#nien fluff

[monkebearness]

Our Story, Like a Romance Novel [Chapter 6: Farewell... That First Farewell]

Chapter 0, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

Tags: angst, fluff, heartbreak

[tw]: death, suicidal ideation

Word count: 16.1k

a/n: don't look at the tags below yet, 'cause it will spoil something. unless you have, then, well... it will make more sense later on, once you decided to read the chapter. once more, read at your own risk. some stuff in this chapter are serious and sensitive. this might be fiction, but that doesn't mean you can't also be responsible as a reader. anyways, if you still wanna continue, I'll stop right here.

[I.] Farewell...

“Halmeoni… Hal…” his voice cracked—pushing through the pain in his neck to speak. The ache in his heart was far more excruciating than the scrapes and bruises he’s had.

A ten-year-old whose two worlds had crumbled right before his innocent eyes. Having already felt helpless from the backseat the other night, he felt more paralyzed, lying in this hospital bed and recovering from his fractures, with his grandmother beside him.

“It wasn't your fault, my dear boy,” she held onto his cold arms. He slowly broke down into tears. Junghoon wanted to turn away, but the pain in his chest was just too much, aggravated by the collision in his head, replaying what had happened the night before.

The woman gently tightened her arms around her weeping grandson. Junghoon’s eyes were closed shut, his heart still shattered by what had shaken his life. Byeol-yu did her best to keep her own composure for him. “Gwenchana, Junghoon-ie… I'm here…”

Even if she herself had also lost two of her loved ones, she toughened herself for the one in her arms, murmuring assurance and promises she knew she would have to keep. For as long as she breathed, she would love Junghoon as much as she loved all her children.

= = =

A decade has passed. In his black suit with a white band on his arm, Junghoon greeted all visitors at the funeral hall with low bows and sparing salutations as they evoke their condolences in the last two nights. His closest friends had visited the wake to pay their respects to his late grandmother, while also yearning to comfort him during the lowest point in his life. From his inner circle to what’s left of the Mad Money Club, they’ve set their whatever differences they had aside. When she passed, he thought he would have to handle this bereavement by himself, but familiar faces from his past came to his aid and grieved with him, being able to reserve a room in the hall inside the same hospital where Byeolyi laid to rest by Junghoon’s side until her last breath.

“You must be Junghoon’s friends,” a woman in her mid-forties surmised after bowing to the young adults with their neutral, somber expressions. All ten of them, standing a few feet away from the entrance. “Thank you all for coming by.”

But, to Junghoon, it was a matter of time that he finally reconnected with them tonight. At least to most of them whom he ignored since the fuel of his relationship had run out, so much so that it seemed like he never went through one. Not even to those who knew.

“It’s the least we can do, ahjumma,” Seoyeon answered on behalf of the group. “It must have been hard for him. It must have been hard for you too, finding out the news about your mother-in-law.”

“It is.” She looked down in guilt, tightening her grip on her hand. “But I don't think anyone took it as hard as Junghoon… Not after what happened to our families.”

The funeral was paid and prepared for by the Kim Family. Junghoon never knew a lot about his maternal side of his family. His mother, Kim Mirae, had mostly cut ties with most of them when he was seven and she rarely talked to or about them aside from his grandmother, who took him in after his parents’ passing. But now, suddenly, he met up with them in her passing. It’s a strange phenomenon how one’s loss or even heartbreak can bring people back into one’s life. In his case, it is people whom he’s never faced in a long time or even hoped or expected to meet again until this sudden loss came to them.

“Is that really you, Kim Soomin-ssi?” Aside from his aunt and uncle, Junghoon met his younger cousin once again from his mother’s side. Having turned seventeen years old a couple of weeks ago, Soomin almost looked like an entirely different person in his eyes. Tonight, she and her mother were wearing a black hanbok.

“Yeah, it’s me.” She waved at him, a little shy for this reunion, but still eager to face him nevertheless. “Hi, Junghoon-sachon oppa. It’s been a long time... Wait, umm, can I call you oppa? Or am I being too casual with—”

“Sure, of course. Don’t worry about formalities,” he let out a light and soft chuckle. “It’s nice to meet you again, Soomin-ssi. You’re all grown up… It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Ne… It’s been five years,” Despite maintaining her composure to maintain formality in front of him, the girl came closer to embrace him, to which he reciprocated her comfort for a moment due to their shared loss and grief. “I—really missed you…” she mumbled. “Hyungmin-oppa misses you too—if you still remember him. He’s not here yet, but he will be paying a visit tonight.”

He kept his fingers intertwined. “I do remember Hyungmin-hyung, and I understand if he’s busy with work... But I’m just glad that he’ll make time for our grandmother.”

“Oppa, I don't know how else to say it…” she held onto his right arm with a remorseful tone, something he had never expected her to hear from her. Not since his last funeral. “But this must be hard for you. I can’t even imagine. Losing halmeoni.”

“It--” Remembering his grandmother still fired a few aches through his chest. “It is.”

“What was she like? Halmeoni…” Yet her question somewhat encourages him to feel otherwise. To reminisce about what made her one of the best people he’s ever known.

Through those memories flashing through his mind, a soft smile forms on his face. “Halmeoni was a great woman. She took care of me for as long as I can remember.”

“That’s nice to hear,” Soomin giggled. “I kinda wanna hear about your stories with her.”

Hence, throughout the night, Junghoon would tell her their ten years of living together. Minutes would pass in the hall and it didn’t feel like a chore for him to recall the many times he had the simplest to the grandest breakfast thanks to their grandmother, much so that it planted the idea and motivation in his mind to help her out with cooking their own meal. In spite of the disagreements they once had in the kitchen, it was a tag team for them to chop, slice, dice and fry, boil, and simmer dishes, old and new. Throughout the conversation between cousins who reunited, it was an exchange of comparisons and positive affirmations from their past and present, with some entries of playful envy and jealousy from Soomin because her parents supposedly stopped cooking at their home in the last three years every day. And somehow, the longer he took Soomin into the road of his memories, two names in his life have slowly entered their shared recollection that he finally gave into his own curiosity. Once they’ve gone off course, he took the opportunity to politely ask her, “When, uh, when was the last time you spent time with my parents?”

Her eyes blinked rapidly, but she did her best to recall. “When I was six, or seven… I still remember Aunt Mirae and Uncle Kyungtae when the three of you last visited our home.”

“How were they like to you?” he followed up, rubbing his hand on his other arm to relieve the itch of the shame of wanting to ask Soomin about his own late parents.

“Do you not remember them that well? I don’t mind the question, it’s just, I’m curious.”

“I-uhh, I do,” he told her with some hesitation. “I remember enough memories. But, umm, I also want to hear how other people saw them. When they were still around.”

“Well, I still remember Uncle Kyungtae being a sweetheart whenever we had gatherings back in our hometown…” The more her memories flowed, a wistful smile formed on her face. “He was always trying to please the relatives and neighbors, but not in a bad way.”

He remembered his grandmother’s words. “I guess he’s always been like that, too...”

“You’re so alike, you know?” she added, trying to lighten up the neutrality in his face. “Not just with how you look, but how you welcomed the guests tonight. You basically served everyone like you’re some kind of waiter.”

A soft chuckle left his throat, abruptly appreciating her lighthearted humor. “Well, I was a waiter, so I’ll just take that as a compliment.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “Oh! Mianhae, oppa. I didn’t mean to put it like that.”

“No, no! It’s fine, Soomin-ah. I wasn’t offended by it or anything…” He had to wait for her relief for a few more seconds before he could steer the tone of their talk back into a more serious one. “But… If you don’t mind, what did you remember about my mother?”

“Aunt Mirae was a bit…” With a quick stare downwards, she hesitated at first, restrained by the formalities of a funeral, especially of another family member they were close with.

“Go on… It’s okay, Soomin-ah,” he encouraged, mirroring that smile she just had earlier. He didn’t want her to feel discomfort, still remembering vividly how she could speak and ramble in paragraphs since the last time they talked, that is, unless things have changed,  and the subject wasn’t helping, either.

“Well, she was complicated... She was troubled. Had big issues with my father and her other siblings. We thought she was hurting herself back then. Eomma tried to be more understanding of her and help her, but it’s just, I remember, how Auntie didn't want to feel like she was sick in the head, who always needed help from others.”

He realized what the Kims meant. Why they came to him in the first place. It couldn’t be fate nor a coincidence, but he didn’t want to suspect them with any ill intent. They were here because they lost a loved one, not to be embittered or resentful of their pasts. After all, not every memory they recall around each other would have to be their worst ones.

“But I never saw it as a problem,” she added. “Because she was so kind and helpful to us when we were kids then... It wasn't all bad when we were together, you know? And I bet your mother did her best to take care of you, just like how halmeoni did in those years.”

Junghoon chuffed at her nostalgic remark, as he was also reminiscing about their shared positive memories, no matter how bitter it felt. “She was… They both did. That’s, umm… It's kind of a relief that you still remember them, Soomin-ah… Thank you.”

With a coy smile, she quickly shook his shoulder, but her heart was slowly warmed up by his simple yet sincere gratitude. “Of course, oppa... We’re family! What are cousins for?”

He recalled more of his memories with his family, when they were around and together. Though the sudden presence of his friends arriving at the room shifted his attention, he treated them first as guests.

“You know,” Soomin hesitated for a millisecond before opening her mouth again with a burst of courage. “You can live with us in Daegu…” Just to send him an invitation. “You don’t have to be alone, especially without halmeoni.”

Junghoon didn’t expect to hear that. Out of the people, he thought he’d hear it from his older relatives, but hearing it from someone he was once closer with made him feel like his pounding heart was shrinking. “That’s—I’m fine, Soomin-ah. I can handle–myself.”

“No, you’re not!” Her voice almost raised, but she maintained herself. “And you can’t…”

He didn’t know whether to feel touched or obliged. “Did she meet up with you before..?”

