.
some journal prompts that helped me:
when do i feel most like myself?
what activities make me lose track of time?
who makes me feel seen, safe, and supported?
what would my perfect morning routine look like if i had zero obligations?
what kind of spaces make me feel calm and inspired?
what would i do with my time if money wasn't an issue?
what parts of my current life would i keep even if i could change everything?
i did this exercise last weekend and realized that so many things i was chasing weren't even in my dream life blueprint?? like i was stressing about getting into this super competitive program but when i really thought about it, it wasn't even aligned with what i actually want. wild.
✧ how to actually make decisions that align ✧
okay, so here's my little framework for making choices that actually build your dream life:
the body check: before saying yes to anything, check in with your body. does it feel expansive and light, or contracted and heavy? your body literally knows before your brain does!!
the future self question: what would the version of you who's already living your dream life do? she knows!! trust her!!
the energy audit: does this person/activity/commitment give you energy or drain it? only say yes to energy-givers (this one changed my life omg)
the alignment test: ask yourself "does this move me closer to or further from my dream life?" be brutally honest!!
the joy metric: if it doesn't bring you joy or lead to joy, why are you doing it?? (unless it's like… taxes or something lol)
✧ how to let go of the distractions ✧
this is the hardest part tbh. because we get attached to things even when they're not serving us! here's what's helping me:
remember that saying no to something is saying yes to your dream life
start with the easiest distractions first (for me it was unfollowing accounts that made me feel bad)
create little rituals around letting go (i write things down and then burn the paper)
remind yourself that outgrowing things is part of becoming
be gentle with yourself when you slip back into old patterns (we all do it!!)
i had to let go of a friendship a few months that was taking so much energy, and it was really hard but also?? i suddenly had all this space to focus on things that actually matter to me.
✧ your dream life alignment practice ✧
here's a little daily practice i've been doing:
morning: set an intention to notice what aligns and what distracts
throughout the day: when making choices, ask "dream life or distraction?"
evening: celebrate the aligned choices you made + gently note the distractions
it's not being perfect!! it's becoming more conscious of our choices. because every tiny decision is either building your dream life or… not.
i've been doing this for about three weeks now and i already feel so much clearer and more focused. like i'm finally moving in one direction instead of being pulled in a million different ones.
remember: you deserve your dream life. and it starts with choosing it, over and over, in all the tiny moments.
question from mindy:
what's one distraction you're ready to let go of? and one aligned action you're ready to take? (feel free to send me a message in my inbox, or just reblog answering this question.)
xoxo, mindy 🤍
It doesn't matter what others think. This is about YOU. Create a life that you genuinely love with your whole heart & start with yourself.
Brittany Burgunder
The Ultimate List of 100 Questions
Lighthearted and Fun Questions
If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?
What’s your favorite TV show that you can binge-watch over and over?
If you could travel anywhere on Earth, where would you go and what would you do?
What’s your guilty pleasure song that always gets you dancing?
If you were stranded on a deserted island and could have only one item, what would it be?
What’s your favorite ice cream flavor, and do you prefer it in a cone or a cup?
Who’s your celebrity crush, and what would you say if you met them?
What’s the weirdest food you’ve ever tried, and would you eat it again?
If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future, and why?
What’s your favorite way to spend free time on the weekends?
Getting to Know Each Other Better
What’s your favorite book, and how has it impacted you?
What was your dream job when you were a child, and is it still your dream?
What’s your biggest pet peeve, and why does it bother you so much?
Do you have a favorite family member, and what makes your relationship special?
What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?
What’s your love language, and how do you prefer to receive affection from friends?
What are three things on your bucket list that you want to accomplish?
What’s your favorite season of the year, and what do you love about it?
What’s the best gift you’ve ever received, and who gave it to you?
If you could live in any fictional world, which one would you choose and why?
Deep and Thoughtful Questions
What does your perfect day look like from start to finish?
What’s a personal goal you’re currently working towards?
How do you handle stress and maintain your mental health?
What’s the most meaningful conversation you’ve ever had with someone?
What do you think is the most important quality in a friendship?
What’s your biggest fear, and how do you confront it?
If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
What’s a significant life lesson you’ve learned recently?
How do you define success, and do you feel successful?
What’s something you’re passionate about that you’d like to share with others?
Fun and Random Questions
If you were a character in a movie, who would you be and why?
What’s the strangest dream you’ve ever had?
If you could switch lives with one person for a day, who would it be?
What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re feeling down?
Do you have any hidden talents or skills most people don’t know about?
What’s the last time you laughed so hard you cried, and what was it about?
If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done?
