after maaany an hour trying to do this playthrough, i am finally hanging up the coat on the Fallout Tactics Solo Deathclaw run. it is LITERALLY impossible. one mission requires multiple people to complete it.
this is the mission btw (Canyon City)
now, before you say anything like, you should have known that this would have been impossible or why didn't you look ahead before starting this run, know that as soon as I saw the things repairing themselves, it was in that moment that I knew I fucked up. the memories of the only time I completed this game came flooding back.
I will be making a video of this run regardless with an explanation that this mission could IN FACT PROBABLY be done solo, but just not as a deathclaw. :(
it's the first of the month again, but specifically february. i wanted to do the same thing that i did last year and have a new year's resolution, but instead i am just going to post these quick resolutions.
this year i want to:
make a game that i really deeply dive into and flush out. the first game i released at the end of the year last year was fun to make and all, but i think it was a really jumbled production and the end product is more of an alpha for now.
actually make friends on social media, especially here. it seems like this is actually somehow the hardest one. it feels like people don't really make friends anymore with constructs that literally have SOCIAL in their names. even if it is just mutual followings, this is something i want to establish.
completely shut out pokemon VGC content. if there was ever something that has made me stress out, it has got to be playing pokemon vgc. every time i play competitive pokemon i feel as though my blood pressure spikes, so i would feel a ton better if i just didn't.
make a new YouTube channel to separate from the VODs. the channel i stream on is mostly just streams now, so i think it would be a good idea to make a new one with specifically non stream content. i think the first video i post there will be the next fallout challenge run i am currently working on.
get more loyal viewers. i feel as though i have never actually built a presence online even though i have streamed for so long.
some wishful thinkings:
start transitioning. i am experiencing gender dysphoria, but it clashes hard with certain things in my life like my lack of finances and lack of capacity to feel things.
getting a job. i have worked volunteer positions, but never paid positions before, so i would like to get a job. the problem is that both of my parents are disabled, so leaving them alone at home is impossible. additionally, the government has cut the means for them to finance their lives so everything fucking sucks. this is why i was really hoping people would watch my streams and eventually i would be able to use this to fund my life while i would give the rest to others in need, but that shit would never happen.
i have begun to ramble now, so i will end this here.
i've been using the signature weapon leveling mod to hyper level the brittle star staff, and i think i went too far. i accidentally wiped out the wall of flesh and the weapon apparently crushes all of pre hardmode. i was supposed to do so many more pre hardmode bosses.
Roguelite Pseudo-3D Dungeon Crawler. It's King's Field but procedurally generated, and with Hexen-style graphics!
and i was really far into the 99 floor dungeon when i saw another vampire offering me a weapon. at this point, I was so strong that I was practically only needing 6 hits to kill these, so I took the chance as i was already always doing, and ended up getting exploded. i think the vampire used the divinity original sin tactic of spawning an explosive barrel on me. i went from 200 health to zero in the span of a second.
i am such a loser. i cannot play my terraria without turning on eternity mode at least. i must see the deviant so i can buy their items that simplify farming. i must have eternity mode drops to make summoner class the strongest class.
i thought i would make one final post for the year 2025 going over the things i did from my resolution post. it turns out i actually did some of them!
the first thing to go over is reading a whole book, which i did do. all it took was taking it around the world on travels and reading it very slowly. i still remembered all the parts, so it wasn't as though reading it this way was bad. the book i chose to read was A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. LeGuin because i had watched the shitty ghibli adaptation, which i still had a little bit of fun watching admittedly. it was a while ago since i watched it, but it got me to want to read the book, so i got some of the books across a few book stores. picking a book that was in a series seemed like a good idea because the choice has immediate sense of direction. i could just continue to read the series, which would have completed one of my wishful thinking resolutions. I didn't end up reading 2 books this year, but i will try to read more books!
the next one down the list was going through the kanji book, which i did not even remotely do. the power of going to school and having grade based incentives is much more powerful than it seems. i don't really feel any push to go through the book. however, i did go through jisho.org on occasion to learn more words. i should probably try better to do this in the next year.
for releasing 1 software, it turns out that i released 2 count 'em 2 softwares! the first was a mod for Stardew Valley that added Family Guy characters to the game as objects. there were a few crops i added, a few weapons, and even one mob! in this modding experience, it taught me how easy it was to mod Stardew Valley. here is the mod in case you want to try it:
Adds Peter Griffin as a Crop and Chris and Stewie Griffin as weapons.Oh yeah, and Megatron Griffin invades all of Stardew Valley.
the other software was my first game i ever made, though it turned out a bit rough. no one has really attempted to play it :(. however, the main part i wanted to gain from doing it though was technology that i could use in future projects. for example, i wanted to build my own dungeon generator, which i did, my own dialogue system, which i started, my own inventory, which worked but was rather barebones, and many other things. with this, i hoped to add to my repertoire of game dev experience. you can try it here, but it is really difficult and barebones:
Dying Has Never Been So Punishing
in any case, i would say that i was successful in completing this resolution. if anyone wants a beginner programmer to make their game in godot, i am willing to help because i think i would do better in a group that is more dedicated. i am probably going to post to the itch.io forums to try to join some group for work.
next up was making more substantial videos, which i would say was mixed. i did make a ton more videos, but i never got to make certain videos that were closer to my personal life because i thought it was probably not a great idea to post those such videos. some video ideas were just sidelined by the fact that america has fallen off the deep end. one such example was that i was going to expose how one of my family members is a high class scam artist, but now scamming people is super common, so why would anyone care? some others i actually did get to, like a few more build videos and challenge runs. next year's first video is going to be a challenge run, which i think are more substantial. one thing i did start this year was an attempt to return to let's play videos (conceptually that is; i have never actually made a regular on demand let's play series).
i will now go over the wishful thinking parts briefly. reading two books was probably the most feasible of the parts, but i just didn't get around to starting the 2nd book because it took me a long time to get the 2nd book. going to japan just didn't happen because it is simply too expensive to go places. learning tagalog just probably will never happen for me. i do not remember when i looked up tagalog words, but it was rather confusing to learn the language because it seemed as though there was no structure to conjugating verbs. i didn't look too deep into it though, so maybe this was untrue. getting more followers did not happen in the way i wanted it to. i think that in this environment full of ai and bots it may actually be nigh impossible to actually be successful on websites as someone without the connections or friends. i have neither of these. it almost feels the same as the job market which seems impossible to get into. and for the last part, i never even considered making a website. i have always thought that my linktree was sufficient, so i am probably not going to make a website for a while.
with the entire post gone over, i am going to end this post here. i hope that you have a good new year celebration, and that things will go better for you in the upcoming year. if you are american, though i will certainly not be able to, i hope that you will find hope and cheer in the next year.
so long,
Pooepw
(here was the original post with the resolutions:)
💬 0 🔁 0 ❤️ 1 · resolution · now that we are 1 month and 1 day into the new year, i will now inscribe my resolutions for this year:
easy
after 1 year (aka a few months with several gaps between them) i have finally released a build of the game i worked on. i am taking a break from working on it for a while, but here is the page.
Dying Has Never Been So Punishing
in other news, i am willing to work on programming for anyone who wants it next year. i feel as though i would work better for somebody who already has a direction in their own game, but needs help with something like programming in godot.