Junghoon didn’t complete his question, but she understood. “She did, a couple of times. I guess that she had a feeling, she wouldn't be able to be with us, with you, for too long.”

“But she wasn’t feeling worse,” he shook his head. “We’ve had monthly check-ups and the doctor found nothing on her. She even drank her medicine on time. How is that–”

“We don’t know either, oppa…” But, as she continued, he felt like they had known more than him in the past two months. “All we knew about her was that she was working as a volunteer at a homeless shelter and some local businesses in the last eight months. The ahjummas we asked… They said halmeoni has done a lot when she’s not around town.”

The mention of the shelter flashed into his mind quickly. Perhaps he should’ve listened to the autopsy, but everyone else around him was hesitant to ruin his mournful silence. “But she was drinking her meds. The doctor said it'll be fine. We’ve had weeks—no, it’s months of check-ups… We even followed every medication... Bought each single one.”

“We know she was, but her health seemed to be fluctuating. And even after recovering from her last condition, there were complications in her lungs, her immune system… Problems she didn't want us to worry about…” She paused. “I’m sorry, oppa. You’ve done all you can for her.”

His heart clenched tighter. They're both aware of her past sickness. Her past vices. But, he couldn't pinpoint anything else as the cause, only what she had been doing while she wasn't inside their house. “I didn’t know that was... I thought she’s just hanging around her friends and going on trips out town. Why would she work on her own? At her age?”

“Because she's Kim Byeolyi. She’s always been a Good Samaritan,” she surmised with a look of guilt and despair, perhaps even with an ironic hint of pride saying her full name. “And her health just, she didn’t want to tell us about it at first. I’m sorry you had to know it like this… Even then, she still asked us to look after you.”

“She did?” Meeting his closest direct relatives? After his grandmother’s passing? It was too good to be true. “Is this why you guys just decided to show up? After all this time?”

Only silence would follow from Soomin, allowing the cold air to seep through. Junghoon sensed another hint of hesitation from her, but she would tell him the truth regardless.

“Eomma and appa has always wanted to meet you for a while, so they took this chance.”

Moving on wasn’t easy for anyone who’s lost a loved one. But Junghoon had to. She wouldn’t want me feeling this way. Maybe that’s why she didn’t tell me about her volunteer work in the shelter kitchen. But I’m already working part-time and…

From afar, he could see ten more familiar folks conversing with each other on one table, standing out with the rest of the guests for the night. Each of them had bowls of rice and bossam next to a serving of spicy beef soup, the same recipe he always followed from the old woman, alongside a cup of their respective drink, whether it was containing soju, for most of the adults, and tea or juice for the rest. As Soomin reconvened with her parents on the other side of the room, Junghoon knew it was time he finally faced them. It’s the least he could do for them as they have traveled miles all the way from their own home to here on a humid Friday night in mid-October.

He walked to the table, getting a closer look at everyone from his dear collegiate circle. On one side, the Mad Money Club: Seoyeon, Dahyun, Nien, Kaede, and Hyerin. On the other, facing him, Kotone, Myungsoo, Honggi, Yubin, and Yeonghwan. All men were in their plain black suits, as with the women in their dresses or blouses and pants, having already bowed in front of his late loved one. Their parents weren’t around, considering they never really knew him or his grandma, but they have nevertheless expressed their condolences through their envelopes filled with about fifty to sixty-thousand won each, received by Junghoon’s aunt and uncle not long after their entrance.

“I didn’t expect everyone to be here, but umm… I appreciate that you came, guys.”

“I’m really sorry for your loss, oppa,” Yubin latched both her hands into his right hand without hesitation, to his surprise. “Most of us can’t imagine how hard this is for you.”

“Thanks, Yubin-ah…” Junghoon let out a somber yet appreciative smile at everyone.

“I know we haven’t seen her much, I wish we got to meet her more,” added Dahyun, her eyes mirroring the sadness she had weeks earlier, when someone else left. It’s true that only some of the club had seen a glimpse or encountered his grandmother in her life. Junghoon could only hum at his friend in agreement, maintaining his cordial smile.

“We’re gonna stay here for a little while, bud, if that’s alright,” Yeonghwan assured the younger man, momentarily reaching his hand onto his arm, between him and Yubin to give him a pat. Junghoon saw the sympathetic smiles in Kotone and Myungsoo, as well as receiving the comforting condolence in the faces and voices of the Mad Money Club.

He didn’t know how else to answer. It’s as if they all agreed to stay with him, formalities aside. “Of course, uh… There’s more than enough food and drinks until midnight, if you all ever get hungry. One week, he was avoiding all of them. Now, they're all here, he was too weak to apologize, with a hint of guilt left in him. “Thank you so much… All of you.” Enticed by such loyalty, a part of him yearned to owe his life to them. And yet, the very loss they attended reminded him of the curse he might have. His own greatest failures.

Even though it wasn’t a necessity, everyone stayed at the funeral hall as long as they could, spewing fragments of their lives in the last few weeks with light laughter and teases over food and drinks. Among them, Dahyun’s group was the first one to leave, mainly due to Hyerin and Kaede hoping to avoid the curfew. An hour and a half later, Yeonghwan drove Yubin and Honggi home after bidding farewell to the bereaved. An hour and forty-five minutes later, Nien and Seoyeon stayed the longest, but the latter still had work at ModHaus by morning, despite Junghoon’s insistence that they could have left earlier. Two hours passed by then, Kotone and Myungsoo with Junghoon, as they had offered their assistance to the Kim family, and even getting acquainted with Soomin and Kyungmin, the latter of whom had arrived at time of the second batch’s departure. Despite their lukewarm relationship since their last meeting, Junghoon nevertheless received a warm and quiet embrace from his older cousin.

By eleven forty-five, Junghoon and his friends found themselves in a state of silence as the guests around were more unrecognizable, faces he had only been introduced tonight yet have expressed their closeness and appreciation for his grandmother. Holding a cup in her hands, Kotone took a sip of her warm tea, before placing the cup on the table and telling him “Take all the time you need, Junghoon-ah,” with utmost consideration while they started talking about academics, at least about how he would deal with them.

“We can talk to Professor Jeong so you can file for a longer leave of absence,” Myungsoo suggested, listing some ways they could help make his following weeks less unbearable. “If that’s not enough, either of us can ask your classmates for any new assignments—”

He would have already been thinking about classes and work. But now that they have brought it up, nothing has been stirring up his mind throughout this whole month. His mind has been docile, blanked and paralyzed to the sudden changes in his life, leaving him with thoughts of “what ifs” and “what could’ve been” driven by his remorse. With his ears mostly deafened by the words of most of the guests he listened to tonight, he realized just how much his grandma had meant to others. Even from the dining hall, Junghoon couldn’t take his eyes off her picture inside the altar in the last five hours. Myungsoo noticed his eye bags had gotten darker since they first arrived, as Kotone detected the absence of his usual emotions whenever he’s not around everyone else.

“I should’ve just paid more attention to her…” he muttered, tone’s soulless. “Halmeoni.”

Kotone deepened her cadence just to defend his despair. “It’s not your fault, Junghoon.”

Every insistence they threw at his heart kept being deflected by self-spite. “Maybe it is.”

“No, it's not…” The woman continued, adding more emphasis with her cadence and lower tone. “There’s a lot of things we can't deal with. We can't control everything.”

He muttered those words before. Without a doubt, it made him remember her again. Out of the many nights, he simply couldn’t escape from the woman who left him. Not even in his own heart and mind. Even if his body could still keep up until the next day without sleep, his spirits had just about neared its limit. If his stubbornness would not acknowledge and act on such suffering prolonging in his system, at least these two do.

“Maybe, I shouldn't have told her everything,” he continued, slowly inching himself out of his chair, with every ounce of smoldering regret inside him puppeting his speech and movement and fueling his brain to look back into the past for any bargain. “If Xinyu-ssi and I weren’t together. If I…didn’t feel… Then, maybe none of this would’ve happened.”

Neither friends made their counters and rebuttals. Only sighs amidst the silence while they kept their watch on him, as his proper posture and hospitable mannerisms failed covering up the sorrow in his dull eyes and hoarse voice.

“You’re tired, Junghoon-ah…” Kotone told him, almost keeping him from standing up from his seat with her hands holding onto his wrists. She knew it’s not the time for her to answer him. “You better give yourself a break tonight. Let your relatives handle this.”

Not in this state of his, anyway. “Yeah, man… You’ve been through enough,” Myungsoo backed the woman beside him, placing his hands behind his right shoulder until he sat down properly. “You still have tomorrow to prepare for. So, take a long rest, arasseo?”

After sending off Kotone and Myungsoo outside the hospital into a taxi, Junghoon was heading back to the funeral hall when he crossed paths with Soomin once again just as she exited the restroom. “Oh, Junghoon-oppa! Did your friends finally head home?”

“They have…” A second initiative was on his mind, prompting him to tell her, “I’ll get fresh clothes at the boarding house,” before she turned around to their funeral room.

She was almost caught off-guard. “Oh… Okay. Then, I’ll tell appa to give you a ride—”

“Gwenchana,” Junghoon reassured her with a soft smile. “I won’t be long, Soomin-ah.”

His answer suddenly made her hair itch. “Are you sure?” And yet, she couldn’t say more, focused more on reading the contrasts in his deadpan facial expressions, elusive words, and persuasive behavior, the latter being something that she couldn’t maneuver at this moment, even if she hoped to make him accept her offer. Soomin had to let him leave and hope for the best.

“Yeah, yeah…” His voice shifted in pitch. As if he was someone who was avoiding getting caught lying to someone. I’ll take the bus… Or a taxi, if there aren’t any at this hour… It’s only a fifteen minute ride, so don’t worry about me.”

