Dreams and Future: Feeling and Drawing
let’s talk about dreams and future, and every little things about me that I avoid lately.
I haven’t draw for a pretty long time, well maybe I did some stuff here and there. But none of it was as happy as yeas ago. Somehow, I feel scared to go back and pick myself up. There’s still a bit of me who got left behind and I ignore them. It’s sad, I don’t know why I’m that cold, even to myself. Why I’m so mean even to myself? You know, even to just simply feel something- I haven’t done that in a very long time. I don’t know since when, but once the reality hit me, I become this cold. I don’t even know how to be myself anymore, all I know is just how to survive. I’m still scared. And to think that I’m struggling on my own is just so heartbreaking.
It doesn’t have to mean something, just like how you embrace your writings, your drawings doesn’t have to mean something and you don’t have to explain what it means. It’s all for you after all. If there’s people who asked you when you draw something “hey, what does this mean?” remind yourself, that you don’t have to explain.
But, when you’re this strange and ‘mysterious’ you also attract toxic people. Maybe that’s why I’m scared. To step out is scary.
Look inside, flip through it- tell me what is it about? Stop looking around to others, and look inside instead. What do you see? Now, you’ll know what you really want and now, stop looking at your past. You can always make new memories. Look in your present, and tell me about it.
You’re free enough to be you, and your dreams belong to you.