Naked 21 – 32
asleep is my awake
seen from Ukraine
seen from United States
seen from Vietnam

seen from France
seen from Brazil

seen from Australia

seen from Ukraine

seen from United States
seen from Canada

seen from Germany
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Australia

seen from Türkiye

seen from Türkiye
seen from Canada
seen from Italy

seen from Ecuador
Naked 21 – 32
asleep is my awake
Scream S01
Book title
Night Waking (1978) by Kathleen Snow
The Letter of the Law (2000) by Tim Green
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Män som hatar kvinnor in Swedish; 2005) by Stieg Larsson
When I came to bed [Giles] was there and he curled around me in the dark, but after he fell asleep the emptiness of the grave lay strange as the vacant belly after birth. I pictured the baby unwrapped, laid on a slab under lights, her bones probed. I was almost grateful when Moth woke, a real child with real needs and warm skin and the vanilla smell of baby sweat. I paced him to sleep through the smothering scent of the hothouses in the Botanic Gardens and the clouds of fallen leaves in the University Parks when the year has turned and it is dark before the library closes, and even when his head rolled on my shoulder and his hands hung like dead flowers against my body I wanted him to breathe in my arms until morning came.
Night Waking, Sarah Moss
I want to read another of hers but don’t know which. All got mixtures of dismal and rave reviews... Probably wise to borrow not buy but to do the former and see what is. Really loved this one though. Resonating with the main character, enjoying the language chosen and being intrigued by the plot bodes well.
I'm so tired
Not to complain or anything, but I have had 3 nights in a row of my 11 month old waking each hour between 10:30 and 5:30. I am blaming it on teeth, even though I supplied him with ibuprofen last night and he still woke a lot. I pray that he sleeps well tonight. He napped well today so that should help matters. Unfortunately, I don't get the luxury of napping. Please, baby, sleep! At least get a few good 2-3 hour stretches.
Nighttime thoughts
My almost 3 year old has slept through the night 4 nights in a row. The most he's ever done. Will this be number 5? Will this be the beginning of the end of habitual night wakings for him? Only time will tell! Also, I may never get rid of my heated blanket. There is something about crawling into a warm bed that makes baby night wakings more tolerable. Tomorrow is Easter! The bunny has visited our house and the boys' Easter outfits are all ready for breakfast and church tomorrow. I made matching ties for them.
I can't wait for my brother to have kids so that when his baby has kept him up for 3/4 of the night and is finally napping during the day I can be super inconsiderate making a fuck-ton of noise to be sure that child does not sleep soundly and hence is hell-on-wheels that night again. Nothing like being an inconsiderate fuckface towards a napping child and MAKING SURE the tired parent gets absolutely no break because they have to stay and make sure their child sleeps enough. Furious, sleep deprived mama bear rant of the day.
Sleep Training Day 7 to 12
I was really nervous about not being in physical contact with Nathan. I was worried that if I didn't physically force him to lie down, he would continue to stand up all night and therefore would never be able to fall asleep! So I would begin by forcing him to lie down before I cut off the physical contact. This didn't do anything since he would stand right back up as soon as I removed my hands.
Day 7 - After the initial contact of lying him down, I sat down on my bed which was only a few feet away from the crib. Nathan screamed as per usual and I shhh'ed him. It wasn't easy hearing him scream and he seemed annoyed that I wasn't trying to physically soothe him. He kept standing, then sitting, then standing, and so forth, all while crying. I had to make my "shhh" sound even louder to calm him during his screaming fits. He eventually lied down and continued crying until he fell asleep. This was 30 minutes after I turned off the lights.
Day 8 - I started the process in the same manner as I did the night before. I tried to soothe him the same way but he seemed more agitated this time than the night before, that I ended up touching him and patting him for a bit to calm him down. I made sure I wouldn't pat him until he fell asleep, but only until his screaming lessened. It took him 35 minutes to fall asleep.
Days 9 to 11 - There weren't many differences in these latter few days. Nathan was still a challenge as each night began with a screaming fit but he would fall asleep in about 25 minutes.
Although it seemed like it was getting 5% easier to get him to fall asleep on his own, this didn't seem to help him stay asleep. There were 3 occasions where he woke crying and then soothed himself back to sleep, but most of the wakings he was screaming which required our intervention to pat him until he calmed down and then shhh'ed him until he was back asleep. Several of these wakings took 10-20 minutes before he fell back asleep, and each of the nights he ended up in our bed when I would eventually cave.
I had enough of this. I was ready to leave the room and start the true Ferber method. Day 13 was a Friday, so it was the perfect time to start.