A few buses were still around past midnight, crossing the bus stop outside the hospital. Some taxis would drive by, only stopping once a passenger on the sidewalk swung their hands in time. Junghoon took neither. Instead, his passive mind let his legs walk on the sidewalk, walking past the closed markets and sleeping buildings of Seoul, past the folks who were youthful enough to walk to clubs or couples who were still walking home from their night date. The young man didn’t stop on his tracks, ambivalent of all the faces and voices who either took pity on him or murmured right next to their companions, until he finally reached the nearest bridge—where he finally found the absence of any other soul.

He rested his arms on the railing, leveled to his chest. The longer he stared at the river, the darkness of the depths had maintained its calmness along with the autumn current. Without words, it welcomed him in silence. Peaceful, eternal, permanent. Even through his sleeves, the breeze felt welcoming, not enough force to pull him down, but enough to paralyze him. Similarly to the faces who cornered and tore him up in his nightmares, he was stunned by the cold. And yet, at the same moment, his self-preservation punched in through the gulp in his throat and the shivers, making his hair stand up across his body.

Closing his eyes, Junghoon could simply listen and submit to all the intrusions of the darkness. No one would know. No one would have to care, or keep caring for him. No one would find him. Alongside his family, Junghoon would be one with the flow of the wind and water below. No one else was there with him. Beside him. Around him. Only passing vehicles from both lanes, their eyes just minding the road every other minute.

Perhaps, it was all he needed to do. Just a few more exertions from both arms, just like how he would get himself up every workout, his limbs started to tremble as they tensed, the closer his neck reached the edge. Yet, one more look into the darkness drove shivers through his spine, making him despise the cold that was just swooning him. Whether it was by instinct or something else, he kept his fingers on the railing, tightening as he let out a thunderous scream into the autumn air with all his unbridled might, long enough for him to realize how much he had yearned for his own breath once it exited his body.

At the same moment, Junghoon only replayed the reminiscences of the older guests he encountered tonight, both from his neighborhood, as well as those who traveled all the way from Daegu, much like his relatives, or somewhere else he didn’t even expect.

“I don’t know if you know me, but... Your grandmother used to buy from us at the wet market. She and your mother were regulars, so we started lowering the prices on our products when they visit us… But that old lady was too darn generous. She’s an angel, alright.”

“We never took her as the biggest hiker, but Byeolyi-yah was definitely the highlight of our trips. She really knew how to ‘have a good time’? Is that what the kids are saying these days? Yeah? Aniya? Oh well... She's not much to take or keep any pictures we took, but we can give you a couple of copies... I know she'd want that.”

“Oh, yeah... A country bumpkin like me definitely had it rough adjusting to Seoul, Byeolyi-halmeoni helped me move in the boarding house... That was twenty-years ago, but I still remember how much she kept me and the other tenants well-fed every morning and night. Probably more than my wife would nowadays, ha-ha… I hope she did the same thing to you, Junghoon-ssi... And more.”

“You know, you're really lucky to have ahjumma growing up... Especially with what happened to your parents, you had someone who truly cared and looked after you. I asked her why she rarely brought you with her to the shelter, given her age. But she just laughed it off! She just wanted you to live like any normal kid, Junghoon-ssi.”

“Your halmeoni was born and raised in war. She grew up amidst another, and yet, she fought back more than any private or general would. And despite that, she loved your grandfather like a romantic and loved her children like a saint. Out of many people I knew, she's lived the fullest life, my dear... Byeolyi-unnie deserves to have her rest.”

His shattered soul almost gave into the silence, to follow where his loved ones went. However, his mind and body couldn’t. Back in the silence, he parted from the railing and moved along the walkway. Trailing the current of the vehicles beside him, he kept on walking without anything leaving his mouth, save for warm air. Leaving his legs on autopilot with his arms crossed, akin to a zombie, Junghoon didn’t stop until the burst of intermittent horns of passing vehicles dwindled down into near-dead silence, until the roads narrowed into much slimmer, resting streets. Until he finally reached home.

Instead of heading to his own bedroom, he could only take a look around the place that served as his home for about ten years. The memories he had with his late grandmother makes him contemplate his life. How none of his progress and milestones, his state now, would've been possible if it wasn't for her. Her service and sacrifice. It’s no exaggeration for him to believe that she, Kim Byeolyi, saved him from what he thought was a doomed world, also waiting to take him.

He reached her room, yearning for her now impossible presence, traces she had only left in her bed and dusty bookshelf, stacked with over decades of albums and finished books. He could only feel the air traveling in the room while he walked and sat on the chair next to her table, where her sewing materials were still laying. Finding the drawer slightly open, he ended up discovering a white long envelope. It contained a letter, appearing to have been written recently. Perhaps about weeks or months old. All that Junghoon knew was that she wrote it herself, based on the handwriting.

My dear grandson, Junghoon-ie. If you’re reading this, it must be that you finally made it through college, or something must have happened to me. To be honest, I believe I lived longer than I expected. There must’ve been a reason why I stayed longer. You’ve done everything you can for me. If I’m here and you’d somehow find out, I know you’d have a word with me, wondering why I’m still working all day at the shelter when I can just keep going on hikes and trips with the ladies.I can’t help it. For me, it just feels good to help others. I’ve lived life as much as I could. My only regrets were not showing up at your doorstep sooner. When your parents passed, I knew I had to stay there for you. Things just happen, and that’s okay. You’re still young. But I know you’ll find someone who will love you as much as they will. Just like how I found someone as loving as your grandfather. How your parents have found each other. It's crazy, but I dreamt of walking you down the aisle, though I don’t recognize who the lucky lady was. Even if I’m no longer there, I wanna give you something. You’ll also find it inside the drawer. I wanted to give it to you myself, but I suppose you’re gonna find this letter regardless. You’re a bright kid. I know your parents might've been rough, but you deserve to be happy like anyone else.

Rummaging through the drawer, he was able to find a bank account, placed over a blue folder that contained a copy of her will. The paper was signed over seven months ago.

The people at the bank will help you, so don't worry about the transfer too much, okay? Don't forget to reach out to your aunt and uncle too, as well as your cousins. I haven't visited them yet, but Hyungmin and Soomin are all grown up. I'm sure you’ll be thrilled to meet them one day.

I know it’s not too much, but I know you’ll spend it well. Consider it your graduation gift. You’ve grown up and I couldn't be more proud of you. If I am to be reborn in my next life, I can only hope that you’re still my daughter’s son. You’ll always be my grandson. I love you, dear. Your Halmeoni.

Tears have already been dripping from his eyes. Within his chest, heart begins to feel a tug of war between waves of emotions while his mind flashes back to moments he had with her. Of sadness and longing for her now. Overwhelmed by the pressure of his own grief, Junghoon could no longer hold himself back from sobbing. Wounds as grave and devastating as his loss may  take years, decades or perhaps a lifetime, to recover before they heal, but this letter had given him a sense of closure.

=

As six hours passed, the last day of the funeral came through. Despite having dozed off inside his grandmother’s bedroom, Junghoon took a taxi cab to the hospital, reaching the funeral hall before sunrise, ensuring he didn’t worry his relatives. Unfortunately, Soomin and Hyungmin were the first ones to notice his long absence.

Not to mention the fact that Kotone, Myungsoo, and Seoyeon arrived at the hospital at the same time as he did. Yet, despite this timing, his closest friends did not say a word. The three simply gave him a somber expression and gentle taps on his back, following his path back to the room as he met up with the Kims in front of the altar as he would begin his bows for the morning right after them. Seoyeon had to leave for work fifteen minutes after her visit, but she left him with words that elevated his heartbeat, leaving even his other friends just as emotionally vulnerable with how it resonated with them. “You may have apologized for ignoring us at your worst, but never apologize again for whatever’s happening in your life, Junghoon… We’re here now. We’ll always be here.”

Myungsoo tightened the embrace between the four of them, allowing Junghoon to muffle and continue his sobbing through his confidantes. Unlike his revelation last night, he’s well reminded that he was never alone in dealing with this familial loss.

In the hours leading to lunch, other new guests familiar to Junghoon have entered the funeral hall. Kim Yooyeon, Myungsoo’s girlfriend, as well as her friends within the same club: Mayu, Jiwoo, Chaeyeon, and Nakyoung. They weren’t close, but they paid respects with their black attires and envelopes of money, which Soomin collected after greeting them. From a distance, Myungsoo was seated right next to Yooyeon alongside the rest on their table, Junghoon took this opportunity to have a moment with Kotone, who chose to take a sip of her late morning coffee and get some fresh air at the hospital balcony, only seven other rooms away from theirs.

“Something on your mind?” With a humble smile, the woman didn’t hesitate to shoot the first question from his arrival.

“I, um, I owe you an apology, Tone,” he confessed, slowly cracking his knuckle joints. “Especially with what I said about… Him.” She already knew who he was referring to.

With eyes closed, she shook her head. “Gwenchana, Junghoon-ah. I overreacted.”

“But you didn’t,” he shot back. “I was a complete ass when you were just trying to help. You didn't deserve that.” Especially from someone she knew for half a decade.

Kotone chuckled. “Well… Apology accepted. There, don’t worry about it too much.”

Her tone came off as dismissive and a little awkward, but he appreciated her intention to enliven the melancholic atmosphere of the hospital balcony. “Okay, then...” he snickered by instinct. “That’s that.”

“You know, you’re the only one who knows about it…” Since freshman year. “Aside from Mayu-unnie and Chaeyeon-ah, of course, but they’ve kept her lips sealed about it. When it matters the most, anyway.”

“I haven’t told a soul about it… Halmeoni told me you two look good together, though.”

“Oh, come on,” Her laughter grew, albeit still contained. “Don’t do that to me.”

“I swear that’s what she told me,” he doubled down, raising his hand like it’s a pledge.

The woman calmed down, still smiling. “Well, she’s always been a fun tease… But I appreciate that. Even if things are different, halmeoni knew how to cheer someone up.”

