can’t stop thinking about nicky checking up on andrew during a depressive episodes that get bad enough to keep him in bed. nicky seeing himself in andrew, andrew’s helplessness reminding him of his own after the conversion camps. nicky trying to help andrew, but he doesn’t know how—he didn’t know how to help himself until erik, and the way erik usually helped him was by grounding him with touch, which nicky has definitely learned won’t work on andrew. nicky bringing andrew sweets and sugary food, waiting outside his door after saying “i made pancakes? with extra chocolate chips this time, like you like it.” just to hear a response from andrew.
andrew eventually slightly opening up to nicky about how it feels, the stuff he remembers from foster care during these days, describing how empty it feels. nicky telling andrew of his own days where he struggles to find the motivation to get up, about the conversion camp and the memories. sitting outside andrew’s locked door during the conversations. or sometimes sitting on the floor next to andrew’s bed while andrew stares blankly at the door.