What’s your favorite childhood memory?
If you could meet any historical figure, who would it be and what would you ask them?
Questions About Life and Experiences
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received, and who gave it to you?
How do you handle difficult situations or challenges in life?
What’s a skill you’d love to learn, and what’s holding you back?
What does happiness mean to you?
How do you stay motivated when pursuing your goals?
What’s a cause or issue you’re passionate about and why?
Have you ever had a life-changing experience? What happened?
What’s the most valuable lesson you’ve learned from a mistake?
How do you balance work, personal life, and hobbies?
What role does faith or spirituality play in your life?
Questions About Relationships and Emotions
What’s your love language, and how does it affect your relationships?
How do you express appreciation for your loved ones?
What’s one thing you wish people understood about you?
How do you deal with conflict in relationships?
What’s the most important quality you look for in a friend or partner?
How have your past relationships shaped who you are today?
What makes you feel most supported and cared for?
Do you believe in soulmates? Why or why not?
What’s your biggest relationship deal-breaker?
How do you maintain strong connections with family and friends?
Fun Hypothetical Questions
If you could have any animal as a pet, regardless of practicality, what would you choose?
What’s a superpower you wouldn’t want to have?
If you were a superhero, what would your name and costume look like?
Would you rather be able to speak every language or play every musical instrument?
If you won the lottery tomorrow, what’s the first thing you’d do?
What’s a fictional character you wish you could meet in real life?
If you could live in any era of history, which one would you choose and why?
What’s a food combination that sounds weird but you absolutely love?
If you could teleport anywhere right now, where would you go?
Would you rather explore the depths of the ocean or outer space?
Questions About Favorites and Preferences
What’s your favorite movie of all time, and what makes it so special?
Do you have a favorite podcast, and why do you enjoy it?
What’s your favorite place to relax and unwind?
What’s your favorite thing about your best friend?
Do you prefer reading books or watching movies, and why?
What’s your favorite kind of music or artist?
Do you have a favorite quote or saying that inspires you?
What’s your favorite holiday, and how do you like to celebrate it?
What’s your favorite season, and what do you enjoy doing during that time?
What’s your favorite way to stay active or exercise?
Questions About Personal Growth and Goals
What are your top three personal goals for the next five years?
How do you measure personal success?
What’s a habit you’d like to break or develop?
What motivates you to keep pushing forward during tough times?
How do you approach learning new things?
What’s a career or field you’d like to explore more deeply?
How do you stay focused on your long-term goals?
What does self-care look like for you?
How do you handle criticism or feedback?
What’s a challenge you’ve overcome that you’re proud of?
Thought-Provoking and Deeper Questions
What do you think is the meaning or purpose of life?
How do you define true happiness?
What’s a question you’ve always wanted to ask but never had the chance?
Do you believe everything happens for a reason, or do we create our own fate?
How do you cope with the uncertainties of life?
What impact do you want to have on the world or those around you?
How do you handle feelings of doubt or insecurity?
What’s one thing you think people misunderstand about you?
If you could give one piece of advice to everyone in the world, what would it be?
What legacy do you hope to leave behind?
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This is very powerful stuff.
"You cannot love someone into evolution"
Those words are straightforward and could not be more true.
These types of individuals will keep you stuck. Frozen in place while the world pretty much moves on without you. Slowly, you erode, eventually realizing that you have become fragments of who you once were.
You mourn that loss while they continue to bleed you for every ounce of mental and emotional resilience you have. You recognize the patterns becuase you've done that work on yourself in the past. You were aware enough to notice your own dysfunctional patterns then you set out to fix them.
That places you in an entirely different class from who they are as an individual. You can't help them get there. This may be sad, but this is reality. The work you have done on yourself is the reason they have latched onto you. They see you as a safe landing spot for the chaos within them that they refuse to dismantle.
They see you as the "catch-all" for giving them a free pass on everything that is unsettled within them.
You are not their mental and emotional dumping ground, however. There is a world of difference between holding space for someone and supporting someone who you know is actively working toward healing and taking accountability for their wounds, and giving endless time, space, and attention to someone who is only wanting to treat the symptoms of their dysfunction rather than tackling it at the root.
You'll know the difference based on how you feel during the process. If you notice yourself becoming more and more drained the more you try giving them support and parts of yourself begin to become unfamiliar, then you know that you're dealing with someone who is just there to feed on your energy rather than someone who ia actively improving themselves so that the connection is mutually beneficial.
It can be hard to distance yourself from individuals like this, especially if you have let them deeply into your life or if you live with them, but the only effective boundary you can set in a situation like this is that of physical distance.