Silence ensued, allowing the two to contemplate their present without any distractions.

“And besides, I don’t wanna just date or sleep around… What you had with Xinyu-unnie, it was really something special, you know?”

“It was… Maybe she’s dealt with something that’s out of control, too…” he sighed with some acceptance. “Why she left. After all, I was just extremely lucky to win her heart.”

“You weren’t just lucky,” she shot back irritated, as if he said something factually wrong. “You’re a good guy, Junghoon. She just saw it in you... That goodness you have.”

“So are you, Tone-chan,” he tried to counter Kotone’s own compliments back to her. “If only Myungsoo-hyung—”

She looked down. “I appreciate that, but to be honest, I’d rather focus on me right now.”

“Oh, yeah…” He slowly nodded pursing his lips,with a sense of optimism. “And so will I.”

Kotone’s smile widened. The second wave of silence, giving her one moment to sip her coffee. Junghoon looked into the city ahead of them, still as lively and noisy, compared to the mood around here. The skies have gotten cloudier and darker as seconds passed.

“After my parents were gone, my grandmother’s probably the best person I know,” he confessed. “She still is, I just never got to admit it… Not to anyone... Not even to her.”

“I wouldn't argue with you…” She nodded with a close smile, shaking his hand softly. “She cared about you so much. I honestly don’t think she needed to hear you say it, ‘cause You’ve done everything you could for her. With her. That’s what mattered.”

“I still should’ve,” he insisted, keeping his gaze at the dark skies, but her words had already reached into his heart. It made him look down to his hand still held by her.

With how much his heart has gone through, Kotone knew she couldn't say anything to change his mind. “Well, you know what? Just like what Seoyeon-unnie said, we’re still gonna be here with you, much like she always had. Much like you have been with us.”

He took deeper breaths, embracing his bittersweet reality while also bracing himself for the uncertainty of their futures. He then looked at his best friend, with an outlook more hopeful than before. “I couldn’t be more thankful for that, Kotone-chan. For all of you.”

“We still have a year to go, buddy…” she reminded him, tightening her grip on his hand while weakly tapping it on the railing. “But I know we’ll make it. Together, arasseo?”

He exhaled with heartfelt reassurance, his smile mirroring hers. “Together, then.”

That same moment, they saw Soomin walking to them with a good-natured smile. “Soomin-ah… What brings you here?”

“Oppa. Hey, Kotone-unnie… Someone you know is here. I mean, they’re a new visitor.”

It could've been anyone. Maybe it was Professor Jeong, although he already paid his visit on the first day, unless he was paying another visit. Perhaps another professor or classmate he wasn’t too close with. Instead of asking for their name, he only knew he had to meet them himself. “Oh, okay. I’ll head there right away. Gomawo, Soomin-ah.”

Junghoon and Kotone headed back to the funeral hall, stopping by the altar. A woman with short hair, as short as any man he would’ve encountered, had gotten up from the floor after bowing in front of the altar and his relatives. And yet, just by looking at her teary-eyed face, the small moles on her nose and face, he immediately recognized her. That vulnerability she was eager to hide from anyone but her friends. “Junghoon-ah.”

He almost lost his breath, letting a croak in his voice as he called her. “Sohyun-noona.”

The old friends didn’t hesitate to embrace, sharing their warm grief this afternoon. Some guests were confused, mistaking them for either a couple, but Myungsoo and Kotone, as well as the Diamond Dreamers, couldn't help but smile at this moment.

As soon as they calmed down on vacant chairs, Junghoon handed Sohyun a warm cup of coffee, to her appreciation. “You cut your hair, huh?” he asked.

The woman’s lips widened into a smile just as she took a long sip. “Mmm-hmm….”

“Looks good on you,” he confessed without an ounce of embarrassment. “Gives you that Park Ssaem brand you've always been building up.”

Her appreciation emanated through her soft and reserved chuckle. “I’m not there yet. I still have a semester left before I can get a master's degree.”

“Chukahaeyo,” he cheered her up. “In advance, I mean, but you know… It’s certain.”

 Letting a second chuckle, she softly threw her knuckle on his shoulder. “Gomawo.”

“And your Korean still sounds pretty good,” he encouraged further.

As usual, she felt teased and flattered, but mostly fulfilled by this heart to heart. “It’s only been a year, but I'm glad I haven't lost my touch… Haven’t forgotten my roots.”

Junghoon looked up to the ceiling. “As I have promised, we haven’t lost ours, either…”

Their club immediately entered her mind, making her beam, but the follow-up thought made her exhale an uneasy hiss from her lips. “Except for one.”

And there it was. The elephant in the room. It was bound to be brought up. “Yeah…”

“I didn’t know Xinyu-yah would do that…” Her tone shifted into sorrow. “Leave you.”

“Me neither…” He could've said more. It could’ve been that moment. “None of us did.”

“Well, as much as it sucks to hear her leave abroad, I couldn't blame her,” she admitted. “Even then, she’s not one to tell anything about her family… Not all the time, anyways… As of now, we can only wish the best for her.”

“Indeed,” he hummed without a hint of disagreement.

Junghoon didn’t expect to hear that observation from Sohyun, although it made sense, considering he was always a third wheel between them. And yet, recalling the openness she had during their time together only perplexed him, despite how secretive they were. He understood that Sohyun didn’t have much to say about the matter, given how similar Xinyu’s situation was with her own. They simply just let bygones be bygones, and rather than unveil what he and Xinyu had, Junghoon had Sohyun lead their conversations over lunch. It wouldn't do any good at this moment. Not when one heartbreaking news in his life was already enough to make her come here. This was already a reunion he expected wouldn't happen. Setting the obligation of truth aside, he already lost someone dear to him. Why risk losing a friend? He would rather make the most of it with his friends, as selfish as it seemed to be, no matter how brief it might be.

Without paying attention to the clock, their talk lasted for almost half an hour, leaving a sigh of content from Junghoon as they slowly caught up. “So… When are you leaving?”

Sohyun scoffed. “You want me to go home that bad? After paying respects to halmeoni?”

“The opposite, actually. I, uh, we just know how busy you’ve been at your university.”

“I’m leaving Tuesday morning,” she informed him. “Like early morning. Classes won't be ‘till Wednesday, but my parents agreed it’d be productive for me to revisit some old friends, so I might as well take the chance.”

Junghoon nodded, but his thoughts began to flow with more concrete ideas now that she’s back for the time being. “So, you have about three days here, huh?”

“Yup…” She turned to him, playfully suspicious of his affirmative silence. “Why?”

He couldn’t help but chuckle, now that he’s been caught by her. “I was just hoping you could spend time with the club once again. Finally meet our newbies in person.”

Sohyun nudged his shoulder. “Seems you already have an itinerary planned out for me.”

“Just an outline or so…” he shrugged, accepting his cluelessness with his deadpan tone. “Everyone else will lose their minds once they see you again.”

“Oh, I’m counting on that…” Within moments, her playful tone descended into a more somber one, reminded of the larger reason of why she flew here in the first place. “But, still… Take your time, Junghoon-ah.” Holding in her tears with her bittersweet smile, Sohyun placed her hand on his stiff shoulder, giving her fingers a soft clench on him.

Junghoon himself also started feeling his eyes water, but kept his smile as well, having also been washed over by a plethora of clashing emotions. “I will… Gomawo, noona.”

After getting herself acquainted with some of her former collegemates, Sohyun left for her hotel by two o’clock in the afternoon. She could have asked and talked more about Junghoon’s grandmother before her passing, but they only brought up a few stories he had heard from her old friends and acquaintances. She knew it would be a better, more honest and respectful way of remembering the late woman. As the day went on with the clouds dimming, more and more guests bid their goodbyes and left the hall.

Junghoon stayed inside the hall with his relatives until his grandmother was cremated. Kotone and Myungsoo left at the same hour, after everyone was packing up by four. An hour before sunset, the Kim family paid their fees, before driving from the hospital to a columbarium at a cemetery in Dongjak-gu, where the urn containing the ashes of Kim Byeolyi were finally placed on her niche.

The process was silent, but it was a necessary one, so she could have her final peaceful rest and departure from this earthly plane.

In the Kim family’s minivan, Junghoon was driven back home, arriving by seven-thirty. Taking the same route, the same road his legs took him. Back to the boarding house. A sigh left his breath, unable to interpret his own emotions, aside from the numbness he had been carrying. The residence had an outdoor garage which remained unused, next to a large gate that remained unopened in the last ten years. Until tonight.

Even after the funeral, Junghoon was left with more questions about his grandmother and to an extent, his own family. Some of which he’ll most likely never get the answers to. Perhaps, certain mysteries were best left unanswered. With this mindset, Junghoon slowly moved on with his life on his own terms, for the most part. He made a deal with his aunt and uncle, he would keep living inside this place until he graduated, but there was no rush, as his uncle had insisted.

“You’re always welcome to stay with us, Junghoon-ah,” his aunt held his cold hands with a compassionate yet determined expression. Junghoon could only smile at her warm offer, the same way Soomin did the night earlier.

“I know we’re still here, but don’t hesitate to call any of us, okay?” His uncle patted him on his left shoulder. “We want to help you, especially once you’re gonna start looking for a job, or go to graduate school, if you want.”

“Appa, you don’t have to pressure him,” Hyungmin reprimanded his father, although it’s him who seemed to be more annoyed by his advice. “Junghoon will figure out what he’s gonna do after graduation. Which won’t be until the next two years.”

The older man held his hands up. “I’m just trying to lay out some suggestions, son.”

Hyungmin only sneered, while Soomin cackled and gave light smacks on his shoulder. While sitting on the living room couch, she simply gave a proud and wistful look at Junghoon while he continued giving a brief inspection of the first floor to her parents.

“Thank you, aunt and uncle... Soomin-ah and Hyungmin-hyung,” he bowed to each of them. In actuality, they’re about to stay for the night until tomorrow, but he could not help but give them the same welcoming gesture they had to him in the past five days. “Make yourselves at home, yeoreobun.”

