#nicomobile

[ao-s]

I've been feeling really left out and unimportant and I know a big part of that is just bad timing and trying not to sink into a depression I've been fighting since may. But I find it so hard to connect with people these past few months. I always feel like I'm saying or doing the wrong thing, so I just end up cutting myself off from people so I won't have an opportunity to mess up. Even though I know that's an illogical solution, I just don't know what else to do. Not that some peeps care or notice 8') which only convinces me further that cutting myself off is better hhhhhh. Idk what to do with my bird brained self. But I'm really thankful for the handful of friends who've been kind enough to listen to me even if it's babbling and for their uplifting words and support. But also, sorry for being such a weenie and not knowing what to say most of the time.

[ao-s]

Sometimes I think of quitting cosplay for a handful of reasons and I like to think there would be people telling me not to and convincing me to stay. But the reality is no one would give a shit :)

[ao-s]

Tfw you feel very left out by friends :')

[ao-s]

I hate family gatherings because I am without fail, left alone and ignored. Nice.

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Ah yes 8) today gets worse with each and every interaction. Lovely. Perfect. Just what I need.

[ao-s]

Ah yes. A shitty wave of depression right in time for con season and finals. Maybe if I just never leave my room I won't have to do anything ever again. I'm so stressed out I've had 2 panic attacks over what in hindsight feels like nothing. I ended up crying and I'm glad greg was a good sport about being there for me afterwards but oh my gosh boy. If I'm on the verge of tears please stop asking questions about what I'm freaking out about please. I don't know how I'm going to have time for this portfolio and business plan and patterns or if I'll even pass with only 3 garments done or if I'll fail and have to wait 2 more years for another chance. I don't know what I'll do if that happens. Probably give up all my academic dreams. But that doesn't mean shit to anyone else so whatever, right? I still am mad at my roommates for being immature and irresponsible. But I don't feel like I'm allowed to talk about it either. Gabe literally tried to give me money so I wouldn't snap at him. How about you think about your words and actions and not make rude dismissive remarks towards me for no fucking reason?

[ao-s]

Today is going to be one of those bad days where everything takes a shit turn. Already it sucks.

[ao-s]

I'm growing increasingly frustrated that whenever I come over, we never get any work done.