Outside, drops of water began to land from the roof down to the concrete road, creating small puddles with its rapid succession. In a minute, the ensemble of droplets would be followed by the orchestra of rain, crashing from the black sky down the neighborhood.

[II.] That First Farewell

Tags: fluff, smut, (slight) angst, alcohol

a/n: yeah, the new tags say it all. glad you've reached this far into the fic, whether you've skimmed, skipped, or somehow read through all of it. anyhoo, thank you and I hope you also like the rest of the story.

= = =

As the year 2025 arrived, the chilling breeze settled down within six to seven months.

After Xinyu left and his grandmother departed, Junghoon did his best to stay with the Mad Money Club. But like him and everybody else, things would drift apart, time after time. Sohyun has adjusted to her new life in Paris a lot better after spending three days with the club last October, although she remained uncertain about when she would get another chance to fly black to Korea as soon as she graduated. Aside from finishing her studies, she was able to do some digging on a certain someone since she couldn’t help it.

“My friend’s cousin was a media scoring freshman in Berklee, but they’ve seen her. She seems to get along with her new class... At least, she’s adjusted better than I expected.”

She had new socials, shorter hair and an English name, but the same personality. Much like the rest of the Mad Money Club, Junghoon was the first one among them to set this finding aside, no matter how much it made his gut wrenched and sped up his heartbeat. Given her “clean slate,” it seemed that none of them had any business with Zhou Xinyu.

As Seoyeon had reached the final semester of senior year, she extended her internship at ModHaus, soon to rise up as a full-time employee. Dahyun, on the other hand, got her hands more full dealing with her singers’ club. They’ve gained more performances on campus events ever since they gained praise and more traction at last year's festival. 

By March, Yubin spent more time with her friends from the Diamond Dreamers, but was also able to make herself a delighted and committed girlfriend, finally saying yes to Yeonghwan’s months-long courtship. Since April, Kaede and Hyerin had been spending more of their vacant time as new dedicated members of the Seoul State Dragons Dance Club. By the end of May, Seoyeon and Nien were already on the clear and smooth road to graduation. As the club started having fewer meetings, everyone moved on as it was.

Ever since Mad Money has gone inactive, Junghoon spent his junior year volunteering in his department’s student council, without any affiliation or connections with his old club. His brand new affiliation to such an integral and arduous council made it almost impossible for him to join other clubs in his first semester as a senior. For once in his life, he made his own decision, yet he hasn’t forgotten everything he learned from his dear club mates. Aside from his experience, it’s one of the main reasons he was easily accepted by the upperclassmen in the council during his first application.

He learned to be content through the simplest of gestures and positive outlooks and that has gotten him more respect from others. Dressing whatever he wanted to wear, without feeling too self-conscious. Despite choosing to be alone at times, he would get to spend those moments improving himself, physically and mentally. He would mostly focus on his studies, as usual, but he would add a new array of new hobbies and interests, even when he still works in shifts from time to time. And yet, during his free time, he has yet to go to the gym, considering he did not have the budget to afford subscriptions, but he still had the home and school field advantage: the nearest parks and the campus field.

On campus and at work, the man kept himself as busy as he could, but not to the point of alienating himself like before. He made himself reach out and connect with new faces, akin to his usual roles and responsibilities as a part-time worker, much less like a chore. At least, his objective in the final week of May had shown him the social benefits of it.

Helping organize the farewell parties for the Graduates of 2025 has become one of his first big projects as a new member of the council. It was a Friday night when he and his new fellow members went with their seniors to host their send-off party. While he didn’t have the same closeness he had with his newfound friends compared to his close friends, he's more than enthusiastic to take his time getting to know some of his own juniors and batchmates. The venue was a usual samgyupsal restaurant, which Junghoon had helped rent for the night, thanks to his extensive experiences as an continual underpaid worker.

“This is just… Daebak! Can’t believe you made the hardest carry, Junghoon-ah!”

“No problem, Hwihyeon-sunbae. It’s the least we hoobaes can do for all of you.”

“The least?” she gave a light smack on his shoulder, before looking at the growing crowd of seniors at the whole restaurant. “Come on, you’ve made the most effort in getting us a great place. You’ve done a lot more tonight than when you’re still with us last semester.”

“Believe it or not, I’ve learned to do a lot of this during my service with the Thespians.”

She inched her head backwards and chuckled, flattered and in disbelief. “Really, huh..? Well, I’m glad you didn’t forget us, Junghoon-ah... I hope you won’t after next month.”

“I don’t think there’s any way I would, sunbae…” he admitted. “Congrats on graduating.”

As soon as Hwihyeon parted ways with Junghoon, Yeonghwan sneaked behind him as he handed him a blue plastic packet right on his palm. In an instant, he inspected the item he received. He immediately panicked, hiding it inside his pocket with shame.

“Yah, Yeonghwan-hyung, what the heck!” he exclaimed. “Why are you giving me this?”

“Don’t need to tense up. What else do you use that for?” he shot back with unbridled laughter, although Junghoon was far from amused, not after just having a small talk with a woman he respected. “I was hoping I’d give it to you earlier.”

“Why?” Taking a step back, Junghoon raised an eyebrow before taking a sip of his bottle.

With a soft grunt, his eyes squinted. “Do I have to spell it out for you? Were her flirty eyes and touchy hands not telling enough for you?”

“Her—oh… No, I just used to work with Hwihyeon-sunbae at the Thespians’ Society.”

“The theater kids? Oh, yeah! I forgot you used to help out with their plays... Mianhae.”

“She’s older than you,” he jabbed back. “And don’t you want to use this yourself instead? You’re the one who has a girlfriend!” he whispered to him, even though the whole venue was already littered with everyone else’s noises of laughter and chattering on each table.

“We’re seeing a movie at her place tonight... Nothing more,” he shook his head while his lips formed a smile of excitement, before tapping his shoulder. “And you’ve rarely gotten out there ever since your club stopped meeting up... If anyone should have it, it's yours.”

“No, hyung,” he objected, calmed down over his friend’s hyperactive and emboldening demeanor. “I’m here to help you, seniors, party. I’m not here to hook up with anyone.”

“Michyeosseo? You’ve done all of that tonight! You’ve done everything with your fellow council. You rented the whole damn place. Collected their payments, you’ve covered—”

“Myungsoo-hyung’s the treasurer and Tone-chan's the new auditor,” he corrected him, making himself sterner. “You know that.” Most folks would see Junghoon as a killjoy and only end up focusing their interest amping someone else up, but Yeonghwan wasn’t going to back down that easily.

“I know, but you also volunteered to take his job this year because we’re all graduating!”

“Touché… But I chose to do that, because I don’t mind helping you guys out.”

“You also bought all the seniors their parting gifts! You’ve done so much for this send-off the whole month. What more could they ask of you? And as one of your sunbaes, I know I am not asking you to do anything, because you’ve done it all.”

“Gomawoyo,” he shrugged. “The others also said I’ve done a good job so far. Maybe that’s enough for me that tonight is turning out well.”

“Come on, Junghoon-ah. Live a little,” he pats him in the shoulder. “Do something that you want. You never know what you’ll miss tonight. If you don’t wanna use it—keep it in your wallet. I heard it brings you luck in some cultures or something.” Sensing the buzz in his pocket, Yeonghwan checked his phone. His lips quickly form a smile, before looking up at Junghoon. “And that’s my queue, me and Yubin-ah are heading out.”

“Take care, you two,” he waved at his friend as the latter walked to the other side of the venue, to which he could simply sigh. “I still don’t know how Yubin-ah manages to say yes to that guy,” he snickered, nevertheless hopeful towards his two friends being able to make it work even at the end of the academic year.

Little was he aware, his friend’s right about his last reminder. Not long after their talk, Junghoon managed to stumble upon one of his friends from the club. Up until tonight, her presence still enthralled him since they first met, as they crossed paths once more. Someone who looked straight out of an anime, her hair has been dyed pinkish purple, unlike her original darker hair, yet her visuals still blew him away until now.

“Nien-ssi…” Junghoon stumbled upon her at her table while her friends were outside. She was on her phone, but her face immediately made him freeze on the spot, it made him bump into someone, “Joesonghamnida,” and immediately bowed. Thankfully, he only received an apologetic gesture from the upperclassman before he kept walking to the other side of the restaurant.

“Junghoon-ah,” a wide and warm smile slowly formed on her face, keeping herself from giggling at his slight inaction. “Glad to see you’re doing well… Mind if you sit down?”

“Oh, sure. Thanks,” he took a little sip, before walking towards the seat in front of her. Despite the feeling of exhilaration flowing through his bloodstream, alongside alcohol, the next eight minutes had Junghoon keeping himself on low alert when Nien’s friends would be returning to the table, but she kept the conversation going. And before any of them realized it, about thirty minutes had passed. Nien let out a giggle as she had seen the messages on her phone to find out they had gone their separate ways, unable to go through another round of stuffing themselves with both delectable meat or drinks.

Without expressing infuriation, she unabashedly spilled the tea about her friends being the ones who suggested they do more than mingling with men of their taste by midnight, only to give up more than halfway. After exchanging a burst of laughter and reassurance from each other, these old friends had the whole table for themselves alone, and neither had taken their gaze nor attention away from each other for the rest of the night.

“I was really hoping Seoyeon and Dahyun-noona would be coming tonight, but I get why they still have priorities. Plus, graduation won’t be until next week,” Junghoon deduced based on his limited connections with them. Nien nodded while sipping her glass.

“Yeah, well, Seoyeon-ah’s becoming a lot more addicted to her work than anyone with alcohol nowadays.” She tutted. “That's on her. Soda has a party with her own club, but I’m sure you knew that.”

Aside from the absence of the club or the friends who ditched earlier than thought, even the sight of Nien not being alongside her boyfriend, one he hasn’t interacted with more than five times, instinctively kept him alert that he would tap his fingers on the table.

Junghoon took this moment to scan the restaurant. “By the way, I haven't seen Kyumin-sunbae like anywhere tonight. Was he not with you on the way here?”

“Aniya,” Her answer had suddenly become thriftier and yet much more nonchalant with her cadence, prompting him to be more cautious about his next words. “Not in a while.”

He shifted his eyes away from her, looking at the crowd in front of him before he could move his lips. “So, you two…”

“Broke up?” Junghoon’s gaze slowly darted back to Nien while she answered. She didn't look too dejected or sound too dismissive about it. Rather, the aura of awkwardness was mostly radiating out of Junghoon. “Yeah, we have.”

He wasn’t as close with her in the last six months, yet hearing such a bumming news dwindled down his enthusiasm, must like she seemed. “I, uh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Don’t be,” she quickly assured him, exhaling through her nose with a soft smirk. “It’s just how these things happen... He and I are both seniors, and by the time graduation was lurking around the corner, we were already looking forward to different things.”

Melancholy swept their atmosphere, but it was also that moment when Junghoon would consider Yeonghwan’s point. Besides having less and less pressure on his shoulders, he’s done everything he could to help set this event up. It’s not a festival, a play or concert. It was an informal party. A fun, casual gathering. There was no reason he couldn’t spend a little more time with a friend who he didn't want to leave alone.

Each minute, they would cheer and clink their glass and bottle with the rest of the crowd whenever an upperclassman amped up the whole venue, but it didn’t stop the rhythm of their talk, having only stopped when Junghoon asked the waiter for more side dishes for Nien to munch on. He claimed it was his “responsibility as her hoobae,” but rather than turn down his gesture, she simply chuckled it off, unaware of her reddening cheeks. In retaliation, she had to teasingly hover a piece of pajeon in front of him until he took her bait. By the last second, she inched her index finger forward, making his teeth touch it. Nien had a hearty laugh before finally feeding him, which caught Junghoon off-guard, not that he didn't like her surprise. Her shameless mischief and playfulness gave him a certain window into their past, as well as what could’ve been following those moments.

“You know the rest of the club misses you too,” the woman playfully shoved his shoulder with her half-empty glass of beer. “You haven’t been staying in touch with them lately.”

“They said that?” He felt bad while chewing, remembering the club that practically saved him from the despair of the mundane. “But everyone’s been AWOL since the semester started… Can’t blame everyone. It’s just, you know?” He didn’t want to kill the mood with his wistful remark. “It’s been a busy four months.” But that’s just how it was.

She let out a weak giggle. “That doesn’t mean we’re completely ghosting each other. We still chat sometimes, and man, you have no idea just how often Soda and Hyebam were talking about you since you joined the council. And I know you’re still close with Yubin because she’s dating Yeonghwan-ah. But don’t worry about them.”

A small tinge of guilt mixed with a wave of relief and anticipation flowed through him. “Why not?”

“It’s because you still have another year to hang out with them. On the same campus,” she pointed out. “And you know, meet new faces. Just like you did with us last time.”

Nien’s words gave him some sense of hope, yet it also made him curious about her, as she’s leaving college with flying colors. “You got any plans? After graduation, I mean.”

“Hmm, I don’t know yet,” she shrugged, although such a realistic question made her lean into her hand. “I do have a few companies that I am considering applying for but I’m not too sure since I also got recommendations from my professors. But, eh… I don't wanna overthink it just yet.” She then gulped down the remainder of her glass.

“I mean, look at your credentials!” he cheered Nien on, making her grin with how he can still keep up a positive outlook. “The countless amazing accomplishments you’ve done in your extracurriculars... Wherever you’ll end up, I’m sure you’ll do just fine, if not great.”

“Gomawo… That’s kind of assuring, not gonna lie. Now, I just wanna enjoy my last week as a college student. There’s a lot of things I’ll miss in here once I get my diploma.”

Bittersweet, but an undeniable truth for a senior like her. “Fair enough. The night is still young, after all… But just for good measure, I just wanna say congratulations, Nien-ssi.”

The night was still young indeed. The clock had reached eleven thirteen. It was just the two of them outside the restaurant. Half of the seniors and juniors inside the restaurant have since gone their separate ways, saving their tears for graduation if they still weren’t drunk enough to let them out with their emotions. Nien stared at her empty glass, where she noticed Junghoon’s reflection. So much has changed, yet a lot has stayed the same. “Hey, Junghoon-ah…”

“Yes, Nien-ssi?” He just finished down the remaining ounce of beer on his bottle.

She placed her right elbow on the table, where her right cheek rested on her knuckle as she kept her gaze at him. “I know it's already late, but do you wanna go outside? Sober up for a bit… Unless you still have to stay with the council—”

“Aniya, aniya,” he informed her, frantically waving his hands. “They’re not that strict. And everything’s been paid too, so...”

Taking their bags, Nien’s handbag and Junghoon’s crossbody bag, and saying their farewells to the council, they took a walk to the night market two blocks away, where they awed at the mouthwatering supply of fresh or fried food and snacks being cooked and served by stalls of hardworking and accommodating vendors making a living in the midst of the warm April spring. While Junghoon became fascinated by the abundance of food and activeness of customers, Nien remained beside him, keeping her arms crossed with a reserved grin, expectant of his culinary inquisitiveness.

“Do you still remember that time, after our only date?” she brought up out of the sudden.

“Oh yeah.” Despite it being over a year ago, Junghoon remembered the moment she was referring to. By instinct, he cringed his teeth and slowly scratched his head out of shame. “Sorry, I never got to treat you to lunch… Damn, how could have I forgotten about that?”

“Yah… What are you apologizing for? We’re having it right now!” She raised her voice along the buzzing crowd, both amused and perplexed by his sudden expression.

 “Ooooooh…” His mouth opened up, realizing why they ended up going here. “Majayo.” This was a moment his subconscious had been longing to revisit and improve long ago.

“You get me? Just make up for your sunbae, will you?” she joked, even though Junghoon remembering their past ventures or not was the least of her worries.

“Ne!” Junghoon immediately played along with a wide smile, making her laugh. For the remaining hour, the pair would spend their time sobering up by treating each other with late night snacks, even though the practice is a misconception. Nevertheless, what really mattered was that their wander would be spent by making up for lost time in the last six months of distance.

They looked around the diverse stalls, inspecting the first target to catch their appetites as nearby vendors reeled them in. “They, uh, don’t have broccoli here,” he teased Nien.

“Yah,” she gave his arm a flick from her fingers, making him yelp and laugh at her act. “As much as I worship broccoli, I wouldn't miss out on all these snacks, you know?”

“Then I’m sure you'd like to have some of those fresh fruits first?” he suggested while rubbing the reddest spot on his shoulder.

Nien placed her palm on the spot, giving it a quick yet soft rub. “Mianhae… But I’d love some,” her smile widened at his first invitation before walking to their first purchase of the night, relishing on their sweet and juicy assorted cups of sliced melon, mango, and pineapple for an affordable price.

Knowing that their dinner at the restaurant was mostly full platters of grilled meat and glasses of alcohol, the type of street food they’ve chosen to buy, eat, and drink were light and even vegetarian. Each of them bought a few pieces of dalgona, Nien even challenged him to do the old Squid Game challenge that everyone used to craze over. Within fifteen seconds of genuine concentration, he lost to the triangle before she could complete her star-shaped candy, but at least they both had fun arguing about the ending of the series. 

Afterwards, they also munched on some mattang or deep fried sweet potatoes. On their last stop, they each had a cup of sikhye tonight and thankfully, they decided to stop their midnight munchies before their stomachs could rumble and warn them.

As there was no more food or any more containers to hold after their feast, Junghoon kept his hands behind his back, trying to keep his composure before he could rebreak the silence between them. “So… Was this night enough to make up for things?”

“I said lunch back then, right?” A mischievous Nien didn’t wanna give a straight answer. “But this should suffice. I’m not hungry or too full. Just at the optimal level, you know?”

The man nodded and rubbed his chin with a straight face, like some kind of philosopher. “I’ll take that into consideration. Hope you fill in my survey form,” he told her boldly.

She raised an eyebrow, slowly opening her mouth with a hidden smile. “Survey form?”

“If I end up passing your standards, then maybe I can take you out on an actual lunch.”

“Geum Junghoon-ah!” His suave delivery made her cackle, smacking his shoulder due to his smooth and strangely persuasive line. “But, seriously… Tonight was pretty fun.”

He looked down, avoiding her playful gaze for a second. “I’m glad you feel the same.”

Aside from a barrage of fluttering on her chest, curiosity about this young man swarmed Nien’s mind about what had felt new to her. “Have you done this with someone before?”

He didn’t know why, but such a question made him hide his own smile. “What exactly?”

“You seem like you’ve gained some decent dating experience last semester,” she guessed.

His eyes widened, releasing a nervous chuckle. “And what makes you think of that?”

He didn’t deny it, and that was enough for her to press him on. “You’ve been particularly secretive. The girls rarely had a clue what you were up to unless we’re inside our room.”

“Oh, that? Yeah, mianhae… I just remember things have gotten rockier from that point.”

“It’s not a problem. I was just being curious, that’s all.” Major concern was also a factor.

He didn’t know how else to deal with her question, but he had his reasons during the time. “After the festival, I wanted to spend more time with you and the club. But with juggling between classes and my shifts, I don’t think I could’ve planned myself out of all that... Still, I got through it. Working just two gigs helped a lot, and I got to spend more time for myself, outside everything else.” And yet, recalling everything that happened to him was something he was comfortable with telling anyone, not even to the ones he told.

“Going through those must’ve been rough, but it’s nice to hear you weren’t entirely miserable when we were worried about you... I’d say you did pretty well yourself.”

“Well, thanks… And to answer you, I haven’t gotten much time to go on dates. But you could say that I’ve met a couple of people because my friends insisted.” His pitch went higher for a second as he confessed. “They weren't serious, but they were something.”

“Ah.” Her humming sounded suspicious. “Never took you for a player, Junghoon-ah.”

He subconsciously took a few steps away from her. “Oh, that’s not what I was doing.”

She leaned closer, bumping her shoulder onto his. “Hey, hey, now. Defensive much?”

He squinted his eyes, but her gesture made him feel at ease. “Just being honest.”

“I honestly thought you would have been exploring your options after me,” the woman confessed. “Especially with your latest makeover and with how many stunning women were in the student council, I kinda thought you’d mingle with some of them a little.”

He just realized she already noticed his slightly fitter physique, but her assumption gave him two clashing impressions: compliment and flattery. “Hmm, you think easy of me?”

“No, I’m just testing you.” Despite Nien’s pestering, he has never found her insulting. After all, she had always been charming to him. Every word. Every joke. Every touch.

“I was with y’all, so I don’t think that should be a problem for me. I was raised by a wise woman. I spent a good time of the semester with women. No scandals, no feelings aside from some old-fashioned friendship…” He was stunned by his own words, reminded by someone he was hoping to forget. “No complications.”

Her perkiness cooled into a bittersweet smile. She was there on the second night of the funeral, but she barely talked to him then, regrettably so. “Then she raised you well…”

He hummed in some agreement before making the move to ask her. “How about you? Are you just gonna continue figuring yourself out now that you’re single again?”

She stared at him, blissful and intrigued at this realization. “You remember that?”

“It wasn’t that long ago, but yeah…” Junghoon pursed his smiling lips. “I thought it was a nice and simple way of moving on. I don’t think everything has to have baggage.”

She polished her hair, moving some behind her ear. Their walking slowed down the less people were around. “That’s true. Tonight, I’m just through with friends who would just ditch you one day... And no more wasting my time with red flags or cheaters.”

Hearing her take a jab at those two kinds of people immediately reminded him of a certain person, at least in the former. But that’s none of his business. Neither of their pasts should matter as of this moment. They were far from inebriated, but they didn’t need more drama to grieve or wallow over at this point. They’ve been through so much.

“But I wouldn't mind if it’s something chill and laid-back.” Nien let out a sigh of relief, slowly inching closer beside him. “Like now.” Shoulder to shoulder. Warming up their clothes against the cool spring breeze. She placed her palm slowly next to his, releasing warmth through this small yet spine-chilling act of touch. It was a spark that never left.

Dugeun. Dugeun. The same rhythm began to grow louder in his ears, the same ears that would redden on her ears while they stared at each other. “Agreed… Like now.” His gulp didn’t bother him, only the prolonging inaction that contrasted the build-up inside him.

Invisible magnets were surrounding them, making their emotions transparent as they looked deeply into each other’s eyes, lips, and overall faces. Gently, Junghoon closed his eyes and leaned into her lips first, no longer restrained by his introverted hesitations, only to part after a split second, waiting for the woman’s response. Within the window of three seconds, he was willing to get slapped if he got mixed signals, turned down, or just blamed it on the alcohol. Instead, Nien’s eyes began to sparkle from his vision as soon as she pulled him back and deepened their sweet moment, wrapping her arms around his neck and tiptoeing for a better reach so she could relish his lips longer while he lowered his head feeling the hunger in her weight. Their heads turned in the opposite direction.

He didn't know he could feel something like this again, but it’s here, reciprocated by her.

The feeling it yielded on both parties was the opposite of chill, as they were just hoping. Something dormant within their system was reignited like a furnace, burning hotter and brighter than their previous encounter. Something much more real. “What’s this?”

“Something I probably should’ve done before,” he puffed, feeling the adrenaline in him.

“Now is fine,” she assured with eyes half-shut, unable to hold in her sudden excitement.

And yet, this burning sensation was something they kept longing for. While stuck in their breathless smiles and chuckles, Nien tiptoed and leaned in for another session, allowing Junghoon to hold onto her waist with one hand so they could lock lips with more balance, his other hand sliding up to her long pink hair, giving it a slow stroke. A mixture of lust and longing made him deepen their passionate session, triggering a yelp of exuberance from the woman. Their lips kept smacking in the silent air, allowing them to taste the sweetness of various fruits, savoriness of grilled meat, and bitterness of beer and soju while time slowed down in their senses.

However, the moment Nien’s tongue slid into his mouth, Junghoon parted their lips out of surprise, leaving a string of saliva between them, as their heads rested on each other and caught their breaths. “Mianhae, Nien-ssi…” Regardless of his desire for more, he realized this was more than a sweet kiss. “I know it’s already late, but, do you—”

“Wanna go somewhere else?” Placing her right palm on his left cheek, she read his next words like a cliché passage in a book. From their lips to their next steps, they’re in sync.

“Yeah,” he chuckled with her, a sense of relief balancing their tension for each other.

They fled through the blistering streets of Seoul, but considering that neither of them wanted to go home yet, they followed their carnal yearning and made another choice, one they definitely would not have made if they met in a situation like this a year ago.

“One room please,” Junghoon tells the motel receptionist. After hearing the price, he pulls out his wallet to pay for their stay in cash, but Nien stops him, pointing out that he’s paid enough for tonight. After a few moments of negotiation, they paid together, though Junghoon still offered to pay a little more, which she didn’t bother declining, since it would only prolong their stay at the lobby. After an elevator ride to the next floor, they entered Room 213.

At first, they didn’t know what to make of this decision. But as of now, they prefer this place over their homes. In their minds, it’s better to stay together somewhere else than not be together at all. Since the kiss, it only felt right. Junghoon opened the lights, where they took turns to wash in the bathroom. After ten minutes, Nien made the suggestion that they turn most lights off, since they were too bright. He left a few on, mostly the dimmer lights. As she turned on the lamp next to the queen-sized bed, both of them were beyond tempted to look at nowhere else and nothing else, but each other.

And as they say, one thing led to another. Both of them took a moment to stare at each other once again. Of course, one might always argue that alcohol might have played its part in dwindling down the awkward atmosphere and silence between them, but it’s not just that. For Junghoon and Nien, they were more than sober enough to know there is something else they’re both feeling for each other now. A feeling neither of them once thought they wouldn't feel in a while. A sensation that time had almost forgotten.

Nien stared at his lips and on a whim, she gave it a peck. He leans into her, crashing his lips onto hers for the third time with more initiative. She wrapped.her arms on his neck while they relished in each other’s warmer embrace. From their soft skin to sweet lips, the tension in their bodies continued. Who knew the night would turn out like this?

He stopped himself for a moment and took a better look at the woman’s less dominant, yet somewhat more exhilarated side. “Can I?”

Nien nodded while looking down, yet she immediately maintained her gaze at him right as he took off her blue blouse. Her sharp eyes hungered at him, allowing her to follow his tracks as she also unbuttons his polo shirt. By instinct, he held her hand before it could reach the final button. She sensed his growing hesitation by his sigh, making her giggle. Yet her reaction didn't sound like mockery or her being condescending. As usual, it’s simply a teasing one—and it’s turning him on, oddly enough. Not just casually. It was making his member rise up, though Nien has yet to notice while she’s enjoying his chest.

“It’s okay,” she pecked his moistened lips a couple of times. “If you don’t want me to…”

“You can,” he hummed, feeling the stimulating tickles of her fingers all over his torso.

“Take your time, and I’ll take mine,” she reminded him while showing her alluring smile.

They locked lips once more, allowing their hands to feel each other's bodies with their eyes closed until Nien finally took off his shirt completely, dropping it into the smooth floor with her blouse. Staring at Junghoon with awe, she realized how much of his body has changed over the past few years. She never cared much for his looks when they first met. In an instant, she shook her thoughts off so she could enjoy this meal unraveling in front of her. Junghoon, on the other hand, was cautious and flustered to help her unlock Nien’s bra while she took off her panties until she was naked alongside him. Revealing her slim and graceful curves, which left Junghoon speechless and drooling.

She broke their kiss, hoping to bring her question up early. “Do you have a condom?”

“I–I,” he stammered before locking in. “Wait.” He checked his pants. “I do have one.”

“Wow,” she giggled, surprised at the sight of the product. Not to mention, its brand. “Did you expect to get lucky tonight?”

“It doesn't hurt to be prepared, I guess.” He guessed he had to thank his friend for that.

“It doesn't.” She leaned into his ear. “That’s the last thing we wanna feel… Don’t we?”

They continue making out as they completely undress each other with anticipation.

It’s not his first time being intimate with someone. The same thing could definitely be said about Nien, and he knew that. But still, he could not help but be surprised by this moment. He’s still new to this lifestyle, this defiant “culture.” Examining her slender body. Her lips, he couldn’t help but revel in their embrace. And neither could she.

“Do you mind if I do something first that may excite you more?” he asked her.

“I don’t think anything else will top what’s happening right now,” she’s fascinated by his sudden advances, justifying her curiosity about him earlier. “But be my guest…” she told him with a grin.

He guided her to the bed while kissing her, making her sit down on the edge of the cloud surface as he dropped to his knees in front of her. She let out a moan as he began to put two of his fingers into her nub, but tried to lower the excitement in her voice by biting her lips when he started making circular motions once they reached through her hole and made their way into her zone. There, he took out his fingers and slowly parted her lips. Now assured that Nien finds pleasure in this act, he demonstrated the magic of his wide, slithering tongue, hitting all the right buttons as she moaned a higher range of notes. He flicked his tongue inside her prompting the woman to cover her mouth with her palm until the second she released her first orgasm of the night. Just after Junghoon had finished eating her out, more and more juices started firing out of her vulva, some which splattered on his mouth. Chuckling at his feat, he helped his partner sit down on the bed, making her hold his shoulders while she caught her breath.

“You naughty boy,” she panted in euphoria just as the last of her first juices dripped out of her cunt. She regretted underestimating him, but that only amplified her stimulation. “Now where’d you learn to do that?”

“Experience,” he simply answered, affirming her honest suspicions about him earlier. “I'm sure you're not empty-handed either, are you, sunbae?” The term struck a nerve.

“Oh, it's on.” Intimidated and aroused, Nien pulled him down into the bed on top of her, thanks to her well-developed biceps, as they sloppily made out for seconds, exchanging saliva and giving each other the taste of her juices. But as her element of surprise, Nien used her strength, flexing her extraordinary biceps, to switch their places as he was now sitting on the bed–while she was now kneeling in front of him on the floor with a smirk; with eyes full of unbridled lust. From her view, Junghoon’s shaft was already erect and if her curious hands weren’t enough from feeling it moments earlier, her senses were not deceiving her about his length. “Time to return the favor.” Maintaining eye contact with him, she leaned in closer and stuck her tongue out and proceeded to lick his balls one at a time, spending shivers of pleasure in his spine.

“Hnggghh…” he moaned, tickled by her gesture, as if pleasure was circulating from his nethers straight to his spine and spreading throughout his body. “You’re such a tease.”

“I haven’t even started,” she winked at him before continuing kissing and lubricating his testicles, eliciting more groans and exhilarated howls from Junghoon. Nien tugged his arms, encouraging him to stand up from the bed as the woman began to take in her member inch by inch inside her mouth with moderate difficulty. He carefully laid his hands on her head while she did her magic. Junghoon considered himself a lucky man more than some, having learned and experienced various sexual activities since the past year, but never has he felt this level of sensation combined with the spirit of competition and anticipation before, fucking someone’s mouth at this level of intensity and pace.

“See?” she taunted him. “You’re not the only one with tricks up your sleeve–or should I say, down your pants.” They both chuckled at her corny counter, quickly breaking their competitive facade as he pulled her for another sensual and intimate kiss.

“I’m putting it in,” he breathed heavily. While putting on the condom, he tried to hold himself from shaking, but Nien caressed his face with a trusting smile, looking at him with a starstruck and comforting stare. “I’ll be gentle, okay?” he continued.

“You do you,” she whispered into his right ear before leaning her back on the bed with her eyes still on him, switching her gaze between him and his member. In ten seconds, the condom was completely wrapped around his erect cock. With her index finger, Nien playfully gave it a gentle tickle which made her giggle at its girth and sturdiness, making her give him one more kiss of appreciation and approval.

In his initial slow and cautious pace, he finally slid it in her pussy, making her let out a pleasurable moan. Enslaved by their flaming hormones, both parties struggle to mutter anything intelligible while he thrusted his member inside her chambers. Thanks to the room’s thicker walls, all they could hear were each other’s groans, moans, and skins, yet frankly, each muffled and impassioned syllable of unintelligible nonsense is only turning them both on as with every second, the cacophony of noises exiting their mouths added more fuel to the fire of their raging sex.

“Nien-ah…” he moaned her name with pleasure. Hearing him mutter her name informally widened the smile on her face as she kept on moaning with him during his continuous thrusts. In the past few minutes, their bodies achieved synchronization, but Nien thought it was up to her to take things up a notch and break the cycle of repetition.

Facing each other, she rode him like a stallion. He kissed her neck, licking her sweat, as his gesture made her moans even louder as Nien felt his cock impaling her tight cunt. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, slowly leaning her face closer to his while she grinded on him with ease. They latched lips once again, their tongues dancing in a smooth rhythm until their breaths reached their limit.

“Fuck… Jung…hoon-ie,” she couldn’t help but moan like him. Just like when he was on top of her. “You’re so…Ugh!” Their howls grew louder until their pleasure builded up to a point where it was overwhelming their minds and testing the limits of their bodies. In the following minute, Nien climaxed first, arching her back in ecstasy. Junghoon busted five seconds later as his thrusts slowed down the longer his legs had shivered under her.

Tonight, they weren’t just sunbae and hoobae, or close friends. For one night, it was like they had entered another dimension. Living a wild and passionate scenario they would never have expected to be in. In this one, they were lovers driving each other insane.

“That was,” he panted in disbelief, wiping off the streams of sweat on his head while his thoughts felt like hieroglyphs and scribbles on a blank paper. “Huh. What the—Wow…”

“Yeah…” Lying on his chest, Nien was just as breathless as him, but she managed to let out a chuckle as her breathing slowed down to normal above him. “Wow.”

They took turns in the bathroom, with Nien going in first, but it was during Junghoon’s turn that he found a supply of unopened condoms inside the cabinet. “Holy crap.” Nien was lying on the bed when Junghoon showed her his newfound discovery from the door. As her eyes widened, her suggestive smile grew.

“Hmmmmm,” she purred through her humming, biting her lip at just the idea. Having taken one packet, Junghoon slowly walked out of the bathroom in anticipation, leaving the lights open. She pulled him into the bed, making him hover in between her with the condom still on his right hand, still supporting himself from falling on her. “I’m glad you had a keen eye, Junghoon-ah…”

He leaned down to leave kisses on her neck and collarbone, triggering her moans. “Well, who wouldn’t wanna miss having a second round with someone as teasing…” He moved up, giving her forehead a soft kiss. “As amazing…” And finally going straight to her lips. “And beautiful as you, Hsü Nien-tz’u?”

With no words to spare, Nien pulled him so she could taste his lips a little longer before she let him open the condom packet, unable to hold in her lust-fueled titters.

They didn’t waste the rest of the night, spending every second of those five hours well as they mostly listened to their bodies until they tired out into deep sleep, with Nien laying on Junghoon’s chest, his hand gently stroking her hair. While his vision was blurry, the man would recall fragments, moments between sleep and half-sleep, where Nien found herself staring at him in silence. In another, he remembered sharing another passionate kiss with her a few hours after their last session, which Nien had prolonged for minutes.

He could only hope there would be something more to come out of this. However, it was the weight of his own life, the losses he’s gone through and the responsibilities he would still be carrying, that made him shut his eyes, hum into the soothing scent of her natural scent and perfume, and submit into the silence of the darkness. At least they're together.

= = =

Junghoon opened his eyes and looked at the wall clock. It’s already 8:13 in the morning. Nien was already sitting on the other side of the bed, having worn her undergarments. While the atmosphere was awkward, they greeted each other. They were still friends, after all. Last night was still a night neither of them had anything to be ashamed of.

“You know, I don’t want things to be weird between us because of this,” she murmured.

He got up, sitting on the bed with legs crossed. “I know, Nien-ssi… I had fun last night, and I don’t want your farewell to be another tear-jerker. I'm sure you’ll get that a lot at your graduation ceremony.”

She chortled at his remark before looking up to him with an affectionate smile. “I had fun too, Junghoon-ah…” Last night started off as a party, but this was something else.

The two friends embraced. Much to Junghoon’s surprise, he slowly heard Nien’s muffled whimpers. Not wanting to ruin their moment, he expressed his comfort to her by giving her hair a gentle stroke, going down to her back. A part of himself didn’t want her to go either, but he knew what circumstances they had.

“It’s okay…” he gently caressed her hair while feeling her arms tighten around him.

In the minutes that passed, the two would take turns to wash and get dressed amidst the room’s air-conditioned silence or the deafening flows of the warm shower. Neither of the two would speak about their sudden emotional moment, but they can’t help but wonder. Having spent the first half of the night talking, it seemed no more words were needed.

After greeting the receptionist on their way out, they exited the motel together, finding themselves at the nearest bus stop after walking a block away from the building. While they spent a minute avoiding each other’s gaze, they had to face each other at the stop.

“So, this is me... I'm heading that way,” he pointed in the opposite direction of the street.

“Oh…” She didn’t know how to feel afterwards. A part of her was hoping they would take it together. She couldn’t even sigh in response. At least, she didn’t want to. For him to take it the wrong way. What else was she expecting? Her mind and heart had a conflict of their own, but Junghoon accepted it. Where this would lead. After a night like that, this was going to be the only path they were expected to take. “Well… This is my ride home. See you around, Junghoon-ah.”

He saw her get on the bus, joining a line of other passengers, but not before exchanging one last somber look at each other. She left a minute later.

“Take care, Nien,” he muttered. They would not see each other after that… For now.

Like with him and Nien, relationships would part ways as seasons change. People start to move on, for better or worse. Junghoon still had a year left in college, while Nien had to enter the real world and begin the search for the countless chances and opportunities that would await her.

From the other side of the lane, Junghoon sees a group of five friends, perhaps around his age, if not older, exiting a bus while sporting their gradually growing buzz cuts and their military uniforms. Arriving at the street, they walked with glee and they quipped banters at each other, possibly taking their next stop at the nearest open restaurant to dine in. Such a mundane but amusing idea popped up in his mind. One that made him sigh in defeat and yet, it was also an idea that he considered. Breathing in the morning breeze, he tightened his crossbody bag and walked away from the bus stop, wanting to wander with his thoughts on his way to a home that, once, had always felt welcoming.

= = =

I actually did not expect for this to reach this length, but I'd rather have this than another 20k+ words lmao. I really just wanna write non-series fics (aka one-shots) for a while before the holidays.

In terms of the smut scene, I actually realized it's basically the same set-up and structure as the ending of Mayu's fic, but funnily enough, I wrote this chapter first (before adding more stuff), so maybe that's why. plus, this one has a shorter smut than usual, but I will make up next time. anyways, this will be the ending of the series' phase one. while waiting for the next installment, you can either check out or maybe revisit these one-shots that take place after the chapter:

A Sergeant's (Private) Welcome (NaKyoung) A Cold Summer Fling (Lynn) Maple Spice and Everything Nice (Kaede)

for now, that's it from me. thank you so much for reading. as always, take care and stay healthy in all aspects. until next time!